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justcallmegrace

luciamor-blog

winter at the Palace of Versailles.

fuckyeahfashioncouture

KriKor Jabotian Haute Couture Fall-Winter 2014

12/17

It's raining hard, it's cold outside, and it's already 1 AM.

My first final is tonight at 7 PM. I'm a mixture of stress, worry, and frustration. I'm sitting here in bed with my computer, trying to force information into my head, and trying to memorize over 100 theorems. But nothing is working.

Twenty minutes ago, I came across a picture of us and just started crying. I am still sobbing. My heart broke into a million pieces. For a while now, I've pushed this feeling aside. Whenever I missed you or whenever I picked up my phone to text you, I just put it back down. When I see pictures of you, I just long to hear your voice or to hug you one more time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me, and I'm sorry that I wasn't everything you needed/wanted in a friend. For my own safety (i.e., stalker for the last few months), I got a new number and didn't give it out to anybody except my family and boyfriend. But I don't need to ask you for your number because I have it memorized like I have had since junior high. I feel so terrible and so lost. We both said things to each other that hurt each other, and we got lost somewhere along the way. I miss you. I just wanted to let you know. You are such a beautiful soul, and I want you to know that that is my memory of you. A kind, gentle, and loving companion and the best friend who strung me along for so many years. I hope you don't hate me. I know everything ended terribly. In fact, it shouldn't have ended at all. But things happen and life goes on.

I'm not sure you'll read this, but if you do, yes. It's about you. I still love you so.

Leighton

Mount Rainier National Park, Kevin Russ

moonbeam--mama

this is unbelievably gorgeous

“There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.”

lumiant

How much do you work a week? And how many units do you have? What do you do there?

I work 40 hours a week and am taking 16 units here at Berkeley. I work in business operations and strategy, specifically for sales and data quality.

My handsome sweetheart.. Fourteen months ago we brought him home and he joined our family. I hate when people discriminate just because of his breed. Dog racism is really a thing. I took him to the dog beach and a man told us to go home because he was a pit bull and pit bulls are just bad news. He swung a shovel at my innocent and happy pup-and then again at my boyfriend when he got upset. He will be playing with other pups and when I say he's a pit, they grab their dogs and run away. My dog has only ever gotten attacked by labs, golden retrievers, maltese, and chihuahuas.. The only thing he has ever attacked is his own tail or a stick. Be aware-don't look stupid by making stupid comments about a breed you know nothing about.

He's the sweetest baby and will fall asleep in your lap snoring if you give him a chance.

#pitbull #berkeley #dog #my baby #dont bully my breed

toothpastelove

lacigreen

The romantic soulmate is only one aspect of this notion.

Never forget that.

catching up

I haven't really blogged in months..

so here's a catch up.

I have been going to school and also working 25+ hours a week at Dropbox. It's exhausting and challenging. I'm 19 years old, juggling a notoriously difficult major and a demanding job. But it is so rewarding. So. Rewarding. I love what I do. I love waking up and dealing with the crazies on Bart at 7:30 AM. I love feeling the freezing SF morning air. I love the good and the bad. I feel so proud that I have accomplished so much in such a short time.

I'm healthier than ever. I am slowly getting off meds that were helping with my blood issues. I eat a ton and work out a ton. I power lift 4 times a week. I don't deprive myself of any food. I eat whatever I want and just make up for it in the gym. If I eat a cookie, I'll just do one more set to feel better about it. I've learned that it's not the number on the scale that matters. It's just how my clothes fit that matters! I'm still the same weight I was in July when I began lifting heavy-but now I'm slimmer with tons of muscle. My pants fit awesome. Muffin tops no more!

I'm happy. My relationship is great and my dog is the sweetest creature that brings so much happiness to my life. My parents and I have a strong relationship. My sister is my absolute best friend. I've lost a lot of close friends in the last few months. But I'm not sure if "lost" or "grown apart from" fits better. It's been tough to get through with it, but it's just life, I guess.

I am in such a good place now. I feel so strong, so independent, and so supported.

#personal