I had a major brain surgery in August 2024. From that time I lost everything. I lost my independence, my autonomy, my strength, my resolve, and ultimately my life. I did not have a healthy, peaceful recovery I rightfully deserved, as a man on his death bed, during that time and yet I still survived. I made it through all the tests filled with constant poking, prodding, and whatever else you could imagine. I was the walking definition of a lab rat if there ever was one. Still, I had not gotten the peace I longed for to see me through. I did, however, find solace in the collective struggle of those who were willing to share and keep me motivated. I contemplated killing myself more times than I contemplated living because I have not been happy ever since this befell me. Perhaps worst of all is….I had not regained MY life. The last few months I have withdrawn myself and things/people withdrew themselves from me. I may be weak and frail in this condition, but I will not beg or jump through hoops for anything I have rightfully earned. I will not compromise my respect for any fuckin thing. I will die on that hill or on my way up it. Here I am now approaching a year of living this nightmare I cannot seem to wake up from. I can continue to go on, but I do not want to. I am tired of this. I am tired of being stuck. I am tired of tucking my tail because I am debilitated and it’s just a matter that I cannot vs would not. They took my fangs and consequently with it…my soul. I don’t know if I’ll make it. Rage is a ticking time bomb. Time is almost up. 💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣
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