Reader being fingered, unprotected sex, using newly found kinks
You were currently attempting to reach a bowl in the cabinet. Unfortunately, it seemed Bob forgot he was taller than you and Yelena again. You stared at the bowl, highly aware of the fact that currently you and her were the only ones in the kitchen. John was in the shower, Ava was in her room, Bucky was in meetings, Alexei and Bob were still in their rooms.
“Fuck” you muttered it under your breath, about to climb onto the counter but just as you pulled your knee up to prop it up on the counter, John’s arm wrapped around your waist dragging you back down. You looked over your shoulder at him with a grin once he put you back on your feet, “Good, there you are. Me and Lena need bowls and Bob put them up” Yelena was still currently arguing with the blender and didn’t look up before nodding “Yeah Walker”
He shook his head and reached up, grabbing the two bowls then held them out to you. You smiled, taking them then leaned up to press a kiss to his jaw “My hero”
You hadn’t expected his breathing to hitch slightly, or his hand that had been resting on your hip to dig in just slightly. Did he.. did he like that? You raised an eyebrow, letting your eyes trail over his face and a smirk slipped over onto your face as you filed that little tidbit of information away for later. He pressed a kiss to your temple “Of course sweetheart”
You walked over to Yelena, cutting your eyes back at John and noticed him adjusting himself a bit once he thought no one was paying attention to him and shook his head, scrubbing a hand down his face. Oh yeah, he definitely liked that.
You’d nearly forgotten about the little revelation about your boyfriend. Until later that night. You and him had gone to bed, you had teased him the entire evening. Little touches, brushing against him. If you had tried to play keep away any longer you were fairly certain you may have gotten tossed over his shoulder and carried away via caveman style.
You stumbled into your room, clothes already hitting the floor. He groaned low, leaning down to scoop you up into his arms with his hands on the back of your thighs. He pinned you against the wall, lips moving from down your neck, mouthing at the skin. Your head fell back, a gasp falling out your lips. “Bed, please” you could feel him grin against the skin but thankfully he was tired of the teasing as well.
He carried you over to the bed, all but tossing you down onto it before kicking his jeans off, tugging yours off your legs. You gasped when the cool air hit your lower body, upper thighs already slick with arousal from teasing him. His head tilted to the side, tongue flicking out to wet his lips, “That all for me?”
You held out a hand, letting your legs fall apart to give him a full view of your glistening core, “Come find out handsome”
He crawled up the bed, lips crashing against yours like he was drowning and you were the very last gasp of air he was going to get. You whined into the kiss when two of his fingers teased through your folds, pushing in slowly. Your back arched off the bed when he curled them up, brushing that spongy place inside of you.
He twisted his wrist at just the right angle, thumb falling to your clit and you felt your orgasm building just half a second before it slammed into you. Your legs trembled under him. He groaned low, lips moving to kiss down your chest, tongue teasing at your nipples as he worked you through the aftershocks. After a moment he slipped his fingers out of you, holding your eyes as he flicked his tongue out, licking them clean. You whimpered at the sight and curled your fingers at him “Get inside me, please”
He climbed up your body, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. When he got to your lips he nudged his hips between yours, lining himself up with your opening as he kissed you, tongue slipping into your mouth to tangle with your own. He pushed in slowly, letting your body adjust to the stretch of him. Once he was hip to hip, he stilled, his forehead falling to your shoulder. “I love you” he murmured low. You nodded, turning your head just enough to kiss his neck, “I love you too, you can move now too” he chuckled, “Yes ma’am”
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John had both arms wrapped around you, hips pistoning into yours, every snap of them had you gasping, pleasure shooting up your spine. The thought from earlier flicked through. You bought your hands up, one slipping into his hair, the other cupping his jaw. He leaned into your touch, eyes half closed. He was lost to the pleasure as well, lost to the feel of you. You pulled him into a kiss, pouring all the love you had for him into it. He smiled against your lips, kissing you harder, hips moving deeper.
When the kiss had to break for you both to get air, you nudged your nose against his and murmured low, “My hero” his hips stuttered, his eyes widened a bit and he all but growled. “Baby” you kissed across his face, feeling another orgasm building but needing to make sure he was dragged across that line with you. “You are John” you whimpered, his cock kissing your cervix perfectly, tears forming in your eyes. “You’re my hero baby” you gasped and his head fell over onto the bend of your neck, a tremor running up his spine.
“Can’t say that” he begged, hand slipping between your body, fingers curling over your clit. You could feel your orgasm fast approaching and right before it hit, you moaned out “My hero” and he moaned into your neck, his release hitting him at the same times yours did. You could feel his cum thick and warm filling you, his cock twitching as he kept fucking you through both of your aftershocks, your walls fluttering around him, milking him for every drop.
