hey. you haven't finished. don't tell me you're not hungry, I know you are. would it help if I made something different? or are you just…it's another bad day, huh?
babe, you can't keep doing this. you're not eating enough. you're not giving your body what it needs. you need to eat.
I know—hey, I know that's the opposite of what your brain is telling you. your brain is telling you you don't need it, and things would be better if you were smaller. but they weren't better. you were sick. I don't want you to make yourself sick again.
it feels like you're holding onto this tiny piece of it, like a backup plan, like maybe it would be okay to restrict, just a little, until you lost some weight, then you'd stop, but that's not how this works. you can't go back. because the truth is, going back would be so much worse than just being as you are.
and you know what? the way you are is pretty incredible. you've been doing so well, and I'm really proud of you. I know today's a bad day. but you're totally fine. we're fine. nothing bad is going to happen if you eat when you're hungry.
your body knows what it needs. it needs nutrients. it needs energy to heal and recover. it needs freedom to just exist the way it exists. seeing you get bigger has been this miraculous transformation, you have this…sparkle. I don't know if you notice it, but you're just happier. you smile more and laugh more and you have this ease about you. this grace.
it's like, as you've gained weight, you're at home in your body in a way you never were before. and I love that—it is your home, it's your being and…god, you're so pretty. I know that's not the point, but like…you're soft, you're more curves than edges, it feels good to hold you.
I am, entirely selfishly, a big fan of this body. and I'm really not gonna let you stand around and mistreat it, okay? you don't have to feel totally okay about it. but you're going to let me take care of you. we're going to keep you well fed, we're going to keep your weight up—because you need it, and you're feeling better, and I think you'd feel even better if you put on a little more weight.
so. I am going to sit with you, and you are going to eat. if not for yourself, for me.
eat.
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