This was originally for Lucanis Week, but I wasn’t feeling it. Still not 100%, but fuck it.
————
Dinners with Viago de Riva were always fraught affairs, at least from Lucanis's perspective. His grandmother seemed perfectly at ease, as did the bastard prince. Viago viewed his future life as a Talon as an inevitability, a position he would reach with or without Caterina's favor, though he was clearly wise enough to see that with was the smoother path. Illario usually attended with an air of sulky impatience; no one particularly wanted him to be there, least of all Illario himself, but propriety insisted that the servants place a chair for him and that he be there to fill it.
Only Lucanis seemed to feel any kind of tension, and several such meals passed before he began to understand why. He felt something for Viago that he had not felt for anyone else before. It felt like respect or admiration… but it was something more. He wanted the approval of the older boy. (Man. They were men now, Lucanis eighteen and Viago already past twenty, and both of them full Crows besides.) He wanted Viago to think him intelligent, capable, confident—all the qualities that Viago himself seemed to have in spades. He wanted to make a witty remark or an astute observation and receive one of Viago's rare smiles in return. He wanted that sharp blue gaze to seek him out over a wine glass and communicate some shared sentiment that they didn't need words to express. He wanted to know if the dark curls that sometimes fell across that gaze would feel as soft as they looked if he gently brushed them back into place.
Part of him longed to confide his feelings to his cousin, but he knew from Illario's own endless blathering about his seemingly endless line of partners that his cousin would only focus on the crude, physical side of the equation. Lucanis could barely imagine kissing Viago, let alone anything else. He most often daydreamed of the two of them reading together in front of a fire, content and warm in each other's presence, a fantasy that he knew would make Illario scoff. So he kept it all to himself and sat through each dinner unsure what to say or how to act and with a hollow disappointment in his chest when Viago only paid him the attention due to his future First Talon.
Whenever Caterina dismissed him and Illario so she could give Viago advice not meant for their ears, Illario always hurried off, eager to get out amid the bright lanterns and brighter laughter of the city. He had already given up on trying to coax Lucanis into the company of comely men and women, usually because he wanted to engage their friend or sibling in a night of fun and pleasure. Lucanis had tried to go along and enjoy himself like everyone else his age seemed to, but the conversations, the light touches to his arm or hand, even the few kisses he'd exchanged had all felt stilted and forced. Now he'd found someone he wouldn't mind sharing conversation and possibly touches with… and he felt just as stiff and awkward as ever.
So while Illario fled the mostly empty villa in search of company, Lucanis remained and sought the solitude of the gardens either alone or with his pet snake, Filomena. When he was younger, he'd sometimes confided his worries or doubts to her, but he had grown savvy enough to know that any words spoken or written within the confines of the villa (and sometimes without) could eventually make their way to Caterina. So he draped her comforting weight across his shoulders, let her coil around his arms, and confined their one-sided conversation to books he was reading, only occasionally broken by soft croons of affection. Even those could be reported to Caterina, who might decide his pet was an unnecessary distraction.
He also took care to find a corner of the gardens that wasn't occupied by any workers or servants when he carried Filomena out. An out-of-the way bench was the closest he came to true privacy on any given day, and he savored it. Sometimes it was difficult to come by if a heavy rain had led to a bumper crop of weeds in the flower beds or if the plan for an upcoming social event included guests spilling out among the well-groomed paths. Occasionally Illario snuck back in with his paramour of the moment.
And once, Lucanis stumbled across an intruder.
Filomena noticed before he did; her species had unusually good eyesight for spotting people. Even when she raised her head and stared pointedly into a tree, Lucanis assumed her attention had been caught by a bird. Then he took another step, and the light from the nearby lanterns shifted just enough to reflect in the eyes of an elven child.
Alarm probably should have been his first reaction, but he was so surprised that he and the child stared at each other for several seconds before either of them spoke.
"Is she a Western Antivan?" the child asked.
The words broke through his stupefaction, and he quickly shifted to a defensive stance. He doubted the girl—he thought it was a girl by the voice, though her thick accent made it difficult to be sure—presented any danger to him, but a careless Crow was a dead Crow.
"Who are you?" he demanded. "How did you get in here?"
She pointed in the direction of the carriage house. "The gate there. It was not locked."
"How did you get into the carriage house?"
