The Love of a Wallflower @luckyxpaws - Tumblr Blog

If only masks could be true and blue could be yellow.

“You don’t know why you’re exhausted? You’re fighting a war inside your head every single day. If that’s not exhausting, I don’t know what is.”

— Unknown

According to my staff doctor, my greatest strength is my kindness. So today, we celebrate~

I’m taking this moment to be proud of myself, of how far I’ve come, for failing and picking myself up again. For continuing to get up every day when the sun doesn’t want to shine.

Good job, you.

infpisme

romanticgenuine-deactivated2019

AHHHHHHHHHH

Just keep swimming ~~

You can do it !

7 more days!!!

#gogogo

The Finals Week Rambles

I was daydreaming about returning home in about a week and a half, and I got super excited to be reunited with my family and all the feels came, and then it suddenly hit me that I’m no longer a kid.

I’m 24. LIKE WHAT. When did I get to be this old. I still think of myself as a kid. And in many ways I am. And I feel like I always will be. Or maybe we’re all just meant to be kids at heart. For the rest of our lives. O__O

I guess when you’re young, you think, when i’m 18 I’ll be an adult. But, man oh man, I am way past 18 now. But I still feel 18. And that kind of scares me. I still have so much growing up to do, and I’m getting older by the second!

But anyways, I can’t wait to go back home. This will be our first break where we’re not still within a quarter, so YAY. I want to hang out with my parents and my old friends and be reunited with Michael and exercise and eat. I am super excited.

Okay, I should go back to studying now. :)

theliteraryjournals

I am crazy sad, and somewhere deep inside, all I want is to fly.

Jandy Nelson, The Sky is Everywhere (via wordsnquotes)

The day before a test

the room buzzes. Students frantically ruffle through their manuals and self-written notes in another class as they study for the exam the next day, ‘multitasking’. There’s discussion about how to do the hard problem in the manual or how to do another problem on the extra problem set sent through email. Their faces look tired. Coffees in hand, manual in the other, the students rush to lab after class, but all they think about is the exam the next day. One student complains they slept at 3AM the previous night. Another student counters they slept at 5AM. It becomes a competition of who studies the hardest, the longest, the best.

I sat there. Exhausted from a bad night’s sleep and cranky due to hunger. I looked around and everyone looked miserable. This is when self-doubt sets in. This is when stress takes over all sane judgement. This is when sleep and hunger take over our bodies. This is when we need to take care of each other.

Sure, an exam is an exam. A grade is a grade. But taking a step back, we’re all human. We all get stressed. We all need support, but how many people ask for it? We don’t want to bother our friends with our own burdens. Take it into your own hands. Ask if they’re okay. Ask if they need anything. Be an option for support.

TLDR; Check up on your friends. Let them know you care. <3

Allergies

My oh my. I had the strangest 24 hours. I had an allergic reaction to something but I was SLEEPING! SO WEIRD. Anyways, my eye lids swelled up, my nose plugged, my throat was scratchy, and I had ONE hive on my arm (only one -- again, weird). Stephen suggested I eat a benedryl and sleep it off so yep, I did that. I wake up the next morning and all symptoms went away except my eyes were still pretty swollen. Luckily I didn't have any class until 1 today so Titi was able to drive me to the doctor and pharmacy. Thanks Titi <3 you da best. The doctor ended up giving me a steroid shot to the butt LMAO and prescribed oral steroids for the next 5 days. Now it's 3:30AM and I'm still awake. Not sure why. Long day tomorrow too. Sigh. But I'm glad I'm alive. And I'm glad I have good friends. And I'm glad I have loving parents. So I can be happy tonight. :]

4 weeks and 2 midterms in...

and I really like optometry school!

SCCO is really great with helping us adjust to the workload, and all the teachers are some of the nicest and most enthusiastic people I’ve ever met! I really am so excited to be here and pursuing my dream career. *___* Imagine all the lives I’ll change with a pair of glasses or contacts! I’m also looking forward to helping the underserved with increasing access to vision care, too! I really do want to work with the underserved when I’m out of school. I think that’s something I’m really passionate about.

I like learning here, but of course, I’m having trouble adjusting socially (surprise, surprise). I didn’t try all that hard to make friends my first couple weeks; I think the whole idea of it stressed me out, so I tricked myself into thinking I was fine with the friends I had and that I’d make friends over time in lab classes/discussions/etc. Well, I’m starting to feel it now. It’s like 1st year of college all over again. x____x

The only thing that keeps me sane are my parents and Michael and my fur babies (Roxy, Finn, and Bandit). I have no doubt they love me and enjoy my company. As for everyone else in my life, I really can’t tell. Oh, the insecurities are eating me alive tonight.

I feel like a wallflower trying to save the world sometimes. Saving the world is hard business. But being a wallflower is even harder.

We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don’t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It’s time to put an end to this. It’s time for us to let ourselves be loved.

C Joybell C

#quote #self love #loved #isfj

Loved days are happy days. <3