Come explore my Wonderland

Welcome to my Tumblr, where I blog about things I find funny, my obsessions, and my thirst for boys I can't have.

[plaguepuppy-remade-deactivated2]

to all of my underage followers with shitty parents:

i am your parent now. i love you, you are valid, i’m making lasagna for dinner and your bedtimes are never

[trajans-deactivated20150201]

we all have a favorite eyebrow

[userlando]

inspo.

[voulair]

teacher: write a 5 page essay analyzing this me: it’s not that deep 🏊🏼

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

when virginia woolf said “sometimes he makes a joke—it is generally painful. sometimes he tells a story—it is always irrelevant. most often he spreads himself out in a waste of verbosity, where any interest that there may have been peters out dismally and loses itself in the sand”

[h-arleen]

cheerful. shocked. hurt. pissed

[wltdisneys]

So many lives were destroyed that night. What had always been was now gone forever. And my Anastasia, my beloved grandchild… I never saw her again.

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

she thought she killed they asses💀💀😭

[hudlion]

This some straight up charlie chaplin stunting

[jayce]

[boys-say-go]

when u scratch a cat’s chin and they lift their head up reblog if u agree

[hidden-suggestion]

when u scratch a cat’s cheek and they lean their head into ur hand reblog if u agree

[nyanbinyuri]

when u put your hand in front of your cat’s face and they gently headbut u reblog if u agree

[roughhewnends]

when ur cat runs just a lil bit faster to get to u reblog if u agree

[meloneons-deactivated20210423]

cats reblog if u agree

[d0gbl0g]

[kaible-deactivated20181205]

Ｍ　Ａ　Ｓ　Ｔ　Ｅ　Ｒ　　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｓ　　Ｒ　Ｅ　Ｔ　Ｕ　Ｒ　Ｎ　Ｅ　Ｄ

[tami-taylors-hair]

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

[dragginage]

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

[biteythevillain]

so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss 

[velv-ette]

lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph

[borgeslabyrinth]

a while ago I saw a post that pointed out that Snape would have treated Harry differently if he had been a girl and looked like Lily and I’m so horrified at the truth in that statement that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it

[lesbianism-that-sucks]

fuck

[coldburrrito]

buy me McDonalds and call me daddy

[thebootydiaries]

im calling the police

[actionandreaction]

Cop kink I see

[thebootydiaries]

do not,

[relishboi]

they gave elastigirl the main role in incredibles 2 to make up for the fucked up shit they made her do in the first one

[airfierce-deactivated20201208]

okay first of all she is their MOTHER and she did NOTHING less than keeping her family SAFE

[selfishcyclops]

Yo what? She was a liscenced pilot who had enough connects and respect to get a fuckin jet in less than 24 hours, then saved her family and humanity. Being thic is a biproduct of her kicking ass all day every day tell me I’m wrong

[midnight-revolucion]

Helen Par was, undoubtedly, The Hero of The Incredibles. She single-handedly saved her two children from a plane explosion after piloting the HELL out of a government jet. She then all but single-handedly saved her husband (Mirage beat her to it by milliseconds). And to top it off, she let herself be thrown at least 40 meters into the air to save her baby that was in free fall. Bob may have been out there kicking ass and looking good doing it, but ElastiGirl was Mrs. Fucking Incredible throughout that entire movie. It’s like she said in the beginning of the movie: “I’m at the top of my game! I’m right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on! Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don’t think so! I don’t think so.”

[midnight-revolucion]

ALL WHILE her husband, Mr. Incredible, was running around, out for days at a time, being too Incredible™ to help his wife raise their family (to be fair, he was getting paid serious money for it and he just lost his job, so it was a win-win for him). But, while he was trying to be a superhero again, she was at home, being a supermother to her chaotic superpowered children and a superwife to her suspicious acting husband, even as evidence started piling up that painted Bob’s recent actions in an unflattering light. ElastiGirl had the main role in The Incredibles II because it was exactly what she deserved. It was her time to run around and be Incredible while Bob raised the kids.

[uss-edsall]

I wish “repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live” existed in a different context than the horrifying result of inbreeding Spanish royalty for centuries, because, honestly, same

[uss-edsall]

[zackisontumblr]

i have 3 moods:

skips every song on my ipod

lets the music play without interruption

plays the same song on repeat for days

[pseudologla]

What’s an iPod?

[zackisontumblr]

been on tumblr so long my text post is outdated…