never coming home

lucinda king. 26 years old. amish.

[lucindaking]

Hey guys! I'm back! There's a whole batch of new members so I'm excited to start interacting with you guys!

For those of you who just joined (or joined during my hiatus), I'm Erica and I play Lucinda as well as James Davenport. If anyone is interested in plotting, message me and we can definitely work something out.

For anyone who is interacting with Luce and James, I'll try to get up a comprehensive list of all my to-do's. Hopefully I can get my replies done soon!

[varsois]

[cderane]

stubborn as a horse | charles and lucinda

[cderane]

“Yes,” was all he said, hands already focused on the task he’d been given, not even looking at her. She probably didn’t even care about him, why should she? It was best if they kept the interactions at a minimum, or else Charles may say something that, while he many not actually regret, may hurt her—and she was the one that’d pay him. Not many people were capable of handling bluntness directed at them, for which he preferred to speak as little as possible, or else he was automatically driven to be the tactless hermit he knew he was. His mind just worked that way, and he didn’t care about anything enough to fix it. He’d lived with it all his life. Why change now?

Now, of all moments, when he felt the bullet wound still vicious in his skin. He fucking despised hospitals, so he had not gone to one, so it’d be entirely his fault if he started struggling while installing the new hinges for the stable’s door. Tracing around the metal joints with a pencil, no matter how slight the movements, was a hassle all of its own, and he clenched his jaw only to relax it instantly. Slow breaths. If he got even more agitated he’d move the steri-strips he’d used on himself. 

[lucindaking]

Lucinda shuffled her feet, unsure whether to leave this man alone or to help him in whatever way she could. She didn't want to bother him more than she already has, but he didn't look okay. In fact, he looked quite terrible, his face pale and his movements limited, and despite everything he still didn't want help. Lucinda wasn't sure if he was being stubborn or if he simply wanted her to go away. She moved out of the stables but before she passed through the threshold, she stopped again and turned around. She was indecisive about everything, but for once, Lucinda wished she could muster up the courage to simply force this man to accept her help. But she's never been a very assertive person. Ever.

Still unsure, the young blond asked once more, "Are you sure you don't want something? I-I could get you water or...anything else you'd like. It's not a bother, really, I don't mind." She could literally taste the irritation radiating from the fixer. He really didn't want her help, but maybe he needed it. And Lucinda felt that the only thing she was good at was helping others.

[kieren-awalker]

I’m not really sure… support is the word I would use. Although in there own ways I guess they do. I would drive myself crazy if I lived alone. I need another people to drive crazy. Yes and no. Time has flown, especially since I graduated college, and yet at the same time it feels like it’s gone very slowly. My life now has started to feel like the only life I’ve ever known, even though it’s only been six and half years since I really left home. I kind of know what you mean. There are changes beyond the physical that make a person… different. 

[lucindaking]

College? May I ask where you went? School has always seemed so interesting to me, especially higher education. My father suggesting taking classes at the local university, but I feel like I'm getting too old. It may sound silly, but I'll definitely be the oldest and the least knowledgeable student there. Where do you come from? I've always wondered what brings people to Alexandria. For me, it was my family, but yours is back at home. I think I prefer who I am now to who I was before. I don't know, is it as easy as that? Can you just prefer one of you over another?

[kieren-awalker]

Family is important, but you can have a family outside of your blood relations, and that’s what I have now. Occasionally, but I honestly I rarely ever think of them. They made their choice, I made mine, and now we both have to live with those choices. Yeah, that’s the right expression. No? How long has it been since you’ve seen her? If you don’t mind my asking. 

[lucindaking]

Well, at least you have people to support you. I don't think I could understand how people live all alone in isolation. It's been three years now, maybe four? And of course I don't mind. It's just...hard to believe it's been that long? Do you ever feel like time flies far too quickly? I'm not even sure. I mean, I look the same and everything, but I think I've changed since I left. Sometimes my father looks at me and mentions how different I seem.

[cderane]

stubborn as a horse | charles and lucinda

The drive had been quite an effort in his injured state but he could not care less. As far as he knew, he felt fine; he’d taken the medicines and applied the proper attention to the cuts and the bullet sting, and that was all there was to that night he dreaded so badly. He’d updated the security system for the shop but still felt worried of not being there at night, in case the brats came back. 

But working would take his mind off his annoying thoughts, he was certain. “I was called for the stable a horse damaged, miss King.” Charles said straightaway, eyeing the place. “And any other issues you may have.” It was slightly hard to move with the covered bruises still stinging, the painkillers not doing much to help his case. It made him particularly cranky and less prone to talking more than the bare necessary. Truth be told, he wouldn’t talk beyond the words he’d just uttered unless absolutely required. His mood not being the best was an understatement. 

