pinned !!
❀ *ﾟ dori sakurada. thirty-eight. nonbinary. he/they. bisexual pisces. ⇝ looks like bronson st. john blew in about a year ago and never left. they’ve proven themselves to be driven & devoted but being secretive & callous is their downfall. it’s only fitting that ex-lover’s lover by voltaire is playing when they leave the motel, where they live on the 1st floor. rumor has it that they came to the states on an illegal passport to hide from their father, wonder if that’s why the co-owner & baker at harvest of horror bakery moved out of their place in bristol, england.
( trigger warnings for abuse, major injury, hospitals, amputation, mental illness. )
name: bronson st. john. nicknames: none. age: thirty - eight. birth date: march 15th, 1983. orientation: bisexual, biromantic. hometown: bristol, england. occupation: co-owner & baker at harvest of horror bakery. siblings: a younger brother. relationship status: married to matteo sanchez. technically speaking. children: three year old daughter, claire.
aesthetic: a false sense of security, shifting glances, fake it ‘til you make it, spilled wine staining the carpet, the desire to be forgiven but never offering forgiveness of his own.
BACKGROUND.
— he was meant to be set for life. really, that’s the only thing bronson had going for him. the couple that adopted him couldn’t have children of their own, but needed someone to take on the family business. simple as that. — there was no love in the home. tolerance, perhaps, but not really love. at times, bronson’s father considered him nothing more than an annoyance. his mother had been a little warmer towards him, but still, she had a strange way of showing it. maybe she’d spent too many years at her husband’s side, adopted far too many of his tendencies. — the only warmth and affection bronson experienced came after his parents brought home his younger brother. he wasn’t meant to grow attached. in the back of his mind, bronson knew why the younger boy had been adopted : in a way, it was meant to be seen as a threat. if bronson couldn’t shape up, then the business would go to his brother. unfortunately for their parents, the two grew close and formed a strong bond. — his disinterest in business and money only grew as he got older, opting out of meetings he was meant to sit in on. instead he’d sneak away, spend his time doing anything else. once the rebellious tendencies made themselves known, bronson couldn’t shake them. — he was raised to show respect and only speak when spoken to. the first time he was struck by his father, he was sixteen. after that, it became common practice if the man so much as thought bronson would open his mouth in disagreement.
— he didn’t last three months in charge of anything before it became overwhelming. learning the truth of the business, the inner - workings and the way his father treated those around him ( although bronson knew, from the way he acted at home ) were too many for bronson to handle. — he left finally left, and he left alone. he’d asked his brother to come but told him, he wouldn’t resort to begging. staying or leaving, it was his choice. when bronson ran, left that home and never turned back, he left his brother behind. maybe he should’ve fought harder to convince him to come along. he left the first ( and, at the time, only ) person he cared about in the hands of the man set to destroy and harm anything in his way. — forgiveness does not come easily and in this case, bronson doesn’t expect it to come at all.
— if there’s one thing bronson learned from his father, it’s that it’s incredibly easy to become someone you’re not. to reinvent yourself for the sake of changing the narrative. it was easier, in a way, than admitting the truth. especially to himself. so, that’s what he did ; he reinvented himself. — until, of course, anka became such a large part of his life. to this day, bronson credits them as teaching him what true kindness means. the first and only person to capture his heart, the first person to show him love. love that felt unconditional and, in its own way, free. perhaps bronson sort of lost himself in the relationship but, truth be told, it was the first time he’d ever allowed himself to get lost in anything. — yes, when their relationship ended, bronson was nothing but pure man pain. he has, of course, gotten over that now. you never forget your first love nor do you ever truly stop loving them, and anka was bronson’s first love. he’ll forever be grateful to them, and for them.
— bronson is ( or was, as he’s distanced himself from that lifestyle as much as possible these days ) part of an MC. it was another thing that was part of reinventing himself. changing himself. adapt and survive. if there’s one thing bronson has always been good at, it’s surviving. — he had let his guard down, and he should’ve known better. letting your guard down gets you killed. or, in bronson’s case, almost killed. he’d put his full trust into one person and, as it turns out, it wasn’t the right person. the accident itself is nothing more than a blur and somehow, it’s burned so perfectly into bronson’s memory. — it’s hard to completely forget the accident that nearly killed you, that left you permanently scarred ; and that’s putting it lightly. bronson’s right leg was amputated just below the knee. the doctors had done everything they could, he was told. this was the option that would keep him alive. or, at the very least, the option that would keep him from experiencing a lifetime of pain. — his time spent in the hospital was treacherous. he was left to mull over every single thought racing through his head. every single regret. thoughts of revenge he struggled to push down and bury. they threaten to resurface every day and he has to remind himself that there are bigger things to worry about now. — adjusting was difficult, nearly unbearable some days, but he pressed on. he adapted. he survived. it’s the only thing he knows he can do, and do well. the only lesson from his father he’s bothered to carry with him his entire life. you adapt, and you survive. nothing more.
— there are some days where he feels he should regret the move, and the choice to make this his permanent home. he knows, deep down, that the regret he feels isn’t about the move, however. it’s an accumulation of every other thing in his life he’s grown to regret over the years. he doesn’t regret his relationship with anka and reconnecting with them years later. he doesn’t regret learning about his daughter, and learning to be there for her. — truly, out of all the things he’s experienced, he doesn’t regret a single decision that lead him to becoming a father. he’s still learning, every day, but he figures that’s just what parenthood is. maybe settling down isn’t so bad. after all, there are some things he wouldn’t change for the world. he’s still learning, and he’ll do what he does best : he will adapt, he will survive, and he will make the best of it.
TIDBITS.
— he truly hopes to become a bond villain one day. he’s never said this, outright, but we all know it’s true. he just hasn’t reached the point of his life that could be considered a villain arc. yet. — no, i’m not sure bronson st. john is actually his real name, but who are we to point that out ? — he’ll always have a soft spot for anka. they’ve been the only person bronson has ever allowed himself to be genuine around. and, you know, they are the parent to his child. — there are very few people bronson has allowed himself to be close to. he has an inherent distrust for people, and with that, comes a certain touch of paranoia. other than anka, bronson would consider himself closest to atticus, caring for the other like a son. which is funny, when you think about how bronson simply does not get along with the other’s brother.
