tired of living.

+Luke i've never hated breathing more than i do today. [TW: self harm/depression.]

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"Had a four hour anxiety and panic attack just from goin' to a fuckin' party. I really don't want to live like this anymore."

[lukewatsonn-blog]

So, my mother went out and left me alone with a few bottles of beer for my birthday and the mother of the year award goes to noah's mother

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

Sam smiled at him and nodded “Sure I really don’t care, get comfortable, go crazy I won’t mind. Think of it like you were getting vacations or something” she looked at him and sigh “By the way, my name is Samantha” 

[lukewatsonn-blog]

Luke took advantage of the whole -- get comfortable offer. He stripped off his shirt which he wouldn't have done if his arms weren't wrapped in medical bandages. "--'m Luke." he put his hand out to shake hers, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

[lukewatsonn-blog]

Boy Next Door // Luke & Gabriel

[disastrous-unknowns-blog]

Gabriel was supposed to go to the club tonight.  He was supposed to DJ as usual, but he wasn’t feel up for it.  It’s not that he felt sick, he just wasn’t feeling up for it.  He didn’t feel like going out and being around a bunch of people and loud music.  He loved music, of course, that’s why he spent his time making mixes and DJing; he planned to be a producer one day.  He had already made a good bit of mixes, some that are now popular down at the clubs, but he wasn’t where he wanted to be yet.  He’d never give up on it, though.  

He decided he would go out to his backyard with his puppy.  He had just gotten a puppy a few weeks ago.  He was the most precious puppy in the world, at least to Gabriel.  He had gotten outside, allowing the puppy to run around in the fenced in backyard, when he heard his neighbor singing.  Gabriel’s ears immediately perked up, but before he really heard much, the male stopped.  He looked back at his puppy, who was running around having fun, before walking over to the fence, peaking over at the male.

They had been neighbors for a long time, but Gabriel never made a move to interact with him, and neither did the other male.  He had seen him a few times, but he knew nothing about him.  He didn’t even know he played guitar or sung until tonight.  As he looked over, the male was facing away from him, slightly hunched over.  Gabriel waited a few moments before clearing his throat a bit.  When the male turned his head quickly to look over at him, Gabriel bit at his inner lip, “That was good— You write that yourself or?”

[lukewatsonn-blog]

Luke jumped -- startled. He straightened up and pulled down the sleeves past his wrists and nodded slowly. He had to admit; he felt embarrassed. No one was suppose to be hearing him sing. Especially not his neighbour who he saw every day, but didn't dare say a word. He swallowed thickly, awkwardly tugging at a lose string at the end of his jumper. "S'not good. Just a-.." he shrugged his shoulders, now turning his head to his neighbour. "I just got bored so I wrote it. So, it's just a joke, I guess." he talked loud enough for the man to hear him. He stared for a moment, admiring him. He always saw Gabriel leaving at this time of night, so he was a bit surprised that they were even speaking right now. He broke the eye contact, now looking on the ground. Attempting to lighten the mood a bit, he began to act a bit more playful rather than acting boring -- which came naturally; "Do you always sneak up on people like that or am I just special?"

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

“You need the money and I am going to be alone the whole week because my parents are in Paris right now and I don’t like to be alone in such a huge mansion. I promise you won’t regret it” 

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"Y-Yeah.. I'll do it. Am I allowed to smoke?"

[targasnow]

x

[lukewatsonn-blog]

Boy Next Door // Luke & Gabriel

Luke strummed his guitar lazily, his mind clearing as his body relaxed. he looked down at the paper next to him with a few lyrics written down. Even though they were good lyrics, he still felt disappointed in himself which was nothing new. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to sing;

“I’m giving up this whole lie, this whole me. Call it out like a family — Stood up at my time to get it right, until the rubber leaves the road. You said don’t lie, so I made the truth. Seem like a lie to even you. Control your free, it’s clear that you do not know where you’re going to.”

He stopped singing and brushing his fingers over the strings of his guitar when his voice cracked. Angrily, he stomped his foot and tugged his brown curls with his hand. It wasn’t even worth it — doing what he loved because in reality, he wouldn’t get anywhere. Coffee shops denied him, when he tried to sing in public he’d immediately get kicked out. He sighed quietly and set his guitar aside to roll up his sleeves. No one was looking; he thought — and if someone was watching, he wouldn’t dare role up his sleeves due to the endless amount of scars being revealed.

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

Looks at him raising one of her eyebrows “I’ll tell you what, I give you more than that, but you would have to stay with me the whole week.

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"That's so fucking cree--.. Why?"

[leis-denewton]

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

“Well I was trying to be nice, but anyway how much do you want for one night? ” winks at him. 

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"Don't wink at me, please." he sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "500 if you're rich. If not, then just 100."

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

“Didn’t you want some extra money?”

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"Yeah, but I said sex."

[la-lightsrp-deactivated20150804]

“Mmm I’ll pay you if you help me with my global homework”

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"--Ehm.. No."

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"How would someone go about having sex for money? I really need some extra money."

[desirablexones-deactivated20130]

“I can give you that.” she looked at him and sighed. “I have plenty of money. Giving you enough to get your gun won’t hurt.”

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"I don't want you fuckin' money, okay?"

[lukewatsonn-blog]

please tell me which part of yourself you hate the most so I know exactly where to plant my lips every time I see you

[disnnnnnnnnnnni-deactivated2013]

“Nope, i am not. But that’s why i have imagination.” she shrugged.

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"--sounds more like something you'd roleplay in bed."

[bifoliate-deactivated20140821]

“Woah, relax dude. Can’t you just ask your parents for money? Or don’t you have a job or something?”

[lukewatsonn-blog]

"--'m sorry. I'm just frustrated. If I ask my mother for money, she'll think I'm buying cigarettes, razors or spray paint. I do have a job but it doesn't pay good."