It is always important to show proper respect and deference to your Master!
He is the one in charge, and you must never forget your place beneath Him. The moment He walks through the door, be ready to kiss and worship His feet as He deserves. This not only demonstrates your obedience toward Him but also your absolute understanding of your place at His magnificent feet.
Some submissive slaves spend years trying to forge themselves into something better
With stricter routines, sharper discipline, and constant self-correction, they feel that if they just apply enough pressure, they’ll finally become a great slave on their own. But it doesn’t work like that.
It just turns into strain that never switches off. It's a quiet exhaustion sitting behind everything; always managing, always adjusting, and always holding.
Then a firm Master enters their life.
A Master who isn't flexible, inconsistent or someone you have to guess about. He's someone solid and disciplined. He is exact in what He expects and exact in how it is to be done.
And when that kind of control takes hold, everything starts to reorganize. The mental noise doesn’t just fade; it gets cut down. Decisions stop spiraling because they’re no longer yours to endlessly reopen. You stop drifting because there is only one direction that matters now, and it doesn’t move.
A disciplined Master doesn’t leave space for chaos. He simply removes it completely. What remains is a structure that doesn’t bend and authority that doesn’t soften. At first it can feel severe and unforgiving....like steel around you.
But then something unexpected happens. You stop fighting yourself, stop carrying every decision like a burden. You stop rebuilding your identity every single day just to keep functioning. And that’s where the shift hits.
Because under that kind of control, you are not constantly denying what you are anymore; you are not scattered across ten different thoughts at once or exhausted from being your own source of order.
The weight comes off, not because life gets easier, but because it is no longer yours to constantly hold together. And slowly, you settle into it, and before you know it, you can finally breathe deeply and let everything else melt away.
I get many faggots contacting me, telling me they are realizing they are fags, and asking for advice on how to be a good fag for men. Here are several basic ways to begin living as the true faggot you are. These are just a few ways to begin living as a true faggot – feel free to add other ways in the comments.
Call all men Sir. faggots are inferior to men, and calling all men “Sir” shows you understand this. Begin to look at all of the men around you and realize that each and every one of them is Superior to you. Practice sitting in public places, and in your mind look at each man and say to yourself “that man is Superior to this faggot.” Do that for every man you see.
Avert your eyes in the presence of men. Who are you, as an inferior faggot, to look a man directly in the eyes (unless prompted to do so)? Instead, stare at men’s crotches or feet, as a sign of respect, and a signal to all that you are a true faggot and that you know you are inferior.
Apologize frequently. Remember this: true faggots are always wrong. Even if you are factually correct about something, you are are wrong. Practice saying “Sorry, Sir” as many times in each conversation as possible.
Defer to men in all ways. Always take a secondary, passive, submissive role so that the men around you have an easier time in all ways. Do this wherever you are, such as in meetings, in lines, in traffic, at work, etc.
Don’t think being a faggot only relates to sex. New fags think that being a faggot is about being fucked and used sexually. Being a true fag is a mindset, a lifestyle, a realization of your inferiority. Being a fag is who you are; being a hole for men to use is just one of your many duties.
Be useful to men. Find ways to make the lives of men around you better, in big ways and small. Buy men in your office Starbucks, pay for their lunches, buy tickets to sports events and then give them to men to use, etc. Be generous with your time and efforts as well. Do as much of their work at your job as possible. Offer to clean their homes and do their laundry. Say to yourself often: “Less for this fag means more for men.” Remember, you are here to make their lives better.
Your needs and wants don’t matter. So many fags write to say “I want you to fuck me” and “I need to be used.” This is a mistake. What you need and want isn’t important. True faggots should only want what Superior men want, and their only need is to improve the lives of men. Ask men what they want, what they require from you, and then do it, no matter what, no questions asked, no hesitation.
Don’t urinate standing up. True faggots should sit when using the toilet. Urinals are for men only. fags are male, but not men, so they should sit like a female when pissing. This will also always remind you of your secondary status. fags don’t use urinals: fags are urinals for men to use.
Cage your fagdick. faggots should become accostomed to not using their fagdicks for their own pleasure. A true fag’s pleasure only comes through bringing pleasure to men. When fags use their own fagdick for pleasure, they are focusing on themselves and their own pleasure, which they should never do. Your entire life should be devoted to making the lives of men better.
