i feel that iβm destined to be a bottom like shane hollander is a bottom. so endlessly enthralled by this cocky confident top that i will do whatever you want and you donβt even have to say the words. i will obey like i was born to do so.
been off this account for a minute because iβve been debating my sexuality a bit lately. i am a femme lesbian that is not up for question but i think i may be on the acespec somewhere. maybe demi?
i know my being a stone bottom does align me there a little bit despite that stemming from trauma. but when i was younger, i identified as ace completely because sexual attraction was not something i thought i felt but since having long term relationships since then, ive realized i can feel that in some instances. ive tried hookups and they did not really end well, it was pretty triggering but i assumed it was because my stone boundaries were being pushed and not because i just wasnβt comfortable in general. both couldβve been the case.
my dilemma is that i have always been very into bdsm/kink more than i have sex in general. iβd rather take demands from a domme and have sex come from that than just have sex to have sex. that might change once i find a partner who is okay with my stone identity and wonβt expect anything from me that im not comfy with. i also love to be lewd and be other peopleβs porn and objectifying myself, i think itβs fun and i feel good from it but that doesnβt necessarily involve the act of sex. same with others, i prefer lewd content/audio/erotica over just seeing someoneβs body nude (but i wonβt complain, the naked body beautiful but itβs not incredibly arousing for me).
this kind of turned into a vent post but if any acespec or stone homies want to leave some advice please do
table of contents: books; anthologies, history, novels, erotica, photography. films; movies, documentaries, shorts. miscellaneous; dissertations, articles, etc.
note: everything (minus a few) has a link to access the media! if i am able to find the missing links i will attach them along with adding new content. there are some things that are not specifically butchfemme, but i kept them because i feel that they fit. enjoy!
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Femme's Guide To The Universe by Shar Rednour
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Lesbian Erotic Dance: Butch, Femme, Androgyny, and Other Rhythms by JoAnn Loulan
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Little Butch Book by Leslea Newman
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle
ΰ¨ΰ§ Tomboys!: Tales of Dyke Derring-Do by Lynne Y. Fletcher, Karen Barber
ΰ¨ΰ§ Tomboy Survival Guide by Ivan Coyote
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NOTE β there is more history content in the film section as well as historical fiction in the novel section!!!
ΰ¨ΰ§ Appearances Can Be Deceiving: Butch-Femme Fashion and Queer Legibility in New York City, 1945β1969 by Alix Gitner
ΰ¨ΰ§ Baby, You Are My Religion: Women, Gay Bars, And Theology Before Stonewall by Marie Cartier
ΰ¨ΰ§ Becoming Visible: An Illustrated History Of Lesbian And Gay Life In Twentieth-Century America by Molly McGary, Fred Wasserman
ΰ¨ΰ§ Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community by Andrea Weiss
ΰ¨ΰ§ Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community by Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy, Madaline D. Davis
ΰ¨ΰ§ Daring Hearts: Lesbian and Gay Lives of 50s and 60s Brighton byΒ Brighton Ourstory Project
ΰ¨ΰ§ GLBT Historical Society: Museum & Archives β general LGBT archives, but a great source
ΰ¨ΰ§ Making History: The Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights: 1945-1990: An Oral History by Eric Marcus
ΰ¨ΰ§ Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life In Twentieth-Century America byΒ Lillian Faderman
ΰ¨ΰ§ Uninvited: Classical Hollywood Cinema and Lesbian Representability byΒ Patricia White
ΰ¨ΰ§ Unsuitable: A History of Lesbian Fashion by Eleanor Medhurst
