RUNAWAY (i)
“NEW ERA.” 4.5k words.
FEBRUARY WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT to y/n vergara's previous ones. the day was usually spent with flowers in her hands and gift bags surrounding her feet, the cutest valentine's day card on the coffee table and chocolates stacking in her fridge.
her living room was bare. echoing almost. to be fair - she still had things to unpack from the move, but still, she thought she'd at least have flowers to put on her coffee table.
she thought she'd be celebrating her fifth valentine's day with her other half, but here she was, officially moved out, basically on her own, technically single.
well, she wasn't really on her own as her arms occupied a happy, healthy 6-month-old who was growing by the day.
she was running late actually, needing to get him and herself ready, she had been too busy trying to shove the last box of belongings into her room so the nursery was free of mess.
she held the infant securely in one arm before shoving her crate of clothes into her new bedroom before entering her son's room - the only room completely furnished with its own personal touches of photo frames and the letter 'P' stuck to the wall, it was the most homiest room in the apartment.
her phone balanced on her shoulder and cheek on loud speaker, nodding along to her mother's words as she flicked through her son's wardrobe.
“—and some chocolates of course, more roses— oh! did i mention the handbag? my new handbag—”
“—wow, very cute mami, he does not disappoint," you pictured every item she received for valentine's, joe never failing to spoil her.
"—yes, he said he was trying to get your flowers to you today but the business closed unexpectedly so he said it might be a while!"
"—it's fine, mama, tell him not to worry. i haven't gotten flowers from dad either."
"—and pedri?"
"no, no flowers from pedri."
you heard her low gasp on the phone. "why?!"
you shrugged, forgetting she couldn't see you, "i don't know, i didn't expect some, anyway. he has more important things to worry about that i don't blame him for, i'm not bothered. " the line stayed quiet. "i have just over an hour to get ready and get paco ready, i should go."
"does he have a game today?"
"yes, although I don't know if he's even playing . ." you mumbled more so to yourself, "it's starts in about 2 hours so i'm kind of cutting it short here."
"that's ok, i just wanted to call and see how your valentine's was but it sounds like a pretty sad one to me."
you gawked at your phone at her bluntness.
"are you upset?"
"no!" you assured, holding up the cute, comfy set for paco to wear. "it's fine. i'd be more surprised if he had gotten me something."
"hmm, i still thought he would have gotten you something on behalf of your son," she mumbled, not impressed.
to be honest, you'd be lying if you said you didn’t too. he’d always gotten you flowers (alas, you were together) but, this was pedri you were talking about, stuff like that would fly over his head. "ma, this is pedri, i don't even think he realises valentine's has past, it is the least of his worries right now," you defended him.
"still."
you stared at the wall. "ok! well, going to go. i will maybe call later after the game. have a nice day, mami—"
"—gracias, honeyyy," she dragged, "kiss my handsome grandson for meee—"
you nodded and promised, ending the call so you could get ready.
you tried not to tell your mom too much about pedri-football-relationship stuff (at least any negatives) just because she could be pretty biased and didn't completely understand your lifestyles, certainly not pedri's, so talking to her sometimes about it was like talking to a brick wall. also, she rarely saw you, hardly saw pedri, so she failed to realise he wasn't always the version she encountered each time you visited her in the states during his time off. she never had to see stressed, angry and work-mode pedri.
you did replay her words though, how she had the same idea in mind when you thought you'd at least get some sort of delivery on behalf of your son.
after all, it was the thought that counts.
that was only why you would have liked something - as a gesture of the appreciation - for looking after your son. you didn't need a cartier ring or 20 bouquets of roses, a simple card through your door would have done the job.
and yet, here you were, trying not to overthink it before you were left with another wave of dejection.
he's injured, stop making this about you.
he has a muscle injury in his leg, he can write a card!