Practice practice practice. Every day, find ways to practice being ready for whatever you might be asked to do. Practice deepthroating with dildos, keep your hole clean every day in case a man wants to use it, learn to drink your own piss so that you can be an eager urinal for men, etc. Being the best fag you can be is your duty – practice every day.
Never complain. Being a faggot can be difficult, it can be rough, it can be lonely. But always remember this: it is an honor for faggots to serve and support and uplift men.
Tips on Fucking Doggy Style That Tops Often Don’t Tell Bottoms
Here are some tips on becoming a better bottom that the tops you have sex with may not tell you either out of a desire to not offend or because they get a thrill from telling others that we bottoms cannot handle their cock ;-)
SPREAD YOUR KNEES WIDE. The wider the bottom spreads his knees, the easier it will be while in doggy style. YES! If this is the first position he puts you in, use this trick to get used to his cock.
ARCH YOUR BACK. This will not only look sexier to him, but also make deep penetration easier and less painful.
PUSH YOUR ASS OUT. This shows the top you crave his cock in your ass. Once he is in, you can push back to the rhythm of his thrusts.
PLACE YOUR CHEST SQUARELY ON THE BED. There is a reason a top pushes your head in the pillow or the sheets. This helps arch your back and push your ass out. It’s visually stimulating, because the focus is now completely on the ass you have presented to the top. The symbolic submission is also a big turn-on to a dominant top.
RELAX YOUR ANAL SPHINCTER. Having adopted the position described in steps 1-4, you should now focus your mind on relaxing your anal sphincter. It may help to remember how you take a dump, because the muscular relaxation is identical. Steps 1-5 should, with practice, enable very deep penetration with little or no pain.
ALLOW DEEP PENETRATION. Once you’ve mastered the previous steps, you may let him spread his own legs wider than yours so he can get more directly above you to pump his cock down and deep, with his balls bouncing off your ass.
REACH FOR HIS BALLS. Many tops find this very arousing, because you are fondling the sacks that produce their sperm, affirming their manhood.
COMMUNICATE. Tell him how much you enjoy having his cock in you. Let him know if you like his scent. Ask him to go slow if you feel pain.
Additional tips may be appropriate to partners who thrive on domination and submission. In all cases, these should be within reason. Both partners must be comfortable with this. Experiment to see what works best.
LET HIM SPANK YOU. A lot of dominant men get turned on by slapping the asses they are fucking, and seeing those asses turn a rosy color.
LET HIM GRAB YOUR HAIR. Another turn-on for many dominant tops.
LET HIM HOLD YOUR NIPPLES OR MAN BOOBS. As he pumps his cock up your ass.
LET HIM CALL YOU NAMES THAT TURN HIM ON IN THE HEAT OF THE FUCK. “Bitch,” “cocksucker,” “fag,” etc. But only when used in a non-derogatory way. This is about breaking taboos (which are charged with emotional intensity) and letting both of you get aroused by embracing your (contrasting) inner natures.
LET HIM CALL YOUR HOLE A “PUSSY” OR “CUNT.” That is, after all, its functional equivalent.
SHOW HIM RESPECT. Be polite. Call him Sir. Thank him after a good fuck.
This post is basically a transcript of a speech I give to newbies to the D/s scene all the time IRL. I figured it might be useful not only to people curious about kink IRL but also to smut writers here on the smut writing website.
For the purposes of this post, I am sending specific physical acts out of the room. Right now they don't matter, because you can meet an emotional need through any number of physical acts. So when I say that there are many ways to dom and many ways to sub, I am not referring to many kinds of physical acts. I mean that there are many emotional needs that doms and subs bring to scenes, and those can change the scene more than the choice of physical acts that will occur in that scene.
I say this to newbies to the scene because they tend to have a narrow view of the motivations and needs that bring people to D/s, biased by both the newbie's own preferences and the depictions of D/s they've seen in media. The same is true of people who write kink fic. Kink fic is very biased to a narrow subset of the wide range of emotional needs that people might bring to this kind of play.
It's really important to understand this in D/s IRL because a mismatch or miscommunication about these needs can lead to a bad scene. For example, let's take the approaches of sub-as-beloved-pet and sub-as-object. If a dom treats a sub as a beloved pet when what they really want is to be treated like an object, then a sub who went into a scene needing to be ignored, or at the very least the illusion of being ignored and disregarded, is suddenly in the spotlight of a lot of intense attention and affection. Again, I will note that both of these scenes could potentially involve the same physical acts, just approached differently. Let's say it's a service submission scene where the sub is naked and cleaning the room for the dom. Sub-as-beloved-pet would get frequent praise and lots of patiently repeated instructions, while sub-as-object would get one detailed instruction at the beginning and no reinforcement except a punishment if they get part of the instruction wrong.
I'm going to go through a bunch of different styles of dom and sub, with the emotional needs that underlie them. This list is not exhaustive. I'm sure there's more I haven't thought of or encountered, so feel free to reblog with additions. It may also be a bit dom-biased because I'm a dom, but I think that might be for the best, because the emotional needs of doms are generally less understood than those of subs.
Various consensual kinks discussed below. Kinkshamers in the notes will be blocked with extreme prejudice.
Dom-as-control: This may seem obvious or even trivial, but it shouldn't be dismissed: many doms are motivated by an emotional need to have some part of their life where they have total control over what is going to happen. Something that I love about this style of domination is that I always know exactly what will happen next (except if there's some emergency, safeword, or other issue to address.) There are no wild cards in a controlled D/s scene except for those I explicitly allow (like if I ask a sub to choose which whip I'll beat them with.) This is also a reason why I personally have a very hard time switching; I have difficulty with the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen next. It should be noted that this style of domination is fairly incompatible with the bratty style of submission, as the brat is constantly throwing wild cards into the scene.
Sub-as-blankspace: The other side of this coin is the sub who needs to not have to think anymore. They've spent all day deciding what to wear and what to eat and which toothpaste to buy and they just want to stop. This is a very common motivator. This sub needs specific and clear commands from a dom, without too many steps, or else needs to have a well-established protocol of kneeling and service that they can do by pure muscle memory. This sub does not want the dom to offer them a choice of whips they can be beaten with, because that forces them out of the blissful blankspace of not needing to choose.
Dom- or sub-as-service: The same emotional need can sometimes motivate domination or submission! Many people dom or sub out of a desire to please their partner. It's about taking on a defined role that you know will meet your partner's needs. It feels good to be needed, after all. This motivation for D/s is generally the best understood by the public, especially as a motivation for doms. It's generally more socially acceptable to want to control and torment people if you're doing it selflessly in order to please them. A big part of my motivation for making this speech to people, and for writing this post, is to point out that this is far from the only style of domination, and pleasing their subs is far from the only emotional need that doms might have.
Dom-as-whumper: I'm using this terminology because of the website I'm on. I'm not into whumpfic, but I recognize in people who have a visceral need to see their blorbos whimpering and bleeding the same need I have to tear apart a cute kitten with my bare hands, or to crush a sub beneath my booted foot. It's the cuteness aggression approach to domination: sometimes your sub is so cute your hands itch with the urge to destroy them. This is where domination and sadism bleed into each other; this style of domination does not work well for the sub who wants to submit without being hurt or humiliated.
Sub-as-object: Subs who like to be treated as furniture, robots, or objects are often motivated by a need to enjoy a sexual or kink situation while being free of attention and scrutiny. Obviously, some baseline level of attention is needed for BDSM safety; the dom needs to be able to notice if the sub is injured or upset. But beyond that baseline, it can feel very freeing for a sub to be turned on, blissed out in subspace, crying, drooling, whatever, without anyone closely watching or listening to them, so long as they fulfill whatever their purpose as an object is.
Sub- or dom-as-flex: Both doms and subs can be motivated by a need to feel competent. I definitely feel awesomely powerful and competent when I do a style of domination that requires specialized skill, such as hypnosis. Submission can also provide a feeling of competence: look how long I was able to stay kneeling on the hard floor! Look how perfectly I cleaned the room, exactly as Mistress told me to do it!
Dom-as-troll (or mad scientist): The sibling to this kind of dom is the writer who thinks "wouldn't it be fucked up if....?" and then writes a freaky nasty little horror story about it. A great thing about D/s is that you can have a thought like "wouldn't it be fucked up if I tied up my sub and then ate their favorite snack right in front of them?" and then you can just do it (provided you know your sub likes to be tied up and tormented.) Then you can find out how your sub would react to your terrible ideas and laugh evilly at the results. The emotional need being served here is the goblin part of your brain that wants to break things just to see how they shatter. All you need to do is find someone who wants to be broken.
Sub-as-brat: Brats are often discussed as a single type of sub, but in my experience, there are two rather different emotional needs that drive brats. Some people are brats because they need the assurance that they can act out all they want, and it won't derail the action; the dom is strong or skilled enough to subdue them no matter what nasty tricks their goblin brain gets up to. Other people are brats out of a need to live in a predictable and fair moral universe. Those brats want a very clear system of rules and punishments for those rules. Then they test the rules, and they get meted out exactly the punishment they were promised. Within the world of this scene, the world is fair, and the same misbehavior will always face the same consequences, something that rarely happens in the real world. These types of brats are rather different, because the first kind of brat doesn't care as much if the consequences of their misbehavior are inconsistent, while the second kind cares a lot.
Sub-as-beloved-pet: Or beloved child, if they're an ageplayer. I find that subs that like to be a beloved puppy are driven by an emotional need to be loved, treasured, and supported unconditionally, even if they make mistakes, even if they behave messily or clumsily, even if they look silly, because that's how a good pet owner should treat a pet. There might be discipline involved, but the discipline is very supportive and patient.
Dom-as-nurturer: Some doms are motivated by a need to be in a nurturing role that their non-D/s life may not allow them to fulfill. For example, a man who wants to express affection and tenderness to his partner but has a hard time doing so because of the way he was raised may be able to unlock that ability if his partner plays a sweet puppy and he's playing the puppy's doting owner. Basically, the D/s scene creates a little world and a set of roles in which it's expected and normal for the dom to be nurturing, even if that's not true for the dom outside of that scene.
Dom-as-enfant-terrible: The other side of the coin is a dom who needs to be in a role where they can be unreasonable, demanding, and selfish, a role that their non-D/s life may not allow them to fulfill. For example, a mother who spends all day thinking about her family's needs may relish the opportunity to center her own desires without worrying if she's being "too much." She can be impatient and fussy and demand the sub do things over and over until she's satisfied, all of which she can't do when she's working as a teacher or other caring role.
Dom-as-artist: I think this is a hugely under-appreciated motivator for doms. Many have a need to be creative and imaginative that they fulfill through domination. I've been to workshops and demos at kink conventions where I've been awed by another dom's fiendish creativity. I once watched a hypno dom with a sub who got off on being afraid, and he hypnotized her and crafted an extremely elaborate horror scene in the room, filling it with menacing shadows and phantasms. This is where I'm contractually obligated to link A Dom DM because this is where domination overlaps a lot with game running and game design.
Sub-as-aesthetic-object: The flip side of this coin is that many subs enjoy being an aesthetic object or canvas for a dom's art. Very often these are subs chasing a need to feel beautiful, or at least enjoyable to look at. Subs who want to be aesthetic objects may enjoy wearing special outfits during scenes, or being posed in sexy or appealing positions. Subs in this kind of scene may enjoy letting go of worrying about whether they look good to the dom, because the dom is shaping them to their own preferred aesthetic, whether that's via poses, makeup, shibari, or something else.
Sub-as-sexual-creature: A lot of subs enjoy being called sluts, offered up for free use, or otherwise being hypersexualized. Why is that? Well, our society has a lot of shame and repression around sex, and it can feel much easier to relax and enjoy sex if it's couched in the fantasy that you have no choice because you've been reduced to a purely sexual creature. The sub has an emotional need to give up responsibility for choosing to have sex and be sexual, because that responsibility is a heavy weight to carry.
Dom- or sub-as-taboo-breaker: This is a huge motivator for both doms and subs. We all live in a society, and sometimes we feel a need to break the rules of that society. Both domination and submission provide opportunities to do so. It's taboo to piss yourself as an adult, but a watersports scene creates a space where it is acceptable or even desirable for a sub to break that taboo. As a dom, I personally get a huge taboo-breaking thrill from slapping a sub across the face. There's something about the sheer disrespect of it, and the memory of being scolded for doing it as a child, that fills me with impish glee.
Dom-as-hunter/sub-as-prey: For the hunter to catch the prey, there must first be a chase, or at the very least an ambush. This need not be a literal chase (we sent physical acts out of the room, remember?) but it is a dynamic to hunter/prey-flavored BDSM: the hunter has to earn it. This fulfills an emotional need for both dom and sub: a dom who struggles with feelings of unworthiness can feel like they've earned their partner's submission, and a sub can feel that the dom cares enough to put in the effort to catch them. Hunter/prey also allows dom and sub to explore some pretty dark emotions within the safety of consensual kink, such as fear, obsession, and consumption.
Dom-as-shadow: I mean shadow here in the sense of shadow work. Many doms take inspiration from people who bullied them in school (and many subs enjoy re-enacting scenes of childhood bullying in a safe and consensual context.) There is a real emotional need served by claiming the power of those bullies for yourself. Those childhood cruelties can be utterly transformed by the change of context. For example, the catty whispers and sneers of straight girls who bullied me for being queer comes out very different when I perform those same catty sneers as a genderfucky adult.
Sub-as-lesser-being: While some subs like to be beloved pets, and others like to be disregarded objects, some like to be pond scum. There can be a real freedom that comes from occupying a role of being disgusting and horrible. Nothing good or useful can be expected of you, and nothing you do will ever earn praise, and so you're free from worrying about or pursuing any of those things. Sub-as-lesser-being is also a space to explore difficult emotions like shame and humiliation in a safe context.
Serving Alpha Men from the lowest rung of the hierarchy is not about pretending you are something you are not, it is about knowing exactly where you belong and feeling grounded in it.
Knowing you are not His equal in power and never meant to be, your place is below in service and obedience and in the quiet satisfaction of being owned by purpose rather than status
An Alpha Man stands at the top without trying, He does not need permission or reassurance, His authority is natural and effortless and unquestioned, and you respond to that from your knees as a slave, as a fag who understands his role is not to lead but to follow cleanly and without ego, you do not compete with Him, you offer yourself to Him
Your value lies in usefulness, in obedience, and in how well you listen, how quickly you adjust, and how deeply you surrender your will to His. You are not erased, but you are deliberately made smaller. Your wants come after His, your pride comes from pleasing Him, and your identity tightens around the truth of your position
There is a quiet dignity in being low in the hierarchy when it is chosen; you are not weak, you are placed beneath His strength and beneath His authority, exactly where you ache to be.
one-sided monogamy (aka natural monogamy or traditional monogamy)
you are His property. He strictly forbids you from having intimate contact with anyone other than Him. your sexuality is entirely focused on His pleasure and satisfaction.
He is the Man, and as such He has the natural right to fuck whoever He chooses, without restrictions
As you were on the floor massaging sniffing kissing and worshiping your Boss' sweaty smelly dress socked feet after work hours in his office yet again, you realized that you saw way more of him this way than any other. In fact, you're convinced that if you were on the floor and couldn't look up, and there was a line of men sitting there with their shoes off, that just by look and smell you'd be able to pick out your Boss' stinking socked feet. Not a day went by when this wasn't your view. He didn't even have to tell you to do it anymore. Whenever you walk into his office if his shoes are off, you get down on the floor. He told you that's why he hired you, a faggot, as his administrative assistant. He said there were much more competent people than you, all women, but he hired you because he knew you were a faggot and he knew that he could manipulate you and humiliate and degrade you for his own sadistic fun. And he could also take advantage of you and make you work long nights doing the tedious parts of his job while he would go out drinking with his executive buddies or spending time with his wife and kids. You were starting to spend more time as his fag sock slave than you were as his administrative assistant. He'd even started to make you suck him off a few times a week. But he said you would always first and foremost be his faggot sock sniffing slave, and to reinforce that he made sure that your face had contact with his sweaty smelly dress socked feet at least once a day. Occasionally he made you come into work on Saturdays, and while he worked and made conference calls, he made you lay under his desk and used your face as his footstool rubbing those dirty smelly socked feet that he been wearing all week all over your face. Those weekend work days went unpaid of course. And you had to thank him.
View of your Dad every day when he got home from work when you were in middle and high school. He said if you were gonna act like a faggot then he was gonna humiliate you like one. So he turned you into his sock slave until you actually liked it, in fact sniffing and smelling and worshiping a man's sweaty sock feet ended up being the only thing that could get you off. So when you went off to college and out into the world, he knew you would be desperately begging men to sniff their sweaty socked feet and being turned down again and again and living in frustration. He thought you deserved that sort of agony as a faggot. And he was probably right. So you ended up spending your hard earned money paying straight guys/cash masters to sniff their sweaty socked feet for 15 or 20 minutes at a time because you were desperate and wanted to live those days at your father's stinking socked feet.