sometimes all you need to do is scream

"the moon has taught me there is beauty in the darkness, that even when i don't feel whole, i am enough" abby - veritas isle bog

[astrasalis]

Are the answers you're searching for really worth possibly losing your life to get? He wanted to laugh, to cry, to rip all the roots in the earth straight out. He wanted nothing more than to give up his life. He does not know why he was saved, why he's here taking up space. So yes, yes, he would be willing to risk it all to look the person in the who decided he would live, he would belong to them and them alone. "I was saved, I don't know why, I don't know who, and I would like to. I would like to know who I sold my body and mind to." He looks up at the other, lips pressed thin together. "Does that answer your question?"

[lunarrbxnshee]

The features on their face soften, though she does try not to break character, this was starting to feel wrong. She doesn’t look at him, she can’t. She knows if she does, she will only be filled with guilt. Tricks were supposed to be fun, this didn’t feel fun anymore. This felt like she was starting to cross a line, but why’d she even care? It wasn’t like she ever saw half the people she met ever again, one harmless trick wouldn’t matter down the line. So why did she care?

Her foot gently ran across the water, destroying her reflection that had once been there. “I suppose,” she finally responded, her voice much softer, barely audible. Crossing her ankles, she allowed the air to float her down into a sitting position, her gaze once again finding the new reflection slowly rippling in. The thought of a kelpie being here; watching, waiting for the perfect moment to drag her under with them crossed her mind. She pushed it away. “I wish I could help you,” her tone was genuine, and more clear as she tried to regain her confidence. “But you and I both know I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

[astrasalis]

starter: closed @lunarrbxnshee muses: holden + damir location: damir's home

He's cold, he's the coldest he's ever been. He should go home, he knows he should check on Shep and Jane, and he will, but he needed to see them, he needed to know they were both still here. Something yawned inside of him, this great big black hole that stunk of grief and horror. He didn't know when i showed up, he didn't know how to get rid of it, it just grew and grew as his memory came apart like frayed fabric.

He doesn't bother knocking, just pushes his way through the front door, his heart thundering in his chest. "Dami? Hugo?" Holden closes the door behind him, calling out again as he makes his way down the hall to his friend's bedroom. It's cracked open, like it always is, like it always, like it always--he pauses at the door, held breath before pushing it all the way open. "Dami?"

[lunarrbxnshee]

He couldn’t recall how long he had been home, time was going by so fast, or was it going by slow? He didn’t know, everything just felt so wrong. He was sure hours had went by of him searching for Hugo, anywhere he could think, but he never found him. Then Holden, but he had the same outcome. Surely one of them would have known what happened, why his memory was nothing but a blur. Why his phone was no where to be found. Why he had woken up in a totaled, burnt car. Why he felt like his body was on fire. Like he could combust at any moment.

Was it Hugo’s car? It looked like his car, at least what was left of it. Hugo wasn’t there though. He wasn’t anywhere. So why was he the only thing that stood out in his memory? Why did it seem both of his friends were missing?

He’d come home, in hopes that at least one of them had shown back up and he’d just gotten unlucky the first time, but nothing. He had paced his room for what felt like hours, confusion, anxiety, and anger bubbling, bubbling, bubbling up until-

His trashcan was on fire. Or at least the notebook inside it was. It was spreading though, and the smell of burning plastic began to fill the room. He could feel his heart begin to race, panic, however he didn’t move. He just stood there, watching the flames burn. How-

He nearly jumped out of his own skin when he heard another voice, turning to find his door now open. “Holden! Oh my god, you’re-” almost all at once, his senses came crashing back. The crackling of the fire, the smell of the plastic burning. “Shit, give me a second.” He worked quickly, grabbing a few half empty water bottles he had lying around, unscrewing the caps and pouring each one into the trashcan until only smoke billowed out.

He let out a sigh, thankful it was out before again remembering his friend was here. He was here. He quickly turned on his feet, wincing as he caught a whiff of the smoke. “Ignore that,” he said sheepishly. “Where have you-” his words trailed off as he caught an actual look at his best friend. His mouth felt dry, dryer than it already did. Why did he look like that? Why did he- “what the hell happened to you?”

