trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Crash Bandicoot (Video Games)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Coco Bandicoot, Neo Cortex (Crash Bandicoot), Crash Bandicoot, N. Gin (Crash Bandicoot), Crunch Bandicoot, Aku Aku (Crash Bandicoot)
Additional Tags: Crash Nitro Kart, Introspection, Worldbuilding, Character Study
Summary:
Earth's unwilling contestants in the Galaxy Circuit prepare, and members of both teams reflect on just where the kart racing among Cortex's (former) minions came from.
So, I've been poking at Kingmaker scenes for a bit with Jocelyn, and one thing I had wanted to poke at was the idea of Valerie being with a paladin and what a paladin might realize talking to her, as well as the two comparing their experiences. Been sitting on it for a while, and I thought I'd share it since I don't think I'll use it in what I'm currently working on.
Set partway through Act I, meant to be an adaptation of a part of the conversations you can have with Valerie at the trading post.
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Valerie was quite thankful that she had taken up a watch posting that morning, as it meant that this conversation was to be had in relative privacy. This could end quite poorly, and she did not need Linzi gossiping with Svetlana or Amiri about this. Especially given the bard was, as with so many of their lackadaisical kind, another devotee of worthless Shelyn.
"You mentioned that you had trained with the Order of the Eternal Rose," Jocelyn asked after pleasantries as both women looked southwards, towards the Stolen Lands proper. "Were you training as one of Shelyn's paladins, or as a lay-squire like I first was?"
Valerie raised an eyebrow at the tidbit hinted at, but put that aside for now. "My father gave me to Shelyn's service at six, believing my beauty to be her divine blessing. That I was destined to serve the Eternal Rose, and if I wished to do as a warrior it would be as one of her paladins." She scoffed. "You can see how that went."
"It clearly was not a good fit for you."
"Not at all. I suppose you must have ran into one of Shelyn's airheads at the enclave you trained at?"
"A few times one would take shelter with us while following their quest, or when helping us keep the road clear." Jocelyn frowned. "They were kind enough, and quite merciful."
Valerie chuckled darkly. "That is putting it mildly. Executing Kalannah made the world a safer place. Shelyn would have demanded you believe her blatant lies and release her so maybe she could maybe make a piece of art. At least Iomedae does not fall for that nonsense."
"Iomedae does not forbid mercy," Jocelyn pointed out, before reciting something. "When in doubt, I may force my enemies to surrender, but I am responsible for their lives."
It took Valerie a moment to process it, but she nodded as she could see the pragmatic wisdom there. "Hmm. Well, regardless, Shelyn thinks that if a brigand raped a farmer but then begged for mercy with your sword at their neck, you are obligated to spare them. You defeat such a wretch, then inspire them to create a work of art later!" Valerie snorted, not bothering to hide her contempt. "It would be hilarious, if it were not true."
They fell quiet, as if Jocelyn was trying to decide whether to give an opinion, perhaps to defend her fellow paladins, or if maybe she agreed with Valerie but was not certain on saying it aloud. Still, that also left a question unanswered, one that Valerie realized deserved an answer.
She sighed, shaking her head. "Yes, I was training to be a paladin, even though I never wanted to be. I took well enough to fighting with glaives, the agilities, even the history, but the painting, the poetry, the calligraphy? So much time wasted on irrelevant things."
Silence hung in the air for a few more moments, and Valerie felt an old aching emptiness gnawing its way up. She forced it down, as she always did. That was the child she once was longing for the wrong thing. Valerie still remembered what it felt like to touch that armor, though…
"What about you?" Valerie asked to turn her thoughts away. "You said you were a lay-squire, were you not sent to be a paladin?"
"They sent me to the enclave to learn in another's house." There was no need to explain it, as both of them knew the usual upbringing of a young noble, even a lesser one of the knightly class. To learn many of the skills needed for noble life with those who did not have the blindspots and indulgences of a parent. To learn to lead through service. "The hope was that there, I could learn my place in the community. To protect, to pray, perhaps both?"
