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@lukehemss
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: if i'd known the best way to get you to behave was threatening to tell you x-rated fantasies about your hot brothers, I would've done it yearssss ago.
cal: look at you, being adventurous for once.
cal: it was a compliment. mostly.
luke: hot brothers?? get outta here.
luke: ten bucks says i regret it.
luke: good bc that's how i was taking it. getting a little trust. moving on up in the world.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: you really do because if i'd continued, it would've been entirely your own fault and you'd have no one else to blame.
cal: try the matcha cheesecake before you judge.
cal: i feel like you could've but you didn't. which gives me pause but i'm choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt rn.
luke: looks like i'll be on my best behavior for now. don't ever wanna cross /that/ line.
luke: i'll try one bite.
luke: thank you. i think.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i already told you but you thought it was gross and you didn't wanna know more so
cal: you're exhausting to deal with and i can't. eat some cheesecake and chill the fuck out.
cal: don't leave me on read, dickhead.
luke: i really need to stop setting myself up and walking into these conversations. rip.
luke: only if it's regular cheesecake with cherries on the top.
luke: hahahaha pls i didn't know what to say to that last part.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i'm so glad you and i have very different ideas on what counts as exciting.
cal: i feel like you're being overly dramatic about this. it's cheesecake, full of sugar and fat. how can it even be bad??
cal: good.
luke: what would you consider exciting? tell me so that i can judge it.
luke: overly dramatic? always. but i'm strongly dedicated to my anti-matcha movement.
luke: [ TEXT READ ]
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i mean, true. you and dumb decision often go hand in hand
cal: you've never even given it a real chance. you just decided you don't like it. the cheesecake would make you change your mind.
cal: i hope that weakness is a thing of the past, bud.
luke: keeps my life exciting so.
luke: say i give the cheesecake a try. are you going to hold the bucket when i throw up?
luke: ya
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: daring me is always the wrong move to make.
cal: your taste buds are damaged. there's a ton of health benefits to matcha tea and it's yummy too. matcha cheesecake is also excellent. 10/10 would recommend.
cal: there's been zero lies and just because you keep saying it, it doesn't make it true. ok if u say so.
luke: like that has ever stopped me from doing so.
luke: your taste buds are damaged. you cannot be sitting there and seriously saying match is good in any form. ever.
luke: yes it does. i can't help that everyone is so hot and i'm so weak. ://
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i'm going to call ur mum and tell her ur being so mean to her future son-in-law.
cal: they're all sugar and 100% gross. there's really no excuse for anyone to eat them. drink hot matcha tea instead.
cal: how dare you?? i've never uttered a single lie in my life. i'm an angel compared to you, slut puppy.
luke: do it. i dare you.
luke: 100% good and so worth the high sugar intake. hot matcha tea? i'd rather die. you'll never catch me drinking anything matcha. ever.
luke: another lie. wow, you're just really outing yourself as a compulsive liar here. :// pls i'm not a slut.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i dunno, i feel like there's still a lot of stuff i could say to make this revenge plot even better.
cal: u eat those gross throat lozenges like candy so that already proves my point.
cal: ten years is a long time. i can't believe i was once innocent before you deviants corrupted me. good times.
luke: i'll screenshot it and send it to ur mum.
luke: they're good. plus, as the lead singer, i figure i have some type of excuse to be eating them 24/7.
luke: you?? innocent?? ur a filthy liar.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: you're welcome. i feel like you've brought this on yourself after so much oversharing about you and ash. consider it revenge. and i've not even said anything explicit, yet, so it sounds like a you problem to me.
cal: nope. the delusion is strong in you.
cal: it's true.
luke: don't need to say anything explicit. the work is done and now u can keep ur fantasies to yourself.
luke: not my problem you can't handle the truth.
luke: i mean, probably??
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: not to me, mate. steamy.
cal: you like gross things so you have no right to slander matcha's good name like that. besides, it's healthy.
cal: i can't remember, it happened so long ago.
luke: it's only 1.5 hours into the new day and you've already managed to make me gag three ( 3 ) different times with this conversation.
luke: everything i like is good, so no idea what ur talking about there.
luke: pfft.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: because i don't want to. let me enjoy my fantasies pls.
cal: matcha is great and it's not my fault your taste is shit. i'm glad ur suffering, u deserve it.
cal: true. i've only liked you like one time in ten years.
luke: gross.
luke: it's GROSS. i'm convinced you've all banded together to lie about how good it is. tastes like death.
luke: when was that?
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: why would i do that??
cal: true. because you deserve it.
cal: never. that's our whole dynamic as frenemies.
luke: why not??
luke: wouldn't even let me talk about how gross matcha is. now i gotta keep it all in and suffer.
luke: enemies **
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: don't worry, i'm saving all the juicy details for myself. u don't deserve them.
cal: absolutely and i will fight u on that.
cal: you're always out of whack tho so it's not really a valid excuse.
luke: try a cold shower, mate.
luke: you fight me on EVERYTHING sooooo
luke: quit calling me out. you're ruining my french vanilla fantasy.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: i haven't even told you what i'm really thinking about doing to his abs tho
cal: i think it's a very reasonable argument to make.
cal: why? it's only 10pm and it's not a school night, dad.
luke: anything you say next can and will be repeated to my therapist.
luke: do u really??
luke: listen, i might have forgotten that timezones are a thing. it's nearly 2am here so i'm all out of whack. oops.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: he's a beautiful, beautiful man. my mental images about his abs aren't gross btw.
cal: i know, i'm v good.
cal: this is one for the history books.
luke: they're gross to me so ... :)
luke: i wouldn't go that far.
luke: go to sleep, dickhead.
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: you could grate cheese on jack's abs so
cal: i dunno, i can be pretty persuasive when i wanna be
cal: i'm just going to enjoy it since it happens to rarely.
luke: that's what happens when you make a gym routine and stick to it. gross mental image tho.
luke: yeah, that's pretty true.
luke: a rare moment!
( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )
cal: don't worry, you get to sit next to Jack. you're very lucky.
cal: i'm still trying to court Adam Lambert so i'll wait for his response first.
cal: wow, u acknowledging reality. how refreshing.
luke: i said someone hot. >:(
luke: adam lambert is way out of our range so good luck.
luke: don't get used to it.