"come on my boy, let's get you ready," you huffed, the 6-month-old looking at you blankly through the gaps in his cot.
you were convinced he hated you too.
well, that was the dramatic side to you — you knew deep down he didn't hate you, you were his mama after all, but he definitely had a favourite and it certainly wasn't you. in fact, you were convinced the order of favouritism went dad, grandad and grandma, uncle fer, then you. he loved his abuelitos, you thought maybe he just liked being around guys, but then pedri's mom was definitely one of his favourites as she was the only one he would choose over his abuelito, and fer was pedri's clone so why wouldn't he be obsessed with him?
urgh. you didn't know. you loved him with every bone in your body and smothered him in kisses the minute he woke up but all he gave you is return was furrowed brows and a sore head from pulling your hair. you didn't know what the big deal was anyway – you had him a lot more than what pedri did and had more time to go out and do stuff with him, what was the big fuss about papi?!
that was the one thing he got from his mama - the infatuation with the footballer.
nothing else. "are we going to go see papa?" you crouched on the opposite side of the cot.
he had only turned 6 months on the 8th and was coming into his own little person. a spitting imagine of his papi for sure, no DNA test needed, but his personality was yet to be confirmed. he could just about sit up now and make unnecessarily loud noises - which rosy said pedri used to annoyingly do all the time - so, you had in mind it might not just be looks he was getting from his papa.
getting the two of you ready was no big deal, your regular routine if anything. before you knew it, you were trotting down the steps to the complex's parking lot, buckling your baby in his carrier before making your way to the stadium. it was a home game and an earlier match than usual so he was coming along for the day.
to be honest, you were bringing him as a pick-me-up for pedri after this month's recent events.
this time last week, you'd been here watching him score the winning goal, and the day after he'd told you how he'd picked up an injury from the same game. you were yet to find out how serious it was, but if it had anything to do with his hamstring, you knew it'd be a good lot of weeks.
you were nervous to see pedri in general. the last time you spoke, he was upset to say the least over this injury, and you were getting the wrath of it.
"—hola, mi guapo!" rosy's warm tone had your baby swinging his entire body around in your grip from the car park. his dummy immediately fell out from the smiles he was giving, melting her heart all over again. she felt like she’d stepped through a time machine back to 2002 the minute he’d been born.
"'tu guapo' was squealing and chirping the whole drive over," you informed her as the other two came over. she laughed as fer tried to take his nephew while his dad stole the baby's attention. paco adored pedri’s side of the family. he loved yours too, but he saw them a hell of a lot more than them, and he was obsessed.
"how are you, querida?" his mom sided with you as the boys took paco, knowing she would get her turn when the game started and they'd be jumping in the stands too much. she linked your arm as you made your way through the building with your passes, pedri's name and face on all of them.
"i'm okay, how are you? how is pedri? have you heard anything? can he play or is it that serious?"
barca were having a pretty good season so far, which came with a lot of sacrifices, but evidently worth it. they still suffered losses but there had been more wins than defeats this 2022-2023 season which was great, however, pedri had picked up an injury which almost overwrote the positives; the 20-year-old's presence made a big impact on the team.
it was an hour before kick-off and fer had texted his brother that the family, and paco, was here, and quickly before listening in on tactics with xavi in the changing room, he snuck out to see his family and son.
pedri searched for any one of your figures, his mind clouded with a dark fog that had him almost wanting to stomp in his footsteps. his fists were tight at his sides and his jaw was tense, trying his best to stay composed when all he wanted to do was yell, and probably cry, but he couldn't. not in front of his family, not in front of his son, not in front of his team, and not in front of the cameras. he'd got the news yesterday evening after his final examination to confirm how long he'd be out for and come today to tell xavi and the team.
rounding the corner in the halls beneath the stadium, his stone-set face broke as he captured eyes the exact same as his own, peering curiously over your shoulder.
"mi hijo!" he beamed for the first time in days, arms already outstretched for his son. he hadn't seen him in almost three days. he'd taken him an hour before late-night training but he'd slept the whole time, so it practically didn't count.
