let your stars fall.

indie hakuno kishinami / adored by sal.

[godhoarder]

hey hey it’s sal making impulse decisions once again!! this week’s mishap being a blog for an original character of original lore, an entity known in their prime as kroah, a once well-respected entity thought to be royalty in a realm full of all kinds of otherworldly and powerful cosmic abominations, now simply known as godie! one half of three that made the former being, and the essential runt of the litter in terms of intelligence and general…feralness, newly awakened and seeking their other selfs to eat in order to become kroah once again. they have rotten luck however and thus very little idea as to where their ‘kin’ are and so is stuck wandering about, fighting and stuffing the occasional godly being into their unnatural briefcase to eat at a later date. if they at all sound appealing then kindly like / reblog this post!!

[lunardamaged-blog]

astradar·:

their meeting was never ordained by the stars, neither is the contract binding Master to Servant—NPC to system admin. he is the silent guardian summoned to safeguard highly sensitive material locked within the Moon Cell, a fail-safe were someone arrogant enough to strongarm their way to victory. yet by all accounts he is disobeying his single function. by some inexplicable changed course, he finds himself fighting upon her behalf and dispensing justice over those unworthy to continue ( ironically this too is a form of systemic culling, the act of prevention the safest option ). he considers her a peculiar lifeform, garnering an inkling of her true nature since the moment they met. truthfully, he should have eliminated her on sight: her existence threatens the balance established by the Moon Cell, and her inability to perform to her function is enough reason to warrant deletion. further analysis, however, eventually deems her hardly a threat and he makes the executive decision to refrain, serving as the silent adjudicator should she reject her nature. but now—

an unfeeling gaze casts down upon the curled girl, analyzing the peculiar gesture of agonizing over one’s fragile existence; it matters little to him, yet he remains observant to her pain. eyes narrow at the pitiful sight, her horrid performance fooling none save for herself. existential dread is as foreign a concept to him as the false masquerade she dons, as if it matters to him the burdens she carries.

perhaps it does.

❝emotional levels: abnormal… requesting: status update.❞ Berserker’s voice is always level, giving away nothing of himself because there is nothing to give: like a mannequin performing humanity, cold as the expansive space that extends past the Moon Cell. it matters little whether he once possessed an understanding of right from wrong, knowing only that those who dare to endanger the sanctity of his assigned domain will face judgement in due course, Master included. still, an inkling of the quintessential something lurks miles below, pulsating irregularly against the pristine systems maintaining his cyber frame—it’s the push that beckons him to approach.

❝…❞ he places a hand on her head, tousling chestnut locks ever so slightly. ❝…❞

Much like the servant’s voice, the gesture of seemingly trying to comfort her holds a hollowness to it. A hollow act that still causes hazel eyes to widen briefly, looking up to him with an awkward expression, the strings she’d tied to keep her facade in place coming undone once again. She’s not as pitiful looking though, she thinks anyway.  

Perhaps calling the comfort Berserker offered hollow was a bit of a lie, it was in a sense cold and felt robotic, yes, but there was a small warmth to it. It was often times vague, but there was a difference between the way her servant treated her now versus the behavior of just some weeks ago. His gaze held less contempt Hakuno had found for one thing, and he seemed just a tad bit agitated when an enemy attempted harming her rather than him. In a way, she found the odd pact they held rather fitting. Both so awkward with emoting, her cause of suffering from too much stress to really function properly, and him cause he was beyond out of touch with whatever humanity he possessed or had once possessed. Technically though, if anyone should have spoken in such a mechanical way, shouldn’t it have been her? She was more a digital organism than human, after all. “You know, when one does something like patting another’s head to console them, they’ll usually say “there, there” or something to that effect.” Relatively useless advice offered more to amuse herself than anything, but she did have to admit, she sometimes felt awkward when all he did was look at her without speaking at times.

Sighing, and quite dramatically so, Hakuno softly pushed the servant’s hand away from her, slumping back in the chair she sat in as she thought. This really was tiring, this blatant and aggravating self-pity was the worst thing she’d felt in a while, and she’d been poisoned just three weeks ago. “I’m sorry you have to see your already lame master act even lamer. I’m just tired. I’ll be fine come tomorrow.” If she was trying to reassure her companion or herself, she could hardly tell, her judgment still locked in a cloud of fog within her mind. She had to pull herself out of this funk, lock these wretched thoughts and questioning of her humanity away, throw the key and the box alike deep into a sea. Even when she’d found out the truth, she still held onto her need to win, changing her wish from getting away from this place to wanting to end this grail war once and for all. “I swore I’d put this ridiculous game to an end, remember? So I can’t allow myself to give up, not when I’m so close.” A pause, looking back to her servant with a small spark in her eyes more fitting of her. “And I’d totally die if I let you down.”

