Maeby, Baby

20 || Maeby Knott || Wicked's Rest

[maebys-delivery-service]

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[salemswitchtrial]

[pm] All kinds of cities. Atlanta. Salt Lake City. Beverly Hills. Way too many, it's not important.

I'm going to be honest with you, if it's broken there's not much I can do about it. Besides maybe help get you somewhere else. But otherwise, I could take a look.

The choice is yours. If you want me to take a look, drop me your location. Otherwise, I'll reiterate that a real, qualified doctor should look at this and then leave you alone.

[maebys-delivery-service]

[pm] i didn't realize housewives were so desperate. damn. what a wild phenomenon. blowing my mind here.

oh. but not a doctor. i can't see any like [.......] professional people. i don't really even want to see you. i don't know you.

[user debates for a while, realizes how fucked she is if she can't get home, drops location.] well this is only because my board is broken and i can't [.....] get home otherwise.

[banisheed]

I'm a figure of authority, typically that calms people. That's astute of you. Why are you so suspicious? Did something happen to you?

Sorry, I meant "have" as in can I have your bone to set. Slip of the tongue. Or slip of the finger, I suppose. What are you doing for your leg right now? You're not walking on it, are you?

[maebys-delivery-service]

well i'm not typical in that regard i suppose. astute?-- you think i'm-- why do i need a reason? maybe i just don't like authority figures. the more serious the worse. i have a few-- but--

that's still a weird way to phrase it. you could just say "Will you let me set your bone?" or "I can help you set your bone." these would be much more direct, and make more sense. [............] i'm just [........] sitting. i have it elevated. a little. it's not bleeding anymore. but it's getting really cold out here.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] oh, oh no. Ok honeybun, here's what we're going to do. First things first, you can trust me. I promise you. And I'd sooner spontaneously combust than break a promise. Second thing, can you get to Mother Morta's nursing home, or do you need a lift? Because I can bring you in through the back, and have one of the night nurses help patch you up. And Janice owes me, because I got her out of a bind by baking brownies for her son's hockey travel team bake sale. And if I tell her something needs to be discreet, and completely off the record, it will be. And if you don't want to do that, then I'll make her write me out a 'setting bones for dummies' guide, and I'll come to you with the supplies. Ok?

[maebys-delivery-service]

[pm] i'm not a honeybun. also people who say you can trust them are the least trustworthy. i do not know who that is, or where it is or any of that. this wasn't what i was asking for i just need to know how to set it myself. besides i'm not super sure where i even am right now-- there's.... a lighthouse??-- near the beach-- i don't like the ocean--

[banisheed]

I’m Siobhan. I’m an instructor at the university, which makes me credible and able to be trusted. I know so many things about bones. I teach [user has to look this up] archeology. I’m a doctor, technically. I’ve set many bones in my life.

Now you know me. Can I have your bone?

[maebys-delivery-service]

why would being a teacher at college make you more trustworthy? i don't trust teachers. or doctors. even if it's just a doctorate. only people who shouldn't be trusted say you should trust them. :/

you can't have my bone, why would you have my bone? that's a weird way to say that. i'm still using it. it's just broken, maybe dislocated. i don't know.

[necrosemancy]

Um honey I think the answer is urgent care. Or a hospital. Or know a doctor off the books.

[pm] but like hi, I'm Rosemary, do you need help?

[maebys-delivery-service]

but i can't go to urgent care, a hospital, or a doctor off the books.

[pm] no i just need to fix this on my own. [user probably definitely needs help]

[salemswitchtrial]

Can't argue that point.

[pm] Yes. And I don't know. Make your own assumptions. I'm two shows in and three seasons into another. it does sound like you have more pressing matters though.

Uh- I'm not telling you that over social media. I'm a former athlete who grew up with other, better athletes. I've dealt with dislocated limbs a thousand times. I have some tricks up my sleeve.

[maebys-delivery-service]

precisely why i made it.

[pm] i didn't even know there was more than one of those shows. [....] yes, but also i'm very much trying to distract myself from that. i have been playing a lot of cookie clicker. my phone is almost dead--

oh. i don't know if it's broken or dislocated actually. just [.....] that it hurts a lot. and i can't walk on it.

[salemswitchtrial]

Well don't trust anecdotal evidence on the internet either. They lie about everything. I could tell you that I once fixed my own injury while unicycling across a tightrope.

[pm] Because I'm new in town and have nothing better to do. I've spent the last month binging the real housewives shows and I think they're starting to get in my head.

And also because I might be able to help. Emphasis on might. All I'm saying is the offer is on the table.

[maebys-delivery-service]

you could, but then i could also look and fact check that on your profile. surely you would have talked about it if you accomplished such a feat.

[pm] isn't that show all drama and bullshit? like, made worse for the camera? are you saying you are becoming more like them or that you do not wish to watch anything like that anymore because you are bored of it?

well. [.....] how would you help?