She peeked out further from the leaves, revealing a pale face full of freckles, and raised an eyebrow at him. "In a carriage."
Her tone implied she thought he was the one behaving oddly, and Lucanis bristled. "Get down. Now."
The girl rolled her eyes but obeyed, dropping into a light crouch no more than a meter away from him. She wore the leathers of a fledgling, and beneath a smear of mud, Lucanis could make out the sigil of the Fifth House. Her hair was gathered in a messy bun on the top of her head and sprouted leaves and twigs from her recent perch. Even when she rose to her full height, she barely came up to his chest, yet she closed the distance between them without fear, all of her focus on Filomena.
"She is a Western Antivan, yes? She is pretty! You collect her venom? How? Their fangs are in the back of the mouth, yes? Collecting is difficult?"
Once again Lucanis was struck dumb by thwarted expectations. He could not remember a time when other Crows, even those much older than him, had not treated him with the courtesy due to the heir apparent of the First House. He often found it uncomfortable, yes, but it was at least familiar.
"You came with Viago?" he finally asked, and he nearly cringed at his uncertain tone, anticipating a blow for the crime of revealing his discomposure so clearly.
The girl nodded, though her dark eyes still appraised Filomena, whose flickering tongue indicated she was just as curious about the new person in their vicinity. "He told me to wait in the carriage, but hours go without him. He thought I just sit there?"
She sounded almost amused, as if the thought of obeying a superior Crow was a comical one. She had to be new to the fledgling ranks, and Lucanis marveled that Viago had brought her with him out in public. What had he possibly been thinking? If Caterina had seen this girl, she would have had her on the ground instantly, bruises ripening, for her cavalier attitude, her lack of decorum, her slovenly appearance.
Lucanis suddenly realized that, as a full Crow of a higher House, he was well within his rights to punish the girl himself. Anything short of permanent injury would be accepted, even expected. He could deliver a backhanded blow to her face and be called merciful.
Would Viago be annoyed... or grateful? Would he nod his approval to Lucanis if he dragged this girl before him, evidence of the consequence meted out clear on her face?
He gave no outward sign of his thoughts—he was sure of it—but the girl in front of him froze. Sharp eyes met his, and the thought struck Lucanis that she was older than he’d assumed. Beneath the fear and a hint of indignation was a world-weary disdain that professed he was just the latest in a long line of people (humans? men?) who had tried to beat her down while he lived his life of comfort and clout.
To his surprise, a wave of prickling embarrassment rushed through him in the wake of that judgment. He turned away before it could reach his face.
“They’ll be done soon," he told the girl. "Go before he sees you.”
As if on cue, the sound of a bell summoning him to dessert floated to them from the house. The girl dashed off with admirable speed, disappearing behind the hedges on silent feet. Filomena stretched toward the space where she had been for a moment and then settled her head atop his shoulder again, novelty forgotten. Lucanis trudged back to the house, and despite his best efforts, his thoughts drifted back to the day his mother had gifted him Filomena, to the million questions he had asked about his new pet and the way her eyes had sparkled as she answered
————
(Tagging @serensama and @blackwall-my-tiny-husband as requested once upon a time)
Y’all need to see this incredible art that @serensama drew and @blackwall-my-tiny-husband colored of Ilene and Lucanis’s wedding day in a modern AU (posted with permission).
Look at them! Look at how amazing they look! My friends are so talented!!
art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you
When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.
I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.
Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no
Then there’s the half hilarious, half heartbreaking subversion where the character gets stabbed, and then whines and complains about how they’ve ‘been mortally wounded, there’s no hope for them,’ in order to annoy people enough that they’re distracted from how serious the wound actually is.
Just trying to be better with posting what I draw because otherwise I'm only annoying the same three people instead of the greater populous as I should be ^_^;
Finished off my Illario x Lilya piece from earlier this week, I could have done a lot more but It was meant to be a quicker piece and didn't want to spend hours and hours on it. And then I drew the dynamic trio of Lilya, Ilene ( @kabsey) and Zalan ( @blackwall-my-tiny-husband ) – which I affectionately labelled, "idiots". Also throwing in a super quick drawing of Naera and Turvi/Turbee/Turbs ( @davrinsleftpectoral ) Bless them all, I love all these Rooks so damn much XD
titsay
andulkaphoto
dailybridgerton
stormborns