"i missed you so much, mi niño," he repeatedly kissed his tiny cheek as his mini-me emerged in smiles and giggles, happy in the hands of his papi. "you cheer me right up."
your whole body felt fuzzy, an unexplainable amount of warmth spreading throughout you at the sweet sight of both boys but also in the same thump of your heart came an achy, hollow feel.
you missed them together.
you missed pedri.
even though time had barely passed, you missed him as your other half.
you loved him. of course you did.
you could lie and say you didn't care for him at all, but your eyes told everything, the curve of your lips, that automatic glow that washed over you being around him: you just automatically lit up.
even if you wanted to hate him, your heart would never allow it.
you missed him.
to be honest, you didn't really know why you both broke up, you didn’t want to, but you did.
it happened after the night he limped off the pitch with medics by his sides, when it had first occurred that serious damage had been done.
he had been stressing even before this accident: suffering with repetitive injuries, dealing with defeats, with the club's situation as a whole, being harshly overplayed as well as the nonstop criticism online all at the age of 20: it was taking a toll on him. he'd shared to you how it was getting him down and how he felt useless to everyone – and now he'd thrown a baby into the mix which only made him feel worse.
he voiced his concern for his lack of attentiveness to both you and paco which you couldn't have waved off enough, you'd told him not to worry and that it didn't matter. you'd still be there for the three of you and do whatever you could to help him. you'd been through it together before and you would do it again.
however, whether the addition of a baby this time was the final push, you didn't know, but this injury had pushed to him—shoved him harshly over the edge.
he lost it. shouted how you didn't get it and how he was a failure at everything: how he was a shit football player, a shit boyfriend, and now a shit dad. how he had no time for anyone or anything, barely himself. how he needed to focus and work on himself but couldn't do so without neglecting you and paco which he didn't want to do. pedri wasn't sold on himself as a dad to begin with, too young and too busy, anxiety riddled in his veins the moment you told him the news, but this just confirmed it for him, knowing the rehab he was going to have to do and extra training and treatment - paco would forget about him and you and the media would class him a deadbeat dad, abandoning his newborn child.
he barely saw you and paco as much as he wanted to, with paco being born early august, he didn't even get a whole month to enjoy the arrival of his son before he was thrown into the new season, and with xavi's coaching for this 'new era' of barca, it felt like he was never not training. and he had other things to do, whether for his own brand, media for barca, sports ceremonies, shoots for partnerships or balancing his own social life with friends and family – he was tired.
it was something you never minded when it was just you two, you weren't the neediest girlfriend, but sometimes pedri was coming home and falling as sleep the moment he fell to the couch while you accidentally fell asleep trying to put paco to bed, the pair of you not even sleeping in the same room.
you could no longer travel to his away games anymore like you used to with his brother, or make up your lost time with a fun date night. there were so many responsibilities this time around, all of which he felt like he couldn't fulfil.
so, before his blood pressure shot through the roof or he had a mental breakdown, you knocked one thing off the list.
"—pedri, pedri, stop worrying about me and paco," you held his face, bringing his ranting outburst to a halt "–stop worrying about us. we're going to be fine," you held his face still. "i . . i don't . . don't worry about me, okay? look, for now, i don't want you stressing over trying to make time with me or making plans for my birthday or anniversaries or anything like that, we can forget all that, alright?" you gulped, silence filling the room. "let's put it on pause. let's stop for a minute, okay?"
he didn't seem to fully grasp what you were saying. he knew what his complaining might have interpreted but he didn't think this was a possibility.
"in rational terms . . . i don't need you for anything,” you sighed, “paco does. prioritise your time with paco, not me. he needs his papi. i'm more than happy to stand on the sidelines if you can at least make a little time with him," you reasoned. "i know you're busy but i want you to feel as at ease as you can, pepi, i want to make this as easy and as stress-free for you. i don't want you running yourself down over all this stress and guilt, it's not good for you and paco and i certainly don't want to see you like that. take it easy. we'll be fine,” you cradled his face, “maybe until you feel like yourself again we'll pick up where we left, when the season's over and we see how you did. i know you're under a lot of pressure, i know the club is under a lot of pressure and i know you don't want to let anyone down. i know you don't want us thinking we're second to barça and i know we're not. it's just how things are at the minute and i get that, pedro, don't think for a second i think of you like that.” you were hurt at the thought he'd ever think you'd think that of him: he did his best and that was all you could ask for. "we'll see how the season goes but we're still by your side. paco and i will stay at the apartment so we're not disturbing your sleep schedule and you're not disturbing ours. you can visit any time on any day, just call, text — whenever you want, we'll work around you."