He finally stilled, tucking you as close to his body as he could get. You buried your face in his chest, nipping at the skin. He grunted low, “I love you” “I love you too John”
John had drug you over on top of him, your bare body draped over his then he pulled the blanket over you. You were tucked up to his chest, half asleep. You pressed a kiss to the skin and murmured “So, you like knowing you’re my hero huh?” you could feel the skin of his neck warm when he blushed right before he playfully swatted your ass “Oh hush”
You laughed softly “I’m not teasing, I love it. You have so many things to use against me, it’s nice to have one to use against you handsome” he cut his eyes down at you and grinned, “Not my fault I want to be the best version of myself for you” you felt your heart flip, moving up to press a kiss to his lips “My hero” his cock twitched where it laid right next to your thigh and you couldn’t help but grin. He shook his head “You’re a menace, absolute menace” “Yet you love me” you reminded him and he nodded “With everything I have”
Lewis was sure he wouldn’t make it home, his ma was sure he would. His ma was right
“It’s gonna be ok Ma” Lewis refused to let her see him scared, refused to let her realize that he honestly didn’t think he was coming back. Too many men had already been lost to this war. He knew he wasn’t special, had no false ideas about that. He was one among thousands. That didn’t stop a mother’s heart from having hope.
He leaned down to hug her, wrapping both arms around her. He could feel her shake with her soft sobs, the ones she tried to hide from him. He took a deep breath, holding her for as long as he could. The bus was loading up quickly, he had to go. When she pulled back he gave her a smile, the best one he could muster. “Take care of yourself, I’ll send money back as I can. If something happens to me, my place will go to you.Sell it or rent it out. Just don’t let it fall apart”
“We’ll upkeep it for when you make it home to it” she told him with a small smile. He nodded, “Yes ma’am” and she pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “Write as you can, keep your head down. Remember who you are” he nodded, knowing he had to go and knowing this may very well be the last time he ever saw his mother. “I love you ma. You’ve been a good mother, the best” she waved her hand, sniffling “None of that final goodbye business Lewis! Go get on that bus, I’ll see you when this thing is over”
Through losing men, his best friend Tommy, Lewis somehow kept going. He still didn’t see himself as making it home. Too many people had been lost.
Then he and his men got caught in an explosion, shrapnel sliced into his face. He patched it in the best he could in the field, helped to carry wounded back to the nearest base camp. He refused to go to medical, he just wanted to rest. Damn his privates however, they apparently told the nurses that their Corporal was wounded.
The moment he opened his tent to find you standing there, your uniform looking nearly as worn as his, your eyes looking nearly as tired but your shoulders squared and your eyes holding his, he felt something stir in his chest he had thought he’d long since locked away.
Your hand shot out, cupping his chin and tilting his head. He didn’t even try to move away. Hell if being manhandled by a pretty girl was what ended him he may die happy. “Do you need something ma’am?” he finally asked and you nodded, “Corporal Ford?” “Yes ma’am”
You dropped your hand and he found himself missing the soft touch almost immediately along with the powdery scent that clung to your skin. “Follow me to the med tent so I can properly clean and dress that wound”
“It’s fine ma’am” he didn’t want to take up room from more serious injuries but a sharp bark of laughter fell from you that made him stand up a little straighter like he’d been tugged by a string, “Excuse me? I’m sorry if I made that sound like much of an option here. Either you willingly follow me or I will drag your six foot two self across this camp for everyone to see because we do not need our boys dying of simple infections because they’re too stubborn to get injuries properly cleaned and treated”
He had to bite into his lip to not grin at you. Christ, you came up to his shoulder but he believed every word that came out of your mouth. You would’ve dragged him through camp with no hesitation. He had no clue where the army had found a nurse like you but he found himself agreeing with no hesitation “Yes ma’am”
In the next letter to his ma, he mentioned you. The pretty little nurse that had been tapped with the nickname “Pistol” he wasn’t sure why he did. He’d watched you in that camp, how you watched the other nurses with a careful eye, making sure every man that was brought into the tent was respectful of them. You may not have technically been the highest ranking but every last one of them looked to you.
He had gathered his squad, explained what the nurses in the base camp had been dealing with and they put it out that any man that chose to cross a line with the medical staff were crossing lines with them while they were in camp. You may not know him very well, may not trust him, but he wasn’t letting any harm come to you or your nurses if he could help it.
Months of knowing you, falling for you, writing his ma about you, Lewis got a letter back from her with weight in it. When he opened it, a locket fell out that he knew had belonged to his grandmother. The letter along with it had been simple;
“You love her son, I’m happy to know it. You have something else to fight for, another reason to make it home. I look forward to meeting her one day”
The day you and Lewis called home to tell your parents you’d gotten married, he could practically hear his mother’s smile in her voice. She was right. You made him fight harder, survive even more. He wasn’t leaving you alone in this. He refused. Hell itself wouldn’t hold him when it came to keeping you safe.
Lewis looked at you in his arms, you were headed home. In two weeks time you’d be stateside. When you called home to tell everyone he’d been discharged and you had as well, his mother sobbed. Now it was a reality. You were his wife. He was going home with you.
