dennis whitaker x fem!reader
summary: reader has a bad day at work, and she doesn’t want to let herself feel it yet, so she heads home to her apartment before her neighbours, who also happen to be her colleagues (see also: her boyfriend and best friend) finish at work. cue dennis being a good bf and helping her deal with the day she’s had
content warnings: canon typical references to death and injury, hyperventilating
mdni!, nothing nsfw but just as a principle
thank you to my gorgeous proof readers @munchym @idkwhenimadethisaccountlol
Most shifts at PTMC were emotionally draining; it came with the territory, but today was one of the harder shifts you’d experienced in the past few months.
You had come in expecting to lose at least a couple of patients after being told that you were going to be on any trauma cases that came in with Mel and Langdon. The universe had other plans for the people of Pittsburgh and decided today was the time for a structure collapse, a hit and run, an incident at a swimming pool, a fire at the local grocery store.
Thankfully, most people made it out of the structure collapse and fire relatively unscathed. The patients that were given to Langdon, Mel and you were not so lucky, all their injuries too severe, rescued too late, too far gone, too close to the edge of mortality for anyone to bring them back. It didn’t matter how smoothly you intubated, how many rounds of epi and compressions the team administered, it didn't matter – not to the cold grip of death waiting for another soul.
It was past the end of your shift; you should have left to go home 20 minutes ago, but not with a life in your hands, the steady beeping of the heart monitor being created by your compressions rather than the man's body.
“Okay, let’s do a pulse check,” Langdon spoke, voice heavy with the weight of the day, of the loss you’d all experienced in the past 12 hours.
Pausing your compressions only led to the conclusion that you had yet to achieve ROSC that could allow for compressions to stop or for the team to deliver a shock to help return to sinus rhythm.
Langdon sighed as you returned to doing compressions, checking the time and sharing a look with Mel, “We’re not getting him back.”
“No, no, I can keep going.”
“Look, I know it’s been a hard day today, but we’ve done all we can for him; we’re only delaying the inevitable here. I’m calling it,” Langdon reiterated, observing you closely as the words settled over the room in mutual understanding.
When it became clear that you weren’t going to stop, Mel reached out, a hesitant hand coming to lay on your shoulder, saying your name with the sensitivity she was renowned for amongst colleagues. It made you falter and let the situation wash over you as you pulled your hands away from his chest and let them hang at your sides.
A final pulse check was done, a glance at the clock.
Perlah turned off the blaring sounds of the monitors, and all heads turned to study your patient as they took a moment of silence for the person the world had just lost.
“Everybody start finishing up, go home, get some rest, look after yourselves,” Langdon finally said, giving everyone the chance to pay their final respects and leave, and upon noticing that you were stuck in a trance, gently guided you through the trauma bay doors and to a chair, letting you collapse into the seat when your legs felt like giving out from under you.
He let you take a moment before addressing you, but in all honesty, you weren’t paying attention to what he was saying.
“I’ll finish my charts before I leave,” you mumbled, staring aimlessly at the computer next to you.
“No, God no,” Langdon startles, bending down to get on your level, realising just how out of it you were, “I’m telling you to take a moment, and then go home. Forget your charts, I’ll do them. Today was rough, and this is the first time you’ve lost more patients than you’ve saved, which sucks.”
He shook his head, “Not your fault, we did everything in our power to help them today, but there’s only so much we can do.”
“I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard, I’ve lost people before,” you question, finally realizing that your hands were still gloved and peeled off the blue material from your fingers, Langdon taking the waste from your hand and putting them in the nearby disposal along with his own.
As if like magic, the department’s wisest nurse appeared with your water bottle already unscrewed and held out to you, urging you to drink.
Langdon stretched, realizing that crouching in front of you had done nothing to help his back after the shift you’d both had.
“Nobody expects to come into work and lose this many patients in one day, even when you’re in trauma,” Dana spoke, shrugging her shoulders, “Shit happens, kid.”