it's not like you had college or work to go to anymore, and it wasn't like you had a million friends to go out with all the time. "speak with your management tomorrow, go through things and get organised. don't overwhelm yourself, don't overwork yourself. don’t be afraid to say no. and this injury — it's temporary, not forever," you raised your brows, lifting his head up by his chin. "you're getting in your head because you're in a shit position and you feel stuck. you're not stuck. you'll get through it and we're all here to help you, you know this."
"but i feel useless, y/n—" he sat down, "pathetic, i—"
"—for now, you do, you’ll feel like that, yes. but you're not pedri. keep working hard, keep coming back stronger. do whatever you need to do, we're all gonna be waiting for you. you know you're important to the team, your absence doesn't go unnoticed," you looked down at him, hating him sink so low.
it took a lot to get through to pedri when it came to this stuff, very rarely he listened to what people had to say to him - or believed it, better put. his dad was probably the only person he really took advice from, or coaches or players he rated: if it came from their mouth, he'd believe it 100%. anyone else wasted their breath. it had to come from them or him. "you're the type of player who comes back from an injury and plays like he never missed a game."
now that — that did something. you could tell from the way the tail of his brow twitched and you knew he'd at least considered what you said. "stop being hard on yourself."
"but you—how is this fair to you—"
"—pedri, i don't care. i understand. i can survive being ‘single’ for four months," you broke a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "i'm fine. i don't mind. i’ll not be running off anywhere,” you chuckled, “paco is my priority: take him whenever you get the chance, take him out, visit him for an hour, be there for his bedtime, i don't even have to be in the room, just focus on him. all he wants is for you to look at him . ." you tucked your hair behind your ear, "he's obsessed with you."
it did hurt a little at the idea of being blanked but you would survive, paco was the priority, and like you said, it was temporary, not forever. if things went as expected, cameras would flash with you both holding up the trophy, paco in your arm and pedri's lips on yours, a happy, united family again with another trophy title under your boyfriend's belt.
"i don't want you coming home stressed and angsty and taking it out at home and paco wondering why everyone’s arguing all the time," you never really argued with pedro, if at all in the entirety of your relationship, you were just so united that you never had any issues - it was only recently when he started picking up injuries that he crumbled under pressure, that was it. never any arguments over unfaithfulness, jealousy, disrespect — you were best friends, you'd never dreamed of doing anything that you thought for a second would hurt or offend the other.
you both felt unworthy of the other.
"we don't fight but house is tense," fer couldn't even open a cupboard to grab a plate, pedri had somehow found issue with it and the two brothers were yapping at each other, fer telling him off how it's not fair everyone has to deal with his bad mood. "it's just for now."
"'til the end of the season?"
"if that's what you want, yes." you looked at him.
june.
pedri didn't like the idea of paco not living there full time. "so what, co-parenting?"
"it doesn't have to be hard, pedri. we will just live in seperate houses, you pass that apartment block on the way to camp nou every day. paco's starting to get into a sleeping routine."
"–but he's starting to teeth."
"–all the more reason why to do this. you already need to work twice as hard as everyone else now with this injury, i don't want him to fuck up any chance of rest you get," you were being really selfless right now and probably setting yourself up for a lot, but you could handle it. you could do it. "it'll be fine, pedri. i wouldn't suggest this if i thought i couldn't do it - if it'd be pointless. we'll let it run and see how it goes. stop doubting yourself."
you could read his mind, the worry of doing this on his own, the frustration of dealing with people's opinions.
after a long pause, looking at the floor with furrowed brows, he let out a sigh. "ok."
"okay?"
he nodded, remaining silent. "i will miss him."
. . are you going to miss me?