His parents arranged to pick the two of you up. You were talking to his dad when his mother pulled him into a hug. He hugged her just like when he’d left even if the sling got in the way a bit. She whispered into his ear “Told you that you’d make it home and look, you found the woman you’ll spend the rest of your life with too”
He smiled brightly, looking over at you, “Ma, she bought me home” “Then I thank the heavens above for her, son” his mother spoke softly and he nodded, your eyes meeting his as he said “I do too, every damn moment she looks at me like that”
when your friend dragged you to France, you never expected the knife you found to bring someone home with you
Terminal reader, Lewis is dead, weird connection, strange stuff able to happen considering he is a ghost, sex with a ghost?, suicidal thoughts, Lewis threatens people, HEA i promise!!
“Terminal” “Nothing we can do” “Live your life to fullest” you’d heard it all. You were told to make a bucket list. Do whatever it was you wanted in life because you had at most five years left. You’d never see past that. There were signs to look for, if it got worse, that meant it was progressing and your time was narrowing down.
“Are you ok?” Ivy’s gentle voice hit your ears. You knew she didn’t mean anything by it but you were so tired of getting asked that. You smiled up at her where you were kneeling in the dirt, “I’m ok” the two of you were in France, her idea originally. You’d ended up in a small village and they had a garden for memorial trees. All visitors were welcomed to plant one. You were currently digging the hole for one, even if the conversation with the director of the program had been awkward when they’d asked who the tree was for and you’d just said “A friend” you hadn’t wanted to tell them you were planting your own memorial tree. That this was your farewell tour so to speak. It was bad enough when people knew you didn’t want to taint yet another place.
The shovel in your hand hit something hard, metal clanging against metal. One of your eyebrows arched. You stuck your hand down into the hole, brushing away the dirt and your fingers wrapped around what appeared to be brass knuckles that made up the handle of an old knife. “What is that?” Ivy moved closer, you heard the director’s voice right before his shadow fell over you “Must be left over from the war. Soldiers were plentiful in this area. You can keep it if you like”
You were shocked because surely something like this belonged in a museum didn’t it? “Are you sure?” he looked at Ivy and you realized she’d told him just who the memorial tree was for. “I am sure” you smiled, “Thank you” and tucked the knife away into your bag. You would make sure to clean it as properly as you could once you got it home.
You forgot about the knife the rest of the trip, not that it was in your bag of course, you saw every time you went after your id or phone. It was wrapped in your favorite bandana, waiting to be cleaned and care taken of it. You thought of the soldier it had to have belonged to. Did he make it home? Had he died there in France? Was he younger than you were now? What was his life like?
You were fairly certain the dreams were a part of your brain just offering you images. You’d thought too hard about the soldier the knife had belonged to, that had to have been it. The dreams started slowly, a young man, he was tall, blonde, blue eyes. He was handsome. You dreamt of him in Italy, a small squadron of men at his side. Seven men fighting fifty and winning, them coming back to base,bloody and grinning because they did the job they were tasked.
You’d jolted awake from that dream and ended up doodling the necklace the soldier and his squad made out of old bullet casing on every paper that made its way into your hand the rest of the day.
Every dream was a different fight, different flash of the war, his life. It was a different time, clearly world war two. Had to have been.
Then came the dream that made you stop dreaming for nights. It was the soldier, fighting a horribly mutated man. He’d ended up being gouged on a meat hook. He’d dragged himself off on will power alone. You’d been just a bystander, watching as he injected himself with that orange serum, went after that mutated nazi again, saved the other soldier then made the ultimate sacrifice.
You were trying to sleep, you’d had doctors appointments all day. The same news, a ticking timebomb. You were tired of fighting. You just wanted peace but the thoughts of the soldier kept haunting you.
You dozed off, tossing and turning. His name finally drifted into your head “Corporal Ford” you weren’t sure what woke you but it was two in the morning, a bright flash of lightning illuminated the room to show the soldier at the foot of your bed.
The screaming eagle patch, the blood on his face, the hole where that fucking hook had dug into his chest. Your mouth fell open, sure that your brain was frying on the spot when he spoke in a voice that sent a shiver up your spine for a reason different than fear “You have my knife”
You sat up slowly, blinking sleep from your eyes. “You’re dead, a ghost” you reached for your nightstand, the knife that you’d carried home from France was tucked away there. His eyes tracked your movements, his head tilting slightly “I’m aware of that sweetheart. Kind of blew myself up. Question is why am I here?”
Lewis could tell time had passed, from your clothing and apartment alone. The fact that he was dead, undead… it was a lot but he couldn’t change it. He just had to deal with it. You didn’t seem scared however. You seemed.. Intrigued? “Maybe you’re stuck to your knife?” you asked softly.