You just hummed, closing the lid of your bottle and taking a deep breath.
“I mean I’d offer you a hug but I know you don’t always appreciate them,” Dana said with a smile, putting the offer out if you wanted it, but knowing that in times like these, an ounce of care or affection had you breaking apart without any estimation of when you might piece yourself back together.
“If someone touches me right now, I’m going to lose it,” you laugh dryly.
Langdon laughed gently, holding his hands up in surrender, “Noted.”
Silence settled over the three of you, although the hospital noise never dulled for a second as the minutes ticked on.
“Get your stuff, kiddo,” Dana urged, and stepped back when you eventually stood from your chair and trudged to the lockers, pulling out your phone to check the bus timetable to get you home.
“Does it look like I’m joking?”
Dennis grinned, logging off the computer he was sat at and standing up, “Fair enough, I’ll just grab my stuff.”
He turned to head towards the lockers, before pausing and turning back to Trinity, asking if she’d seen you around so that you could all head home together.
“Haven’t seen her,” She shrugged, “I’m sure she’s around somewhere, go get your bag.”
Despite her reassurance that you were here, he was also aware of a couple of patients who you had lost today and pulled out his phone from his scrub pocket to send you a few messages to let you know they were finished and ready when you were to head home since you had carpooled with them that morning.
Dennis tucked his phone away and continued on his way to the lockers, finally letting the tiredness he felt from his 12-hour shift that never finished on time settle over his body, putting in his code and opening the lock to reveal his jacket that he gladly wrapped around his frame, not even bothering to change out of his scrubs despite the fresh set of clothes tucked into his bag. He emptied his pockets of any pens, notes and various items that had been stowed away on his person throughout his shift, putting them in the small cubby alongside his stethoscope to avoid the likely event of forgetting something for work if he were to take any of it back to the apartment.
Settling his bag on his shoulder and closing his locker, he made his way back to where Trinity was close to falling asleep in the middle of the emergency department, slumped over the desk under the patient board. Whether it was from exaggerated boredom for how long it took Dennis to collect his stuff (it hadn’t even been 5 minutes) or from the day she’d had was unclear; it was probably both, mixed in with a bit of frustration from her situation with Garcia or something that Langdon had done to piss her off today, that would eventually be taken out on a poor vegetable that would need dicing for dinner later.
“Try not to fall asleep before we even leave,” Dennis poked, “Not sure the insurance has updated to cover me driving your car yet.”
Trinity let out a groan from where she was stood slumped at the desk.
“I’ve sent her a text, but she hasn’t responded.”
“Look, she’s probably just tied up in a trauma still, relax, Huckleberry.”
The blonde was unconvinced, glancing around at the trauma bays and not catching a glimpse of you in either of the two rooms.
Out of nowhere, Mel appeared by the two roommates, seemingly quite out of it herself as she sat down in a chair to finish up some charting.
Dennis’s brows furrowed at the sight of her, concerned by her lack of sunshine attitude at that moment, “Mel, are you okay?”
Mel startled, looking up at her colleagues who were now facing her with expectant faces, “Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine... I think?”
“Rough shift?” Trinity asked, eyebrows raised.
“Uh, yeah, we kind of lost more patients than we saved today, and the two who made it to surgery could still die, so yeah it was... rough,” Mel sighed, defeated.
The realization of just how truly shit your day had gone settle over the pair, the equation adding up in their head of why you weren’t answering your phone and why you weren’t getting ready to leave yet, probably still trying to process, or usually in your case, try not to process what happened until you were at a safe space to let it all out.
Dennis pulled out his phone again and started typing out another message to your contact whilst Trinity inquired about you whereabouts to Mel, the response being that the R3 hadn’t seen you since your last patient and that Langdon had taken you off somewhere so you didn’t end up staring at the body for who knew how long, torturing yourself about being unable to save him.
