Lucrair

Whatever I feel necessary

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

I really cannot get over this cats fucking face it’s so round and conveying an emotion that I simply am not equipped to understand

[fuzzycricket]

I WAS AT THIS MEETING, I MET THIS CAT. I forget his name but he was soooo sweet, I think it was Councilman Clark who brought him in! This was at the very first meeting in Denver to decide whether to ban declawing (the ban succeeded!)

Update: I emailed this post to councilman Clark, subject line “your kitty is famous”

Update 2: Councilman Clark responded, he thinks this is awesome and his cat’s name is Kit Kat

[world-cat-deactivated20181204]

Thank you Kit Kat for protecting the cats of Denver!

[airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat]

I think the emotion on Kit Kat’s face is democratic engagement.

[sickbrokenangel]

[sickbrokenangel]

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER

[closet-keys]

One thing I think is useful to conceptualize when thinking about the severity of depression is figuring out what counts as a ‘task’ to your brain

for example, healthy people outlining the tasks they need to do that day might be something like 

- class - work - homework

if a healthy person is having a low energy day, maybe it becomes 

- make breakfast - go to class - class - go to work - work - come home from work - work on an essay - do 2 readings 

a depressed person, on a high energy day will probably see that same day as 

- make breakfast - eat breakfast - take meds - shower - get dressed - walk to bus - take bus … etc

a depressed person, on a low energy day will see that same day as

- wake up - get out of bed - walk to bathroom - use bathroom - stand back up - walk to kitchen - open fridge - take out juice - set on counter - go to cabinet - reach up arm - take down glass - unscrew lid of juice carton - pour juice - drink the juice - finish the juice …etc

the sort of chronic exhaustion manifests in how each ‘task’ takes a certain amount of energy and when you have depression, what begins to take that amount of energy- and thus, cognitively count as a ‘task’- are smaller and smaller subdivisions of what other people consider tasks. 

And the more ‘tasks’ you do, the less energy you have, and the smaller the subdivisions must be to take equivalent amounts of energy. And the longer that “to do” list of tasks is, the more exhausting and overwhelming and hopeless it feels, which creates a feedback loop of dysfunction.

So say our depressed person on a low energy day gets all the way to finishing their glass of juice. They’ve actually gotten through a lot of tasks! They’ve tried really hard. 

But to a healthy person, even on a low energy day, that probably looks like not having done anything- not having gotten through any tasks. And when our depressed person is surrounded by healthy people, they will likely internalize that they haven’t done anything, and further that they can’t complete any tasks no matter how hard they try. And that feeds worthlessness and suicidal ideation 

That, I think, is why it’s so important to encourage your depressed and chronically low-energy friends when they accomplish tasks, even if they’re operating at a level of subdivision that you don’t recognize. It is an accomplishment to get water and actually drink it for some folks. It is an accomplishment to get to class or to work. 

And acknowledging how hard someone is trying and how much energy they’re putting towards accomplishing those tasks can make a huge difference in whether they feel worthless and hopeless or whether they feel like it’s worth it to keep doing what they can.

[theslaybymic]

What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control

Even when pharmacists do let people access contraception, whether emergency contraception or condoms or prescription birth control pills, the process isn’t always free of judgment. In a series of recent online discussions, people across the country have begun to share stories of the stigma they’ve experienced. As many have pointed out, this can be especially damaging to teens.

[roseykins]

DO YOU SEE THIS? PHARMACY EMPLOYEES IN THE U.S. ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO THIS. THAT GOES FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE FRONT AS WELL AS PEOPLE IN WHITE COATS BEHIND THE CAGE.

If an employee in a pharmacy makes a snide comment - Front store workers, pharmacists, or Pharmacy Techs give you shit? Gently (Or not so gently) remind them that the waiver they signed upon being hired legally binds them from commenting on your purchase, as it is a violation of privacy laws. Doing so is grounds for INSTANT termination and hefty fines.

Pharmacy workers (white coats) are legally obligated to ASK if you need an explanation of how medication works and any side effects, any medication conflicts etc. If you decline, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO MAKE SNIDE REMARKS OR FARTHER COMMENT ON YOUR PURCHASE. FRONT STORE EMPLOYEES CAN NOT AT ALL COMMENT IN ANY WAY, IN ANY STORE WITH A PHARMACY IN IT.

