Walking on clouds, floating through air and nothingness. My body is weightless, and my spirit sheds the heavy burden of earthliness. I feel a cosmic chill. My form is cold, but my heart is so lovingly warm. Observing moonlight at midnight, a rainbow crafted out of silver rather than gold. It rests with a dark blanket in a cradle of stars. I wish I could be up there. When the Sun leaves the sky and the night is exposed, I feel at peace. I feel the beckoning of the beyond. I feel like I'm being called... home.
in retrospect, it all seems incredibly simple. i do not have to feel what someone else is feeling to understand what it is exactly that they feel and take action to comfort them. it's not really even necessary. when people are talking about being empathetic they're talking about exercising compassion and being mindful about the pain of others... which you do not need empathy for.
found out i'm low empathy. so that's why i get irritated when people are expressing anger and why i (allegedly, reports from my family members say) laughed that one time my stepdad broke his hand because i couldn't emotionally resonate with his extreme pain.
OH or when people are being snide with each other in front of me and i'm like "wait...........are you guys fighting right now?"
one thing that absolutely sucks about gaslighting is how easy it becomes to tell yourself that the abuse you're going through isn't real and that the situation you're in is totally just fine. because the person who's abusing you is okay. they're smiling and happy so you should be too.
it's one of those situations where you have to favor logic over emotions because they're so unreliable. your abuser can leave you alone for a day and you can be aware of all your rage and hurt and pain. but they minute they come back and smile in your face... bam. what were you ever mad about?
i can't believe white people have tricked us into aspiring to whiteness with how absolutely sterile it is. it should tell you something when white people will attach themselves to anything that doesn't have to do with being a white person and hold onto to those identifiers like it's their lifeline. because it is
i can't believe white people have tricked us into aspiring to whiteness with how absolutely sterile it is. it should tell you something when white people will attach themselves to anything that doesn't have to do with being a white person and hold onto those identifiers like it's their lifeline. because it is
hmm. so within the discussions of men and masculinity that are happening all over the web, it's been frustrating to see many people's positions primarily coming from the framework of associating masculinity with being a man or those two things being interchangeable.
there's nuance missing there and i say that as someone who is aware of people who identify with masculinity-- without being a man-- and men who do not identify with masculinity and also do not want to. i wanna see more creators come from the position of not needing men to usher in a new, healthier face of masculinity for all of them to tether themselves to and instead encourage them to... find themselves without having someone to tell them who they need to be.
in my boy days, i feel that it would've been fulfilling for someone to tell me that i could be whoever the fuck i wanted to be rather than adhere myself to a standard that someone else created.
hmm. so within the discussions of men and masculinity that are happening all over the web, it's been frustrating to see many people's positions primarily coming from the framework of associating masculinity with being a man or those two things being interchangeable.
there's nuance missing there and i say that as someone who is aware of people who identify with masculinity-- without being a man-- and men who do not identify with masculinity and also do not want to. i wanna see more creators come from the position of not needing men to usher in a new, healthier face of masculinity for all of them to tether themselves to and instead encourage them to... find themselves without having someone tell them who they need to be.
oh man i have one of those names where you have to pronounce it first middle and last so it can sound smooth. also love having my last name be lee so that people call me by it and i can sate my desire to be addressed in a masculine way without being seen as a man
my mother (formal to create detachment) got an orchid the other day that i'm basically forced to take care of because she got it on a whim. hated the idea of it at first. but each time i water it i feel this glow of fulfillment in my gut. and i keep checking on it hour after hour to see how well the buds are blossoming. so... new hobby come dropeth.
i had shared what is happening in sudan on a long facebook post last night, but it virtually received almost little to no engagement or shares from the nearly 600 “friends” i have on the site.
this morning, my great-aunt was shot by the soldiers fighting for power, and God forbid, i lose more of my family members before eid this friday.
please read below to understand what is happening and how you can help my country. i hope the tumblr community can show more kindness than the lack of support and advocacy i’ve seen elsewhere.
يا رب اجعل هذا البلد آمناً 🇸🇩
the lack of awareness and advocacy from the African, Arab, and Muslim diaspora and the human rights community has been painful.
while Western media has done little to no coverage of the ongoing conflict in the capital city of my motherland, Sudan, it appears that the rest of the world also partakes in normalizing crimes and violence against SWANA people.
violence and war hurting the SWANA region are NOT ordinary occurrences — no one, regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, religion, and gender, should experience the unprecedented amount of violence that harms my two living grandmothers, aunts and uncles, and baby cousins who live in Khartoum.
your decision to ignore reading or educating and discussing with others about what is likely to be a civil war is complicity in viewing SWANA people as individuals who regularly experience conflict and are undeserving of help.
the silence is damaging, and it is up to us as privileged members of the diaspora (or individuals living in the Western world committed to human rights) to support the people of my country and their dream for a stable, democratically elected government.
what is happening in Sudan is a fight that started on April 15 between two competing forces for power — the Sudanese Army and the Rapid Support Forces (RSF) — neither groups are representative of the needs of our people. The Sudan Army is loyal to the dictator, Omar Al-Bashir, and the RSF is responsible for the genocide in Darfur.
with both power struggles backed by different Arab and Gulf nations, the two parties have been fighting for power for the last few years. While they worked together to try and end the people’s revolution, they lost. however, they are now in a constant power play of who will get to rule the nation.
this all means that war is NOT a reflection of my country — violence does not represent the SWANA people. Sudan is a nation of beautiful culture, strong women, intellectual and influential Islamic scholars, poets, and youth at the front lines of the revolution. we are a people committed to a region of peace for ourselves and the rest of the Ummah.
my family and the rest of Sudan’s innocent civilians are at the most risk, with many currently without drinking water, food to eat, electricity, and complete blockage to any mosques during the final nights of Ramadan, our holiest month of the year.
i ask that you please keep Sudan and our people in your prayers — donate to the Sudan Red Crescent or a mutual aid GoFund Me, email your representatives if you live in a country that can put pressure on either competing force of power, discuss this with your family and friends, and please do not forget to think about SWANA people — our brothers and sisters in Syria, Yemen, Lebanon, and many others need our love and support.
acknowledging a behavior i've been doing since i was born and typing it into a search bar with "autism" at the end and seeing a reddit post about another autistic person with the same exact behavior and every single person with autism having liked the post.
