Product Placement
No title available
Mike Driver
Jimmy Eat World
Show & Tell
sheepfilms
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Sweet Seals For You, Always
h
No title available
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
NASA
if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
𓃗
ojovivo
seen from Jordan
seen from Singapore
seen from Brazil
seen from India
seen from Malaysia
seen from Uruguay
seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from Chile
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from China
seen from Argentina
seen from South Korea
@lovingbea1971
Pretty much sums it up. And life gets so much easier and more satisfying when you finally realize there is no Grand Purpose, but lots of minute-to-minute opportunities for small kindnesses that may turn out to not be small at all.......
I needed this
Pfft
Why are people following me. New people? I don’t even post anymore. I miss the old Tumblr!
So true...
Interesting....
Starting again....
So here I sit in a Florida airport, delayed what feels like 5,000 times, contemplating my life as it is now.
As it is evident I have not blogged in well over a year. I know I’ve mentioned here and there that I’ve missed blogging and wish to get back to it. I hope that this will be my chance to do so.
I want to mention that I’ve also “hidden” myself from the lifestyle, blogging, researching and reading because I felt like I needed to hide again. I know I’ve shut that part of myself off somewhat again. I contemplate why.
I will say one thing that I am aware of…….I’ve gained some weight and it really crazy bothers me looking at all of these amazing submissive bodies online. Why does everything I see show these amazing figures? Why can’t I see “normal” bodies? I hate it. I’m so jealous. I’ve turned completely shy and mad and upset with how I am now. I feel utterly horrible and disgusted with myself. Perhaps I’m acting like my mother and if I’m miserable everyone else should be and I hide myself from the “happy” and ignore the amazing and what can be. Plus I’m so darn lazy sometimes. Blah!
Anyway, with that being said, I’ve thought about what I should talk about in a blog now (including the opinions of myself). I’ve given it much thought.
Unfortunately, I can no longer only blog about my amazing submissive sexual experiences with Oliver. Why? Well our situation has changed. Oliver and I now live together and both of us have children from other relationships. Our schedule lacks time. In children, out children. Revolving door. No alone time, has to be scheduled, blah, blah, blah. So I thought it would be good to blog about our struggle and let people know how we handle it, our thoughts, our ideas and solutions, and perhaps share yours as well.
So, this will be our day to day kinda gig.
It has been a huge struggle for me, and I wish to help myself and others come together and unite and figure all this out. Perhaps help out others in similar situations as ours.
For starters, since we’ve moved in together, I can say that I have not felt so much like a submissive as I’ve liked to. My frame of mind goes back and forth dependent upon what time of the year it is (aka sports) and it’s hard for me to hold on to my submissive brain constantly. My job requires me to be in a dominant role and of course I have to be that way raising my child. So how do I balance ourselves between the two different roles? I know that I personally need “detox” time when I get home to get and be in the right frame of mind, but don’t really get that when I walk in the door.
I also believe Oliver struggles as well. He has MUCH more stress in life that I do and I know I am also a demand on Him. Perhaps at times it’s too much to handle for Him and He just expects me to be submissive even without His direction? Just do as I’m told until he comes to me with more training, etc.
So my day to day…….: He picks out my panties daily, I’m expected to read my mantra and weigh myself daily, text Him when I get to work, I need permission to eat, need permission to spend money (unless there is an emergency), expected to ask to do anything or go anywhere, and as soon as I get home I am to go to His office and see Him. If He is not home in His office I am to text Him letting Him know that I am home safely.
Sometimes I wonder if that is enough for me. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much. I suppose that is all a part of being a submissive, as well as being in a relationship. The ups and downs. I’ve thought about mentioning more routines, but do I really want that? I tend to get lazy sometimes (a lot lately) and don’t want to do anything and then I get cranky about it. Then I get stressed because I don’t feel like doing it. So where is the balance? I know some of you are thinking just shut up and do it, and perhaps you are correct. I’m sure Oliver would agree with you. I’ve always though perhaps I am a switch, but when I go deeper into that thought well, …. there is no way I could control a submissive. Thought kinda freaks me out.
So, this, as my first start up (again) blog, what do you do? What are some suggestions? How do you manage with your dominant work demands and family demands and balance your mind?
