So what If I like the dead better than the living?

Madlen Arthur. Twenty-two. Lover of the darkness. Studying to become a mortician.

[zule448]

[queen-catrinbron-deactivated201]

Winter is ending soon, no?

It seems to keep dragging on and on in the most irritating way.

[madlenarthur-blog]

I hope it drags for as long as it possibly can. I'm not looking forward to that devilish thing we call the summer.

[augustgrunewald-blog]

“What’s in a name? That with we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet. You are a beautiful, intelligent, self-sufficient, and completely fascinating woman, Madlen. Just because ‘people’ decide that you deserve to be called such a name, doesn’t mean that you are in fact an embodiment of that label.”

August pushed the hair away from his face and looked directly into Madlen’s eyes.

“And if you don’t believe my words, then I guess you’ll be right at home with us. We’re all freaks here. I’m sure Theodore has said this numerous times.” A sweet smile was on his face, but his own eyes had hints of sorrow in them.

[madlenarthur-blog]

"I.." Madlen let her hair fall over her eyes shyly, not wanting to look at him with such sad eyes. "I don't deserve that. I am strange, destructive and my heart is as black as night." She let the hair still fall over her face, completely embarrassed by the corny words that were flowing out of her mouth in sync with his.

Eventually, she gave up on avoiding eye contact and fluttered her watery blues over to his. "Hey. Well, at least we're interesting." She laughed half-heartedly, the sound getting caught in her throat.

She gave him a sweet smile of her own and noticed the sad gleam in his eyes. Leaning in closer, she pressed her soft lips to his cheek, leaving them there for a few seconds more than necessary. "You're a very good person, August." She said, pulling back from the small kiss.

[madlenarthur-blog]

I'm exhausted.

It's strange how easily I get tired these days.

[augustgrunewald-blog]

August chuckled lightly, thinking of what his parents would have said if he ever came home from school and told them he wanted to work in a circus when he grew up.

“For the greater part of my childhood, I was encouraged to become a successful lawyer, actually. I don’t think my family would have approved of me juggling knives for a living.”

After a poking at the light a bit with what looked like a fondue fork, August decided that the lamp could flicker its little bulb out if it wanted to. He could go for the dramatic effect anyways.

Climbing back down the ladder, the man turned the conversation towards Madlen.

“What about you then, Miss? What got you interested in taxidermy?”

[madlenarthur-blog]

"Oh?" She giggled. Her family weren't so expectant of her, but she knew they weren't expecting their only daughter to be a mortician.

She was completely interested in why he chose the circus and why he did some of the most dangerous acts especially. He didn't have to do it, after all. 

Watching him climb back down the ladder, she thought about his question for a few seconds.

"Taxidermy is just a hobby. I'm in college studying the sciences at the moment.. in hopes of being a mortician." She shrugged. "I don't know. I've always had a fascination in those type of things since I was very young.. and then I grew up to believe it was wrong. Which results in me believing people's words that I'm some kind of freak."

[augustgrunewald-blog]

“You don’t have to apologize, ma’am. It’s been a very long time since the incident, and I hardly remember it now.”

A lie. August remembered every single detail of his parents’ murder. The gleaming knife… the pools of blood… the sickening laugh… the haunting screams… He remembered everything, but had long to stop letting it show. At least when he wasn’t performing, that is.

Nodding at Madlen’s consent, the man removed his shirt and folded it into a neat little square, setting it on one of the chairs. A long, thin scar ran down his back, from his right shoulder to his left torso. The puckered white skin seemed to be the only imperfection on his otherwise fit frame, except for the smaller scar that was along his collarbone.

August let out a small sigh and began to climbing up the ladder to fix the flickering tent light.

[madlenarthur-blog]

Madlen nodded, a sad look in her eyes that she tried to hide. She had never lost anyone personally and been very affected by it. Her grandma had passed away when she was young but even back then it was just a fleeting pain that was gone in the matter of a week.

She'd knew from then on that her mind didn't work like everyone else's. Whether there was something wrong with her or not she wasn't really worried about it. Feelings just didn't seem to be a thing that came naturally to her, of any kind. She felt like she was living in a world of numbness all of the time.