[lucindaking]

So, perhaps her day wasn't going as she had hoped, but she still tried to keep her positive attitude. Lucinda sat slumped against the broken stable, absentmindedly picking at the grass and keeping an eye on the horses roaming the fields below. Since the stables needed fixing, there would be no riding today; instead, she was the one responsible for watching over the horses. She had hoped to ride her worries away. There was nothing like feeling the wind on her face or watching the world pass in a blur to make the young blond feel better. She sighed and waved the mosquitoes away from her face before the low voice of a stranger shook her from her thoughts. Lucinda jumped up immediately.

"Oh, hello! Yes, it's right here, this one," she said. She guided him into the dim, cool stable. "Our new Mustang kicked the door off and a hole in the back, so we, uh, were hoping for it to be fixed by night. I mean, it's probably okay for the horses to sleep out during the summer, but sometimes we get kids around and it's never good to leave the horses unattended. But if-if it takes a little longer than that, we completely understand." Lucinda felt bad for rambling in front of the man, especially since he seemed like a rather taciturn person. The way he moved gingerly, it seemed like he was hurt, and she couldn't help but notice a little cuts on his face and bare skin. Biting the corner of her lip before speaking, she asked quietly, "Hey, are you...okay?"

[lucindaking]

☮ - friendship headcanon

Friendship. Lucinda never had many friends back in her community, especially with her mother's burdens hanging over her head. She grew up in isolation and saw the horses as her closest confidantes. It was strange to think of a horse as a friend; after all, a horse couldn't respond. But silence came with its own benefits. Lucinda couldn't bear her neighbor's glances or their whispers behind closed doors. Even if they acted like they were friends, she could easily sense their discomfort. Perhaps that was the reason why she didn't make friends easily now. Still, it was easier to talk to people here. Many of the people in Alexandria were far more approachable than she expected, making it her shyness the only factor holding her back.

Friendship was the one thing that Lucinda wanted but never really had. Nothing, besides family, was as important as friendship. The loyalty, dedication, and trust that came with being friends were hard work to some, but it was just what the young blond wanted.

[lucindaking]

ൠ + ★

Random headcanon: Likes/Dislikes. There were many things Lucinda loved, many more than she disliked, that’s for sure. Open fields and wisps of clouds. Cooking, riding horses, eating dinner with her father. She liked the smell of pumpkin candles and the hot, scalding water when she took a bubble bath. Lucinda loved the smell of freshly cut grass in the cool breeze drifting through her bedroom window. It took a lot for her to dislike something, and she found that she hated only specific things. She hated the stares and whispers of people when she first came to Alexandria or the feeling that she didn’t fit in.

Sad (continued). The saddest day of her life would have to be the day she left her little Amish community. Of course, she never knew it at the time, but it hit her hard once she was alone in her room. There was nothing like loneliness to make someone truly reflect. There had been some foolish, naive impression that she could return once she explored the world, a false notion that influenced her to leave so quickly that she never said a real goodbye. Now she knew though. Lucinda was never going home.

[lucindaking]

★

Sad. Sadness? Sure, Lucinda often found herself prone to sad and nostalgic thoughts. The rolling hills, the open skies—it were the little things that she missed, but most of all, she yearned for her mother. However, her days were packed and she was always busy with the horses that she never noticed her sadness. It was an emotion that she could never give into, for once she allowed herself to long for home, she wouldn’t be able to stop. Returning was not an option, so why would Lucinda feel sad? There was nothing that she could change, and her mother always told her to never worry over what she couldn’t control.

[kieren-awalker]

As long as you had someone around. Then again you can’t blame your friends for things like you can blame your siblings. Ah… we, my parents and I, just had a bit of a falling out. I guess in a way it is tragic, but it’s life. As for reconnecting, there isn’t any point now. I’m so different from how I was and doubtless they are so different as well. It wouldn’t be the same and my sisters talking to me would just make my parents angry. 

[lucindaking]

I'm sorry. It's always hard to reconnect, especially after a while. I suppose I understand. You don't want to go back, you don't want that disappointment, so you keep telling yourself that "there's no point," until you really believe it. But no matter how hard it is, I think family is still important. Don't you miss them? I-I shouldn't be saying any of this. We're on the same boat, you and I. That is the correct expression, right? My mother wouldn't even recognize who I am now.