[salemswitchtrial]

I'd stray away from trusting random people on the internet with medical advise. And also any advise at all. Just a tip.

When I got injured, I didn't want to touch my phone for a month, even though it was a leg injury. Can't explain why, but the pain made me more anti-social than I already was.

[pm] It's possible I could help you. No promises.

[maebys-delivery-service]

i'm not trusting random people. i'm taking their statements as a place to start research. or you know, anecdotal evidence.

oh. that's strange. i use my phone for everything. also i'm stuck-- and i don't know where-- i don't have anyone around and--

[pm] i don't even know you. you don't know me. why would you help? and how?

[banisheed]

I'll do it.

[maebys-delivery-service]

i don't know you.

[ohwynne]

I'm sorry. I cannot find a wikihow article about this. Maybe you should go to the hospital.

[maebys-delivery-service]

i won't be doing that. i can't. no doctors. [......] what's wikihow?

[salemswitchtrial]

You don't. Not painlessly. You probably just go to the hospital.

How are you even sending this message?

[maebys-delivery-service]

i know it ain't gonna be painless, of course it won't be painless. but i can't go to the hospital.

you [.......] don't use your leg to type. unless you do. i don't know your life.

[animotoph0bia]

I don't know, regular sized? Exceedingly average? I'm not angry at short people, I'm saying short people are always angry. That's not just me saying that by the way. [...] Where are you finding the partially fun parts? Solid shirt idea though.

Are psychopaths just attracted to this place Again, fun? Where?

[maebys-delivery-service]

being angry all the time seems like a lot of energy. i don't think i could do that at all. sometimes i feel like i have a hard time getting actually angry. big feeling suck. [....] well when you aren't getting attacked by shitty people sized birds there is some cool things. like looking at the big rock formation. or the ocean. cryptids and such too. idk. theres neat things if you look for them.

gotta make it for yourself man idk, i don't know how you make fun

[muertarte]

Pull it. Someone else will have to do this.

It will hurt.

[maebys-delivery-service]

well what if i don't have someone else ?

it already hurts. a lot.

maybe if i tie it to something and jump?? no that's--

[muertarte]

Depends on where the setting must be.

[maebys-delivery-service]

leg. [........] above ankle. below knee. hurts bad--

[maebys-delivery-service]

hey how do you um, [........] set a bone? without [........] going to the hospital. [......]

[stonekey]

Yeah. I guess so. You ever think about that...thing. That like, you know, that article. "The mortifying ordeal of being known"? That last paragraph? That like, idea of the staircase you go down and before you get to hear all the compliments, you have to go through all the negative things people have thought about you? And that's like, the ordeal of being known. That you have to submit yourself to that if you want to be loved. Or whatever. I'm paraphrasing. And...anyway, I think...sometimes people love you and they hate you? And I think it's rare that anyone ever intends to hurt someone else.

What kinda art do you do though? Like sketches? Watercolors? Original charters? Portraits? Landscapes? Furry?

I'm sorry. I think my thoughts go all over the place sometimes. I'm sorry I interpreted your words kinda harshly; that wasn't cool of me. Of course you know nuance exists. Yeah, the local government kinda sucks here. I've complained about so many pot holes.

The people in New York say their hotdogs are better, though! Oooh, maybe there's some kind of hotdog world tour you can do. I hear they put curry powder on them in Germany.

RETRO?????? Ew. Am I old now? Gross. I feel like I implied Naruto is my favorite anime, it's not. I swear. I wouldn't be able to live if someone thought Naruto was my favorite anime. Rock Lee was my favorite. Do you watch anime?

[maebys-delivery-service]

i don't think i've read that article. might have heard the phrase but didn't know it was from an article. everything has an article these days. saw one the other day about how scientists gave snails memories they didn't have before? that's fucked up right? they had these little guys feelin' bad about things they never did. [user links this article] what if we're all just snails with weird sad memories put in them? what if none of this is real and we're all just seeing weird shit constantly cause snains (snail brains) aren't meant to process taxes and chores and working in an office and other boring things normal people do.

ah i draw mostly. some digital, some paint. do murals when i can, tried my hand at spray paint a few weeks ago. fur stuff is too hard to draw, though i wish i was good at it cause furry artists make big bank. not a fan of the costumes personally, but that's more cause of their big unmoving eyes? not anything wrong with the people themselves. they just make me feel like i'm a rabbit being watched by a fox or something. all fight or flighty.

i almost flipped my board the other day cause of a pothole. i swear it felt like it grabbed me. didn't even see the damn thing before i hit it.

i've had new york hot dogs. pretty much the same as everywhere else. maybe a liiiiitle better, but i think its just cause the water just gets intensified cause of the amount of dogs per gallon. it's like ultra concentrated hot dog tea.

like a little retro. in the sense that the first series aired like.... almost fifteen years ago?? i like kiba. the dogs are cool. rock lee is p cool too.