netherhound
There were few people that she would let see her true emotions–even fewer who she would let see these particular ones. Feeling his hands resting on hers, she struggled to hold back the quickly overflowing wetness in her eyes, body and breathing somewhat shaky as she hid away her face, her usual mask no longer being enough to keep the world from seeing her express her feelings.
“Moron.. Do you realize how terrifying it was to wake up, and not find you there? I could not track you–I never found you.. You were the one person I wanted to save from that nightmare, and yet you..I..”
She takes a moment to swallow and try to compose herself, one hand pulling away to wipe at her face, before she pulls away completely and moves to sit at his side.
“I..I am afraid.. I am afraid of losing you, again. You are very important to me, Leo..I.. I…”
This wasn’t the right place or time. Still, she found herself desperately searching for the right words. This was as far as she’d gotten before with sharing her true feelings with him, but..a much deeper fear kept her from surfacing the rest of them.
“I…care very much about you, and your well being.. I..pray that we never find ourselves in a situation like that, again, but.. Should it happen, please..let me come with you. Let me protect you, when you are in danger, or if you plan to go somewhere that could be dangerous..”
It wasn’t what she wanted to tell him, but it was all she’d say unless something changed to provoke the truth.
“…I missed you, too.”
Leo was surprised to find that she was crying, considering Selena was one to hide her true feelings, much alike himself, it sent a jolt of guilt to the pit of his stomach. It was his fault she was crying; he had caused it, one of the only people he desperately didn’t want to see cry, to be hurt by him. He had done this before, scared her when he should be making her happy instead.
He wants to comfort her somehow, to tell her that it’s okay and he won’t scare her ever again. But he stumbles over his own words as soon as he starts; he’s awkward with words and even more awkward with actions, having only really had to comfort Elise when she was a young child, and he knew that if he comforted Selena how he did his little baby sister, she would feel more patronised that reassured. So instead he settles for patting her hand instead, running his thumb gently over her hand as he kept his eyes locked on his lap until she moved to sit beside him instead.
The mage lets her keep talking until she’s finished, and only then does he raise his gaze to look steadily back at her, meeting her eyes and trying to crack a small smile. It makes him happy that she cares for him so much, that she’s willing to protect him. He’s never really had someone like this before, other than his siblings, but it feels much more special than that. It makes heart beat that little bit quicker. But he doesn’t want to be protected, he wants to be the one to protect her, to keep her safe from danger ( as much as he could protect an actual hellhound, that is ). But to do that he needs to fix himself first, needs to stop scaring her when he disappears or doesn’t eat. So instead he looks back at her with a gentle smile, stands up to go and wait in front of her.
“ Thank you, Selena. I’m sorry, I really am.. I keep scaring you and I don’t mean to. I- I don’t want to. It’s far from what I want to do, quite the opposite really. I m-mean, I don’t like seeing you sad is all.. I really care about you as well. ”
Having stumbled through his sentences, he was able to say the last part clearly, firmly, and he lets out a small, nervous laugh as his hand raises to pet Selena gently on the head.