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ΰ¨ΰ§ A Crystal Diary: A Novel by Frankie Hucklenbroich β The razor-edged, compelling, often wryly humorous story hustles us from the blood-and-beer-drenched corners of her St. Louis meat-packing district '50s youth, through the sex-soaked Hollywood alleys of her '60s baby butch years, into the druggy metropolis of '70s San Francisco.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Beebo Brinker by Ann Bannon β Beeboo, a butch 17-year-old farm girl newly arrived in New York after she is driven from her Wisconsin home town for wearing drag to the State Fair. Befriended by the gay Jack Mann, a father-figure with a weakness for runaways, Beebo sets out to find love.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Departure from the Script by Jae β AnΒ aspiring actress meeting photographer, femme meeting butchΒ in this light-hearted lesbian romance set in Hollywood.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Doc and Fluff: The Dystopian Tale of a Girl and Her Biker by Pat Califia β Set in the bleak and not-too-distant future of a culture in its death throes, Doc and Fluff careens through the lives of a pair of outlaw women struggling to survive on the road.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clements,Β Onjuli Datta β A fresh, queer spin on possession horror with a sharp focus on deeply complex small-town dynamics. A young queer woman who's lived her whole life in the dead-end mountain village of Cadenze finds herself violently possessed by an ancient, malevolent, memory-eating entity that inhabits the caves bordering her home.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo β America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her fatherβdespite his hard-won citizenshipβLily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Lucy and Mickey by Red Jordan Arobateau β Lesbian life in the late 1950s, early '60s; and a powerful romance & sexual drama between two females, Lucy & Mickey.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller β In an early puritanical New England town, a butch and femme fall in love and discover they can run a farm and live together away from the world that sought to limit them and their love.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Satan's Best by Red Jordan Arobateau β volume #1 in the ten book lesbian biker series THE OUTLAW CHRONICLES. In this action-packed novel we are introduced to the gang of raunchy and glamorous biker women, including the 5 Warlords who run the Outlaws. Enter beautiful blond butch Angelβlone rider on the storm.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Stone Butch Blues by LeslieΒ Feinberg β The life of Jess Goldberg, a working-class Jewish butch lesbian in New York from the 1940s through the 1970s.
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall β The timeless struggle of a butch and femme couple to be accepted by "polite" society. This now classic was banned outright upon publication in 1928.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Butch: Not Like The Other Girls by SD Holman
ΰ¨ΰ§ Dagger On Butch Women byΒ Lily Burana, Roxxie Linnea Due
ΰ¨ΰ§ Love Bites byΒ Del LaGrace Volcano
ΰ¨ΰ§ Making Out: The Book Of Lesbian Sex And Sexuality by Zoe Schramm-Evans, Laurence Jaugey Paget
ΰ¨ΰ§ Nothing But The Girl: The Blatant Lesbian Image byΒ Susie Bright, Jill Posener
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Butch/Femme Photo Project by Wendi Kali
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Drag King Book by Del LaGrace Volcano, Judith "Jack" Halberstam
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Femme's Guide to the Universe by Shar Rednour
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ΰ¨ΰ§ A Complicated Queerness: Living Femme in a Dyke Community dir. Johanna Buchignani, Emily Hillman β short film: This film investigates the ways in which gender, power and sexism are lived and experienced within the San Francisco Mission dyke community. The documentary aims to promote awareness of and discussion about the prejudice and invisibility of queer femininity, in order to build alliances and healthier communities.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Before Stonewall (1984) dir. Greta Schiller, Robert Rosenberg β documentary: The history of the Gay and Lesbian community before the Stonewall riots began the major gay rights movement.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Bound (1996) dir. The Wachowskis β thriller/crime: Corky, a tough female ex-convict working on an apartment renovation in a Chicago building meets a couple living next door, Caesar, a paranoid mobster, and Violet.
