She is beautiful. He has always thought that. At first he didn’t find her attractiveness more special than any other pretty face he saw daily, but after all those years his appreciation for everything she beheld only grew. Like right now.
She is leaning on a kitchen island searching for a recipe of some kind. Her golden hair is shining under morning’s bright light. It seems so soft and frames her angular face like a painting. Her face is indeed a work of art. Her hands turn the pages of the book so gracefully. He hasn’t noticed that before, although he knows very well how gentle those hands can be. She is wearing her sweet 36 birthday present. The bullet necklace. He feels how breathing becomes harder to do.
Suddenly she lifts her gaze from the cookbook and looks straight into Lucifer’s eyes. Hers are grey and a little annoyed, yet playful. His all body tenses up. No matter how many times he has gone through this it always affects him. Especially now.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you coming here and lend your hand? You know more about cooking than I do,” she says, brushing away a strand of hair from her face.
“I would like to help too!” a young voice calls behind Lucifer. He turns around seeing a little girl running towards the kitchen while rolling up her sleeves. She climbs on a kitchen stool next to Chloe, who lets her daughter examine for the perfect recipe. Chloe chuckles and girl smiles brightly. They both glow. They feel so full of life. He is aching everywhere, his heart is bounding and it takes all his will power to not lose balance.
Chloe directs her attention back to Lucifer. “Well? Are you planning to join us?”, she says. She smiles. Just like her daughter.
“I would like nothing more.”
Lucifer isn’t sure who said that. The voice sounded way too choked and broken to possibly be his, but after seeing Chloe’s reaction he realizes that it was indeed him who had spoken.
Chloe’s expression is now one of worry:” Lucifer? Is everything alright?”. He wants to say that it is, he wants to put up a smile and join them. He wants it more than anything else, but he knows that he simply can´t.
When he doesn’t respond to the blond woman leaves the kitchen and comes to stand right in front of him. Beatrice observes everything from behind. She really was a great child. Why it took him so long to see this?
“Lucifer, look at me!” Chloe demands. He slowly shifts his gaze from the child onto someone he finds hardest to look at. He can´t do the eyes, but he can do the lips. He knows how soft they are. What he would give to kiss them one more time. A weak smile touches his mouth corner for a moment
”Lucifer, please talk to me!” now it’s a plea. He finally looks her in the eyes. He can’t resist. He raises his hand to softly caress her cheek. He finds her confusion adorable. Another small thing to treasure later. The skin under his hand feels so warm, so real. He knows he is powerless and there is nothing he can do about it. So he stops trying.
Chloe’s eyes widen. She reaches her hand towards his face, but Lucifer stops her. “Leave them,” he whispers. “Why are you crying ?” she asks.
“Because I want it to be real.”
“What do you want to be real?”
“This. Everything you see and feel around yourself,” he gestures between them and the room surrounding them. Chloe giggles gently:” I can assure you it’s all real.”
Lucifer shakes his head slowly with a sadness in his every move “No it isn’t,”.
“What do you mean?” Chloe is now even more confused than before. Lucifer gulps. Truth has never been so hard to tell. He cups her left cheek. He wants to feel her while he still can. He breathes in deeply before answering:” It’s all an illusion. Nothing here is real. Not your house, not your living room, not your daughter.” He glances at Beatrice who is scared and just as confused as her mother. He turns back to Chloe: ”Even...” he stops. His hand is trembling against her cheek.
“Even you are not real,” he finally manages to say.
The reaction he gets for it was not the one he was expecting. Chloe bursts into laughter, but it sounds off with disbelief and slight panic in it. “You are joking, right? Do you want to tell me that my whole life and all of my existence is some kind of illusion? That Trixie over there doesn’t exist! And that I don’t exist!” She starts to wave with her hands, directing her anger towards the man before her: ” Well then who do you think you are since you are also supposed to be part of this “illusion”, to come to tell me that everything is just mere mirage of reality! Give me one good reason why I should believe you! Is it because you are the Devil, a freaking fallen angel? Or is it just because you never lie?”
Lucifer feels sorry for her. If only he could make her understand. His insides crush even more when he sees Chloe’s eyes well up: ”It has to be a joke! A cruel, cruel joke! Tell me it is, Lucifer! Tell me!”
He closes the distance between them and cups both sides of her face. He wipes her tears with his thumbs while she searches Lucifer’s dark brown eyes for anything that would confirm her rightness. After a moment Chloe’s shoulders settle down and her hands fall to her sides. She is defeated. A sparkle dims in her eyes and that hurts Lucifer more than anything else possibly could at this moment.
“Why is it so? Why?” she asks quietly. “If only I could answer” he replies with the same sense of defeat as her. He brushes her hair from her face. She is indeed the most beautiful creature he has ever laid his eyes upon.
Beatrice has come to her mother’s side trying to grasp Chloe’s hand with her small ones. Chloe doesn't look at her. She is numb. The sparkle is gone. She isn’t alive.
Lucifer plants a kiss on top of Chloe’s head. That seems to have wakened her a bit because when he draws back she looks at him and says: “It does feel real Lucifer.” Her hand finally closes around her daughter’s. A child’s gaze is also directed to Lucifer. They both stretch their free hands towards him.
Lucifer is choking and his vision is blurring. Oh how much he desires to join them. But he can’t. He never can.
“It does, but it isn’t, my Detective.” With that reply, he waves his ringed hand and everything including the two people the Devil has loved more than anything disappear. He opens the front door before they will become one with the emptiness of the room. He isn’t capable of watching them leave one more time. He closes the door behind him.
Dark blue sky and rain of ash welcome it’s realm’s Lord. The same Lord gasps and collapses onto the ground. Tears are falling down uncontrollably, body shakes and heart aches. Lucifer hugs himself to regain at least some of his control.
“Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”
Lucifer turns his face towards the speaker. After a few painful breaths, he manages to get his voice more or less steady:” I could ask the same thing from you, Mazikeen.”
The demon stands in front of him. She appears to be the complete opposite of Lucifer’s emotional status, but he knows better. She is just as distraught as he is.
For their both surprise none of them answers. Mazikeen instead comes to sit next to Lucifer and looks up at the sky. They say nothing. Slowly Lucifer starts to recollect himself and for the first time Maze waits patiently. When he manages to calm down, he adjusts his position and decides to join Maze in her action. They watch as ash falls like the first snow. It’s mesmerizing and it is exactly what they both need.
After what seems like forever Lucifer breaks the silence between them:” I know it is pure torture, but it’s more bearable than never seeing them again. At least Hell can provide you with this pathetic illusion.”
Another long moment of silence.
“I miss them,” Maze admits, her voice slightly trembling.” More than can ever be put into words,” Lucifer finishes the thought.
Maze turns herself toward him: ”Do you hate Him even more? Now that he has taken everything from you.” Lucifer thinks for a second. His answer is unexpected for both of them: ”Honestly, I am too exhausted for that, besides even if I would want to I couldn’t.”
”Why?” irritated demon demands.
“Because we both know they deserve Heaven. Although Heaven doesn’t deserve them.”
Mazikeen falls back into her position, contemplating over what was said.”They were the best thing to happen to us weren’t they?” she said.
And so the Devil and his Demon sit in hell, torturing themselves with the memories of the past and although it is the utmost agonising of things they could endure, they both know that they would never switch those memories for anything else.