"It seems the answer was both, though forgive me if I hope for more of the former."
Jocelyn smiled ruefully. "Forgiven, though you are not wrong. I am one who fights, too much to stay with my community, even if I wished to."
"Why couldn't you?"
Jocelyn took a moment to compose herself, like this was something that needed to be explained in a particular way. "The same reason I became Iomedae's paladin instead of Erastil's. My family, my community, is safe and sound. Not without danger, but if I stayed I would have been an idle noble. Unworthy in Erastil's eyes, of what my parents taught, of what I believed. I want to help those who still need it, people like the Levetons and Bokken, or those Kalannah held in chains."
"Or this 'Guardian'?" Valerie retained her doubts of the story, but was leading them to the source of this fog and genuine dangers that needed to be dealt with.
"Or her."
The conversation paused there as both looked to the horizon. Valerie mulled over what she had said and learned. Even though she was devout, it seemed like Jocelyn was not looking to judge her for her past. That, at least, was reassuring, though deeds would prove what words only promised. Though, there was one thing Valerie wondered.
"You mentioned becoming Iomedae's paladin instead of Erastil's. What was that like?"
Jocelyn's eyebrows raised in surprise, but she nodded along as she recovered. "Imagine that you were going down a road. There is nothing wrong with it, and it is a road you want to go down, yet you feel like something is missing, something you can't name. Your guide shows you another road, not to take you down it but to help show you how to walk yours, as both go to similar destinations. Then one day, you realize that his was the road that you were meant to take the whole time. The old road was how you got there, where you learned to travel before finding the road you were meant for." The paladin grinned. "At least, that's what Old Deadeye says."
Valerie rolled her eyes, but felt a small smile form on her face. She had heard that turn of phrase more than a few times from Ezvanki when he finished telling one of his parables to Lady Jamandi's court.
"I suppose I should have expected a sermon," she admitted with a shake of her head. "Though, I do not view my old road as fondly as yours."
"With the pedestal they put you on, I do not blame you," Jocelyn admitted. "Still, there must have been something in Shelyn's paladin code worth following."
"Of Shelyn's code? Only leading by example, and only if you drop the nonsense about not using your blade and that cutting down scum lessens the world's beauty." Valerie exhaled sharply. "To think I once swore to uphold such a thing."
Jocelyn paused, frowning. Looking closer at Valerie, meeting her gaze. Was she looking for something? But what? It was not as if Valerie was flippant about oaths. Admittedly she did not know Iomedae's code for her paladins, but surely there was no reason to take offense on behalf of Shelyn's dullards?
"Valerie," Jocelyn asked, and to her surprise she could tell how worried the paladin seemed to be, "when you left Shelyn's service, how did you sever your oaths?"
"My actions, and their inaction, spoke clearly enough," Valerie answered, though she could not help but feel like there was a hole gnawing at her again. Maybe she should have eaten more for breakfast after all. "I tore up that annoying poem, and when the paladins wanted me to be punished as part of some repentance, I gathered my things and left. I would say their inaction served as my release."
"And when you left, you didn't feel anything?"
"Besides anger and exhaustion? I suppose the next morning I felt empty, listless." Valerie paused, that familiar sensation, and Jocelyn stood straighter… she hastily clarified. "It was the first time I was truly on my own, you see. It took me a few days to figure out what I would do next, but once I set off for Restov any doubts were easily pushed down."
"Valerie, a paladin's oath is not a thing so readily discarded. It is a knight's oath, a commitment of the soul. Even an honorable parting is a deep wound. When he was training me, Virn went out of his way to make sure I was willing to commit to Iomedae's cause, let alone to forge a bond with the Lady of Valor as one of her paladins. How far into your training were you when you left?"
Much as she wanted to brush it off, to dismiss it as spellbeggars having their vestments in a twist, Valerie could feel that there was something different. Or maybe it was concern that she could see without years of frustrations in the way. Genuine concern. For a hole in her heart where a broken oath remained.