[sacredwhores]

Chris Marker - The Koumiko Mystery (1965)

[chronic-life]

[phantomemes]

sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .

“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”

“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”

“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”

“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”

“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”

“ you can live in the cave ”

“ i’m a big fan of your name ”

“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”

“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”

“ because i’m a masochist ”

“ i’m going to regret this ”

“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”

“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”

“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”

“ cowards  ,  all of you ”

“ i’m strange and off putting ”

“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”

“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”

“ i hate bats ”

“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”

“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”

“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”

“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”

“ i think i’m gonna cry ”

“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”

“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”

“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”

“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”

“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”

“ were you making horse noises ? ”

“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”

“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”

“ well this is horrifying ”

“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”

“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”

“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”

“ you talk to hide from the silence ”

“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”

“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”

“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”

“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”

“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”

“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

[lunardamaged-blog]

were it two years ago when i had the energy for more than three blogs and had enough interest in his basis to actually research it, i’d have made a charlemagne by now.

[lunardamaged-blog]

not to ramble on main but, though i wouldn’t quite qualify hakuno as a muse who follows any specific plot as she’s a more spontaneous muse, i do very much want to see a certain growth from her i feel that isn’t ever really shown in the games. post extra/ccc hakuno has always, for me at least, felt like someone at an odd stage in their life where they’re finally given the ability to grow as a person in a less hostile and stressed environment, but also given the chance to better deal their more mental troubles. as much as i am fond to extella and what it provides, i feel a bit saddened to see most of hakuno’s ptsd and harsh yet honest view of herself be shown so little if not outright forgotten.

though by then i would indeed say she’s got a better grasp of this whole ‘is free to exist in peace’ finally stuff and has a better mental space than she use to i’d also still say it’s a work in progress. she’s managing just fine but does exhibit an awkwardness with it. she’s not quite there yet but is trying to recover. for me personally and when i do write hak within extellaverse settings, she’s still socially awkward and often leaves an image of someone who somewhat hides behind her main servants. not necessarily in a ‘is dependent on them and thus can’t act unless they’re around’ sense but more so in a ‘doesn’t think herself suited for the task she’s been given sense’. most orders she has for servants contracted under her are often given to them by tamamo or archer, only occasionally does she give any face to face. she’s just a few steps shy of being a recluse honestly. 

which is perhaps why i adore her dynamic with charlemagne so much. there’s quite a few similarities between the two and the way they kind of just get under people’s skin in a wholly well meaning way. to put it simply, i imagine hakuno’s kind of getting a taste of her own medicine over the course of them fighting alongside each other and becoming friends. rather than her be the one to hold someone’s hand and drag them along, she’s the one having her hand held and getting dragged. another case of similar disposition/issues when it comes to relationships with hakuno is her dynamic with arjuna. though hakuno gets along with just about anybody, it is easier for her to grow fond of those of a calmer nature, and the fact they both fit the socially awkward category just means hakuno imprints on him even faster. i could say more but this is already much longer than i expected i just fhgfdhf. i love hakuno’s dynamics with sharuru and arjuna very much ok both on their own and as a silly little trio i’d die for all three.

[lunardamaged-blog]

sb: whats extella link abt me, someone who hasn’t actually played the game(yet), thinking of three characters and three only: Local Bubbly Extrovert Befriends Reserved Introverts??

[lunardamaged-blog]

u know ur a moon kid’s favorite when they offer u snacks from their private stash of all kinds of junk food courtesy of their dad friends.

[lunardamaged-blog]

hak dissociates and all that plays in the bg of their mind is this vid

[lunardamaged-blog]

nan/a kom/atsu would be a rlly cute hakuno just sayin,,,

[lunardamaged-blog]

@astradar

The downtime that followed after a round of the War was an ironic godsent gift. For a few hours, one was allowed to momentarily decompress from the stress of a merciless battle royale, just before having to shove one’s self back into a hellish test of survival and skill. For five weeks she’d done rather well to make it so far, now with only two more trials to suffer through. She was close, so close to ending it all, so why did now have to be the time Hakuno felt most bothered? She knew why, but why? Why had a revelation she already suspected cause her scrambled thoughts to be more chaotic, cause an increased weight upon her shoulders and an inkling of dread? She made it this far, so this weakness felt all the more pointless!