“Did you say Langdon was with her?” Dennis asked, pulling his gaze away from his phone and beginning to scan the department for the brown-haired doctor, and upon Mel’s confirmation that yes, it was Langdon who had pulled you away, Dennis started heading towards him (much to Trinity’s dismay), where he was sat charting whilst speaking to Dana.
“No, Dennis, we can ask someone else- stop walking towards him, don’t be a Fuckleberry, oh my god don’t keep- Dennis... Dennis-”
The man looked up, whatever he was saying to Dana trailing off as tired eyes flicked to the two residents stood before him, “You good, man?”
“Uh, yeah we’re fine,” Dennis said, nudging his roommate as he could sense her eyes roll.
“If you’re looking for your girlfriend, kid, then you’ve just missed her,” Dana said, tucking her glasses back into her pocket as she straightened up from where she was checking something on the screen in front of Langdon.
“Yeah, bad day, sent her home to look after herself, I’m just doing some of her charts,” Langdon explained, rubbing a hand over his face and shuffled around in his chair, wincing as his back twinged.
Dennis and Trinity gave each other a look of utter confusion, and started mumbling amongst themselves, which caused the older pairs' expressions to become even more confused than the former.
“Care to share with the class?” Dana raised an expectant eyebrow, as the two stopped as if they had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
“We all drove in together, so if she’s not here then how did she get home?” Trinity cut him off.
“Jesus Christ,” Dana crossed her arms, “I would’ve made her camp out here until you were ready if I’d have known.”
“I mean, she’s perfectly capable of getting home, and my guess is she took the bus,” Dennis shot a look at his friend for cutting him off, “Sometimes she just enjoys people watching and only having to worry about what stop to get off at when she just needs to get out of somewhere.”
“Has she told you that’s what she was doing?” Langdon sat up straighter, now filled with double the amount of worry he’d had beforehand for his favorite intern.
Dennis sent off another text with his newfound information, anxiously rambling whilst waiting for a reply, “I mean, no, but I know her. She’ll probably be home by now, but you know, just in case, but I don’t think she’s looking at her phone, so who even knows at this point but-”
A notification pinged through.
He types some more. Waits. Another message comes through.
“She took the bus, she’s at her apartment, she’s sorry for not telling us she left already,” Dennis repeated.
“Is she okay?” Trinity asked.
“I mean, she’s had a really bad day,” Langdon responded, and Trinity shot him a look.
“Poor girl, she’s having one of those times when any comfort will just make her cry her eyes out,” Dana shook her head, “Better get on home for when everything eventually hits all at once.”
“Okay... yeah, okay,” Dennis said, as if deep in thought, “Thanks.”
Trinity and Dennis made their way out of the department, bidding their colleagues goodbye as they went, organizing their plan for the evening, choosing which grocery store they were going to head to so they could collect supplies.
A gentle knock on the door broke you out of your trance, turning your head so your ear was resting against the wood.
“We’re home, baby,” a gentle voice spoke through the divide, “We’re going to get changed, make dinner and watch something. If you want to join us the doors unlocked, if you need us, give us a message, okay?”
The care in his voice made your tense body relax, sinking deeper into the hard wood floors you were sitting upon.
“I love you,” you said, not sure if he was even able to hear your reply.
A soft chuckle came as a response, “I love you too.”
Dennis stood on the other side of the door, walking across the hallway to the opposite door, heading in to find Trinity already preparing the food to make your favorite meal.
“Go have your shower, Huckleberry,” She offered, the current ingredient she was chopping, becoming a victim to her built up frustration.
“Yeah, I’ll prep, you cook,” she said, turning up the music playing from a speaker on the kitchen counter.
The two settled into a familiar rhythm, Trinity reminding him not to leave his towels on the floor, Dennis dancing around as he cooked the food, another bickering match that would only reinforce everyone’s opinion that they acted like siblings, arguing over which trashy reality tv show they were going to watch and make fun of the people in them. When you reply to his message about food being cooked that you weren’t hungry, he placed your food in a container to keep it fresh, ready to be reheated when you were ready.