Valerie shook her head. "You need not worry: whatever weakness that my leaving created has long since been trained out. I promised that I would support your cause, and I shall do so until my last breath."
Jocelyn nodded and let the matter lie, though somehow Valerie knew this was going to come up again.
@ghostwise you’re right it totally slipped my mind to show the display of light bc in game I was just hitting dialogue options. and tbh it would’ve just been like aang showing the air bending toy. except Lann is upset bc xoryth didnt show chief sull but yeah they’ll show the prelate for manipulative reasons.
Welp, the Archives of Nethys lost their partnership with Paizo. This means they're taking down the legacy PRD, which was my preferred site for years! Expect a lot more broken links in the reruns, which I will try to remember to fix.
It's a tragic and unfortunate sign of how things might be changing at Paizo, but before anyone here raises their torches and pitchforks at the company, I suggest reading this for some context about why it's happening.
There's millions of dollars in physical property being held in legal limbo right now due to the collapse of their former distributor, Diamond Comics, which is causing a terrible ripple effect through everyone Diamond Comics had contracts with. There's going to be some belt-tightening at Paizo, and there probably will be for quite some time until the situation with Diamond resolves.
My brain randomly latched onto Lycanthropes recently, and it occurred to me; I can't recall Paizo mentioning the origins of them at any point, which doesn't feel right. Do you know of any? and if so, what it was? or at least what book it was in?
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No, you're right. Nowhere actually talks about their origins in absolutes, not even Blood of the Moon, the book that's ALL ABOUT them. The closest we get to a concrete answer is Jezelda's article in Book of the Damned, where she's credited as the first werewolf... a fact that's debated and denied in-universe, by her own minions. Her article in the BotD frustratingly taunts me with "the original source of lycanthropy has long fascinated scholars and philosophers, for it is an affliction that has plagued civilization from the very beginning" before launching into "yeah not even Jezelda's faith considers her the first one." I suppose it does make her unique when among her peers Kabriri "The First Ghoul" Gnawingone and Zura "The First Vampire" Vampqueen (who is also only debatably the first vampire, but she openly claims to be).
I think the most tantalizing hint to the origins of therianthropy is actually in 2e's Howl of the Wild, snuck in via two sentences on page 194: "It could be the curse exists on its own, to be filtered through any type of beast. Or it began as a curse for one animal, and some influence of other animal magic caused the malady to splinter to other species."
The implications there are fascinating and more than a little horrifying; that the curse spreads almost like a prion disease. leaping from species to species until it makes its way into a host who expresses the symptoms obviously and violently. It's easy for someone (me) to come to the conclusion that there may be swaths of Golarion's wildlife who are infected by this transformative illness, but humanity largely doesn't notice because the rabid transformed animals either keep to the wilds or are slain in the dead of night before anyone got a good look at what they actually were.
There's a nonzero chance that werewolves WERE the first therianthropes, but they spread the curse to other creatures via nonfatal bites (or into scavengers consuming their corpses), who went on to create their own variants of the polymorphic curse in anything they bit or anything that bit them.
There's no solid origin, though I'm willing to bet druids had something to do with it. The fact that therianthropy has existed since the beginning of recorded history is certainly something to think about! Researching an answer for it made my brain spin up a horrifying theory, so hopefully you may be able to make your own equally terrifying conclusions!
Ambient dialogues in the Lawful Good version of Tuskdale in Pathfinder: Kingmaker! Includes a crowd shot and the dialogue box (trimming out generic people greeting the player character). All of them are also transcribed under the "Read More". Most of them are just 'Citizen', so I've identified them where I could. They are also written to loop, so finding the exact start and end can be a little confusing. Took my best shot at it, though.
First, we've got a priestess acting inquisitorially with a pub owner (the only one I was able to screenshot clean to boot without some random citizen or guard coming in to hail), and it seems the Outer Rifts have been sniffing around. That, or some murderhobos just came back from Treasures of the Midnight Isles and chose this tavern to play cards at.
Second, we have a band of adventurers off to deal with some bandits. After being properly identified, of course. Don't want to be mistaken for other murderhobos adventurers, right?
