When someone compliments you, don’t deflect. Make a conscious effort to form a habit of saying, “Thanks, I like it too!” “Thanks, I’m really proud I finished it!” “Thanks, I worked hard on it!” “Thanks, I take after my favourite auntie!” etc or even just “Thank you.” Stop using every compliment as an excuse to beat yourself up.
Acknowledge that other people see value in things you do and are even when those things aren’t 100% perfect. Try to remember those compliments later and add them to your mental idea of yourself. Notice that you don’t demand perfection from others before you’ll like them and try to appreciate yourself the same way.
Also, stop sorrying. It can be a hard habit to break, but reflexively saying “sorry” every time you talk or take up space (socially or otherwise) is both a reflection of and a reinforcement of your own perceived lack of value. Every time you find yourself sorrying inappropriately, make a point of thinking, “Actually, I do deserve to talk/be here/(other thing you sorried about).” When appropriate, say it out loud sometimes!
Honestly even if you don’t believe yourself quite yet when you say nice things or stop yourself from saying mean things about yourself – the things you say and repeat in your mind really do impact what you think and how you feel. You have to try to say/think the good things you don’t quite believe, that’s what makes it become possible to eventually believe them.
Try to set aside some time to do things you feel good about doing, like volunteer work, learning a skill, or projects where you make or fix something just for fun. If you are having a hard time trying to figure out what about yourself you can be proud of, you can just pick something you would be proud of doing and start doing it.
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