Oh you thought that goop was safe? Haha

Terrible news, everyone, some magic leaves behind some very unpleasant waste. And sadly, I have to clean it up. There's so much work to be done and many many millenia to do it. (Pfp made by me. You are welcome to @ me for rping, if I don't respond I might be on a break)

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Hey, remember that post I made about making an actual wizardsona with my not-so-amazing art skills?

Here it is! Meet Esorin, the head of the Magical Hazardous Waste Department

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Hey I am back, just to say this website's staff are super transmisogynistic

That is all

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

This blog casts *Annihilation* on all terfs, this a is pro-trans space so if you are a terf unfollow me

[humm-bird]

Yeah if you're a terf my giant metal hydra fucks up your house in one minute

[wizard-eater]

I cast TRANS BEAM to disintegrate all terfs who follow me

[the-better-wizard-council]

Could people please stop leaving cursed objects in the forest near the council building. Leave them somewhere else.

[the-worse-wizard-council]

People please keep leaving cursed objects in the forest near the building. That's where druid territory starts and I want to start a war with them.

[the-better-wizard-council]

Do not do that.

[the-worse-wizard-council]

I am doing that right now.

[the-better-wizard-council]

Stop doing that.

[the-worse-wizard-council]

You know what? I am doing that even harder now.

[the-better-wizard-council]

Sigh.

[the-druid-council]

😡

[the-druid-council]

The Druid Council is hosting a forest-wide cleanup in order to collect and safely discard the many cursed objects illegally dumped there.

We will be teaming up with @magical-hazardous-waste-wizard for this endeavor.

Here’s how you can volunteer.

Here’s where you can donate money.

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

*walks on the ceiling and through a wall* Hello! I got something for ya!

*unfazed* Oh really, what do you have for me? A cursed item? A vessel full of hazardous waste? A message that threatens my doom?

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[bathroomcube]

[chrispineofficial]

can people with harry potter urls just not fucking follow me

[chrispineofficial]

[chrispineofficial]

the way i am losing followers over this. GOOD. bye

[evilwizard]

STOP SPEEDRUNNING MY TOWER YOU INGRATES

[evilwizard]

YOU AREN’T GIVING ME ENOUGH TIME TO RESET THE TRAPS AND HEAL MY MINIONS

WE’RE UNIONIZED I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do you have any paperwork I can have?

Completed paperwork as evidence for a case, a form you need to fill out, or are you offering to help with the unending stream of paperwork that needs to be filled out?

Cause in order: gonna need an information request form, what do you need, and yes yes yes please help me.

[autism--wizard]

Maybe they want to eat the paperwork

[detectivewizzard]

Hey i don't eat the paper work I eat the knowledge on the paperwork

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do you mean literally or metaphorically? You know, with your whole becoming a God of knowledge upon death, it's hard to tell.

I guess I either way, I could just make and give you copies of the paperwork. But you would still need to file an information request form and state what you are specifically looking for. If it's too vague, your request might be in limbo for millenia.

[detectivewizzard]

I kind of sustain on the knowledge I just eat oatmeal because it it so bland it's a shock to the system

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Interesting, I've heard of similar situations, although usually they go to the archives to fulfill their hunger.

I would recommend the case files on the Great Bottomless Pit Upchuck from a couple centuries ago. 15 file boxes in total, including analysis of impact, clean up budget, catalogs of all materials involved, and all investigation notes.

Otherwise, I guess feel free to stop by and nose around the investigation subdivision paperwork. The ones with the blue tabs. If someone asks, we can just say I've contracted out some of the casework to you.

...Though if some of the forms really did get filed or cases get resolved without my doing so, I won't complain.

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do you have any paperwork I can have?

Completed paperwork as evidence for a case, a form you need to fill out, or are you offering to help with the unending stream of paperwork that needs to be filled out?

Cause in order: gonna need an information request form, what do you need, and yes yes yes please help me.

[autism--wizard]

Maybe they want to eat the paperwork

[detectivewizzard]

Hey i don't eat the paper work I eat the knowledge on the paperwork

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do you mean literally or metaphorically? You know, with your whole becoming a God of knowledge upon death, it's hard to tell.

I guess I either way, I could just make and give you copies of the paperwork. But you would still need to file an information request form and state what you are specifically looking for. If it's too vague, your request might be in limbo for millenia.

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do you have any paperwork I can have?

Completed paperwork as evidence for a case, a form you need to fill out, or are you offering to help with the unending stream of paperwork that needs to be filled out?

Cause in order: gonna need an information request form, what do you need, and yes yes yes please help me.

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

PSA: Anyone who has bought an Evinhiggle flying broom in the last 5 years, be aware that brooms from lot #s CU723D001-CU723D999 have all been found to be faulty with issues varying from near serious accidents, inexplicable illnesses, and extreme mana drain.

Please reach out to my department to turn in these dangerous brooms and for information on refunds and ongoing legal or illegal action against Evinhiggle.

[carnivalwizard]

hm. i believe i have been cursed but i know not what i've been cursed with

[concoctionboy]

You can ask @the-curse-wizard. They might know.

Fair warning, though, they'll almost certainly curse you. Even if you're already cursed, they'll curse you again.

(They'll also probably curse me just for telling you about them, but I guess I'll willing to take that chance.)

[the-curse-wizard]

You were right!

I CURSE YOU BAZINGA. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE UNTIL YOU WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF THE BIG BANG THEORY IN ORDER.

[carnivalwizard]

I believe I am immune to this curse because I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE!!!

[the-curse-wizard]

No, you must watch it again. Also you have terrible taste

[carnivalwizard]

AGAIN?! Once is more than enough for any man, and yes I'm aware.

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

Seeking haiku bot, Are you, my curious friend Intrigue in your quest.

[carnivalwizard]

Combustion wizard please help me evade this curse, haiku bot scares me.

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

I have also been afflicted, we are fucked, very fucked, shit

[carnivalwizard]

Who's doing this to us I am going to scream. Show yourself you fiend!

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

*I suddenly cough up a golf ball*

Wtf, I'm not afflicted anymore

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Hey you all, heard there were some curses happening. Want me to get out my curse detection goggles? I think I also have some curse cure elixirs somewhere in my bag.

[magical-hazardous-waste-wizard]

Do your tower's wards protect against non-magical fireballs? Just curious.

*slaps tower* This bad boy can hold so much fire proofing.

It's a building that holds piles of books, scrolls, and paperwork on top of various hazardous waste and cursed objects. If I want my job to be less sisyphean, the place has to be protected from fire, structural damage, and various magical attacks.

Of course, it does have some weaknesses, but long ago, I had cast a spell on myself to never tell what they were.