You were trying to make sure of why an extremely handsome dead soldier was standing over you but something deep in you told you he’d never hurt you. “Was my old man’s. Could be” he offered and you felt yourself perk up at learning more about him. You shoved the blanket off your legs, “Um you were obviously young when you died, maybe it's a case of needing to know what happened to those you left?”
You had no idea how you were being this calm, why you were afraid of him but you couldn’t even try to be.
Lewis watched on curiously as you stood up, clad in just a pair of panties and a big shirt. You went towards the corner of the room and grabbed something. He raised an eyebrow and you hummed, “It’s a laptop… um computer. An electronic device that’s connected to a bunch of databases and servers? I can research on the go? Find the soldiers you were with? I can’t promise to find everything but I will try”
A few hours later, you’d found out Paul was still alive, that his squad from France had all survived the war and had children that were still alive, his parents had died of old age and he’d been awarded a high accommodation posthumously.
“I don’t feel any different” he mumbled and you yawned, “I don’t know. I can look for more people” he shook his head, you were obviously tired. “Get some sleep. Not like I’m going anywhere apparently” you smiled softly at him “Just a couple hours. I work from home so I have nowhere to go” he nodded, “I’ll be around”
A few days passed and Lewis was still in your home. He couldn’t touch anything but he was helpful, told you what needed to be fixed in your place and talked you through it. It was nice, not being alone after so long of cutting yourself off from the world, of feeling out of place.
Lewis had asked if you’d properly polish his knife if he talked you through it. You’d of course agreed. You were sitting on your bed, a rag in your hand, carefully doing everything he said. Until you made a misslip. The knife slipped and the next thing you knew blood was welling up on your finger.
Lewis moved on instinct seeing you hurt, remembering at the last second he couldn’t actually help you but to both of your surprise his fingers wrapped around your wrist instead of phasing through. He could feel you, warm under him, feel your pulse under his fingers. You both stared at the contact, your blood decorating his skin. “What the hell?” he murmured and you shook your head “I have no idea how this is happening”
Your blood hitting his fingers broke him out of his shock, “You’re bleeding” “Lewis, I’m ok. It’s a nick. What are we gonna do about this?” you helped up your wrist, honestly afraid to move too much and break whatever was letting him touch you.
“I don’t know, first time I’ve felt a pulse since I had one” you could tell he was trying to joke but the way his eyes flickered across your face told you he was worried this may be scaring you. You weren’t, you smiled. “Well, you feel very.. much real? I mean alive? Whole? Hell I’m not sure what I mean but I can feel you”
After a moment he reluctantly pulled you up to your feet, his other hand going to your lower back which made you shiver as he guided you to the bathroom. “Clean it” “I’ve cut myself before, I know how to clean a wound” you laughed, him standing close was so different now that he was solid to you.
When you got to the sink, you let your thumb brush over his palm, the sensation making you both shudder. “Maybe” he pulled his eyes off your skin touching to look at your face, “Maybe since you cut yourself with my knife” you hummed in return kind of weirdly glad you could touch him. You’d been growing fond of him since he’d gotten stuck in your home.
Neither of you really wanted to admit how fond you’d grown of each other. Lewis watched over you while you slept, found things to do to just not hover. You left movies on you’d think he’d like. He’d watch you cook and wish he could try a few dishes. You felt safe with him there. A connection neither of you had ever experienced before.
You’d found out when Ivy visited that no one but you could see Lewis. You could see him, touch him and yet she walked through him. Maybe it was a little weird, a little fucked up but he was pretty sure he’d fallen in love with you through seeing your little quirks and habits, through you explaining the modern world to him as best as you could. Knowing he could touch you? He had an urge to always have a body part touching yours and seeing you reciprocate? It made his head swim.
You were having a nightmare. He could tell, he didn’t know what it was about and didn’t need to. He gently laid down behind you, wrapping an arm around you. The moment he did, your breathing evened out, you cuddled back closer. It had been so long even before his death that he’d touched someone like this, you were so warm, so soft. Even if he was cooler than someone alive. Any comfort he could offer was yours.
You woke up early the next morning, still in his embrace. He was worried you’d move until you smiled up at him. “I wish you could move on but I can’t help but be selfish and want you here” he could’ve melted on the spot. “If I do, I’ll wait forever for you to join me” he pressed a soft kiss to your temple and felt your entire body relax. You felt the same. God, you’d fallen for him too. Even with him being dead.
He settled back into the pillows, letting you tuck your face into his neck. He was glad the closer he got to you, the more his wounds seemed to heal.
You and Lewis were watching a movie or trying to. You were sure you’d gone insane. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. He kept looking at you. He finally sighed, “What are we gonna do honey?”
