I don’t think we’ve quite hammered this home yet… It wasn’t just about Alec being gay. Yes, he is and that’s enough for him to deal with but it’s about who he was gay for (if you’ll pardon the crassness of that statement). It wasn’t about him being gay. That wasn’t his major struggle. The struggle was that it was first his parabatai, his blood brother, a guy who grew up with him and his siblings. They were closer than brothers but he couldn’t be what he wanted. In the Shadow World, it is forbidden to fall in love with your parabatai. An act that could cause them to lose their shared rune. Alec struggled with that every single second he looked at Jace. And it was only made worse when he looked at his parabatai and Jace could only see Clary. It wasn’t just because Alec was gay. It was the struggle he had after he met Magnus. Alec grew up a Shadowhunter from a proud family. A family who knew Valentine and his thoughts on the Downworlders. Alec knew that Vampires, Werewolves and Warlocks were not to be trusted (thanks to his parents teaching). To be a good Shadowhunter, he had to keep the peace but not be friendly. He grew up learning that Downworlders were beneath him, to be feared and kept a distance from. He grew up learning these old prejudices and knowing where his family stood.
Alec didn’t face a battle within himself over being gay. It was a battle between who he should love and who he did love.. and after growing up listening to the Clave and his parents, learning every rule that he MUST follow as Head of the Institute, Alec chose Magnus.
