(fandom update and appreciation)
These past months daily life has taken over and lead me into a fandom hiatus. After the end of twitter as we knew it I kinda lost connection and tbh it has been refreshing. While I've always kept to my own corner and away from big drama, just being in fandom on social media these days has pulled me down and I probably burned myself out over it (again).
During my break I rediscovered that I can actually enjoy things casually (I'm still playing Pokémon and started watching Winter Begonia), and that I can both consume and create things just for myself to enjoy without the constant internal pressure of seeking engagement dopamine.
But now I'm at a point where I'm starting to miss all the good fandom stuff (meaning YOU guys out there!). I miss seeing your Xie'er hcs, your Sleuth memes and the JGY protection squad, and I'm glad that fandom always perseveres and I can simply come back after a break and y'all are still doing what you're doing. ❤️
So, what's new? Well, after intentionally ignoring it for the past years, I'm getting sucked into TGCF right now. I watched the 2nd donghua season as it aired and wanted to know more, so I finally continued reading it. I'm also doing that very slowly and am currently in the middle of the 3rd book.
I've been reading some fic, watching videos and I know myself enough by now to see the pattern of falling into a new thing. It's both enticing and scary to once more get into something with a big following. I really love the experience of being in small, committed fandoms, but there's also something really cool about the sense that there's an infinite amount of fan content out there waiting for you. Also, the specific danger of being tempted by MERCH I can buy in an actual STORE where I live!?! Haven't had that in over 20 years. (Yes, MDZS has merch here, too, but none that I care about 😅).
For now I'm still trying to be casual about it and avoid spoilers (I know the vague plot lines, that shit will only keep going downhill, and who's behind BWX - I guess that's hard not to learn by fandom osmosis- but I'm looking the other way whenever any details come up.)
Maybe I'll start posting some reactions as I keep going through the novels, but I don't want to feel like I'm reading it for content. Probably I'll feel the urge to write fic in the future, and my prediction is that I'll find myself in the Junlian corner (Unhealthy, one-sided obsession with a power imbalance? When have I ever resisted that!).
I've also been doing some casual doodling, which has been fun. Here's a tiny little XL for anyone who read through all of this:
Oh, and on the note of doing things very slowly - Yes, I still have plans to finish the Jia Kui/Wang Zhi/Ding Rong fic I started writing... ehm, a year ago? 🙃 I'm just beginning to feel motivated again, and it's almost done, so there's hope. 我还在!
All of that to say - old and future fandom friends, I appreciate you! Do come talk to me, here or on discord, about TGCF or Winter Begonia or any of my previous fandoms. I'm looking forward to seeing what all of y'all have been up to!