You shrugged, turning to face him “Can I admit something?” he smiled that crooked smile you’d come to love so much, “To the ghost you carried home? Sure” you felt your face warm, “I um.. I love you”
Lewis was sure had his heart still been beating it would’ve skipped several beats. He let his eyes flicker over your face before he finally said “I love you too sweetheart.. just.. I’d be taking away your future with someone alive”
You shook your head, moving closer, your lips almost touching his, “I don’t care as long as you stay” “I’ll stay as long as I can” he murmured, leaning closer and when his lips brushed yours it was a jolt. Cool meeting warmth. He let out a sound between a whine and a sigh, disbelief you were kissing him, wanted him. He didn’t even know how this worked, you didn’t either.
He tugged you closer, tongue flicking out across your bottom lip and you gave him access gladly, whimpering so pretty when your tongues met.
He drug you into his lap, not caring how this must look like to anyone outside a window.His hands slipped under your shirt and you moaned his name. “Are you sure?” he asked, you and him had patched up his chest, he’d been able to change out his uniform and even clean up a bit but he was still rough. “Are you?” you asked and he chuckled “If this works I’ve never been more sure of anything”
_____________
Lewis carried you to your bedroom, clothes falling to the floor along the way. By the time he laid you back on the bed you were bare under him. You could feel his fingers tremble before he groaned “Fuck, maybe I did make it to heaven after all” you giggled softly at that but it quickly turned into a moan when his hands trailed down to your thighs to hitch them up around his waist even more, leaning down to kiss you as two thick fingers teased at your folds.
“Fuck, all this for a ghost?” His voice was deep in awe and desire. Your moaned when his fingers dipped into you, “All this for you”
Lewis hadn’t been with anyone for so long before his death, hell he didn’t even know if he could cum but he was gonna enjoy this either way. Your face scrunched up so cutely as your orgasm grew, he could feel your walls fluttering around his fingers, the little whines of his name. The way your chest was heaving. When your orgasm hit, it was beautiful.
You grabbed him, dragging him up your body. “C’mere Lew, please”
___________
Lewis committed it all to memory, the way he made you feel good. He lined up with your opening because dead or not, his cock was so hard it was aching. He kissed you as he pushed in, slowly so he didn’t hurt you but your legs pulled him in deep enough he was bottoming out before he could blink, both of you gasping. You were searing around him, the contrast of your skin so flushed, his cock cool to the touch. It was driving you both insane.
“Never felt like this, even before” he mouthed at your neck, “Fuck I’m glad you picked up my knife”
Lewis’ fingers dug into your sides almost painfully but you didn’t care. You pulled him closer, his teeth grazed your pulse, knew he could feel it speeding up when he started a roll of his hips that had you keening his name. “Feels so good” you barely managed.
His hips were snapping into yours, lips rough at your throat and christ he wished he could mark you. You exposed your throat more, silently begging him to try. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, completely surrounded by him. It felt like everything in you was finally connected, pleasure shooting up your spine. “How?” you broke on a whimper before finishing “How does it feel this good? I never knew it could feel this good”
Hearing you say that, it made Lewis feel whole. “You’re heaven” he grunted out, lost in you, your praise and sounds and feel. He had no idea how this was working but he didn’t care. He felt you cum, your back arching, nails digging into his back, a needy whimper of his name. He could feel that release building, warned low “Don’t know how this’ll go”
You shook your head “Don’t care, please stay” and locked your legs behind his back. His thrusts got sharper, face buried in your neck, “I want to stay here, with you. Was worth dying just to get here..” his voice broke off on a deep moan when his orgasm hit, long ropes of cum shooting deep into you. You could feel it, a cool sensation that pushed you over the edge again. Your body milked him, taking everything he had and then some.
“How is any of this happening?” you laughed weakly, he dropped his head to your chest, “I don’t know but fuck I love you woman”
You knew you had to tell him. You and him had been together for months on top of the time before you got together. You sat next to him on the bed, holding the papers from your doctor. “Lew?” he eyed the papers, “Yeah?”
You laid them out, didn’t say anything. He read them slowly. Your diagnosis. “You’re dying?” you nodded, tears filling your eyes. “I have eighteen months” he moved closer, wrapping his arms around you. “It’s ok, I’ll be right here”
You fell asleep in Lewis’ arms then woke up alone. “Lew?” you sat up slowly and moved through the house. He was gone. Your knees collapsed. He was gone.
____________
Lewis woke up in a different apartment, his old one. It had no traces of you. No no no. He couldn’t leave you, not like this.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. You stared at the calendar. It was close to a year. You’d been alone for a year. You cut everyone off. You’d be dead soon enough. You held Lewis’ knife in your hand. If a cut got you to be able to touch him…
You laid it down and stood up, swaying slightly. You needed to think but couldn’t. You were so tired.
