I’ve cut. I’ve starved myself. I’ve forced myself to throw up. I’ve attempted suicide a total of 19 times. Guess I didn’t really want to die. I am 18 years old. I am the oldest child in my family. I’ve had screaming matches with my parents. I don’t even know my biological father. My biological mother is.. still fucked up from whatever the hell took her hope away. I’ve been abused. I’ve almost been raped. I’ve watched people die. I’ve been the cause of someone’s pain. I’ve been the person someone caused pain to. I’ve lied. I’ve been lied to. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I have insomnia. I have nightmares. I love rock music, country, some pop, punk, etc. My taste is broad. I like watching tv and being on my phone. I like late night drives and going so far only static is on the radio. I like reading and escaping to someone else’s imagination. I like writing. I like singing though i’m not good. I dislike ignorance. I dislike hypocrisy though I am a hypocrite. I dislike authority. I am a hopeless romantic though I like to keep that secret. I’m a fucking bitch. I laugh, I cry, I fight, I mourn, I wake up, I sleep, I forgive and never forget. I find beauty in everything. I try to. I always try to save everyone else, though I know it’s impossible and I do want to give up sometimes. But my grandmother told me to never give up hope. I respect those who have earned it. Why am I telling you this? If you’ve taken the time to read to this point, thank you. I’m telling you this because I am human. I want you to know that. I am just another person. I am not above or below you. You may have gone through more than me, I may have gone through more than you. That’s irrelevant. Everyone is given the life only they can handle. Your emotions are valid. Your thoughts are valid. Your opinions are valid. YOU are valid. You are not alone. I don’t know how much I can do, but I will do anything I can. I fucking mean that. Anything. I don’t give a shit about your title, background, religion, race, gender, sexuality, who you’re related to, shit you’ve done in the past, etc. All I care about is your core. If you think your core is damaged and dark or whatever, I like you. If you think you’re the best person ever but still recognize that you’re human and have imperfections, I like you. If you think you’re perfect and truly believe there is nothing wrong at all, you’re delusional. But I like you. I don’t care. If you ever feel alone or your mind is getting too loud or everything is crashing down around you and you feel like you’re falling with the ashes.. Please please talk to me. Or maybe just say hey. We dont have to talk. Just say hi Neisha. That’s all I need. It could be all you need. Please. I’m here.
I’m sorry for any typos.