Know your rights. If this shit happens? Call them the fuck out and ask to speak to a manager. Get worked up. Cause a scene. Threaten a Lawsuit. If you see this happening to someone else, and they seem to be struggling, speak up for them. 

As a Pharmacy worker, you bet your ass I’ll protect you and your privacy. IT’S MY JOB.

[2343454254356]

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types: 1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse. 2. Sabotaging birth control 3. Marital rape Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.

[dosajam]

tw: abuse, rape, domestic violence

[babsissuchafuckinglady-deactiva]

holy fuck im crying.

[cg-is-lying-in-wait-blog]

I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control.  I was on the pill until he found them in my purse. 

I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.

Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. 

When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.

And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.

I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. 

I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.

[jewlesthemagnificent-deactivate]

If you can read this, and still think there is no situation in which a woman should have access to safe abortions, basically you’re saying that you value women as little as the abusive assholes in these personal, true stories did. That you’d rather have a woman die at the hands of her abuser than terminate a pregnancy, and that you’d rather have numerous children born into a dangerous, damaging, terrifying home than allow a woman to have control over her own body and her own reproductive choices.

[damnedifyoudeeohh-deactivated20]

I was a domestic abuse/sexual assault counsellor and hotline worker during my pre-clinical years of medical school, and whenever I’m asked what surprised me the most during my time doing that, I always say “the things a mom will go through for her kids”. A mom will put herself through hell and back to make sure her kids are safe, are fed, are sheltered. A mom will put up with punches and put downs and rapes and bruises and invasiveness, if the alternative is a worse fate for her kids.  Birth control options (and abortions) should be available to all women because their reproductive abilities should be within their control. That should be obvious (but, for some reason, isn’t to many). But additionally, these things should be available because most women will do anything to protect their kids, and abusers know this. If the abuser can get her pregnant and reproduce his kids, his power over her increases tenfold: do this, or the kids don’t eat tonight. Do this, or I’ll cut off funding for their clothes. Do this, or they’ll get beat, too. Do this, or you won’t see your kids ever again. Not to mention, as a previous poster stated, that a child is the chain back to the abuser that keeps on giving: society and legal systems usually root for Dad to have -some- access to his kids, even if he’s a piece of shit. And if he has access to them, he has access to Mom, too.

[lucrairheartsfell]

Going back on just the planned Parenthood bit, I know someone who works there. Low income families often go to them after a hard break-up due to cheating to her tested for STDs their partner might have given them after cheating. The people there do what they can to help emotionally and physically. Planned Parenthood also is not even majorly an abortion company, if I remember right only 3% of what they do is abortion related. Birth controls can be given in secret, they have more options than just pills, and they even help with certain medical needs such as ovarian cysts. Birth control is NOT a choice for the man to make, especially after reading this. This is not the first time I've heard of reproductive coercion, but I don't think I understood how much of a problem it was. This is an important message, for absolutly everyone.

[malketor]

Looking up Scottish mythological creatures and

Wulver: a werewolf in Shetland, that is said to have had the body of a man with a wolf’s head. It was reported to have left fish on the windowsills of poor families.

That is the nicest Werewolf legend I’ve ever heard of.

[thegreenwolf]

Now I wish I could draw because I’d love to draw this.

[defilerwyrm]

i tried

[earlploddington-deactivated2019]

shetland, where mermaids are evil and werewolves fight poverty

[fangirlberry]

@thebibliosphere

[thebibliosphere]

I love when people find this post again, this is a wholesome werewolf post.

[nightmarekite-deactivated201505]

Why do I want polyamorous representation?

Because when someone doesn’t want to date me because I’m poly it’s ‘understandable’ but when I don’t want to date someone because they are monogamous it’s ‘ridiculous.’

Because all relationship advice tells you that if you have feelings for someone else while you’re in a relationship you’re a bad person.

Because even feminists try to slut shame me.

Because when I tell people me and my partner have an open relationship they assume it’s because we’re going through a rough patch.

Because people equate ‘multiple partners’ with ‘predator’ and think everything I say is an attempt to get in their pants.

Because I am fed up of love triangles as easy plot devices in my media.

Because the LGBTQA+ movement are so desperate to show ‘allies’ they are ‘just like everyone else’ that they shit on everyone with a non-monogamous dynamic.

Because when a monogamous couple have sex with each other every night it’s having an active sex drive. When I have sex with a different partner every night I’m a nymphomaniac.

