Screaming into the Void, diary

vent and thoughts sideblog. full time depressed and russian. main @un-ree-me || "are you lonely?", you ask them one day. "haha, no, of course not," they smile softly, "i am a maladaptive daydreamer. i have hundreds of friends in my head". "but they are not real", you try to reason. "it's okay. i don't feel like i am, either" ||| my madd related art, writing, memes

[jadeshifting]

me bored as hell because every time i shift or manifest it happens instantly and there’s absolutely zero resistance between me and my desires

[its-driving-me-madd]

what came first my paras that influence my personality or my personality that influences my paras

[everyone-with-a-para]

I hope everyone with a para who is trans and/or non-binary has a great day

[artimea]

“My child is fine!”

Your child literally cannot function without making up and playing out fictional fantasies in their head, disconnecting from reality and therefore not getting anything done because it’s a way for them to cope with reality and the trauma they haven’t been able to address.

[madd-girl-walking-deactivated20]

#3 Questions for fellow daydreamers, because I want to know if any of you experience/do this as well: Do you often daydream about explaining things to someone? And also daydream about having discussions and arguments you wish to have with someone?

[madd-roma]

Its like 60% of my daydreams aha

[ashstfu]

who was by your side in 2020 other than the false reality you created in your head ?

[madd-things]

[maddhopex]

I hate how madd has turned me into the lifeless unmotivated careless person. I mean i look around and see people planning their futures and working hard and they have big dreams and im just here thinking what’s the point? I’ll never be satisfied with my life, i’ll never feel like puting any kind of effort in reality because its not the reality i wanna be in. All i wanna do daydream and live in my imagination. i hate this i feel like such a failure rn and i wanna be better but i cant. I feel stuck between two worlds and its so tiring

[madd-roma]

Fuck okay i felt this post so badly. I am currently trying to do something with my life and im also trying to not let these thoughts take a toll on me but hell, the struggle is real

I'm tired of living like this but i also feel like there is nothing for me in the reality. And if im honest with myself i don't even want it. I have no excitement for the future and short of no desire or energy to do anything about the situation that i am in. But i also feel resentment for my madd and it just feels like there's no place for me anywhere right now. Like im stuck between the two worlds 🙃 both are shitty

[snapdragonling]

TOP TIER CONTENT

[madd-roma]

Its literally my two main paras rn 😃

[madd-roma]

MaDD took over my life again so it's time to kick my ass back into reality yet again i guess 🙄 it'd be great if my executive dysfunction didn't make me feel like the last loser thoughhh thanksss

[606cxt]

u know ur fucked when u skip every song

[souppippin]

I wanna listen to music but if I hear a sound right now I WILL die

[purple-dreams-of-stars222-deact]

Me: goes through anything even slightly stressful

My madd: I think you know, where this about to GO

[madd-information]

Colin A. Ross, M.D., Jane Ridgway, M.A., Nevita George, B.S.

Objective: Studies on maladaptive daydreaming have shown that it has a number of comorbidities including dissociative disorders, yet no studies have examined the reciprocal relationship. The aim of this study was to determine the frequency of maladaptive daydreaming in a sample of psychiatric inpatients with high levels of dissociation. 

Methods: The Dissociative Experiences Scale (DES), Self‐ Report Dissociative Disorders Interview Schedule, Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale‐16 (MDS‐16), Structured Clinical Interview for Maladaptive Daydreaming, and the Obsessive Compulsive Inventory were administered to a sample of 100 inpatients in a psychiatric hospital program specializing in dissociative disorders. 

Results: Of the 100 participants, 93 reported childhood physical and/or sexual abuse, 33 met criteria for dissociative identity disorder; 56 met criteria for other specified dissociative disorder, 49 met criteria for maladaptive daydreaming disorder, and 23 met criteria for unspecified maladaptive daydreaming. The average score on the DES was 39.1 and the average score on the MDS‐16 was 33.9. Individuals with maladaptive daydreaming disorder scored significantly higher than those without on many different symptom clusters.

 Conclusions: This sample of 100 highly traumatized and dissociative inpatients reported high levels of maladaptive daydreaming along with many other forms of comorbidity. Maladaptive daydreaming is a previously under‐recognized aspect of complex dissociative disorders and requires further attention in both research and clinical practice. Psych Res Clin Pract. 2020; xx:1–9; doi: 10.1176/appi. prcp.20190050

[dizzociating]

incorrect self-diagnosis happens all of the time and it’s not always a big deal. nor is there always malicious intent behind it.

there are a lot of gray areas and overlap between different disorders, so trying to self-diagnose can be very confusing. and it can be a lot more confusing when you’re trying to figure out if you have a disorder that is very under-researched and that isn’t “officially recognized" which makes getting a professional diagnosis near impossible.

people are going to misdiagnose themselves as maladaptive daydreamers a lot. and that’s okay. trying to figure out and understand your mental health is a difficult and exhausting process, especially when you have multiple mental illnesses all interacting with and affecting each other to make things more muddy. you don’t need to make it harder on people by yelling at them or making them feel guilty because you think they misdiagnosed themselves. nor should you be demanding that they reveal more details about their disorder so you can judge if they’re wrong or not. and you don’t need to comment on every post you see from someone who you think may have misdiagnosed to tell them that you think they misdiagnosed.

constantly trying to un-diagnose strangers on the internet is a lot worse than anyone accidentally misdiagnosing themselves. and by doing that, you could end up harming someone who actually does have madd by making them scared to talk about it and seek help.

this community needs to also be a safe-space for people who are unsure if they have madd and are just trying to figure it out. for some people that could take months or even years and they deserve patience and understanding, not hostile and passive-aggressive posts that demonize people who “think they have madd, but don’t”

[anxietyproblem]

[just-some-weird-human]

Do you think that your madd helps with going to sleep or is the thing that keeps you awake. On the one hand you can just close your eyes and kinda daydream then until fall asleep. on the other tou just keep pacing back and forth and that's the thing that keeps you awake.

[themaddlands]

Keeps me awake. My daydreams are rarely relaxing and they keep me too engaged to fall asleep.

[madd-roma]

Keeps me awake, on a good days when I don't daydream i fall asleep in 10-20 mins (if not insomnia day), but if i go to bed engaged in a daydream i'll be out at 5am at best

[xmaladaptivedaydreamerx]

Does anybody else have violent daydreams? My para has gone through a lot of bad things. VERY HORRIBLE THINGS. For years and years my para has lived through a lot of FUCKED UP shit.

[no-merci]

Yep, same here

I've had violent daydreams for like as long as I can remember?

I think they got more violent over time but yeah it's the kind of thing that's not exactly easy to talk about even though it's actually relatively common within the madd community

[madd-roma]

Same. I would say, it's not often that i have 100% positive daydreams, most of my plots are either hurt/comfort or just hurt aha. It really fucks with my mood and mentality at that period of time, and i treasure my rare happy paracosms so so much 🥺

Also i feel like simply having violent daydreams from time to time is okay bc its the same as listening to aggressive or sad music in a way, it helps w getting these feelings out of the system. But again, having these DDs for the long periods is just unhealthy and doesn't do any good