time capsule

[lovepox]

i miss tumblr maybe i should come back

[lovepox]

long time no update! i thought i forgot my tumblr password again but i miraculously remembered it. i'm always so surprised there's people still reblogging stuff i posted years ago here like that's crazy its been literally a decade this year i traveled to portugal, korea, and mexico. i turned 27 and the psychological jump from 26 to 27 is CRAZY like people think you're so old when you say you're 27 but still think you're a baby when you're 26? weird

getting to the age where younger people say DAMN when you say it outloud is so 😭 a very strange experience. seeing fine lines that weren't there last year is a very strange experience.

i also got double eyelid surgery when i was in korea lol but the results are soooo subtle that i'm like damn... i really paid $2k to look the same only other life update is that i now stan a jpop group called psychic fever and am seeing them in concert in february... like i can't believe it........ at this big age.......... i fell back into fandom and i'm exactly where i was when i was 13 SKLDGLSFDGJLSDKGJ whatever stream love fire

to be honest all i did this year was work and i'm pretty sad about that. like looking back at my past yearly updates and realizing not much has changed since i made those is sad! i thought i'd be doing bigger and better things by now. i'm very grateful for all that i have now, but i need to be more intentional with making time to explore my aspirations and plotting my escape from corporate america on a serious level 😭 born to travel and hangout, forced to create decks

i hope when i update next year, i'll have something more exciting to say

here's what i look like now. i don't think i've posted a selfie since i was in college (CRAZY)

bye see you in a year if i don't forget my password again

[lovepox]

omg lol i forgot my password for 2 years but i recovered it! does anyone still use tumblr? are people coming back because of the whole twitter thing

soooooo i turned 26 this year. which is crazy. i don’t feel 26. i haven’t registered any age past 23 hahahaha i blame the pandemic. speaking of the pandemic i currently have covid (avoided it for 3 years) but i’m recovering well

life is pretty good! i’ve been at the same job that i mentioned in my last post (from 2021) and it’s been going really well. i’ve gotten the opportunity to be on set and art direct productions / shoots which i love. i’m actually in new york right now for a shoot. it’s not the moooooost creative work, but baby steps. i’d love to be able to move into directing my own stuff one day. like directing a music video or pictorial or creative directing a kpop group would be such a full circle moment.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S CRAZY is i had a work call recently and i recognized one of my coworkers...... as someone................ i used to follow on here................... LMAO like what.................. what a small world

i’m also going to japan in october! first international vacation since i was like 10. very excited but also planning for it stresses me out lmao. let me know if anyone has tips. 

boring update but i’m glad to have my login back peaceeeeeeeeeee

[lovepox]

hi it’s my yearly tumblr update lmao. hope someone is still out there reading. sorry this one’s going to be kinda a downer.

can’t believe the pandemic is still a thing. i can’t believe i was naive enough to think it would be over soon when it began. i mourn the person i was before the pandemic; i’ll never be the person i was before ever again. i was so full of hope and ready to really begin living, and now i’m so, so cynical. i’m cynical because it hurts to read news of police violence and racially motivated violence over and over again, knowing that it won’t be the last. i’m cynical because people around me care more about their right to not wear a mask over others’ wellbeing.

i find myself desperately grasping at any chance of external validation i can get. am i talented enough, pretty enough, funny enough, unique enough? how do i get more followers on xyz? am i getting enough likes on this one design of mine? why aren’t i as talented as xyz?

now more than ever i miss having an online community to go to after hours. i miss having mutuals and connecting with people online. the only people i talk to now are my parents, my college friends (but we’re all so busy), and my coworkers.

speaking of coworkers, i’m starting a really cool new job on monday. it’s such a good opportunity for me and i’m so so so so grateful and humbled to be able to say that. but the thing is, i used to think that the moment i get my dream job at my dream company, i’ll finally be satisfied. but now that it’s sort of happened, i’ve realized that a job at the end of the day is just a job. and when all the titles and portfolio pieces and big names are stripped away from my identity, i’m left with something that resembles a drone. and that scares me. i don’t want to be just my job, but my job is all i know how to do well.

okay this post is too depressing. here are some things i’m happy and thankful for: - my entire family is fully vaccinated! - my friend is doing really well on her twitch channel and i love seeing friends do what they love to do - my best friend is coming home next month and i’ll get to see her - i’ve been trying to walk 10K steps a day and the sunshine/vitamin D really helps my mood - my new job is going to be such a good learning experience - i’ve finally upgraded my phone for the first time in 5 years

i turn 24 next week. i’ve spent 23 in quarantine. (i’ve been on tumblr since i was 13.) this wasn’t what i expected my early 20s to look like. but if the pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that there are just some things that are out of your control, and that’s okay.

i hope 24 year old michelle finds a nice community to be a part of, and develops who she is as a person, and not as an Art Director at XXXXX working on XXXXX.

