#1 LOSER

this is my public diary say hi!

[luzerra]

omg its becoming difficult to sort my posts here are some that i use

all my random txt posts under: #1 loser

[luzerra]

im so glad i rediscovered the joy of lesbian fanfics i am however really disappointed that i rediscovered that during the last week of my neet prep

[luzerra]

nothing in my life is going as planned. re-neet. i am unable to make the album i wanted to. i am not able to find a career path for myself. i don't know what i want to do in life. i don't know how my relations will be in the future. i don't know if i will ever be able to escape this shit ass country. i am losing my sense of self. i feel like nobody gives a shit about anybody. i feel so isolated. i feel so irresponsible, so useless. i can't do anything properly. i am a disgrace to my family. i don't how i will come out as queer to my family. i don't know how i'm gonna survive while also being the sole retirement plan of my parents. will i ever afford a house? will i ever find my people? will i even be capable of love? what if i die alone? what if i die before i am able to prove myself? what if i die while i'm grinding for a fullfilling life? what if

[luzerra]

i am such a dead weight to all of humanity

[luzerra]

lowkey might be a lesbian but idk i think telling people im bi feels 'safer' ughhhhhh when. does this agony end

[luzerra]

bro i just had a dream that i kissed a girl and you know? EVERYTHING clicked into place like it felt like i was Made for this

but alas it was a dream 🤣🤣🤣😂😂 i genuinely can't believe ive become so pathetic

[luzerra]

car seat headrest i love youuuu mwahhhhh

[luzerra]

NEET FUCKING OVERRRRRFFFFFFRRRRRT

[luzerra]

i think i spoke too soon 😬

[luzerra]

NEET FUCKING OVERRRRRFFFFFFRRRRRT

[luzerra]

i believe in do nothing mondays. because if u do productive shit on mondays, how will u lock in on tuesdays? <3

[luzerra]

its so funny that ife given up on tuesdays too now. and wednesdays. i just refuse to study and stull get 550 marks idk what im doing with my lufe

[luzerra]

i have grown a lot in 2 months than i have in 17 years and thats really fucking bizarre

[luzerra]

someone on the station asked me what the time is. i looked at the watch and with the most diligent expression trying not to burst out laughing i answered 6 7 (a.m.)

[luzerra]

there was this time in my life before i realised/came out as bi, while i was dating my now ex boyfriend and we were attending our friend group's hangout in a restaurant...

i was sitting beside him talking and i lifted my eyes to look at my friend (girl), and she was looking at me from across the room and smiling at me in a way, that it genuinely got butterflies in my stomach. i had a physical positive reaction to watching her watch me with love in her eyes.

AND STILL i continued to identify as straight for the next 5 months. im such a dumbass

P.S. i do have the fattest crush on her but i dont like ruining things and she is probably straight as fuck and i like our friendship a lot lot lot better than complicating things :)

[luzerra]

been digging a lot of rock / metal lately and idk if im just performative or if im actually willing to listen to this stuff because atp i dont wanna be a boring music listener anymore (my 'had it all' playlist IS SO BAD HOW DID I EVER LISTEN TO THAT UGH OH NO)

[luzerra]

i believe in do nothing mondays. because if u do productive shit on mondays, how will u lock in on tuesdays? <3

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

I love the foreshadowing here when Tai warns Nat about Shauna. Shauna has caused the downfall of every Queen. Jackie was the first Queen of the group, and Shauna was the one to ultimately turn the group against her and banish her out of the cabin, leading to her death. Lottie was the second Queen, and after Shauna beat her within an inch of her life, the card draw happened as an attempt to save Lottie, which led to Lottie giving up the throne after seeing how far the group had descended.

And now the signs are all there with Nat as the third Queen. With Shauna’s resentment of her in the background, I am sure she will be the catalyst for Nat’s ultimate downfall, too.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Side note here, this is making me think about how, while Tai has never held an official leadership title, she’s always the one pulling the strings and setting in motion the most significant events in the show. She leads the charge on the “Allie problem,” she’s the one that finds the lake and instigates the vote to leave the crash site (which results in them finding the cabin), she leads the expedition to find help, she’s the one who decides to burn Jackie’s body (which results in the group committing cannibalism for the first time), she creates the first masks (for her and Van during Doomcoming) that would become a staple for the group during rituals and card draws, Taissa is the one to find Javi, Taissa is the one to initiate the first sacrificial card draw (“We need to find a way to stay alive, and it can’t be Lottie”), she prosecutes Ben’s trial and leads the group to find him guilty, Tai helps convince the group to stay in the wilderness rather than seeking rescue, ETC.

Even the established leaders (Nat and Shauna in particular) appear to look to Tai for guidance, and Tai’s advice guides their actions. Tai is the only one who can make even Shauna back off and listen. And these are just the examples I could think of in the wilderness. With her seeming to lead a new charge against Shauna both in the wilderness and the adult timelines at the end of Season 3, I think Season 4 is her time to stop controlling things behind the scenes and actually step into her role as the Queen.

[iloveimmunitybyclairo]

category is natalie looking like a beautiful renaissance painting while having blood all over her face