Halfway through the episode they were watching, Dennis got another message, saying your door was unlocked.
“I’m going to go get her sorted, don’t finish the episode without me!” Dennis called over his shoulder as he left the room.
“Ugh,” Trinity begrudgingly paused the tv, pulling out her phone to scroll aimlessly on TikTok, sending various random videos to the group chat you had.
Dennis pushed open your apartment door gently, seeing you still sitting on the floor in your scrubs and jacket, but now resting on the small kitchen island instead of the door to allow him to enter.
“Okay, you stay there, I’ll be right back,” Dennis said, walking further into your apartment and entering the bathroom, reaching into the shower to turn it on, knowing that the water in your building took forever to get to the right temperature, and then busied himself with making sure all the products you used were where they needed to be, pulling a new one out of the cupboard when he found an empty bottle.
He exited the bathroom and came back to find you still in your spot, holding out both of his hands to pull you up to your feet and doing a once over of your clothes, helping you take your jacket off and telling you to empty your pockets and take off your badge whilst he hung up your coat on the hooks by your front door.
Dennis guided you through your apartment with his hand on the small of your back, into the bathroom and helping you get ready for your shower, putting your clothes in the hamper you had in there.
“Stay or go?” He asks once you were under the running water.
“Go...” You mumbled softly, letting the warm water relax your aching muscles.
Once finished with your shower, hair and skin care sorted, you exited the bathroom in the soft towel he had laid out for you and padded through the hallway to your room. He’d turned the lamp on to illuminate your room in a gentle glow and had your favorite pajamas laid out on the bed, along with a sweater that suspiciously did not look like one of your own.
Your boyfriend sat against the headboard, looking at something on his phone when he heard you enter, blue eyes coming to meet yours as he gives you that smile of his that made you always feel understood.
“Are you up for some food, now? I can go heat your portion up.”
“Do you want to eat it here or at ours? We’re watching that one show we all love making fun of.”
“Okay, baby, come over when you’re ready,” he said as he walked past you, giving your hand a small squeeze as he did so, and once you heard the front door close, you let your eyes well up with tears from the care and love he’d shown you, struggling to accept his affection as you battled with your thoughts: one voice arguing that you didn’t deserve the love he offered you, that you’d failed your patients today, and the other trying to remind you that you’d done everything you could and that it wasn’t your fault.
Letting out a shaky breath, you started getting dressed into your pajamas, slipping on the sweater and taking a deep breath of the fabric that smelt like Dennis.
When walking through your apartment to head over to Trinity and Dennis’s place, you noticed that your bag was on the kitchen counter, your bottle refilled for the next day, your ID, stethoscope, pens and notepad all placed in there after you’d forgotten to leave some of your stuff in your locker, your phone on charge by the microwave, and a note on the fridge saying he’d made you a sandwich and put it on the middle shelf of the fridge for the next day.
You were no stranger to Dennis being so understanding and kind when it came to your relationship, but being reminded of it when you were feeling so fragile made your head spin, not quite believing that you were this lucky in life to find someone as wonderful as Dennis.
Grabbing your keys you opened the door and locked it behind you, taking all but three steps to the door of your best friend and boyfriends apartment, opening the front door and closing it softly, putting your keys in the bowl in the hallway, walking tentatively into the kitchen, finding Dennis plating up your food, Trinity leaning against the counter complaining about a message from Garcia cancelling their upcoming plans.
“Finally,” Trinity said, pushing herself up, “We can make fun of people again.”
“Sorry,” you wrapped your arms around yourself.
“No, God no, you’re fine, glad you’re here. There’s a couch with our names on it and a show full of idiots that need bullying,” she responded, wandering over to the couch.
Dennis turned his attention to you, pulling cutlery from the drawer in front of him, “Do you want anything to drink?”
