m

active november23 || in love with halsey

[fungusamongusblog2]

[tiredandlonelymuse]

I mean. Yeah. being thrust into this insane world / business at 18 irrevocably altered my brain chemistry. but I gotta say, I wake up everyday and make a coffee and sit with my son while we have breakfast and I think to myself “you made it out relatively unscathed to this point, kid.” and for that I am grateful beyond measure. all it took was the exhaustion of waking up and self evaluating on a microscopic level for the past 5 years (which nearly killed me) BUT. I’m here. And I have kept it pretty much together (best as I can) as of recent. which is more than 18 year old me would have ever given herself the faith to bet on. Growth and pain and peace on the horizon. You got this.

[tiredandlonelymuse]

I have been quietly living through some of the hardest years of my life. In some ways that you know and in others too fragile to display. I’ll share it when I’m ready in dazzling and terrifying form, as always, on the record. Finally getting the luxury of existential thought now that I have calmed the storms of survival. Love you.

[tiredandlonelymuse]

I mean. Yeah. being thrust into this insane world / business at 18 irrevocably altered my brain chemistry. but I gotta say, I wake up everyday and make a coffee and sit with my son while we have breakfast and I think to myself “you made it out relatively unscathed to this point, kid.” and for that I am grateful beyond measure. all it took was the exhaustion of waking up and self evaluating on a microscopic level for the past 5 years (which nearly killed me) BUT. I’m here. And I have kept it pretty much together (best as I can) as of recent. which is more than 18 year old me would have ever given herself the faith to bet on. Growth and pain and peace on the horizon. You got this.

[gl1tt3r-wh0r3]

[beevibunni]

[tiredandlonelymuse]

I’ve been on my knees since I was 5

In the chapel,

in a bedroom,

in an alley late at night.

Always facing an inflated

godlike

version of some guy.

But as a girl you do what you need to survive.

You open wider, take the body.

Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.

2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.

“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.

You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”

I’ve memorized

the lines

since I was 10.

From the Bible,

from the playbook,

from the magazines for men.

If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.

But, still, they only want

the women

they condemn.

I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.

With the pagans

and the hedonists

and sapphics there as well.

Purgatory seems the better fit

I can’t stand waiting in the corner,

but I do love being hit.

There’s not a torture you can prescribe

that I wouldn’t find

a way to like.

Every single second I’m alive

I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.

“I was sent to punish you

for the way I was designed.

You will never know a love

that you fear more than mine.”

- “God Fear a Woman” 2023

[loveitbreakit]

[cocaineheartz]

sweet little baby in a world full of pain

[fungusamongusblog3]

[twisted-w0rds-deactivated202411]

[elissbabby]

i never wish to be easily defined

[1800igirl]

[bitchtoss]

Winona Ryder on the set of Girl, Interrupted (1999)

[celestialmega]

The Atrocity Exhibition by Jonathan Weiss.

[tiredandlonelymuse]

me in Paris,

pre-show Vivienne Westwood AW23/24

an hommage to Kate Moss

walking Vivienne Westwood SS95

[sulkygrl-deactivated20230325]

you’re in the yard

i light the fire

[tiredandlonelymuse]

I wish that I was better, for the kids who emulate.

but they should really all know better,

than to take the fucking bait

that I’ve been dangling from this building

with my goosebumps in the cold.

I am nothing but a story for a man until I’m sold.

and he can tell it in the lobby, to the old men at the bar

they’ll all clink his cup

and make shit up.

to take it all too far,

they’ll tell a lie about the summer

where they “once had me alone”

and I’ll reside inside a sonnet.

I’m a picture in a phone.

I’ve aged beyond the angel they all saw inside me then.

a grotesque and fading memory

trapped underneath a pen.

“MPDG” 2023