her fingers trace the edges of the wounds in a delicate, and precise manner. no more shaking, no more fear. he can feeel it—the hesitation melting away and curiosity replacing the panic that had previously ambushed her, churning her into someone he'd never seen before. she's much calmer and it's a relief, to say the least. though he's still a bit worried for her current pysche: a trauma response and a crack in reality couldn't be healthy for one night.
thankfully she doesn't recoil—trusts her own hands before she trusts her eyes and his words. he can't blame her, he supposes he would have done the same.
"...i know you don't understand, that's because your assumptions are entirely reasonable and you're trying to fit this into a framework that doesn't exist." he realizes his words answer her confusion more than her question, which could multiply that confusion. "or does exist, but doesn't in your world or, at least, it shouldn't." he's rambling now, using speech as a distraction to put off the haplessness of repeating himself. he finds that asking someone for help is the most humiliating experience in the entire world, and that includes the mild seduction of rollerblading.
he watches the impossible register across her face. the tiny movements behind her eyes as the world rearranges itself into something else. it occurs to him, belatedly, that there is no graceful way to dismantle someone's understanding of reality. "i'm— let's just say, my biological structure no longer matches yours." maybe he should have started somewhere else...
her laugh catches him off guard. brief. involuntary. enough that the corner of his mouth threatens movement before he remembers himself.
then—sex. the suggestion reaches him several seconds late. for one suspended moment, sidd merely blinks at her. his brain, despite the blood loss, makes the entirely unnecessary decision to imagine it anyway: with her. in the bathroom... drenched in blood.
he has to physically turn his face away from her to rid himself of those thoughts.
"listen... i appreciate the confidence." or lack of confidence since he's quick to pick up on the realization that he had apparently needed to arrive half dead before the subject could be mentioned at all. there was something profoundly undignified about that... another breath. "but i'm currently operating at a significant circulatory deficit."
a pause. "under different circumstances, perhaps." he shouldn't have said that. "i would be remiss if we didn't revisit that topic of conversation in the morning when i've regained my strength." he shouldn't have said that either. a pause. "…under the current circumstance, i'm mostly trying to remain conscious." the humor fades as quickly as it arrived. not rejected. simply set aside.
she asks him to stop making her guess. fair.
his eyes close for a second. "i promise you, i'm not attempting to be unclear." a pause. "i'm trying to figure out how to explain something that sounds absurd even when it's true."
he shifts carefully, one hand braced against the floor as the remaining cuts continue their slow, unpleasant work of closing. the blood around them stays stubbornly red. the blood inside him stays absent. his gaze returns to hers. steady. tired. he explains,"the wounds heal eventually." he nods once toward his chest. "my body can repair itself over time, it's part of the gift." a faint shake of his head. "but i can't replace what it's already lost, that's why i'm still weak. that's why you had to carry me here."
he lets the sentence settle before continuing. his breathing has evened somewhat, though every inhale still carries an unmistakable weakness beneath it. "i don't need stitches, though i appreciate the effort." another beat. "i just need to replace what's lost."
finally— he forces himself to say the part that has lodged somewhere behind his ribs since he'd collapsed against her door. "...and i was optimisitc..." the words resist him with embarrassing determination. he has collected debts from men twice his size without flinching. threatened lives. negotiated impossible arrangements. somehow none of it compares to this. "...that you'd help me acquire some," a heavy sigh, "blood that is."