Third, we have a dwarven paladin of Iomedae, a veteran of the Mendevian Crusades, telling a story and inspiring a future paladin. Definitely the most complicated of them, and one that feels like it's one that'd only happen later once we have established Tuskdale properly rather than the barony just being founded.
And lastly, we have a father-son discussion where the ex-brigand father is disappointed that his son followed in his footsteps and also did some brigandage (without even wearing a brigandine, tsk tsk, proper PPE kiddo...). Another one that feels like it's really meant for after we've become well established, though also one I have a hard time identifying where it was meant to start and end before looping.
(So, what is your baron(ess)' verdict on the crime and plea brought before them?)
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TRANSCRIPT: Priestess Acting Inquisitorially
Priestess: "Your gold smells funny, friend."
Pub Owner (Citizen): "It doesn't smell at all! And even if it did, how's that my fault? This is a pub, for gods' sake - we get all sorts here! If someone slipped me a fake coin, I had no idea!"
Priestess: "It's not that the money's fake - it bears traces of another world. How did you come into possession of gold that had been touched by a demon?"
Pub Owner: "A demon?! That's impossible!"
Priestess: "What's more, the traces are fresh. So either one of your guests is from another world, or you've got something very interesting going on in your cellar."
Pub Owner: "What's my cellar got to do with it?! We just play cards there!"
Priestess: "And I'd like to know the names of all your players. Do you have any idea how dangerous demons can be?"
Pub Owner: "Fine. You want names, I'll give 'em to you. I understand. I'm not fool - I can look out for myself."
Priestess: "You're sure there's nothing you'd like to confess? Nothing you might want to ask forgiveness for?"
Pub Owner: "Please, don't ruin me! There's nothing to confess! I'm a faithful follower of Abadar!"
Priestess: "Look at me. Don't turn away. Why so silent all of a sudden?"
===
TRANSCRIPT: Hiring Adventurers
Official: "Fair folk of this city! We have need of a few brave hearts who are willing to be part of a dangerous undertaking!"
Adventurer: "What's going on?"
Official: "We've received reports that a dangerous criminal is hiding in the nearby forest. Times are tough, and the guard is stretched thin. We need the aid of brave volunteers!"
Adventurer: "What's the job then? Bash his head in?"
Official: "Arrest him and deliver him to the judge for trial. His gang won't give up without a fight, so we're permitted to use force where necessary, but there will be no mob justice!"
Adventurer: "And what did this criminal do, exactly?"
Official: "Robbery and murder. He even gutted his victims just to make sure they hadn't swallowed anything valuable. He showed no mercy."
Adventurer (Ranger): "Scum of the earth. Count me in! I know these forests like the back of my hand - I'll lead the way."
Adventurer (Mage): "I'll come as well! My magic can make us invisible as we approach them."
Adventurer (Fighter): "Lead on, chief. Let's show those bandits a good time."
Official: "Hold on - let me get you on the books, then you can get your volunteer badges. We wouldn't want to have mobs of disorganized vigilantes wandering the forest, now would we?"
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TRANSCRIPT: Seven Paladins of Iomedae
Paladin: "And then we were seven. Seven paladins of Iomedae. Untold swarms of demons descended upon us. But did we falter? Not a bit!"
Skeptic: "So, what... the seven of you stopped an entire army of demons? That's a tall tale, mate!"
Citizen: "Think before you speak! 'A tall tale...' A paladin of Iomedae never lies!"
Paladin: "I speak no lie. In truth, we were not seven that day - we were eight."
Paladin: (Restarting his story) "And then, we were seven. Seven paladins of Iomedae. The seven paladins, and their lady Iomedae. She herself was there among us. Not in body, of course. But I felt her presence - she was near, and her divine aura protected me. She gave me the strength when the other six had fallen. She led us to victory that day."
Son: "I... I want to be a paladin, too! To act in the face of danger and defend the light!"
Citizen: "Would you listen to that? Guess these young ones are growing up just fine..."
