I’m so tired of my mom. I’m trying to do things for myself and she won’t let me. That’s the reason I’m so controlling. I’m trying to live in my own apartment so I can do the things that I want to do. It’s like a crime for me to do things for myself. I can actually have sex when I want I don’t have to worry about when the house is going to be clean or when I know when no one is going to be home to catch us. I’m planning on changing my name because I want nothing to do with my family. All that they do is try to force everything they can on me.
I’m also trying to run away from their genes. Smoking and drinking isn’t gonna fix it. I’m trying to live on my own but my mom wants to continue babying me and making sure that I don’t do anything that I want. Everyone in this dumb ass family doesn’t know what they’re doing that’s why sometimes I wonder what would happen if my grandmother was still alive or even if my dad was in the picture. Maybe things would be a little smoother or maybe it wouldn’t.
All I’m trying to do is make my math and Spanish grades go to B’s. Doing a few more assignments every now and then aren’t gonna do any bad for me. Every assignment counts at this point. Drama isn’t gonna get me anywhere at this point I need to do everything I can while I go to Malcolm X after that I’m gonna go to a university. While I’m attending Malcolm X I’m gonna get a job or two so I can give myself the opportunity to do something extra along the way or I can go out of state to finish my degree.
I hate being me. I want to do so much but I don’t have enough time or money to do everything.
The two Thirty Seconds to Mars that I relate to the most right now are “Rescue Me” and “Hurricane”
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turnnoffyourmind
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