With a shake of your head, he nudged you over to the couch, settling you in the corner seat, handing you your food and turning off the main light so there was just the glow of a lamp and the tv, that was now playing the trashy reality show before Dennis had even sat down again due to Trinity’s impatience. He gave you space to eat and let you lead with whatever you felt comfortable doing. At some point he had taken your empty plate back to the kitchen, returning with a spare blanket from his room due to Trinity stealing the only throw blanket in the living room and refusing to share with anyone.
You’d lost track of how many episodes the three of you had watched by the time you shifted closer to Dennis, letting him wrap you in his arms and cuddle under the blanket as you finally felt more like yourself again, despite the losses you’d experienced that day. His hand came to rest on your waist as you watched the screen, his thumb rubbing soothing patterns into the knitted sweater he’d given you, occasionally turning his head from where it rested on top of your own to place gentle kisses in your hair.
After the fourth or fifth episode, Trinity stood up from where she was, stretching and looking at the time.
“Well, we’ve really fucked ourselves over for tomorrow,” she said when she realized how late it was, turning off the tv, “Goodnight, my favorite neighbor.”
“Goodnight, Trin,” you responded, laughing softly as Dennis protested his lack of a goodnight.
“You ready for bed?” He asked softly once you’d heard Trinity’s door close, continuing to rub your back as you nuzzled your face into his chest.
He unraveled himself from the blanket, standing up and offering you his hands to stand up, turning to switch off the lamp before guiding you to his room, crawling into bed only when he knew you were settled first.
You rested your head on his chest, letting his steady breaths and slowing heartbeat lull you to sleep, one hand massaging your scalp gently, the other resting on your arm, thumb rubbing soft circles on your skin.
But the peace didn’t last long, your dreams plagued with the faces of all those you had lost that day; the first had been studying to become a teacher who died from his crush injuries due to a structure collapse; the next had been in the same collapse, unaware they were injured, trying to help as many people as they could before realizing they needed treatment; a cyclist hit by a car, the police were still trying to find the person who’d done it; a drowning case after a distracted lifeguard didn’t spot the casualty in time; two patients with complex burns and smoke inhalation. So much tragedy in such a short time in the grand scheme of the world, with such little time to process between patients.
You weren’t even aware you were crying until Dennis gently shook you awake, very quickly becoming aware that you could barely get oxygen into your lungs and the uncomfortable feeling of sweat beading on your neck.
You felt sick, the room was tilted on its axis, and the faces of your patients swam across your vision as you tried to calm yourself in the depths of the dark room, reaching out for your boyfriend hoping that he could bring the world back into focus.
Upon realizing your unspoken thoughts, Dennis maneuvered you into his lap and wrapped his arms around you, rocking you back and forth as he let you cry until there were no more tears left to give, the violent shaking of your body slowly calming as a full breath finally allowed itself into your lungs.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured into his neck, and you could feel his head shake in objection to your apologies, brushing hair out of your face and pressing a gentle kiss to your head.
“No, baby, there’s nothing to say sorry for.”
He just held you like that until you were ready to lay back down, knowing all too well how much the patients that don’t make it can haunt a person.
“That’s an odd request,” he said with mild bemusement.
“It’s too quiet, and my head is too loud.”
He thought for a moment, hand absentmindedly drawing patterns on your shoulder, before he started telling a story about the first litter of puppies his families herding dog had on the farm, the little paws and the first day they opened their eyes, raising them up and selling them to other families, teaching the one puppy he got to keep how to herd the flock of sheep they had in the north pen, how she would sleep next to him in bed despite his mom telling him she couldn’t be on the furniture, would curl up next to him when summer turned to autumn and the nights got colder.
Even when he felt you eventually drift off again, he kept going, waiting until he was sure you weren’t going to wake up again until his alarm went off for your next shift, before finally letting himself relax and give in to the heavy weight of exhaustion pulling at his mind, arms still wrapped tightly around you, like he was attempting to shield you from the cruelties of the world, even just for one night.
authors note: first time writing one shots on something other than wattpad, i've evolved, but please excuse any tense issues i get muddled when writing in second person, please let me know if i've missed anything for the content warnings and i'll add it in xx
