anna maria crossed her arms over her chest in a sort of defensive stance, because in all reality the way macca was beginning to speak was scaring her, and the illusion of bravery was better than what she actually had to offer up. the truth was she’d never really had to stand up for herself before - she had only ever defended her brother, letting people walk all over her whenever they wanted to. she didn’t know how to stand up for herself, so she stood in front of him with her arms crossed, in complete silence, taking a few steps backwards,away from him.
a shiver shot up her spine when he began to laugh, she’d never seen him this angry, or angry at all, for that matter. she’d only ever really seen him happy, and she realized in that moment that she really hardly knew him, and he hardly knew her. shuddering at the mention of her nearly killing macca’s friend, anna bit down on her tongue to distract herself from the images of the car crash, the image of their friend’s face. she jumped backwards when he slammed the door, now feeling more trapped than she already had.
she felt tears well up in her eyes when the name calling began, wincing at both the words he said and the way he said them. if her brother were here, he’d have lost his mind at the scenario that was currently playing out - but he wasn’t here. turning around now so that she didn’t have to look at macca any longer, anna maria kept her arms crossed and decided then that she did deserve to be stood up for, that she didn’t have to let him say whatever he wanted to without any consequences. “ first of all, ” she said quietly, voice shaky, “ i nevertoyed with anyone’s feelings. and i never tried to kill anyone. i’m sorry macca, that you feel that way, but i don’t have to stand here while you yell at me and call me names just because you know that you can. just because you know i won’t try to defend myself. ”
as soon as macaulay noticed the twinkling of tears brimming, the guilt was immediate and once again, he felt defeated -- almost. he watched her turn around, her back to him and when she spoke, the boy didn’t know how to feel; still guilty, still angry and upset, but at least she was speaking and wasn’t that better than nothing? so he continued to stare at the back of her head, a slight frown on his face. it was true that the pair didn’t know each other that well, considering the times they’d shared during their short period together and thinking that it was more than what it probably was, but macaulay didn’t believe for a second that she wouldn’t -- couldn’t -- defend herself. she was better than that.
exhaling slowly, the boy leaned back against the cupboards and ran his hands up and down over his face, pushing his recently cut hair up into some messy front, his hair no longer long but now short and layered -- a change, he thought, something to help him feel different in the last few weeks before coming into the house. it clearly hadn’t done much, though. “anna, i’m not sayin’ you won’t stand up for yourself,” he muttered, voice muffled into the palms of his hands. he didn’t even have the energy to pull them away from his face. “you just... you didn’t even say you sorry, you didn’t even tell me where you goin’,” he muttered before finally lowering his hands and taking a big breath and letting out another slow exhale, his eyes low on the floor. “you just fuckin’... left. do you -- know how that can make someone feel? did you not even care, or--?” cutting himself off, his eyes were back to boring into the rear of her head, waiting for her to turn or do something.
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