loving someone who struggles with addiction is so fucking confusing- i give myself room to have hope because maybe that’s not her, maybe that was the drugs talking, maybe when she’s out of rehab she’ll reach out and she’ll take back all the mean things she’s said, maybe she’ll say she fucked up & moving the way she did- putting another womans feelings above the one person to stick by for all of the ugly maybe she’ll say shes sorry for making love to me & giving back a sense of saftey i missed so much with her to only turn around and show me how stupid i am.
still, after all of it i’m worried about her. i’m sick to my stomach thinking of her with another woman but the thought of her heart no longer beating in the same world anymore makes my heart skip a literal beat.