ΰ¨ΰ§ By Hook or By Crook (2001) dir. Harry Dodge,Β Silas Howard β crime/romance: A buddy film that chronicles two butches, Shy and Valentine, who collide by chance in the San Francisco streets. Shy is immersed in daydreams about the loving father they lost and Valentine is searching for the mother they never met. Like-hearted mischievous souls, the pair stumbles into a series of shambolic shenanigans β along with Valentineβs girlfriend, Billie.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Dream Girls (1994) dir. Kim Longinotto, Jano Williams β documentary: Women join Japan's all-female Takarazuka Revue musical theater troupe, portraying men's roles. The film explores gender dynamics, desires, and complexities of female identity in Japanese society through these performers' experiences.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Lives (1992) dir. Lynne Fernie, Aerlyn Weissman β documentary: Ten women, most of them in Vancouver or Toronto, talk about being lesbian in the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s: discovering the pulp fiction of the day about women in love, their own first affairs, the pain of breaking up, frequenting gay bars, facing police raids, men's responses, and the etiquette of butch and femme roles. Interspersed among the interviews and archival footage are four dramatized chapters from a pulp novel, "Forbidden Love": Laura leaves her hick town and heads for the city, where she meets Mitch in a bar. Sparks fly, and so do laughter and joy. Ann Bannon, one of the writers of those paperback novels about forbidden love, talks about the genre.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Gay Tape: Butch and Femme (1985) byΒ Cecilia Dougherty β short: The Gay Tape brings βa little fine-tuningβ to the question of representation, honing in on the subjective particularities of the butch-femme dynamic as experienced by members of Doughertyβs local Bay Area dating pool.Β
ΰ¨ΰ§ Gender Troubles: The Butches (2016) dir. Lisa Plourde β documentary: What portrayals of lesbianism are acceptable and who gets erased? Butch lesbians from a wide range of backgrounds and ages provide a compelling exploration of society's assumptions and challenge ideas about what it means to be female. They show the rewards that come with self acceptance. Tender, funny, and thought-provoking. NOTE: after clicking the link, scroll down to the middle to watch where it is available with english audio and french, spanish, dutch, or portuguese subtitles.
ΰ¨ΰ§ If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) dir.Β Jane Anderson,Β Anne Heche,Β Martha Coolidge β romance/drama: This anthology of short films tells the stories of three lesbian couples - who live in the same house at different periods of time - who are at a crossroads in their lives. The second story includes a motorcycle riding, leather jacket and tie wearing butch, Amy.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Last Call at Maud's (1993) dir. Paris Poirier β documentary: Some genuinely wild women β and some more demure but no less lively types β take center stage in Paris Poirierβs vivacious documentary about the life and times of Maudβs, the longest running lesbian bar ever.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Lives: Visible/Leftovers (2017) dir.Β Michelle Citron β documentary: Lesbians in a boxβ¦two thousand private snapshots hidden away for over fifty years reveal the rich history of Chicagoβs working class butch/fem life in the pre-Stonewall era.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Salmonberries (1991) dir. Percy Adlon β drama/indie: A woman (played by k.d. lang) who grew up in a small town in Alaska goes to the public library to try and find out who her parents were. She eventually befriends the librarian, an East German immigrant who lost her husband while escaping from behind the Iron Curtain. They help each other try to find closure to the events in their past.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Shinjuku Boys (1995) dir. Jano Williams,Β Kim Longinotto β documentary: This documentary offers rich insight into gender and sexuality in Japan via a candid portrait of Kazuki, Tatsu, and Gaish, three trans masculine hosts working at the New Marilyn Club in Tokyoβs bustling Shinjuku district. As the film follows them at home and on the job, all three talk frankly about their lives, revealing their views on love, sex, and identity.
ΰ¨ΰ§ Stud Life (2012) dir. Campbell X β romance/drama: JJ, a lesbian, works as a wedding photographer with Seb, a gay man who is her best friend. After JJ falls in love with a gorgeous diva, her friendship with Seb becomes strained, and she may be forced to choose between Seb and her lover.
ΰ¨ΰ§ The Watermelon Woman (1996) dir. Cheryl Dunye β romance/comedy: An aspiring black lesbian filmmaker researches an obscure 1930s black actress billed as the Watermelon Woman.