"i'm not keeping him from you, he'll just stay over in the apartment," you frowned. "pick him up whenever you want."
he rubbed his forehead, and you decided to push him no further. it was a lot to take in and accept, but you had faith it would all work in both your favour. it would be good for the three of you. "you have nothing to worry about other than yourself. no relationships, no responsibilities, nothing but your recovery," you squeezed his shoulder.
he'd crossed the ends of his feet and leaned his elbow on the table, pulling the hairs of his brow, "so are you still my girlfriend?"
"you can still refer to me as your girlfriend, we’re just strictly co-parenting 'til further notice," you almost rolled your eyes. you weren't going to sleep around if that's what he thought.
“like a break?”
“mm . . whatever you wanna call it."
you didn’t like how that sounded on his tongue.
he huffed a sigh, deep in thought, but before you could say else more, paco began to cry from his room, and you left pedri with his thoughts.
your eyes burned the second you turned your back.
you didn’t know why. you did you best to dab them dry, not understanding why you were upset.
you replayed the whole encounter over and over again, wondering what he was thinking, if he was going to stick to it or come to you tomorrow and tell you how dumb you were for leaving (even though you weren't really going anywhere) and that he needed you to be there every step of the way.
but then you thought of pedri's strong independence and how that was super unrealistic: there would be no 'you're staying here', 'no, we're doing this together' or 'i can't do this without you'. his independence was both a blessing and a curse, he did and dealt with things on his own, something you grew accustomed to pretty quickly, therefore, didn't take to heart when he didn't want your help straight away.
he was the first person you ran to, on the other hand. you’d be at a loss.
you took a minute to process it all yourself.
he said he would miss paco . . did that include you?
you'd been really mature and put your big girl pants on and brave face with your reasoning — but your heart had never felt so heavy. nerves so shaky.
you were so scared for what you'd gotten yourself into. you'd put yourself up for a lot . . but you had faith you'd get it right. you always did. independence had been naturally forced on you as a kid so you appreciated company a lot, but this was a sacrifice for a moment in time, it'd pay off.
things will be back to normal before you know it.
you could do this.
"—it's temporary, not forever," his mum repeated the famous words that first came from your mouth, comforting her son as you zoned back in.
he was too busy puckering his lips towards his baby, probably not wanting to hear words of comfort as he was still very much frustrated.
you watched from behind fer, fiddling with the soft comfort you brought everywhere for your son, stroking the little monkey in the corner while the brothers entertained the infant.
he was so handsome.
you were embarrassed to be looking at him.
the whole situation felt embarrassing. young couple split months after birth of newborn baby?! shock of the century.
it didn't matter, to be honest. you still wanted him in the end, you’d only ever wanted him, before and after paco, you couldn’t see yourself with anybody else. you might never need to announce it for nothing had changed, your eyes still went black when you looked at him.
pedri didn't look at you once.
he didn’t even acknowledge you. solely on paco, then to his dad when he spoke to him, and then he was called and he had to go, and he handed paco back to his mum.
you found it . . odd. a little dumbstruck almost, but, you tried not to take it to heart, knowing he had his reasons and it wasn't personal.
right?
did you do something maybe? missed a text maybe? he had you pulling out your phone and checking your last convo, which was 2 days ago when he told you he to was on his way to get paco.
so you hadn't ignored him, and you hadn't said anything . . .
he's still in a mood. he's gonna be ignorant without even realising.
you pulled the strap of the paco’s backpack up your shoulder and followed behind the family to the stands, running over everything once more just incase . . . but nothing.
nothing came to mind.
you weren’t on bad terms or anything, or at least you didn’t consider yourselves to be . . does he think it’s bad terms?
no, you know what? it's a one off. he'd never blank you for no reason.
it’s not intentional.
pedri was better than that. he knew better than that, he simply thought too highly of you to stoop to that standard.
pedri wouldn’t dream of treating you that way.
notes: first chapter! honestly have no idea how long this could go on for but hopefully not a ridiculous amount 🙈 so excited for this series! it’s gonna melt hearts and break hearts 🤭 i’m thinking of doing flashback chapters inbetween, so parts on them younger, first meeting, finding out about paco, etc! so let me know - i’m open to ideas and opinions! vote + comment + reblog as always, ‘n happy reading! 🩷
tagged: @leclercloml