[shadowandbonecentral]

JACK WOLFE for Schön! Magazine

[cinematv]

Hazel in the background at the fair

BOTTOMS (2023) dir. Emma Seligman

[arcanegate]

[hotcelebritymenilike]

The Thing About Harry and Grey’s Anatomy star Niko Terho

[dirtbagdefender]

BARRETT DOSS in THE NOEL DIARY (2022)

[katherine-mcnamara]

[mortispbf]

[astrasalis]

He's irritated, he's trying not to be, but they're making it difficult. He didn't want to be made a fool of, no matter how pretty they looked in the sunshine. Finch watches the faerie, caution in his eyes as she steps around him towards the water. Something grips his heart in a cold vise, he makes the mistake of taking a step back, away from her and the water. Have you ever seen a kelpie before? Or just read about them? Did he make a mistake coming here? Possibly. But he was here now, and in truth, he didn't have much to lose did he?

"I suppose that depends entirely on you," he forces more courage in his voice than he currently possesses, "What do you want?" He should know what kind of price he's looking at before making the deal. He won't make the same mistake twice.

[lunarrbxnshee]

Her eyebrows furrow together slightly as he takes a step back, not in surprise. She isn’t surprised one bit, more so in concern. Her intention isn’t to scare him, or no, maybe it is. Not that she wants him to be afraid of her, more so of the dangers of trusting a stranger. Or thinking they’d be so kind as to help someone out because of a simple trade. That was the problem with the faeries though, wasn’t it? They could easily make themselves look innocent, look like a kind, helpful soul. Then when you’re most vulnerable, they turn on you. Not all fae were like that, but she had learned rather quickly that many were mischievous, would do whatever they could to get what they want. Was that what she was doing right now?

“What do I want?” She repeated the question, thinking it over, before fully turning her attention back to the water. They were silent for a moment, watching her own reflection ripple across the water. “What I want,” she began after a moment, “is to know why you’ve come out here. I don’t mean what answers you want, I mean why. After everything that’s been said about Kelpies, why would you go searching for one? When they’re more likely to kill you before even having a chance to ask what it is you want to know.” She paused for a moment, the air around them suddenly still. “Are the answers you’re searching for really worth possibly losing your life to get?”

[astrasalis]

"Why don't you let Em worry about that? It's his club." He can't help the sigh that escapes him, he understands it's futile to argue with Rhys at this point. He was a magnet for chaos, he wasn't sure why, but it's been this way for as long as he could remember. Wherever their small group went, fire followed.

Wouldn’t it get boring not having to fix me up every night? He holds his gaze up until he drops it, something warm and lively bubbles in his stomach. He'd fix him up every night if it meant he got to touch him, if it meant his eyes stayed on him longer than fifteen seconds. "I don't want you buying me new clothes if it's just gonna get covered in blood again. Seems a waste if you ask me." He gives Rhys a knowing look at his response about being more careful in the future, mostly because he's said the same exact thing for the past twenty years and he has yet to get any better. "Maybe you weren't cut out for being a bouncer, maybe you were meant for something else, something bigger than Em's club."

He's staring, he knows it, he drops his gaze to the line of Rhys' nose to check it wasn't more out of place than usual. Charlie gently wipes at the last of the blood before ghosting the shape of his nose with his fingers. "Nah, it's not broken. Bruised maybe..." He finds those eyes again, his stomach warms. "You should ice it."

[lunarrbxnshee]

“And he’s my best friend,” he replies, though his tone stays soft. “He has enough to deal with, shouldn’t have to worry about the idiots in here too. It’s a responsibility I can deal with.” If deal with means getting his ass kicked from time to time, but still taking care of the problem, it was good enough for him. Someone had to take care of them, and he’d already taken on that responsibility many years ago. It was something he’d gotten used to at the point, something he wanted to make sure no one else had to deal with.

