Legolas is my gym instructor

[fishfingersandscarves]

mx Ev could I perchance request a list of the Classics (tm) of bagginshield fics foe I am a fool and dont know the Classics (tm)

of course! i'm so glad you asked ^^)

first and foremost if you haven't read Sansûkh by @determamfidd what are you doing go do that right now - sansukh is bagginshield and gigolas, told from the end of BOTFA all the way through the end of LOTR's appendices as Thorin Oakenshield wakes up after death and begins watching over Bilbo and eventually the whole fellowship. this fic is beloved of me and is just so so SO GOOD, yes it's long and daunting but i promise, you will not be disappointed

another classic is Prayers to Broken Stone by @avelera this, my friend, is the best beauty and the beast au you will ever read. in this fic, thorin holes up inside Erebor and becomes even further infected by his dragon sickness, and actually slowly transforming into a dragon! only bilbo is brave enough to reenter erebor and take care of Thorin in his terrific state! this one i love to death <3

Clarity of Vision by @mithen is an AU fic for the ages! in this alternate timeline, Erebor has never fallen and bilbo finds himself drawn into a quest to help heal the ailing King Thror! also, the sequel to this fic Clarity of Purpose is so fucking good and is also very iconic

An Expected Journey by @mariejacquelyn is a classic time travel au and is actually the very first fic on ao3 i ever read! (and has great influenced my preference for time travel aus since then) in this, bilbo makes a wish at the end of his life to go back to before the quest and save Thorin, Fili and Kili, well, he gets his wish, but finds it hard to hide his origins........

How the West Was Won and Where it Got Us by stickman i think about in the wee hours....... this non-linear fic examines Bilbo and Thorin's relationship as grad students in a modern au. This one is rife with family drama and that good good angst

Nothing Gold Can Stay by @perkynurples is a fucking iconic work of writing! a modern au, Bilbo ends up working as a tutor for two royal nephews, and falling in love with their Uncle while doing so

Homesick by @andhumanslovedstories is a Post-BOTFA au where Bilbo gets mysteriously ill, Thorin goes on a journey to bring Bilbo back to the Shire and things get a little complicated along the way

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes by @diemarysues is a wonderful cinderella au where Bilbo magically turns into a dwarf, meets Thorin, and falls in love <333

and last one for flavor is Heartbeat of the Mountain by chrystal896 an au where no one died in BOTFA but Bilbo left anyway, years later he realizes there's no future for him in the shire anymore, so he leaves for Erebor, with a young Frodo in tow

there's loads more than just these, but these were the first classic ones i could remember off the top of my head :))

[missmollyetc]

Everybody who wears The One Ring in LOTR starts to refer to it as ‘My Precious,’ and Tolkien’s right that is super creepy, but what I really love is that everybody does it, which says to me that this super powerful scary evil sentient ring has a favorite pet name and just, like, will not respond to anything else.

[swilmarillion]

Hey uhh @piyo-13 you cant hide brilliance like these in the tags

[piyo-13]

look i’m just saying, even as educated as frodo is, would he really KNOW the true name of sauron? like shit, of any of the elves left in middle earth by the time the events of LotR actually happen, only círdan and galadriel are old enough to remember that sauron existed in valinor (not counting old sindarin/avari elves because iirc sauron was never called mairon on the shores of ara [except possibly by melkor wink wonk]), let alone what his name was. so to everyone in ME, he’s always been sauron, and there’s no connection to “precious” in any linguistic sense… but mairon remembers.

[swilmarillion]

no you’re a hundred percent right!! no one would know, and it wouldn’t make sense to anyone except maybe Gandalf, but that shredded little piece of sauron’s souls remembers

[marithlizard]

Oh, wow.   

[scarletjedi]

this is why i love lotr fandom. this right here

[shaelit]

so what you’re saying is there’s a tiny piece of sauron’s soul tucked smug into the Ring just going around introducing itself as “i’m babey”

[tuulikki]

This post has justified every second of every minute, hour, and collective day I have ever spent on Tumblr. It was all worth it for this.

[curioscurio]

Samfrodo sketches

[vanyaliful]

two hobbits, one brain cell

[madgaybaggins]

and Merry has like 5/6 of it

[glumshoe]

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

[glumshoe]

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

[norrington-hell]

[castielwho]

Frodo without his top

Frodo with his top

You’re welcome

[fairfowl]

Good Omens AU where nothing changes except that upon realizing that Warlock isn’t the antichrist they absentmindedly bring him along for the ride, and he’s just like in the background playing gameboy or something in every scene

[robin-the-robo]

*the breakup scene*

Crowley: Fine! Then I’m taking Warlock with me to Alpha Centauri! And when we’re among the stars we won’t even think about you!

Warlock from the back of the Bentley without even looking up from his phone: Bye Aziraphale, see you later.

[bryanchuckbrennan]

When I tell you I snorted!