And even through all of this hurt and loss running through the town, all she could do was sit and watch, sometimes pretending to mourn like everyone else.

Turning her gaze to him, she saw a glimpse of the scar. Curious but not wanting to pry, she directed her eyes away from him again.

"So, being in the circus. Is it something that has always interested you, August?"

[ysoldeellis-blog-blog]

later laments

[ysoldeellis-blog-blog]

The wind picked up as soon as they reached the water’s edge, Ysolde noticed its effects on Madlen, and how it effectively created a tornado of hair replacing her face. She covered her mouth to smother a laugh, a technique badly executed.

Either way, Ysolde would soon befall the same fate, strands of her blond hair lashed into her eyes, blinding her temporarily. Her body was wracked with the shivers that came from being so close to the cold water, but there was an insidious feeling of peace. 

Ysolde had never felt more awake. “I want to walk into the water, as far as it goes,” she sighed. Then she covered her face with her hands, “As Virginia Woolfian as that sounds,” she added, chuckling a bit.

“What do you think?” 

[madlenarthur-blog]

Mumbling a curse, Madlen hastily tried to move the hair away from her face, just for it to fall and cover her eyes once again.

She must of definitely been insane, deciding to come down to the coast in this weather. The only thing protecting the wind from lashing at her skin was the thin coat she wore over her black dress. It was strangely nice, though. Just like she enjoyed walking in the rain. There was a sense of serenity about it.

Madlen turned her head to glance at the other girl, a bit taken aback by how she would do something so daring. Not to mention, dangerous. "As far as it goes? You do realize it never ends, right?" She let out a rare laugh, already taking off her flat shoes and holding them in her hands as she felt the softness of the cool sand between her toes.

She looked back at the girl when they stood right at the water's tip. "Well, I'd be up for it. Then again, I'm still slightly intoxicated."

[d0e-baby]

Visit Original Link

Cat Power :: Cherokee (2012)

Never knew love like this  The wind, moon, the earth, the sky  Sky so high   

[augustgrunewald-blog]

“If you’d like, Miss. There’s really nothing all that interesting to know.”

He brought out a ladder and put it against a large, wooden pole.

“My parents both died when I was young. They were murdered, actually, and the police never found out who did it.”

It was slightly warmer inside the tent, and August had started to sweat. His t-shirt was sticking to him quite uncomfortably, and all he really wanted was to have it off.

“Umm… ma’am? This may be a kind of embarrassing question, but… are you alright with me removing my shirt?"

[madlenarthur-blog]

"Oh. I'm sorry." She didn't know what to say to that exactly, so used to people not mentioning anything like that to her. All they usually got was some strange remark, not intended to hurt anyone's feelings but it always ended up doing so. So she just went with the easy option.

She felt unexpected heat rise to her cheeks at his question, something she wasn't quite used to. "Um, yes."

[augustgrunewald-blog]

August went through the open flap with the board on it’s side, gliding through the dirt like a giant bike wheel.

“Don’t tell Theodore, but I’m just going to roll it,” he whispered with a wink.

After getting it inside, he leaned the thing against a few chairs.

“Tada. This is where I’ll be performing. It’s nothing spectacular, since I haven’t set up yet.”

The man went to the far side of the tent and came back with coils of rope.

“That’s what I’ll be doing all day, actually. You’re welcome to stay, if you’d like, but I won’t be any decent company…” 

[madlenarthur-blog]

She let out a laugh. "All rebellious now, are we? I won't tell him."

"I see." She nodded, shifting her vision around the whole view of the giant tent.

"I honestly don't have anything to do." She sighed. "I don't want to stay if you don't really want me to be here, though. I can see you're busy." She stayed still, shifting her feet slightly.

"You don't seem that bad of company to me. Anyways, I don't even know that much about you. Can I know more?" She leaned forward suggestively, leaning her chin on her hand.

[augustgrunewald-blog]

August shook his head at the thought of making Madlen do manual labour. He knew she was a strong and incredibly capable person herself, but it went against everything he grew up believing.

“No, no—I’m absolutely fine doing this myself. Though thank you for asking, madam.”

But August didn’t want to leave Madlen yet. He lifted the board again, and then peeked around the edge to look at her.

“If you don’t mind, could you hold open that tent flap?”

[madlenarthur-blog]

"Alright. Sorry for trying to destroy your manliness." She smirked. Honestly, she just thought that asking if he needed a hand would be an excuse to stay and talk to him. She didn't really want to seem like a clingy little girl, but she was quite intrigued by him. 

Walking over to the tent he was pointing to, she held the flap of it open, waiting for him to bring the thing inside and do whatever he had to do.

[augustgrunewald-blog]

“I’m glad you’ve finally made it to our humble abode, Miss Madlen,” he grins, happy to see her again.

Even though there was a slight breeze out that day, August till took off his coat. He really disliked doing manual labour, but since there was nobody else around to move the board, Theodore had gotten him to do it.

“Please excuse how sweaty I am…” he started, slightly embarrassed. August gestured to the large, wooden circle; it was just over six feet in diameter, and was incredibly heavy. “My boss insists I don’t roll it.”

[madlenarthur-blog]

"You think I wouldn't?" She cocked her head slightly. "I am known for loving the weird, the wonderful and the wacky, you know."

She watched him take off his coat, staring a bit longer than what was needed at the muscles she could see underneath his shirt.

"It's fine. You want some help?" She grinned, more than willing. After all, this was miles better than sitting at home skinning dead animals all day.

[madlenarthur-blog]

Aftermath ✘ Madlen & Theodore

[theodorewimble-blog]

Theodore was taken back by her sudden worry. “Regret—?! Doll, look at me,” he cooed, frustrated with himself. Obviously, she would assume the worst, because he was acting like such a fool. If anyone should be worried, it was Theo, as he was old and Madlen had every reason not to want to be with him.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Madlen; you get those thoughts outta your head,” he continued. Theodore sighed and pulled back from her, laying on his back. He stared at the dark ceiling and wanted to disappear. He brought a closed hand to his forehead, the side of his palm resting on it. “I just, I haven’t—” he puffed out a sigh. “I haven’t been with a woman in years. There, I’ve said it.” He dropped his hand on top of the blanket and turned to look at Madlen, worry lacing his features. He felt a fool.

“I just…I haven’t felt this good in a really long time, Madlen, and I want to draw it out. Take it slow, take it easy. You know?” he rolled onto his side, resting his head in his palm, sitting up on his elbow. He hoped that the young woman would understand. He didn’t want to have to explain his past lost to her…because that would go down horribly.

[madlenarthur-blog]

She looked at him, the strange expression still on her face. She shuffled around slightly so that she was resting her head on his chest. "It's okay." The words came out softly as she had meant them to. She wouldn't care if he had been with one thousand woman in his lifetime, or none. It made no difference.

A genuine smile crawled upon her lips at the fact that he said she made him happy. She wasn't sure if she had ever had that effect on anyone, considering she wasn't a very happy person herself. "We can take it as slow as you want." She told him quietly, turning over and leaving gentle kisses along his chest.

[augustgrunewald-blog]

It must have been surprising for any person to notice that a large wooden circle was moving in their direction. Painted red and white, the circle didn’t seem to see that the person was standing there, and continued moving towards them. Only until it was quite a lot closer was it finally recognized as a man carrying what looked like a giant dartboard, and not as a walking circle.

The sun was beating down on August’s shoulders with an intensity that was unusual for so late in the afternoon. It would have been so much easier for him to just roll the board to the tent, but Theodore was extremely strict about not getting grass stains its edges.

It was a great relief to the man when he finally spotted the person, for it gave him an excuse to set down the board for a while.

“Hello. I see you’ve made it to our little corner of town,” he said, the corners of his eyes crinkling as a bright smile came upon his face.

[madlenarthur-blog]

The weather was calm. Peaceful, in a way. She decided it wouldn't hurt to go for a walk, maybe check out the circus. Who knows who she might bump into.

Arms folded across her chest to keep out the cold, Madlen's face grew that of confusion as a giant circle came walking towards her. Taking one of the earplugs out of her ear that was blasting loud rock music, she stared up at the things carrier and knew who it was straight away.

"August." She suddenly remembered his comment about her smiling some more and couldn't help the giant smile that settled across her face.

[msrue]

[madlenarthur-blog]

Aftermath ✘ Madlen & Theodore

[madlenarthur-blog]

theodorewimble:

Theodore was surprised with the younger’s enthusiasm, but it was pleasant. To be wanted by someone, who he wanted just the same. It was terribly enjoyable, just the kissing. The holding. He felt Madlen rap her legs up around his waist, and he raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t so sure he would go any farther than this tonight, and that made Theo a bit disappointed in himself. Because he knew it would disappoint Madlen.

Theo pulled away for a minute, peppering her jaw and throat with kisses. He breathed heavily into the crook of her neck, eyes shut gently. “Madlen, I think we should—should take things a bit slower.” He felt like a complete asshole, because usually he was all up for one night stands, but usually ended up leaving that night for something else. 

Was it that he had been avoiding it? Having sex? He was so loose before he got married to Margaret, and even while they were married, he flirted like a madman. But, ever since…He just. He couldn’t…?

Theodore’s hips rolled into hers on their own accord, and he felt incredibly guilty. His body might have wanted it, but his mind was tugging him back. 

“God,” he hushed, still breathing into her neck. He pulled back and in the darkness, his lips found hers again. He still felt like this was a bad idea, to be in this situation. Even though his body was begging for her.

She had felt his hesitation as soon as he pulled away and she couldn't help a sigh- something between worry and disappointment. Had she made a mistake? Was it her who was moving things along too fast? She felt a confused expression glisten against her features. She thought this is what he wanted. Well, Madlen knew for a fact she wanted it.

Still, as he lined her neck with kisses, she couldn't help but feel a bit confused. There was obviously something stopping him going that inch further. Was it the age thing? The worries crowded up in her head and she tried her best to fight them off. "If that is what you want to do." She stated it bluntly, the obvious distate for stopping what they were doing lacing all over the sentence.

As they continued where they had left off, Theodore's doubts seemed to roll aside. At this, Madlen found herself not participating much in the kissing anymore and a frown settled on her face.

"Theo." She sighed softly, tilting his head back up so that he could meet her eyes. "I don't want you to regret this. Please, just do what you feel is right." She was honestly scared that he would become a victim of his own lust on this night, realizing in the morning that he didn't feel anything for her at all. Honestly, her mind was messed up with all these new feelings.

[ysoldeellis-blog-blog]

later laments

[ysoldeellis-blog-blog]

There was an almost embarrassing flutter in Ysolde’s chest, but she couldn’t help it. The type of girly, unbearable feeling of happiness she got whenever she made a friend. It was rather pathetic, in that she didn’t even know if this meant that they were friends, but it meant that she would have company for the night. 

“I’d love to come, thank you.” Ysolde tried not to sound too excited. But there was an undeniable lightness in her step as they doubled back from her house, tall and imposing, it was like walking away from an affronted bully. Satisfaction, she believed, was the term. 

“This is probably better than therapy, I suppose. Sleep deprivation. Is that something to do with atmosphere? How sleep deprived you feel? I think that I’d feel it more substantially at home.” Ysolde kept her voice soft, as so not to wake anyone up, but that was unneeded, the streets were hollow. 

But it was a necessary kind of hollow.

[madlenarthur-blog]

Madlen tried her hardest not to laugh at the other girls new found happiness in the situation. It was quite nice actually, knowing that someone actually wanted her for company. Or maybe she was just being nice, but she doubted it. Her house was only a few steps away so she could easily go back if she wanted, it just didn't seem to be the case.

"I'm not sure, it could be." She shrugged. "Exactly. It's better to walk around in the night air without any sleep rather than just lying awake in bed all night. That's what I think. Time passes quicker." Madlen spoke like it was from experience, and she supposed it was. Like a lot of people, the night seemed to bring out her inner most demons, desires, fears, anything. Her thoughts really did scare her sometimes, so walking around and sleeping half of the day while she was not at college had become a natural routine now.

They seemed to be getting closer to the coast, as the wind had suddenly turned more fierce, whipping Madlen's hair around madly.