I just wanna dedicate this post to a man. A man so dear and so amazing to me. That from every other thing chose me instead of himself. That person is God. He lived, He died, He rose again on high.
Well, what can I really say about myself? Personally, without God I think I would have picked up bad habits, feel unloved, feel unwanted, have no dreams, desires, goals and would just waste my time. WAITING, for some God sent love. I used to be that way. I really did. I would just waste my days sleeping it away. Thinking no one loved me that everyone hates me that my life is such a mess. Without God I was such a nervous little sucker. I would be SOOOOOO low on confidence that I would be sad all the time and stuff. I would be emo and will cry at nights worried that I had no future no hope and no life. I honestly would have killed myself if I had went down that road.
Thank God, for his love. John 3:16 For God SO loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I used to think well, God is a powerhouse. WHY in the world would he die just to save us? If he had wanted, he could have just snapped his fingers. WAVED OFF OUR SINS right? After all, he is God. BUT why? Why would he even die? Because of his LOVE for us. You see, God isn’t a God of just SAYING but doing. We humans need to see it to believe it. Need to feel it to believe that he loves. When Jesus died, IT WAS A MESSAGE for all of us. God puts us FIRST in his mind. He was telling all of us I WOULD DIE FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU. If you’d simply believe in my love, I’d rescue you from all that guilt of sin. All that burden of pain. All of it I’ll bring it upon myself. JUST to see you set free.
My God didn’t just love us. He SOOOOOOOO loved us. As screwed up as this world is, I refuse to give up on it, because I can’t give up and stop loving what my God died for. God may be a God of power BUT his true power is love. Agape love to be exact. It means an all consuming love. The kind that I would willing to be able to give my life up JUST FOR YOU, even if you were the only one left on earth. In all his power he would see you succeed rather than himself. God may be powerful but I don’t love him for his power. I love him because he first loved me.
My life was really screwed up before as I said. In primary school all i could think about was Dynasty warriors LOL. (thats how lubu525 came about BTW). Anyway, I felt super duper unloved. Unliked. I was often bullied as a child and became a bully myself. I was crying out for something but I didn’t know what. I was always from a Christian school YET I always missed out on the thing that would eventually give me life. God. I was already emotionally dead. But THEN. I one day out of all my frustrations, loneliness, anger and all the bloody feelings i had inside, I just cried out with all my heart. I cried to God, WHY?! Why is my life like this. Why am I all alone. Why must you put me with asses that don’t give a crap about me? Then a peace came upon me. Not an overwhelming power. Just a peace that I don’t know. I never felt before. I just felt LOVED. A verse came into my heart. It was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know that plans that I have for you, declares the lord, Plans to prosper you and NOT to harm you, Plans to give you a hope and a future.” That’s when I stopped worrying I started believing. In the message bible, It actually translates the verse as ” I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.” So then I trusted God for my future. No matter where I go nowadays THIS is my anchor verse. I KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING IS GOOD FOR ME. That’s my reply. But still I felt a little sad. I was like GOD WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME? WHY DOES NO ONE CARE? Then God said READ ON TO JEREMIAH 29:12. Which says “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’LL LISTEN.” By then I was already in tears and sobbing my eyes out.
For the people reading this, I have a million and one verses (not really but i do have a lot) in the bible that says that God loves me, he will be there for me when i fall, when i walk through storms he will be there beside me. But most importantly, I give him praise every single day. Because he loves me. When I was crying everyday at home when no one saw he was there. When I had bronchitis in primary school he was there. Even when all the way back when i was 6 when my parents had a divorce. He was there. He was always there. He was always beside me, giving me hope and strength. I just didn’t accept it because I didn’t think I’d need it. I didn’t think I was broken. But friends, truth is even if we like it or not. We are all broken, we are all sinners. We all feel left out or unloved sometimes. But the truth is this because we are broken. We all can be fixed. We all can be loved. By the one person who saved me as well. Jesus. All Jesus is saying when he said believe in me was that, let me in. Let me help you and fix you because I know you can’t do it on your own. I know you can’t do it all alone because you aren’t perfect. Please let me in. I love you and I want to help.
That was my God’s cry to humanity. All I did was respond and said. I believe you can help. I believe you can save me. Please do. I believe in you. That my friends was how I was truly saved. Now whenever I have problems. I look to God. I trust the one I love. I’d give it all for his kingdom. I love my GOD. All glory and praise to him. Forever and ever. Amen.
This was my post about 5 months back. When i was feeling lousy about myself. It really helped me again and I thought i should just give this a reblog.