[nyanbinyuri]

legolas:

gimli:

aragorn:

gandalf:

[degenerate-perturbation]

There’s a bit in Fellowship where Bilbo mentions (in like friendly slightly cantankerous old man fashion) getting Aragorn to help him with something and this brings two things to mind:

The absolutely delightful image of little old man Bilbo bossing the Rightful Heir to the Reunited Kingdom around, getting him to get stuff from high shelves for him and such

The plausibility that Bilbo met little 11 year old Estel the first or second time he came to Rivendell and on that subject WHERE are the fanworks

[degenerate-perturbation]

Little 11 year old Estel insisting he be the one to show Bilbo around Imladris because there’s FINALLY someone shorter than him around and he wants to bask in the experience

[argumate]

oh shit yeah and I thought the elves would find it tough to take the High King of Reunited Gondor and Arnor seriously since they’ve known him since he was a brat kid but so had Bilbo

[degenerate-perturbation]

I don’t think Bilbo ever went to Minas Tirith after the war but I wish he had so that the assembled gentry of Gondor could witness the King of the Reunited Kingdom being ordered to fetch that book of poetry down from the highest shelf, there’s a good lad

[argumate]

Aragorn opening a state dinner with a blessing in Elvish, Bilbo interrupting to correct his pronunciation,

[degenerate-perturbation]

And the correction is dead wrong, Aragorn grew up speaking Sindarin and Bilbo learned it well into middle age, but what’s Aragorn gonna do?? Object??? Bilbo has too much stubborn old man energy

[argumate]

he talks to Aragorn in the same voice he uses with Hobbit children, despite Aragorn being 87 years old

[degenerate-perturbation]

Arwen is complicit in ALL of this in fact she is an active enabler

[argumate]

Bilbo, testily: you’re getting the vowels all wrong!

Arwen, nodding seriously: he’s right you know

[degenerate-perturbation]

ELROND: yes, can confirm

FARAMIR: (wearily, without much spirit) stop BULLYING him

[lady-byleth]

Legolas alternated between losing it in the background and making comments like “oh yes Aragorn, your dialect is atrocious” which is the worst for Aragorn because “you are from Mirkwood!”

[empresstress13]

@solverne-02

[madgaybaggins]

Bilbo bossing everyone around is my jam. Bad thing he’s never met Sauron he’s bossed him out of being evil

[deheerkonijn]

Legolas sees Gimli’s tiddies for the first time at the counsel of Elrond and bursts into tears ‘cause he’s never wanted to be railed so bad in his life. 

Elrond misunderstands and is like tsk we must overcome our prejudices, Thranduilion 8-|

And then Legolas spends the entire quest like,

[problempippin]

personal headcanon that the legal drinking age is lower in tookland compared to the rest of the shire so it’s a tween tradition to have a ‘tookish birthday party’ in the pubs on that side of the border. the best part is sneaking back through shire counties where underage intoxication is illegal afterwards

[penny-anna]

You might say they’re getting

In-tooks-icated

[madgaybaggins]

bold of you to assume hobbits don’t drink ale and all other stuff since childhood

[redrockingchairdotmp3]

[dalpuri]

J.R.R. Tolkien writing Elvish, 1968.

[promin-blog]

Oh, Lord, I made a mistake, didn’t I?

You really think, J.R.R., that anyone would notice if you made a mistake? Except for the Elves, of course?

[omnomnomwisenom]

#I love it when he talked about elves as if he didn’t make them up

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Bold of you to assume J.R.R. Tolkien wasn’t the sole mortal granted forbidden elven knowledge

[maedhros-thetall]

I love that idea because that means that he betrayed them to us, he wasn’t trustworthy. And what made them decide to tell him, of all people? Was it his love for old languages? His excessive weirdness? His love for chasing people down the street in full armour? We’ll never know

[newtkins]

they get married. i’m so serious. you’ve got no idea.

“master baggins! come here” yes walk slowly towards me in this corridor that looks like a goddamn aisle and let me offer you the most precious thing i own 

[hello yes it is i, the wedding veil]

let me look at you through it

and let me help you put it on and then let’s STAND LIKE THIS, AS IF IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A WEDDING ALREADY

(hello thorin all in black, bilbo all in white, nice to see you)

the dwarves are all looking at the both of you, okay time to say your vows

“a token of our friendship” yes. excellent. this is totally the symbol of their love. the acorn scene was 100% the proposal scene btw.

save me

[filthyprotozoan]

we make fun of thorin getting lost in the shire but you know the nazgul also had to keep asking for directions to find bag end so maybe hobbits’ city planning is just wack

[that-catholic-shinobi]

The Hobbits have spent generations making their roads complex af to keep Gandalf out

[under-the-arch]

Theory accepted 

[ioannemos]

#which is why they’re always so sulky whenever he shows up………….#oh………….you found ur way back………………how nice…………….. (via @thisbrilliantsky)

[enjolrasapproves]

Which is also why Gandalf is always late

[robert-the-redhead-lover-deacti]

Excuse you, but a Wizard is never late, nor early. He always arrives precisely when he wishes.

[viking5150]

🕳🧙🏼‍♂️🧝🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile-back at the Shire…..

[filthyprotozoan]

what the FUCK is going on here i feel like i astral projected back to 2007 and i do not like it

[maedhros-thetall]

reblogging for that caption

[tendermiasma]

lady of light, more like lady of might

[valtsv]

so many things about tolkien’s mythos are just unintentionally hilarious to me but absolutely nothing beats the fact that elves are canonically such drama queens that they can literally waste away and die if they experience a strong negative emotion

[valtsv]

mortal: hey, what’s up man? i haven’t seen you around for a few months, so i thought i’d check in, see how you’re doing, you know-

elf: