Delinquent Days || ft. Deuce Spade
“Deuce was hellbent on flipping his life around for the sake of his mother. But just how would he react when someone from his old gang just so happened to be at the same school as him?”
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
“But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.”
• He’d initially spotted you amongst the sea of other students at the opening ceremony- figures blending into one mass of black and purple except for you. Even though you were clad in the same robes as everyone else you’d been spotted with ease; something familiar he subconsciously locked onto. There was no feeling of relief to wash over him and calm his nerves though. If anything your appearance brought about a gut wrenching feeling to stir inside his stomach and make sweat bead on his palms. No, the sight of you brought about the exact opposite reaction you’d believe it to. Seeing you brought memories inside of his brain he had desperately tried to burry like a wound he believed he was able to close if he ignored it enough up to the surface again.
• Everything seemed to resurface in those moments and the guilt and shame that bloomed in his heart was overwhelming. The red head beside him was quick to notice the flip in demeanor and questioned him about it. That’s when he finally broke his prolonged staring on your form and promptly lost you whenever the chaos which is Grim made its arrival.
• And so from that point onward he avoided you. It was an unconscious action decided for him by his brain; avoid the thorn bush and you won’t get pricked. He attempted to carry on with his schoolwork and keeping up the new persona he desperately wished to embody. He had to be good, he just had to. There was no other logical choice for him at this point, and cutting ties with his past completely would only put him in the right direction. At least he chose to believe so.
• It proved to be more difficult than he believed, truthfully attempting to ignore you as if you were a stain on a rug he didn’t want to clean up yet. He wasn’t sure if you were completely stalking his every move or if it was pure coincidence when he found himself turning a corner with you just so happening to do the same. Either way he kept his resolve strong and avoided any eye contact after that split second of spotting you.
• It wasn’t as if this behavior went unnoticed by you. No, you weren’t dumb and were used to having to be aware of every little detail in any given situation. The whole thing left a sour taste on your tongue but you’d bitten back the angry words you once would’ve let poison others back. You had to constantly remind yourself that you wanted to change, and any slip up would set you back further than you would like. Yet, that hadn’t meant you’d sit back and be disrespected by someone you once knew regardless of what your relationship was like back then. And maybe if you pulled it off correctly.. you could use it as a growing moment for yourself. To prove that you’re better than your older self.
“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”
• It was lunchtime when you opted to strike, the buzz coming from the students around you filling your ears. Your eyes danced around the tables as you searched for that familiar blue haired boy. Once locked onto him you had to do a double take, brain still struggling to catch up to the fact he no longer had that bleached blond hair with only a bit of his natural color showing through. Other people seemed to crowd around him, one red-haired boy following on his tail like a baby duckling following after its mama.
• Remaining confident on the outside you made your way to the table. One spot was conveniently open next to the green haired boy accompanying them, and wordlessly you sat down as if you belonged there. They’d turned to face you, and even though you could feel sweat form on your brow you were immediately relieved when they acknowledged you without any bite.
• Deuce was oddly quiet, mannerisms showcasing he was nervous and yet backed into a corner he didn’t really know what to do. Perhaps he was too stunned at just your sudden presence to use common sense and simply excuse himself for a moment. Either way that’s when you rested your cheek against the ball of your palm as you relaxed into the new environment before asking:
• “Deuce? You alright?” Ace raised an eyebrow at that and the boy you were talking to flinched like cold water had been thrown at him. “You know each other?” You nodded your head silently. “Mhm, me and him are good friends. Just.. wanting to check up on him. You know?” Mentally fighting to not get snappy remembering the fact he’d been outright ignoring you, you sat up a little straighter and stared at the boy waiting for a response.
• He blinked. You blinked. And you could practically hear the gears in his mind starting up and suddenly he felt so.. guilty. Had he been too quick to assume you were the same person you were before? That you just had to have something out for him? Absolutely. And that was so difficult to admit mentally to himself as you stared at him with curiosity in your eyes. Not attempting to make him feel bad or judge him. Just wondering. Like catching up with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while and wanting to know just about everything new.
• “I-I’m fine. How have you, uhm, been?” Sevens he needed to get it together.
• “Just fantastic. Hey, you don’t mind if I steal him away for a bit, do you guys? I mean I haven’t had a chance to talk to him in a while so..” Of course you were met with plenty of approval and so without a further word you practically snagged the boy from his seat and wandered off so you could both talk one on one.
• Maybe you’d be able to fix your relationship with one another. Or maybe not. It never killed anyone to try, though. And dammit would you at least try.
“ A big part of who I am is who I’m not.”
• It’d happened again. You’d lost your temper for some reason you couldn’t even properly recall at this moment. It was something idiotic more than likely anyway. Yet that didn’t stop you from snapping and although no physical damage was done, you were positive screaming and degrading them wasn’t the best outcome either. And you felt utterly awful for that. They’d scampered away before you could even apologize to them, the look on their face telling of how hurt they were by you. Now you stood outside, breathing in the fresh air while trying to will yourself not to cry.
• Inside your heart you felt selfish to cry in this moment. After all, you weren’t the one who had gotten yelled at. But the shame you felt towards yourself was sharp and threatened to gut you. Giving into the emotions you sat yourself down and scrunched your legs up to your chest and hid your face away against your knees. There was no telling when the first tear fell. Hell, you hadn’t even realized you were crying until you felt the dampness on your skin. At least you were in an area people rarely come by. If someone were to see you like this you wouldn’t know what exactly to do with yourself.
• And like the world wanted to laugh at your misery you heard footsteps approaching. If you went silent would they go away? You doubted it and yet tried anyway. Oddly enough the sound disappeared but a feeling that someone was looking at you began creeping up into your mind. Too strong to ignore and so hesitantly you peaked your head up just to see.. Deuce.
• “Oh. Uhm. Fuck, dude..” Digging the balls of your palm into the corners of your eyes you tried to get rid of the evidence of your previous sob session.
• “Were you crying..?” His head cocked to the side and you swallowed down the thick not in your throat.
• “I..” Fuck you couldn’t say it. It was embarrassing enough in the moment trying to explain it seemed even more like a challenge. And yet he remained exactly where he was with a concerned look.
• Sucking in a shaky breath you finally cracked after a moment and poured out what had happened. Some parts you were more hesitant to tell than others but it all eventually came out all the same.
• “I feel awful.” You croaked, running your hands over your face. “I- They didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been trying so hard and it’s.. it’s getting me nowhere! I want to change I really do but I keep screwing it up so bad and I don’t know- don’t know what I need to do.” The confession from you hit him harder than he expected.
• And in that moment he saw exactly who you were like the mask hiding your identity was finally ripped away. A child who had nowhere to belong and desperately just wanted somewhere to be welcomed. It hadn’t mattered how, it just needed to happen. Didn’t matter what they would need to do to prove themselves to be worthwhile and not chased away. How it would affect them and the people around them as long as they believed they had something to lean back on. People to lean back on. And that desperation had led them down the worst path possible that they were trying so hard to break away from now. And maybe, just maybe he saw himself in you.
• He’d stood there in silence for far too long. Ungracefully he knelt down to where you were and silently wrapped his arms around you in a hug. The embrace was foreign to you. Especially coming from him. And yet you couldn’t help but wail as you leaned against him, greedily chasing that comforted feeling that had never truly been felt before inside you.
• “You’ll need to apologize.” He murmured and you sniffled in response with a hum of acknowledgment. You knew you did. I mean It’d be ridiculous to think you wouldn’t have to. And as his arms began to loosen their grip you wiped away the stray tears from your eyes and did exactly what you needed to do.
“If softness was weakness the flowers would never grow.”
• You and Deuces relationship from that point on changed significantly. Both of you nurtured it and watched as it grew into something you never even imagined would have the possibility to bloom in the past. And it was admittedly a pleasant experience to say the least accomplishing the once thought to be impossible. You saw him as a genuine companion, someone who would always have your back and he has yours.
• Of course there are rough patches but you stick through it regardless. You might get pricked by the thorns but the roses beauty is worth it nonetheless. All you try to do is remind one another that the other isn’t alone. Even if a mistake is made you can acknowledge it and grow from it. Healing never has been a straightforward process, and it never would be. But having someone there truly makes it worth it. Especially someone who understands exactly what your struggles are and relates to them on a way most people don’t.
• A genuine smile played on your face whenever Deuce confided in you about his feelings and struggles, unraveling before you and trusting you wouldn’t tangle him all up. And a smile is what you received back as you handled him with such extraordinary care that he couldn’t possibly wait to do the same for you. Whenever those times would come, he felt accomplished. Not only because he himself was changing, but because he was able to help change you as well. Two people helping one another grow into the best person they could possibly be. And neither of you would want it any other way.