I’m looking forward to getting back and being with all of you again. I am also going to speak with Oliver about getting pictures posted again. I love to share our lives with you and I think that Oliver and I need to come up with a plan on how to do this – even with a full house. Yikes! Creative ideas please!!!!!! Ox
Bea
I miss everyone - all of you. I miss being here.
Wow...
I don't even know when I was here last, blogging. I know that I pretty much stopped after I got my new job in October. So much has been going on.
Perhaps I should start my story over.....give a recap of sorts?
So here goes...............
I've known I was a submissive my entire life. I cannot say that I knew what a submissive was so I really didn't have an understanding of anything until after I read 50 Shades. Yea I already know what some of you are thinking, but don't. After I read those books I literally dove into Every. Single. Book. I could to learn about submission and the lifestyle.
It wasn't really an "ah ha" moment for me because I already knew that I was a submissive, but I was very happy to learn the definition of what I was and that I wasn't alone.
I began to search for someone that I could enter into a relationship with. Met some "dom's" that were not so good and began to learn what a real dom was vs. a fake one. Luckily they were long distance so I didn't suffer too badly. I was lucky.
Finally I found a real Dom on a site. We connected extremely well. He took me on as his submissive after some time of talking about limits, wants, needs, etc. One small, teensy winsy thing. He lived half way across the country. So we entered into long distance M/s relationship.
I loved this relationship. I was very happy and content. But as the years went on there was a physical need that I craved. After some time of realizing that I needed more physical then he could give me, he decided I should date.
I met several men, but none that I was really too interested in. None that I could just fuck and move on. Turns out I also found out that I am a demi-sexual. This means that I cannot sleep with anyone that I don't have a mental connection with.
Until one day. The day I met Oliver.
I explained to Oliver about myself as a submissive and that I was owned by someone. Honestly now I don't remember what he thought of it all but I know he did do some research. Turned out I enlightened him. It seemed that he had always felt dominant but didn't quite understand anything about it being a lifestyle or anything else.
As time went on Oliver and I became closer and my physical need to touch him was too much. I had gotten approval from the master that owned me to have that need met. I cannot even begin to explain how amazing that time was. Something I truly will never forget. Never in my life had a man made me cum. Oliver did just that! Think I wanted more - lol.......................um YEA!
This is where I started to have some problems. While I never wanted to be away from master, my need to be with Oliver grew. It became stressful and I felt tied between the two. It was not a happy time for me. Master had released me for a bit and I literally went nuts. I lost it and did not want to be without him. So the 3 of us made it work. It was after some time that the realization of this would not work. After several weeks of speaking with master, I was released again and given to Oliver. He then became my Dom, and still, to this day is.
I still am in contact with master daily, but our relationship is clearly very different now. I will always have a need for him in my life though. He helped me through really so much and I will forever be grateful. He's an amazing man.
Now about Oliver and I....we don't have a M/s relationship. We have our version of a DD/lg relationship. I'm not a true little. I do call Him Daddy though. And our relationship is 24/7 and in person, not long distance. We see each other almost every day. Our relationship has been in a bit of a rut after I got the new job. Part of that has been the reason I haven't been here.
Part of my life is very stressful. I've allowed, and He's allowed, that stress to take me away from being a submissive. It was so bad it was to the point where I questioned whether or not I still even wanted to be in a BDSM relationship. I asked Oliver for a break and we went back and forth a lot about my tasks and rules, etc. He was very lax. I think He was this way because He wasn't sure if being hard on me would have pushed me over the edge. He waited it out until the stress dissipated.
Was this good for a Dom to do? Maybe not, but it's what He did and we both learned from it. I don't think that He will allow it to happen ever again. Actually I'm pretty sure He won't allow it to happen again. He has a better hold of me and things now.
Our relationship is beginning to grow again and become much better. I'm not the easiest person to train and I think He's also learned how to handle that. He is continuing to learn, grow and realize mistakes, as am I. I think now that the stress will be gone for awhile we need to grow stronger so that when it comes around again we will both handle it better and know exactly what to do, or not to do.
Today He said something pretty cool. Sometimes when we talk, freely, I tell Him that I think I am mentally stronger than Him. That He can't break me. Today He asked me if I felt the same. I told Him I did. He said this. "When I'm not with you, you feel disconnected and alone. You feel confused and irritable. These are not signs of strengths. When I'm with you, you feel emboldened enough to be bratty. You feel confident and loved. Those are signs of strength. So when are you strongest? What is the source of your strength?"