[lucindaking]

♥ - family headcanon

Family. Lucinda was truly blessed to have her family supporting her and loving her they way that they did. After all, who could be closer to her than her own blood? There was her mother, a sweet, quiet, unassuming woman. Lucinda can still remember her mother's charming melody, as she sang away her nightmares. Every single time she breathed in the untainted fresh air of the countryside or felt the muscles of her horse shift underneath, Lucinda thought of her. Lucinda got her own physical characteristics and quiet disposition from her mother. They shared the same blond locks and petite stature, but Lucinda’s pale green eyes, those she got from her father. Her father was as kind as her mother, yet he was different in that he was louder, more assertive, and far more humorous. He spoke with a confidence that Lucinda admired; his conviction reached into the very fibers of his being. That was something that she didn't inherit.

Lucinda didn't truly see her father's family as truly her own. Of course she'd never admit it to anyone, especially not her father, who had been nothing but wonderful. It had gotten better, though. Her stepmother had not been accepting of Lucinda in the beginning, but has grown kinder through the years. And her stepsister, still thinking her ways were strange, they had some fun times together. Lucinda never expected a place within her father's new family, as she is a proof of his "adventures" while still young. Sometimes she would hear a sense of nostalgia in her father's voice when he talked about her mother, and she wondered if he still held her in his heart.

It had been a while since she received a letter from her mother. Usually the replies were constant, usually every month or so, but there hasn't been anything from Pennsylvania recently. Lucinda woke up every day to an empty mailbox. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to handle the disappointment or anticipation. Returning to her community seemed impossible, but Lucinda would bear the whispers and disdain if she could see her mother once again.

[lucindaking]

■

House. A two story, spacious white building, Lucinda’s house was nothing special. It was situated in a rather quiet neighborhood, filled with older residents, making it mostly quiet and uneventful. With four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, and kitchen, the house had everything that the young blond needed for a comfortable life. She was actually lucky to have found a place near both her father and the horse ranch. Though she has been living in her house for more than three years now, it still didn’t feel like home. It lacked the quality that made it a home—no nicknacks, no personal items, no photographs. If one walked into her house, it would seem as if she just moved in. Maybe it was simply Lucinda, and her inability to accept the fact that she was finally settling down. Maybe she hoped that she could return to Lancaster as easily as she had left.

[rocketcandycouture]

Put a symbol (or several) in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon.

☾ - sleep headcanon

★ - sad headcanon

☆ - happy headcanon

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

♥ - family headcanon

☮ - friendship headcanon

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

▼ - childhood headcanon

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

☼ - appearance headcanon

ൠ - random headcanon

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[kieren-awalker]

I can imagine it would be. I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up being an only child. I…was really close with my younger sister. Honestly I haven’t talked to any of my family in a few years. People say blood is thicker than water… but I think my family missed that memo. 

[lucindaking]

There were many kids my age who lived around me, so I suppose it wasn't so bad after all. But its always nice to have siblings. Oh, I'm...very sorry. What happened? No, it's fine. You don't have to tell me anything. Don't you think that it's worth reconnecting? I mean, you only have one sister, erm, two in your case. I don't mean to overstep here, but that just seems tragic.

[harperdavenport-blog]

Yeah, just like google name meaning and then your name. Or if you go to the grocery store they sell baby name books near the checkout and Lucinda’s popular enough that it’d be there. God, no, I’m the worst damn baker you’ve ever met. But I enjoy eating. 

[lucindaking]

Ah yes, Google, the search engine. It has proved to be really efficient. Really? That's such a shame. May I ask why? Baking is truly fun, although I suppose some people don't really have time for it. Perhaps I can teach you how. It's really easy once you learn, kind of like riding a horse. Or you could come and try some of my food. I mean, only if you want to. You don't have to.

[harperdavenport-blog]

Well, you can always look up the meaning of the name and go from there? Or maybe your parents just thought it was pretty? Oh I think you can handle it. I went to this place on a road trip with my mom once and off the highway they had this little restaurant run by some Amish folks, sold some furniture there too—real nice stuff—but anyway… Do you know how to bake?

[lucindaking]

How brilliant. I think I'll do that tonight. Well...the person to ask would be my mother, but we don't really speak to one another anymore. Oh, well this is a question I can answer! We do bake some things like bread using gas ovens, but if you're talking about sweets and pastries, we don't really bake that kind of food. But I-I do know how to, now that I live here and not...there. Do you enjoy baking?

[harperdavenport-blog]

Everybody’s god baggage, and I wouldn’t say yours is weird so much as interesting. Yeah, like the state. But as in made in, not born in. I think it’s a nice one, it’s gotten me this far at least. Well, thanks. Hey can I ask you something about the whole Amish thing?

[lucindaking]

Yes, I think that's very true. Your words are very kind, Georgia. That's quite an interesting story. I'm not sure why I'm a "Lucinda," though I wish I could have a background to it. And yes, of-of course. I'm not sure how well I'll be able to answer your question, but I'll try.