____________
Lewis stared down the powers he’d figured out were in charge. He had both his squads waiting. Ten men who followed him into hell on earth and were willing to move the afterlife for him, his ma even backed him on this. Both Tommy and Ed had told him, “You move? We move”
“I’ve killed the undead before. I’ll figure out a way to take down everyone with me that thinks they can stop me from getting to her. I will tear this place down. She dies before her disease takes her? By her hand? Using MY KNIFE? Peace won’t be something anyone here knows”
“Mr Ford, we were unaware of the unusual circumstances” he raised an eyebrow “What?” “We didn’t know you and her were soul bound. That you’d fallen this deeply in love. However since we can’t send you back, there is a solution since she is already breaching the veil”
You were laying across your bed, Lewis’ knife next to you. You were fairly certain you’d lost your mind when he appeared. “Lewis?” he nodded and you nearly fell out of the bed. “I don’t have much time, baby. I have to explain everything”
Time moved differently where he’d been. He hadn’t known he’d left you for so long but you had a choice. You could be with him tonight. Painless and gone. You were sure before he ever finished talking. “Go to sleep beautiful, I’ll see you soon” he murmured, wishing he could kiss you.
_____________
You watched Lewis disappear again then laid down, willing your eyes to close. You felt peaceful for the first time in so long. You drifted off, a dream of Lewis finding you. He was alive, happy. You felt his hands on your shoulders, heard his voice then felt his lips on your temple.
You pried your eyes open and there he was. You immediately reached out, dragging him down into the bed with you. “You’re really here?” you sobbed and he nodded “I’m here baby, I’m here” you crashed your lips onto his, half sobbing “I lost you” “I know sweetheart, I lost you too”
This time was different, the bond was even stronger. You were both warm, both able to mark each other, cling to each other, feel each other’s hearts racing. You needed to know this was real and he needed to know you hadn’t gotten here by your own hand.
You laid across Lewis’ chest, your body was draped over his, his hand on your thigh. “There’s a lot of people here that want to meet you when you’re ready, those fellas I told you about, my ma. I told them all about you. My squads were ready to help me tear this place down” you smiled up at him, “I can’t wait love” and dragged him into another kiss.
You were excited, you were meeting Lewis’ mother. The apartment had shifted, like Lewis had explained it would after the initial shock of you finally being to his side, to add you. Now instead of just Lewis’ things from the forties it had things from you both. You’d gotten all prettied up and when you stepped out he’d groaned “Do we gotta go? She waited seventy years for me. She can wait longer for you” you laughed, he was so damn insatiable. If you were alive, you’d be sore beyond reason.
“Sorry love but I really want to meet my mother in law. She made the love of my life and beyond” his eyes widened, a broad grin slipping onto his face “Think we can get someone to officiate a wedding in the after life?”
You stepped into his arms and heard a whine at the door. “What is that?” he groaned, “Old hound dog. Been hanging around me” “Hound dog?” you pulled out of his arms and ran to the door. Your dog from when you were a kid came running in, sniffing all around you. “Hey bubba!”
You knelt down, scratching his ears. Lewis scoffed in disbelief “I’ll be damned” you looked up “What?” he shook his head “That dog found me time I got here. Every time I was around it, I was calmer. Now I know why” you felt a shiver run through you, the soul bond. “Because he was mine?”
Lewis nodded, “A part of you with me until I got you with me” . You stood up and held out your hand, Lewis pulled you into his arms, Bubba yelping happily. Lewis mumbled “Yeah yeah yeah. We got her now, never letting her go” and crashed his lips against yours.
A threat to the team uncovers something long buried
Mention of teen pregnancy, awkwardness because John meeting his teenage daughter and reader and Olivia interacting, slight sexual content at end
“John, we need to talk” he knew your dad was getting transferred. It was unavoidable. It was a ticking timebomb being in love with a general’s daughter but he didn’t care, he wasn’t breaking up with you. He would stay with you. He’d travel to visit you on school holidays, you could call each other. You could make it work, as soon as you graduated you could get married. It was what you always planned.
He hadn’t expected the tears in your eyes, the way you were wringing your hands, the fact that you had his hoodies ready to give them back to him or the fact that the moving truck was ready to pull out of the driveway when he got to your place.
“Are you sure this is how you want to handle this babygirl?” your dad was standing at your side when John threw his truck into park hard enough you flinched. You nodded, blinking away tears “Please daddy. I can’t make him put his life in focus on this one moment. I can handle this, I know you’ll never turn your back on me. Just please don’t tell him. He’s a good guy, he’s gonna be a good man. I love him so much, I want him to have a good life” “What about you?” “I can still have a good life”
He nodded, pressed a kiss to your temple and nodded to John when he walked over “Walker” then went to talk to the movers. You watched your dad walk away before finally facing John. You were shaking, god knows you weren’t afraid of John. you were afraid of breaking down before you got through this, of not being strong enough.
“Baby, what’s going on?” he was looking from the movers to your jeep to you and back. You swallowed hard, “You knew dad was getting transferred. They moved up the orders. We have to leave today John” he took a step towards you and you let him pull you into his arms because you knew this was the last time you would feel his arms around you, feel his chest under your palms.