Amazing right. I never realized that.
I do want Captain (I call Him this too sometimes, especially in public) to break me. Very badly. I can feel it more lately. Feeling the submission in my mind that I so missed.
The long distance relationship was so much easier not to fall out of the submission mind because it was the only thing we had. This relationship with Captain is hard work. So very much worth it though. I can't wait to write about the future. I think Daddy is ready to take us to another level, and while I'm very nervous, I'm very excited. I trust Him, I know He will not hurt me, but it makes me nervous because He will be making me more mentally connected to Him. I love the mental part. I need it, but it leaves me open to be truly damaged if He never decides to let me go.
Not sure what else to say................but it feels extremely good to be back here. I hope to be back more often.
I've been away much too long.....
11.13.16 Whoa!
HOLY CRAP - IT'S NOVEMBER AND SO MUCH GOING ON......Sorry but November is still going to be under October for now! Maybe next weekend I'll have time to update! Does it matter? IDK? How's everyone? I miss blogging SO much! I've been insane busy. The new job has me moving every single second. Daddy let me shop to decorate my new office today. Was fun! Need more - lol!! Like a BIG picture of Daddy!!! Hee hee hee! The job - well so far so good. I think I'll like it. I feel important there. Needed. I enjoy that. Granted it's only been 2 weeks, and I still have so much to learn. I want to be at the point where I know everything and I can enjoy it instead of learning it. I want to be able to know what to do now. Again and as always and we all know patience isn't my thing. I even drive fast. I'm always running. Always going nuts. Non stop. Maybe that's why I don't sleep well???? I fear I'll miss something? LOL, my mother always said that. So Daddy met my parents. For me it went as expected. I knew my mother would act as she did. I know she means well but heck I'm not a kid anymore! She said something when she left. "It's not what they do for you, it's what you want to do for them". She doesn't understand how much I want to do for Him. I want to give Him the world. Please Him. Because I've been so crazy nuts lately between the new job and family obligations and sports, I know my head is not where it should be. I know I'm owned and will not deter from that, ever!, but I might "accidentally" make a decision on my own without even thinking. It's because I'm in "run mode". Do do do! Act act act! It's hard. It's hard taking a step back and letting Daddy do what He needs to do. I know the mistakes I make. I see them. For example He was trying to lead me through a VERY large crowd over the weekend and I maneuvered my way to lead. #MISTAKE. Daddy didn't say anything but I so knew He was thinking it. I'm always rushing. Never taking a step back. I need to figure out how to control the rush. Not sure at this age I can do that. It takes a conscious mind for sure. Darnit! I just have to do it!!!! The playing aka sex with Daddy is still amazing as always. I cannot even explain to you what He does for me, to me. No one ever has made me feel or made me do what He does. It's so weird too because it's like my mouth was made for His cock. I do things with my tongue that I never have before. I love sucking His cock. It's the most perfect cock on the planet. I'd like to say it was made for me. Anyway, still rushing. No pictures to share ... sorry. Maybe next weekend? But know, even though I'm rushing (and Daddy settling me) I'm so very happy!!!!! He's the best thing EVER! I love Him. Thank You Daddy for You - oxoxoxoxox
11.2.16-Yes I know it’s November but...
..I have no time during the day w/ my new job to set up the November blog yet...maybe this weekend. It's been 2 days since I've started my new job and well, I feel like it's been longer. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing? I think I will do well in the position, but I just have to get to the point where I know what the heck I'm doing. In time.............but as we know patience and I are not friends. Since I've started the job, I've been kinda stressed and not thinking. My head hasn't been where it's supposed to be. I let my emotion and over thinking and everything else take me away. Then I get out of control. Tonight when Daddy came over, He took the problem (aka me) into His own hands. Got a really really good spanking, which was VERY much needed. Again, made me cum until I had to beg Him to stop and then fucked me until I was sore. Exactly what I needed. Simply perfect. I'm so happy Daddy knows exactly what I need. Besides, I'm not sure how much more of the crazy me He could take. I do really want to keep up the blog as I enjoy it. I'm hoping once I settle in my new position at work I will be able to manage my time better. Stupid me was trying to control all those decisions. Daddy will make everything work. Duh!
