This is my detailed explanation of how I would survive in the Modern day world as a small talking raptor.
Money:
. I would work as a therapy raptor at a school or something like that
.I would only talk when necessary, and comfort people when they are stressed
. I would cause a bit of havoc to make people laugh, example jumping out of random places because I am a menace
.Alternatively I would make people to watch me sing, talk and hear my stand up.
Haters:
.This is easy if anyone gives me shit or tries to attack me I will just lunge at them showing off my teeth or scratch them a bit.
.If someone is constantly harassing me I will grab a knife between my teeth and slash their tyres, so the police can't track me by my bite or claw marks.
.If this does not deter them I will bite a few toes off
Transport:
.I will catch the public transport, if I get overwhelmed I can just hide under the seats
.Of course I would still be polite and thank the bus drivers because they already have to deal with shitty passengers
.I would converse with kids or just strangers in general to make them smile and laugh
Government:
.As a talking extinct animal the government will try to detain me, I will sweet talk them out of it and negotiate a middle ground
.If it does not work I will gather back up and try my hardest to avoid capture
.If I end up being detained, I would slowly befriend everyone there, I would make a woman (not a man, I may be a raptor but I'm still gay as hell) fall in love with me. As they will fall for me they will start to feel incredibly guilty. They will help me escape from the government. Of course I will not leave them as I will most likely fall in love with them myself.
Essential needs:
.As a talking raptor people will most likely let me stay in an apartment or in a spare room. I would pay them as much as I can as I'm not a dick. I would buy my own food and since I am a raptor I do not need to cook meat. However I would cook if I have people over I will set up a special design to make it possible. There would be a shower and a bed.
.If this does not happen I would live at the beach, I would scavenge not kill animals. Maybe adopt a few animals and take care of them. I will steal a few people's towels when they are in the water and create a bed. Since the beaches in Australia are clean, I will just go into the sand dunes near the entrance of the beach. I would use the public showers at the beach toilets.
Health care:
. I would reach out to dinosaur experts so they can examine my body and run tests so when the time comes I will be able to get the proper health care for me.
Fun and entertainment:
. I would occupy myself playing pranks and tricks on people
.I will still be reading science books as I can't get enough of science
. Obviously I will be singing all the time
.I am sure there are points I have missed, but thank you for reading my detailed explanation of how I would survive as a talking raptor. Please explain to me how you would survive as a talking raptor in the modern world.