But didn’t that make sense? A weak existence would feel hopeless. Not only was she a subpar mage, but she didn’t even make half a human too. A vile feeling in the pit of her stomach was all she felt as the past week’s events resurfaced in her memory. This wasn’t right. She had to get these unpleasant thoughts and emotions under control soon, lest she cause her will to grow frail. Or concern her servant. Speaking of him, Hakuno slowly turned to look at her companion, holding back the urge to groan when she saw he was watching her. She felt like she was being studied by some cat with an awfully intense gaze. “Hm, do I have something on my face, or are you tired? You’re making quite the face, Berserker-chan.” Stubbornly she’d bury her thoughts as much as possible, tape back together her mask of being fine with a smile. Her thoughts were meddlesome and her’s alone, she needn’t involve him in her internalized drama.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

How to. Begin again, to begin again.

Elaine Feinstein, from “The Circle,” originally published c. October 1970 (via violentwavesofemotion)

[lunardamaged-blog]

@astradar​ said: pats her head lots

Try as she might to not wear what can only be described as a cheshire grin, not much can stand between Hakuno and the immediate fondness that fills her chest when shown affection, especially from one of her most favorite people no less! "Aah, no fair A-chan! You know I can't get back at you!" Any servant master formalities are promptly thrown out the window (hardly ever present with one like her in the first place) with a laugh like a child that knows nothing but happiness, referring to a dear friend with a nickname one might consider far too cute for his cool image.

Gently she swats at his hand, a playful smile on her face as she stands on the very tips of her toes. She's still shorter than him, but through extending her arm as much as she can, Hakuno's able to return the favor of patting his head. "Technically, I'm the master here, so I should be the one doing something like giving headpats!" She all but continues to smile and laugh every now and then as she looks up at him. Certainly, she's a child incapable of containing her adoration for one of her best friends.

[lunardamaged-blog]

it’s no secret that hakuno suffers from a truckload of self worth issues and has an at times rocky sense of self love, so it’s important that she expresses an obvious fondness for friends and just those around her. it’s exceedingly important to her that her friends feel happy and know just how much she loves them as she at times feels very loveless / undeserving of it. over the course of the original extra games, it gets better and is relatively gone or manageable by extella verses, but even so, she has no qualms with all but drowning her friends in her fondness.

her habit of displaying so much affection is also a result of her just simply not being familiar with friendships. at times her uncontained affection likely does get to be too much for some, as hakuno can just radiate the stuff at times, so it’s equal parts simple habit and trying to figure out when to stop it. as someone who has been looked down on a lot in the past though, she still believes it best to be honest with how much she likes those who keep her company, with those who continuously stay beside her despite all her oddities as both a unique existence and one who treats just about anyone as an equal. she’s just full of so much love.

[lunardamaged-blog]

hakuno only has one saber and one archer and their names are charlemagne and arjuna no u can not change my mind

[lunardamaged-blog]

astradar·:

keen eye pierces beyond a haphazard veil, scrutinizing gestures ‘till he gathers courage to question the hand that delivers. ❝forgive me for my impertinence, Master, but I cannot help but cast doubt to your words.❞ were Arjuna the same man of several weeks ago, he might accept the abundance of giggles as negligible passings irrelevant to his function; alas, the time of war has long-since reached its course and the reluctant becomes inexplicably conjoined to the hip by one Saber and one lunar child. ❝if I am be frank, you make for a rather poor liar.❞

A soft 'tch' sound is all Hakuno utters as she is called out, face momentarily dropping from the archer's more than correct deduction. "So I've been told..." She was a lot of things but a good actor was not one if her lying skill were anything to go by, all it took was a one second glance of doubt and her already poor defenses would turn to dust. "You know how you've been busy the last few days? Me and Charlie got bored without you around and..." Slowly she'd grab her phone from her coat pocket, swiping her index finger about as she opened the gallery of pictures it had on it. "We started messing around with some pictures and put things on some. The one we really liked was this one." Anxiously she'd turn the screen to show to Arjuna, a picture Charlie had taken of both a while back, now newly edited with cat like features on him.

"He's probably been laughing cause of this. Not in a bad way, of course! It's just...you look really cute with the cat filter!"