“It’s ok. We’ll get through it sweetheart. Spring break is in two months, then summer” you sobbed softly into his chest, feeling your heart crumble. You loved him, god you loved him but there was no reason for both of your lives to have to change permanently “John, I love you” “I love you too” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You leaned up to kiss the bend of his neck, right over one of the moles you loved so very much.
“It’s over John. I have to move too far. We’re shipping my jeep. It’s not fair to you” he pulled back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What? I don’t care how far it is. I love you” you shook your head “It’s Germany John!”
“I want you, I don’t care” he still had his arms around you, there were tears in those gorgeous blue eyes that you’d fallen in love with, that you’d stared into during some of the most intimate moments of your life. The blue eyes you would see every time you closed your eyes the rest of your life. “I will always love you John but it's over” you leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips before pulling away. You didn’t look back, knew if you did you would break, start sobbing on the spot and then your dad would tell him the truth and everything would fall apart.
John stood there, watching you climb in your jeep and pull out onto the road. Your dad looked at him with pity in his eyes before getting in his truck, it felt like even the movers were pitying him. His entire world, the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was leaving him and he didn’t even know why. He would’ve followed you to the ends of the earth and now he was watching you drive away. “I’ll always love you too” he whispered to the air as your jeep rounded the corner, slowly fading from sight.
A threat was folding out where everyone even somewhat tied to the teams was going into safehouses. Kate had dropped her dog and Yelena’s off with Barton’s wife, Joaquin’s abuela was taken to the same safehouse with Sam’s sister and nephews, Olivia and Eli were taken to a safehouse, the Hoskins were given an agent as well just in case. They thought they’d covered everyone from both teams, anyone that could be collateral damage, anyone that could be targeted.
They were in the main room, screen showing different reports from around the world when the elevator dinged. Everyone turned about the time Mel walked off carrying a large envelope. “Belova” Yelena looked at her, one eyebrow raised. “What?”
She held out the envelope “One last case. One last safehouse” Yelena took the envelope, tearing it open, “Who?” Mel’s eyes darted around the room, looking towards John then quickly looking away. “Walker’s kid”
“We already got Liv and Eli squared away,” John told her, not sure what she was talking about. She nodded, not meeting his eyes. “I know. This is another woman…a Ms. Corlet. I believe you knew her quite a few years back, she has a daughter..your daughter” John snatched the envelope from Yelena’s hands, his eyes landing on your name, your photo and the photo of you and a young girl who favored him.
He felt the world tilt, time adding up in his head, years stacking on top of each other. That was why you left, why you broke things off so suddenly, why you never spoke to him again after that day. You were pregnant when you and your father left for Germany. You and him had a daughter. You’d raised her alone.
“Walker, you’re not going” Bucky took the envelope from his hand and John all but growled “Fuck you Barnes. That’s my kid! My..” he trailed off when he realized he was about to call you his. “I need to make sure they’re safe” he mumbled and Bucky nodded, “We will. Me and Yelena will go. We’ll get them squared away in a safe house but you need to stay here, work with Sam’s team. The best thing you can do for these two along with Olivia and Elijah is keeping your head on straight, got it?”
He hated to admit it but Bucky was right. Anyone showing up at your door to tell you and that you and he looked down at the file.. Penny that you and Penny were in danger wasn’t going to go over well. He remembered you as clear as day. You had that protective streak, he could only imagine you as a mother. If he showed up.. Bucky was right. He nodded, holding Bucky’s stare “Take care of them” “We will”
You were in the kitchen, putting dishes away out of the dishwasher when there was a knock at the front door. “Mom? Is someone here?” Penny called down the stairs and you honestly had no clue. Neither of you were expecting anyone. “Stay up there until I say you can come down” you replied and heard her close her bedroom door. Your father had instilled a certain amount of training in you both, you especially. Him along with Lukas before you lost him years ago. They’d both made sure you’d never be caught off guard as a woman living alone with a child.
You looked towards the hall closet, the gun safe that sat just inside the door. Normally you wouldn’t be this cautious but it was well past dark and your home was off the beaten path. You stepped in, your thumb hitting the fingerprint scanner and your hand wrapped around the nine millimeter you were most comfortable with. You held the gun down next to your leg, hoping not to have to use it.
You opened the door and your mouth fell open. Standing on your front porch was none other than Bucky Barnes and Yelena Belova. “Sergeant Barnes. Ms. Belova. To what do I owe the pleasure?” how in the hell did two avengers even know where you live?
Bucky ran a hand along the back of his neck, “Ms.Corlet? Can we come in?” you raised an eyebrow. “If you can tell me what this is about” Yelena cleared her throat and you looked at her, “Well, there’s a threat against our teams and it’s spread to families and somehow someone figured out about you and Penelope where Walker is concerned”
“A threat? What kind of threat?” you asked and she shrugged “One where we’d like to move you to a safehouse. Your bills here will be paid up until you can come back” your shoulders sank, a low curse falling from your lips. “Goddammit. Ok” you stepped back to let them in and Bucky’s eyes fell to the gun in your hand. You shrugged, “Didn’t know it was avengers on my step”
Bucky and Yelena stood back watching as you called up the stairs “Pen! Baby, grab your go bag and your backpack” a few moments later a girl came halfway down the stairs. She was mid teens and looked a perfect mixture of you and John. She had a backpack over one shoulder and a canvas sack over the over. “Bucky Barnes? Yelena Belova?”