She liked to have her hair pulled…she liked a nice slap on her ass… She wanted to be manhandled a bit…roughed up…she wanted to feel the fuck for a couple of days… She wanted a man to be the fucking man…
coachmw–Thoughts of a Silver Fox (via coachmw)
Hell. Yes.
(via forhispleasures)
💙🐱
(via darkazazael)
And I am the man that can deliver it all.
(via outlaw-daddy)
So true
LOVE
10.25.16 Daddy did it again
He made me cum by oral sex. I was so scared going into it because I was worried I couldn't do it again. I thought that would have made Daddy upset. We discussed it afterwards and I told Him my concerns. He knows this is a process for me, something new to learn all over again. He understands. I'm grateful. Welp, one week from today I will be starting a new job. Ironically I don't know which one yet. Since I've posted last about a job I've gotten 2 more offers. My last interviews are today so Daddy will be making a decision. I am leaning towards one and explained to Him my opinion. He said He will take it into consideration. I'm still nervous. Starting this new venture is making my anxiety heighten. I don't like doing new things because I get scared. I won't even go to a new place if it's not something surrounded by an area that I am comfortable with. I wish Daddy could hold my hand on the first day. My head is still in a good place. Although I'm very tired right now, I am still very happy and settled. He's brought the best in me out and makes me want to be a better person. He's my best friend. I never want to forget that feeling that Daddy gave to me on Sunday. Perhaps the smell of the flower we saw will make it a physical memory for me.
10.23.16 The Weekend
I simply cannot tell you in words how amazing my day was. Well we did have a good night too. Wore my collar and leash out to a Halloween Party - hee hee hee. Felt so good. Honestly, when we got home I didn't want Daddy to remove the leash. I felt more connected to Him. Loved it. Like an umbilical cord, of sorts. But today.....amazing. I was up very very early and sat in bed while Daddy slept. I had some coffee and did some reading. After awhile Daddy woke up and we cuddled, watched tv, Daddy slept on and off, we touched, rubbed, connected. Daddy asked me what I was thinking. I was completely honest with Him and said I was thinking about Him licking my pussy while I was wearing my nipple clamps. He ordered me to go and get my clamps. I retrieved them and handed them to Him as I crawled back in to bed. He, very slowly, played with my nipples as He placed the clamps. The immediate shock of the pinch felt so good. Daddy then began to work His way down to my pussy. His tongue on me = no words. I don't think I've come orally in 5 years. Maybe more. I've had a really hard time with it. Not sure why or what happened. Maybe because of how I've been treated in the past? Anyway, oh my......I came. It. Felt. Amazing! He's broken almost every barrier I have. Daddy keeps breaking my wall down. I have no idea why today, but it happened. Maybe His chipping away at my wall allowed my brain to release some 'brick' and I had no inhibitions? After I came, I started to rub Daddy's cock and massage His balls. At one point He ordered my mouth on His cock. I can't tell you how wet that made me. I love His order. His strong voice. His Dominance. I might have been able to cum from it. Once in awhile Daddy would force me to swallow all of Him. I love hearing Him groan. It's one of my favorite things in the world to hear. His pleasure equals mine. Daddy took me then. All the ways He likes best. Countless times of cumming. This Man is amazing! Now, not that all of this was simply perfect, but what Daddy did next was the most awesome thing ever. After a shower together, we dressed and Daddy took me to a beautiful flower farm. We listened to a lecture and then were able to walk around and enjoy the property. He even bought me cute little gifts from the gift shop. Back at home I laid my head in His lap as we made small talk. Daddy confirmed that our future will be solid as this day. After Daddy left to go home, I reflected about the day and how I felt. Guess what??????????? I actually felt like MYSELF. Like my old self reappeared and I found me! The person who is really nice to people and enjoys chatting and is friendly and loving and kind. That's me! Not the bitter and angry person who is afraid to be herself because she is worried about what others think. I realized that no matter what others think of me it really doesn't matter because all that matters is what He thinks. He is my life. Not what all these meaningless people around me. My heart is filled with so much of Him and how happy He has helped me find me and who I used to be. There are no words to explain how happy I am. After all of these years I remember what it feels like to be free and happy and me. He truly is a Master..... Master Daddy.... PS - Yes, I do have pictures to post of our play night, but they simply aren't good enough for how He's made me feel about myself today. No picture could ever explain it. But I will post pics on a different post......for all you pervs! ;)
