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[lulululucky-blog]

Day 2: To All the People I’ve Loved Before, Part I

*IMPORTANT INFORMATION* Most of this story is based on my real life, but certain parts are fictitious.

My first crush happened when I was three. I was in kindergarten in my home country and had just gotten over the “I’m not gonna leave the house no matter what you say” stage. There were equal numbers of boys and girls in the class, so the teacher decided that she’s gonna pair everyone up with another person from the other sex. I was his partner.

As a three-year-old, I didn’t know that the word “love” can be applied to someone other than your parents and your favorite art teacher, for example, a boy. I never told him anything. As partners, we walk out of kindergarten holding each other's hands every day, we sit together on the school bus when there’s a school trip, and supposedly, we should take care of the two class bunnies together. But we didn’t. He was sick when we’re supposed to take over our mascots, so I took the two blobs of fluff back home.

It was fine at first, but after three minutes of watching them chew on cabbage and carrots, they started sleeting. If anyone here had taken care of rabbits, you know what I mean. Though I already put a whole stack of newspaper under their cages, it was no use. Soon there’s water on the living room floor. Dad quickly brought another stack, but they were soaked a few minutes later. We ended up using all of the newspaper at home to take care of those sleeting rabbits. It was years later when I realized that you’re not supposed to feed your bunnies fresh vegetables and you should feed them dry pellets and have an additional water source. But it was my first experience and I guess that’s how people learn.

My first crush ended with me growing up and graduating kindergarten. Like other friends I made in kindergarten, I lost contact with him. I still remember what I called him and the scene of him sitting next to me on the school bus when we’re out on a trip, but he’s gone from my life forever, and I can’t remember much of him anymore because I hit my head when I was five and lost a lot of memories from my early childhood.

To M, and all my tender feelings for him.

[lulululucky-blog]

My First Day On Tumblr

I just updated my MacBook with Mojave and set my system to the cool black color I’ve always wanted. I have my mug next to my computer, 3/4 full with lychee-flavored Calpico. Nobody else is in this public study room. Great. 

I typed “T-u-m-b-l-r” in my Google search bar, and clicked on the first link that showed up. I entered my email, my password, and a user name that looked kinda cool. When I disabled all the newbie guides on my front page and clicked on the little pen icon on the top right corner, I hesitated. 

I was excited to write this whole morning. I was thinking about one of my teachers’ advice to start a blog when I was dressing, and I was thinking about what I can write about my 17-years-long life when I was walking back from lunch.

I entered the title: “To All the People I Loved Before”, a potential story for all my secret crushes. Then I stopped. Something is wrong. Not about my potential masterpiece, but about where I am. I had my back to the water machine and the door. People could see what I’m writing if they walk into the room. Not safe. I need a better spot. I looked around. The seat right across from me looks nice. I moved my comfortable rolling chair and my laptop over, and deleted my great love story. I clicked my delete key a few more times and started writing about what happened in the past five minutes.