[lovepox]

it’s been a while! hope everyone is safe and well. the world......... has truly gone to shit since the last time i logged in lmao. (like... january? february?) i wake up everyday frustrated at american individualism and the general lack of empathy for others in this country.

no real life updates from me because everything has been on pause because of covid. i’m at home living with my parents (yikes) as i freelance my way through the failing job market. luckily i freelance on a very supportive team who is willing to keep me employed for as long as i need to be. mourning the loss of previous promising dream job leads, but it is what it is. things happen for a reason and i’m grateful to even have an income of any kind. i learned that working from home is NOT where i’m most productive. jesus. how did i get anything done in college... i’ve also gained a bunch of weight during quarantine and my self-esteem has plummeted sooooo hard because of it. but its ok, once i have access to a gym again and generally move around more regularly, it’ll go back down with some hard work. telling myself that this has happened to everyone and that i haven’t actually gained as much weight as i perceive to have gained. still feels shitty though. it was so hard and took so long to lose it the first time around...

on a more positive note, i am feeling good about one certain thing. i don’t want to speak about it much until it hopefully becomes true. i really hope it does and that the law of attraction is real. 

hopefully next time i come on, i have better news and the world is a better place. take care

[lovepox]

most beautiful person in the world much??? omg😍 hope your doing well bb! 💛

u are... much too sweet!! thank u sm 😚 navigating the post grad grey area but doing well 

[lovepox]

my goodness i just went thru all of my old asks that i kept for motivation and!! everyone was so nice and supportive to me at my lowest..................... 

i’d like everyone to know that things do truly get better

[lovepox]

it looks silver???

it ranges from yellow/blonde to purple/silver based on how much purple shampoo i use!! that was post purple shampoo lol

[lovepox]

oh and i’m blonde now LMFAOOOOO

[lovepox]

LONG TIME NO SEE i don’t even know if anyone still even uses tumblr slash even knows who i am/who they followed at this point but life update!!

i graduated college last week with a bachelors in advertising woooooo

my mental health is in such a better place and i’m so grateful. and i’ve lost ~15 pounds so i guess my physical health is doing better too! hopefully i can lose another 15 to reach my goal of a healthy/steady BMI. very stagnant rn though because i’m at home with no access to a gym and lots of access to food lmao

currently at home home recovering from school (lol) but gonna be in nyc in february for a networking event where i will hopefully secure a job in the city!

watch my vlog of flushing, nyc if you guys want

xoxo michelle

[harpsona]

A little Sailor Moon for tonight 🌙

[lovepox]

made a video of my day to day interning in new york city! please watch and subscribe for more nyc content <3

[lovepox]

made a video of my day to day interning in new york city! please watch and subscribe for more nyc content <3

[lovepox]

life update

- in new york for the summer! workin’ away, lmk if you guys have recs for aaaanything

- tbh that’s kind of it

- one more semester till i graduate! 

[nakaze]

[omgthatdress]

Putting these up for anyone who needs them today.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Why Does he DO That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

[superopinionated]

Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.

So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.

And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.

[omgthatdress]

^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is

[kithnkin]

Also recommending

[swampseer]

Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.

[heysawbones]

Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.

[robotsandfrippary]

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family.  It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors. 

[anna-mator]

A gentle reminder that I have Toxic Parents as a FREE PDF if you would like to download it and read it on your own. Take care of yourselves.

[heavyweightheart]

All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here

[naamahdarling]

Jesus Christ, the codependency checklist in Toxic Parents…WOW, I’ve been through that.

[naamahdarling]

Hooo damn.

Children need to make mistakes and discover that it’s not the end of the world. That’s how they gain the confidence to try new things in life.Toxic parents impose unobtainable goals, impossible expectations, and ever-changing rules on their children. They expect their children to respond with a degree of maturity that can come only from life experiences that are inaccessible to a child. Children are not miniature adults, but toxic parents expect them to act as if they are.

Someone go back and write this on a brick and throw it at my mother, please.

[k-eke]

Coffee, cat and fishes!