Because people think that monogamy = validity, always.

Because monogamous hetronormativity is so ingrained that I don’t even feel like I can dance with someone without telling them the complete logistics of my love life.

Because people genuinely believe that raising a child communally is damaging to development.

Because when I say ‘I could never be monogamous’ I get dirty looks.

Because too many people have tried to confide in me when they’re cheating because ‘I thought you, of all people, would understand.’

Because I can’t talk about my relationship troubles with my monogamous friends because ‘I always have something to fall back on.’ As if my relationships are meaningless.

(please reblog and add more if you like)

[my-poly-life-ramblings]

Let’s keep adding guys!

[genderphobia-deactivated2018101]

wow i love this a lot

[ifridiot]

because my genuine love for my partners is twisted into ‘greed’ by outsiders

because, after hearing that i live in a situation where i’m fairly isolated and don’t get to see my partners often, i’ve been told by multiple people that have more than one partner is just my way of ‘coping’

because i get asked grossly invasive questions like ‘are you open for sex with any/everyone?’ and ‘do you hold orgies?’

because my love is constantly questioned by people outside my relationships

[nuiissilly-blog]

Because I got told its just a fancy way of saying you’re a cheater

[pansexual-pied-piper]

PSA if you shit on polyam, you’re an asshole.

[aspd-fox]

I’m strictly monogamous, but supportive of other people living the way they feel right.

[lucrairheartsfell]

I'm also monogamous, but really people? Why can't you look at the world the way it really is. They are not hurting you, impeding on ANYTHING in your life, or doing anything else to you. You are the only one causing any harm and it is truly ridiculous. Let people be happy, because then everything is better for everyone. No matter how strong you feel towards one thing, fighting someone who feels otherwise will never make you any happier, you may think you feel good doing it but honestly the negativity will only drag you both down. Life is easier if you don't care what other people do to make themselves happy, and no one has the right to take happiness from others just because you don't agree. So stop being immature children, and let people be happy.

[spockoandjimjim]

If your vegan “activism” involves holocaust comparisons you owe me a $50 Amazon gift card and a 2,000 word essay explaining why you think Jews are comparable to cattle Goyim reblog (esp. if you’re vegan)

[aspd-fox]

They do that now? I don’t know if I should be surprised or not…

[transstudent]

The U.S. Department of Education’s recent declaration that Title IX applies to trans students has clarified trans rights in education. This graphic shows just a few, but you can learn more here. 

[transstudent]

Just a reminder that even if Trump has withdrawn his administration’s support for trans students, Title IX still applies to us!

[pizza]

i always change my mind about everything except the password i have been using since i was 10

[meolog]

graveyard alley

[fuckitfireeverything]

hey American followers – if you like public libraries I’ve got some bad news for you

the Trump administration’s proposed budget plan for FY18 includes cutting all funding for the Institute of Museum and Library Services (IMLS) which is….. bad. I’m my library system, IMLS pays 11% of our total annual budget, which doesn’t sound like much, but in a lot of rural areas or states without as much state-level support for libraries, IMLS is responsible for the bulk of their operating costs and loss of this funding could mean the complete closure of central branches and loss of library resources for entire communities

I talk about this a lot on here, but libraries aren’t just free books – they’re a crucial service for under-served communities, they provide job search assistance to job seekers, crucial early learning and literary skills to kids, they provide information and access to people with no other way of getting them, they provide free internet and computer access, a free and safe place to be for homeless people, for teenagers after school, for families who can’t afford expensive daycare, and many of them provide free lunches for kids in the summer who aren’t getting lunch because they aren’t in school, and countless other things

there are so many communities out there who cannot afford to lose this funding and to lose the support that their libraries provide

go read about this. go call your senator. America’s pretty fucked up right now, but if we’ve done one thing right, it’s libraries, and we can’t afford to lose them

[lifelinebooks]

Please spread the word! Libraries are so important!

[meolog]

into the vague

[just-shower-thoughts]

If people really think kneeling during the National Anthem is disrespectful to veterans wait until they hear about how the Dept. of Veteran Affairs treats veterans.

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

hmm? what’s that? oh, you don’t like my seeds? *evolves into a fruit that bears no seeds but is now a monoculture that is especially susceptible to pests and disease* how about that idiot 

[boo-boo-the-fool-strikes-again]

Don’t vague post about bananas you scum