10.21.16 Last night felt so good
I was spanked in a different position this time. It was hard not to move. Daddy said the other way is much easier on me. He's right. He told me that I will be spanked in this position more often and no longer over His knee. Before we started, I was playing with clothes pins that were left on the kitchen table. Was a mistake because then Daddy used them on my nipples. He then slapped my tits making the pins moves. The pain felt so so good. I know that I need more. I think Daddy knows it too. I've been carrying too much stress and responsibility on me and it needs to be released so that Daddy can take it over. After being spanked, Daddy put me on the bed and forced me to cum over and over and over again. I literally, as I often do, begged Him to stop. I was trying to be so good by keeping my ass in the air for Him, but I couldn't do it. The force of me having an orgasm makes me move. I need more practice. He doesn't want me to move. He makes me feel so amazing. I literally crave Him. I think this week has been a good learning week for me. We've talked a lot and maybe it's starting to sink in. I know it won't happen over night, but I know that it will happen. I will be His good sub. One that never questions and just obeys. One that doesn't try to take away responsibility from their Dom and leaves it where it belongs. One that doesn't think or make decisions and leaves it with the one that does. I will do all of this. For Him. For me. For us. For the first time, Daddy took some video of Him taking me. I can't stop watching it. My absolutely favorite part is watching His amazing hand on my ass. I'm sure He will allow me to share with you soon. Stay tuned.......
10.20.16 Rambles
I was told to blog today. I suppose it's a good thing since I do have some things on my mind.
For starters, I was punished last night. Daddy found out that I haven't been doing something that He asked me to do. I was very nervous to hear what His punishment was going to be because His punishments are in no way good. I am afraid of them. A reason I'm afraid of them is because I actually have to do them in
full effect
, where as before if I was punished long distance sometimes I could sort of minimize the punishment. Anyway, Daddy made me pinch my nipples
really hard
for 3 minutes. Then He pinched and played with them for a short time after.
Now I know what you're probably thinking. Not that much of a punishment right? No, but it wasn't that much of a bad thing I did wrong.
I can't say that I was disappointed that I was punished this time. I know that Daddy thinks I thought He has been a pushover in the past and I know that He is proving that thought otherwise. Although He doesn't need to, I think a little scare in me is a good thing. Again, I reference the parent child thing. I know if my parents didn't scare to punish me as a kid, I would have been a much worse child. True fact.
Other rambles....new job stuff. I might have 2 more offers on the table after I already accepted the one. What do I go for? The money? Probably. I need to leave this in Daddy's lap though. He's to make the decision. I know that He will keep in mind the money, the benefits and any retirement plan the companies may or may not have, among other Daddy thoughts.
During my day I read this article today on staying focused. I know, as does He, that I have been having this problem a lot lately and I know it's because my mind is preoccupied with other things going on in my head. That and my mouth/brain filter have been non existent. The article said that I should journal about these things and it will help release them from my mind and be able to focus better. I'm not sure that will help me because I am a natural over thinker. So...what else is on my mind?
Job - what one do I take, I want more money, will I like it, have to travel further - yuck
Money
Booking flights
Moving
My submission to Daddy and focusing better
My submission to Daddy when I'm around my child and how I act towards my child when I'm around Him. I want to be/act submissive then too, but I can't do that in front of my child. I'm very strong. I'm a single parent.
My child's sports schedule and health
My blog
My weight
....think that's it. I can't do anything about booking flights until I get a check I've been waiting for and I hate being patient about it. I'm not a patient person.
On a fun and silly note, Daddy and I are going to a Halloween Party this Saturday. I'm wearing my collar to the party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yikes! LOL. Think anyone will realize that it's
really
mine?
I also miss playing with Him. I'm hoping to play some after the party, but I don't know if we will be able. It may ending up being too late. The following weekend, well, the parents will be visiting. But I shouldn't worry about it because that's is all in His lap. I have no decision on it anyway. Just miss it.
I do Daddy
