MersadyzBenz @mage1213 - Tumblr Blog

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

satan-graffitied-my-soul

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves

dermuffvontausendjahren

whitepeopletwitter

showerthoughtspost

Maybe we don’t hear as much about organized crime these days because they’ve gotten REALLY organized.

vampmotel

sir you are referring to the government

juju-fisher

The government isn’t organized. They just want to give the illusion that they are.

kaldicuct

If the mafia ran the country, we’d have half the corruption, and twice the fun.

everythingfox

Baby elephant thought man was drowning and rushed to save him

bitterballin

My body is my temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed and haunted.

overpricedvodka

Reasons why Millennials prefer e-mail to phone in a work environment:

1) We don’t want to talk to you.

2) We don’t want to pause our music to talk to you.

3) We don’t even talk to each other on the phone — why would we want to talk to you?

But the biggest reason is A TRAIL. If I e-mail you back, you can see what was said in the future. You can’t tell me I forgot to tell you something because it’s right there. You can’t tell me I “never reached out” because we can both SEE it. I don’t have to trust your recollection.

And, in a group inbox, you can see who has been responded to. I got forwarded a voicemail from my supervisor (through e-mail! imagine that!) asking me to call some lady back for clarification. So I did, against my will of course…and she said somebody had called her yesterday.

Who? When? What did y’all talk about? Is follow-up necessary?

Phone calls back and forth only work in a workflow where the standard procedure is to *log* phone calls in a shared system with a brief summary of what was discussed. Otherwise, y’all need to let us e-mail. It’s not just about a generation gap. It’s also about efficiency.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Any feedback can be proffered via e-mail.

EDIT

Also: let’s keep it real – we multi-task better than you do. If I’m on the phone with you, I’m FORCED to do that ONE thing and put whatever you want above all the other things I could’ve been doing. If you e-mail me, I can research what you want (while doing other things), find the solution (while doing other things), and offer it to you in a nice concise package (while doing other things) without sitting on the phone with you in awkward silence looking for the answer to whatever you think is urgent. (It’s not urgent. You’re not dying. I know it’s not urgent.)

anais-ninja-bitch

OP is being kind in saying “i don’t have to trust your recollection.” people straight up lie, especially customers.

keybladesoras

Detective Pikachu + Pokemon

vyettri

Manga previously inspired 26-episode anime in 2001

DID I READ THAT RIGHT?! DID I?

FRUITS BASKET IS GETTING A REBOOT AND ITS GONNA COVER THE ENTIRE STORY OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sparemoon

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR. I LITERALLY HAVE LIVED 22 YEARS ONLY FOR THIS MOMENT. I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I AM LITERALLY CRYING. THIS IS THE ONLY THING IM GOING TO EVER TALK ABOUT FOR THE NEXT YEAR

kpop-memess

sheabutterbitch

A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.

lamujeroscura

this seems like a great concept and all but. what does it actually mean?

sheabutterbitch

Compromise is typically thought of as a 50/50 split amongst partner’s needs. They’re both left partially unsatisfied, but this dissatisfaction is deemed acceptable because it is ‘equal.’ However, with additional effort, many problems may be solved through collaboration; keywords: additional effort.

In collaborating, one may try to make the conflict more complex in order to expand the possible positive outcomes. This requires trust in both parties, empathy, and consideration for one another’s needs.

The objective should shift from getting what you want and ‘keeping things quiet’ to making sure your partner feels heard and considered (as they should do with you). Essentially, you must trust that your partner has your happiness in mind, and you must have theirs, instead of fighting for your own best interest.

For further explanation, Google “compromise vs collaboration.”

aleciamasa

In class today, Trump was somehow brought up and someone said that Trump was a neo-nazi and my professor was like, “Trump hasn’t ever said he was a neo-nazi” and another kid said, “I was still gay before I started calling myself gay!” and realized what he said and he looked just mortified but it was the greatest response to anything I’ve ever heard

rosewillow82

When trump makes you so angry that you ram down the closet door to call out some bs

aroshi-wish

Gays coming out of their closet to shame the mankind

the-fertix

@lokirulz

sweetoothgirl

honey strawberry muffins

awesomecrappeoplesay

My Mom - 22

“I might love you. I don’t know for sure. I’ll have to think about it for a while.”

shefromhouston

Men’s hygiene is JUST as important as women.

Please try not to stink.

Please don’t use AXE.

Please drink water and eat plenty fruits so you can also taste as good as your partner.

Please Exfoliate both your face AND body.

Please Wash, Deep Condition, AND Detangle!

Please try not use hair care products that say “Men” because they use the same fragrance as AXE which is harmful to both your skin and scalp. And IT STINKS.

ITS OKAY TO SMELL LIKE FRUITS. SHEA BUTTER OR FLOWERS. SMELL HAS NO DAMN GENDER.

There are ‘masculine’🙄 natural scents also; Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Sage, Peppermint, etc.

MOISTURIZE EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY. ESPECIALLY YOUR LIPS.

Point is….take care of yourself…damn.

americahatesblackpeople

Toxic/hyper masculinity is so bad men can’t even take care of themselves without it being considered “gay” or frowned upon in some form of fashion smh

shefromhouston

Exactly! It should be something we should all encourage and not frown up when we see a man doing a facial or getting a pedicure. It’s perfectly normal to want your outside to reflect the inside.

bang-tan

bang-tan:

when he pull out the d for the first time and its bigger than u thought it’d be

then u try to calculate if you can handle that length

and ur not too sure…..

BUT THEN HE PULL OUT DAT LUBE

lost 2 followers for this lmfao

chogiwa-kpop

DAMN😮

BTS Love Yourself: Tear , buy it quickly here from Amazon : https://amzn.to/2kiocyn 😄😄😄

eroscestlavie

and let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact that michelangelo had probably never seen a girl naked and when he want to sculpt or paint them his mentality seems to be “wow, everyone likes women….they must be like…..buff dudes. i love buff dudes. women are buff dudes but with little chest lumps and no wiener”