“Okay, that’s a fair point, I suppose,” he agreed, letting out a small sigh. He was grateful for Charlie though because it didn’t matter how badly he got hurt, or what the other had been doing in the moment, he was always there to help him. To fix up what wouldn’t be healed later. “Maybe I can pay for the dry cleaning from time to time.” Did that get the blood out? He hoped so. “Something bigger?” It was barely a question, because he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer. This had been his life for the past forty years, if there had been something else, he’d have found it by now. “I don’t know, Char. I think this is where I belong.”

His gaze returns to Charlie as he checks his nose, and as his eyes aren’t on him; just for a moment, he finds himself staring. Finds himself looking over each of the features on the others face, finds himself admiring each of them. Remembers that night. Then he blinks. What the hell is he doing? “Yeah,” he begins, clearing his throat. “Yeah, you’re right. I should probably text Em and let him know I’ll be out for a bit.”

[ghcstlyhearts]

closed starter for @lunarrbxnshee ( syd & lux ! )

Syd smirked slightly as the other entered the coffee shop, arching an eyebrow at the other. "Jaeger," She drawled, leaning across the counter with a smile. "What brings you to my establishment?"

[lunarrbxnshee]

Lux didn’t bother to suppress the groan that came from her lips as the other spoke. “Unfortunately, this place has some of the best coffee in town.” She replied, shooting the other a glare. “Part of me was secretly hoping you’d be out. Though I guess it isn’t a secret anymore.”

[lilyofthevvlley]

"No way! You could totally pull it off!," she said. "I bet it would come naturally." Delphine giggled, scrunching her nose as she shuffles the cards again. "I know it works, I even know how it works. Ms. Red showed it to me a few weeks ago when they docked, but my fingers just won't do it. Okay, okay, I'm going to reset it, what's been new for you?"

[lunarrbxnshee]

“You think so?” They asked with a smile. Truly, she couldn’t remember the last time she had even touched a deck of cards, maybe she could do some cool tricks if she really tried. “I’m sure you’ll get it, seems like something that’s just gonna take practice, but I believe in you.” She shrugged at the question. “Just the normal things really, work mostly, not that I mind. I love the job. Trying to get some new makeup designs down. What about you?”

[ghcstlyhearts]

"Sometimes," He admits, shrugging his shoulders. Though he'd often shared his partners in the past, dated multiple at once, he had a tendency to get a little jealous at times. "Kiss me."

[lunarrbxnshee]

“I don’t think occasionally being jealous is a bad thing,” she certainly couldn’t say she had never been jealous before. They could count a couples time they could remember. She cracked a smile at his suggestion. “Interesting idea,” she let her eyes linger to the other one last time, catching their gaze for a split moment. They know. “Let’s see how good it is.” She added as they looked back to Emrys before leaning in, gently pressing her lips to his.

[ghcstlyhearts]

closed starter for @lunarrbxnshee ( syd & utp ! )

"I need to take a raincheck on this conversation," Syd shook her head. "I mean, do you really think this is the place to talk about this?"

[lunarrbxnshee]

Tavi pursed their lips together at the other’s statement before letting out a sigh. “I mean, no probably not,” they agreed, “but to be fair, I’m not sure what the best place would be. You’re right though, let’s change the subject.”

[ghcstlyhearts]

closed starter for @lunarrbxnshee ( will & utp ! )

"Why are kids toys so agressively hetrosexual?" He asked, rolling his eyes. "Gotta make sure no one thinks the legos are gay."

[lunarrbxnshee]

“Cause clearly if they’re even a little gay, the whole world may burst into flames,” at least she was sure some people actually thought that, might as well. “They somehow think it’ll keep their kids from being gay when they’re older, like that’s how the world works.”

[ghcstlyhearts]

closed starter for @lunarrbxnshee ( liam & utp ! )

"This feels like a sudden attack on my person, but at least I’m hot so," Liam shrugged his shoulders, kicking at the skateboard, huffing as his foot went right through it.

[lunarrbxnshee]

“Yeah, at least you got that going for you, huh?” Dami chuckled lightly, shooting the other a sympathetic look as his foot went through. “As long as you’re hot, what else could go wrong, right?”