Paladin: "Think carefully, boy. Serving Iomedae is no joke. However, if you still wish to join us once you come of age, the order could always use such a fine young man."
Mother: "Son, but why? You could get yourself killed! What about us? What about the farm?"
Son: "Mother, they're protecting all of us. Don't you see? What family will I have left if the darkness wins? What good is working the farm if the enemy comes after us?"
Mother: "Oh, my dear boy..."
Son: "Please go on, sir! What happened next during the battle? You said you were seven, right?"
Paladin: "Hmm.... Yes, that's right."
===
TRANSCRIPT: Father and Son
Son: "But Dad, the merchants weren't even from around here..."
Father: "What difference does that make? Honest, hardworking folk are the same everywhere!"
Son: "But you said you did it yourself, back when you were young! Said you had to take up a knife and a crossbow, and..."
Father: "Those were different times, boy. Dark times! Nowadays, we've got a new ruler, praise the gods, and no one has to take such sins upon their souls. We've got plenty of food on the table. I paid for my crimes, and I'm ashamed of my old self!"
Son: "Dad... I didn't want to..."
Father: "Oh, my poor heart can't take it anymore... run home, you fool. I'm going to the captain of the guard to beg on your behalf. I'll fall at his feet, and beg him to take mercy on my young, stupid son. I'll plead for you, since you came clean - even brought everything you stole along with you."
Son: "Dad, don't! Not the guard! Please don't tell them!"
Father: "You idiot! Have you learned nothing?! Like it or not, I'm turning you into the guard. After what you've done, you're no son of mine!"
Son: "Dad, no! Please forgive me! I was stupid! The neighbor said it wouldn't be a big deal, just shaking down a few merchants..."
Father: "Shaking down? Shaking down?! Is that how I raised you?! Your whole live, I've worked my fingers to the bone to make sure you had everything! And you... You become just like those murderers and thieves!"
i think it's funny when a character is almost exclusively referred to by their last name by other people and this carries over into their internal monologue when someone writes from their pov. not even on a first name basis with herself
Reminder to self: A file folder of outlines and character notes and half-written scenes is the equivalent of an artist’s sketchbook and holds just as much value to the creative process.
If a framed canvas isn’t the only worthwhile expression of visual art, then a fully edited and polished piece of significant length is not the only worthwhile expression of writing.
WIP Wednesday! A part of a worldbuilding rush that that recently bit me that I'm making a one or two shot out of.
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N. Gin deflated with a nod. "Far different from what we used to do, yes. You remember, master? The open road before us, the purr of our rides, the rush as we ignited the nitro-fuel to leap off ramps!" He paused. "The bruises on our keisters as we landed. Or when Amberley caught us."
"The sacrifices we make for speed," Neo noted with faux-lamentation, though he could not help but smile fondly. "If only Amberley could see us now! 'What a useless skill', she said! 'You'll never do any evil on a kart', she said! Ha! We'll see who laughs last!"
"She did not appreciate us testing our mechanical genius against the road!" He shook his robotic right hand indignantly. "You will see, master: our love of speed will see us through this. Those bandicoots are mere imitators!"
"And who did they imitate?" Neo genuinely lamented this time, shaking his head. "Their creator, of course. It seems no matter where I turn, I see past failures staring back at me. Thwarting me. Opposing me."
N. Gin paused, the still-biological half of his mouth frowning as he looked at his right hand, before he spoke. "Had the Vortex worked, would you have regretted it?"
"Of course not!" Neo snapped back. "I remember when that blasted bandicoot was my pride and joy, the minion I would make my general! Showing Crash how to drive a kart was like father-son bonding, and I haven't even done that with my daugh- er, niece!"
Had he not created the bandicoot? Or rather, taken him from a short, brutish life of grubbing for worms with his nose and nibbling leaves, and instead evolved him into something more. Shaped life with his own will and intellect, nurtured a talent for destruction and platform navigation with a steady supply of crate courses, and taught him other skills. Skills that the bandicoot had then turned against him, after the Cortex Vortex rejected him…
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