Sometimes, I wish you cared enough to call. Sometimes I wish you cared enough to talk at all. Sometimes, I wish that time didn’t matter at two, because you know that I’m always awake thinking of you. And sometimes, I wish I never missed you. I miss your smile, and I miss your hair in my face. I miss your clothes beside my bed and I miss you stealing my blankets even though you didn’t need them. I miss your cold toes and your warm embrace. I miss the way you kissed my forehead when you thought I was sleeping, and I miss the way you let me place my hand on your cheek to hide from the nightmares. I miss the way you waited for me to wake up only to pretend to sleep, and I miss the way you pulled me closer in the middle of the night. I miss your needy side and I miss you demanding cuddles. I miss the way you smell and the way you always seem to leave the sent on my pillow. I miss that stupid face you make when you think you’re right and I miss that stupid “whatever” comment you make when you realize you’re not. I miss your big blue eyes staring at me before each kiss, I miss holding you in my arms with your head on my chest just before you roll over on your side. I miss the way you look at me like I was your everything.. I miss the way you noticed when I looked at you the same and you’d ask me what or stick your tongue out or make another stupid face. I miss holding your stupid hand and I miss your stupid comments about my clothes. I miss the way you would pick me up in the kitchen when my mom wasn’t home. I miss when you would come visit me in the bathroom and just sit in the floor and talk to me. I miss when you would let me sit on the edge of the tub and talk to you. I miss rubbing your feet when you relax and rubbing your back when you get out at your moms. I miss fighting for the corner in the shower at your dads. I miss holding you when you were vulnerable and I miss when you were okay with holding me, not expecting to go home to someone else, to someone different, to someone else who supposedly loves you. I Miss You.
Just an update for the sad side of Tumblr, it gets better. The kind of heartahces that make you feel like you can't breathe because you're crying to the point of hyperventilating, the type that leave you wondering what was wrong with you and why you weren't good enough. They do get better, this is the type of wound that will heal over time. It's been a couple years since I've made this post so I'd just like to say, She and I are still not together, and it's taken me every bit of 2 years to be able to speak to her again without the pain getting caught in my throat. To those of you who are caught up in their feelings about a breakup, or losing a best friend, I'm here to tell you from my experience that literally everything happens for a reason. I was distraught when she and I split ways after 5 years of being together, but our friendship is stronger than it has ever been now that we've had the time apart and grow on our own. And just because it feels like it's the end of the world when the breakup happens, I so so promise it's not. The best advice for this is the old cliche saying "if you love someone let them go, if they love you they'll come back" She whole heartedly loved me, but because of the split she was able to find happiness in another girl happily married ❤️ the day that you can realize that every fucked up thing happens for a reason, is the day your pain will subside. We have to remember before we let our tears fall at 3 in the morning that everyone serves a purpose in your life, whether it be to teach you how to love, teach you how you want to be loved, ect. Also, I wholeheartedly didn't expect close to 500 notes, so if anyone that reads to the bottom of this and needs someone to vent to or to ask for advice, I'm here. I don't always have all the answers, but I'll understand the pain and will help guide you through it ❤️❤️