You nodded, “You know they’re on the team with your father” the girl nodded so Yelena stepped up and offered her hand “Pen or Penelope?” the girl smiled “Pen or Penny is fine” Yelena nodded “Penny, we gotta move you two to a safehouse for a while. There’s a threat and someone ran down” she looked towards you to make sure it was knowledge and you nodded “She knows John is her father”
Yelena breathed a sigh of relief “Someone found out John is your father so along with all other families like Wilson’s sister and nephews, you two need to be somewhere safe. Just in case” Penny nodded “Ok then”
You grabbed your own bags out of the hall closet and nodded to Yelena and Bucky “Ok then. Lead the way” Bucky cut his eyes at Yelena. He could see how you and John once were together, once had a child. Staying calm in the face of this? It was commendable.
Bucky offered to carry bags, Yelena offered to double check the house was locked up tight then it was time to get the two of you somewhere safe.
John couldn’t think straight. You had a daughter. He had a daughter. He’d gotten you pregnant in high school and you’d never told him. You’d taken it all on. Had you thought he wouldn’t want it? Want her?
Yelena told him about her, about you. The fact that you’d answered the door with a gun in your hand, that you and Penelope had go bags ready. That you’d stayed calm when your head high and shoulders squared. None of that was really a surprise when he remembered your father. General Kendal Lyle Corlet. That man was a hardass in the army but was the best father John had ever met. He treated you like the most important thing in the world, and always supported you no matter what. It wasn’t really a surprise he supported you with a pregnancy, even keeping a secret from the father.
She’d told him that Penelope was smart, asking questions where she could along the way, that she was polite, respectful. He hadn’t asked if you’d had a ring but she’d told him you’d come alone and there was no trace of a man living in your home. He wanted to see you, see his daughter. He just wanted to meet her, to ask you why you’d never told him.
You knew it was getting close to time for a physical check in with someone from the team. You were hoping for Yelena. When the code came through your phone to alert you they were on the way you didn’t tell Pen, she was in her room reading.
You stepped out onto the porch of the safehouse, seeing the suv approach and when it stopped you got a feeling something was off. You were about to step in, yell for Pen to go into the panic room that was built into the basement when the driver’s door opened. A boot hit the dirt and your heart threatened to stop. John.
He stepped out, just as handsome as ever, even more so now. That teenager was gone, replaced by a man. Ruggedly handsome, a beard gracing his jaw and those blue eyes locking onto your face even in the low evening light. God damn him, why did he have to have this effect on you after so many years?
John stepped out of the suv and had to talk his feet into moving. You were standing on the porch and honestly he forgot how to breathe. You were prettier now than you were then. Soft curves filled out, your hair was tousled a bit from the wind, a jacket falling to mid thigh, an old army shirt and jeans that were more worn than anything but you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes on. It was like the time between you hadn’t happened.
He spoke your name softly and saw you inhale, nearly a gasp before you steadied yourself, forcing a small smile onto your face. “John”
What was he doing here? Why him? Where was Yelena? You wrapped your arms around yourself like that could brace you from the onslaught of emotion that came along with seeing him, at knowing him and Pen were about to meet. He walked across the yard and stopped right in front of you, tilted his head to the side as he stared at you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There was no reason for both of us to be teen parents and let's face it, your dad? There’s no telling what would’ve happened had he found out you got me pregnant” you weren’t wrong, his father had been a piece of work but he wouldn’t have cared, he would’ve gotten a job, two jobs. Whatever it took. He opened his mouth to say just that, to tell you how much he missed you, how sorry he was he never knew, when the door opened.
There she stood. Penelope. Your daughter. Born exactly seven months to the day after you walked away from him. She was a Halloween baby. She had his eyes, his crooked grin, your hair. She was a perfect mixture of you both. It took his breath away. All these years, all the love he felt for you back then, the love he still had buried for you, embodied in this person that was a product of that love.
She crossed her arms, looking at you. “Mom?” you took a deep breath, chewing on the inside of your cheek like you always did when you were nervous when finally saying “Penelope, this is your father John. John, this is our daughter Penelope”
“Wow, first time meeting and it's because you landed us in danger just because you’re my dad and because she loved you” Penelope sassed, no anger in her voice. You gasped, eyes wide but John couldn’t help but grin. His looks and your personality. Yeah, she was the perfect mixture.
“John, why don’t you come inside and we’ll all talk?” you offered, stepping closer to Penelope who stared at him for a long moment. “Did you love her?” he nodded, without hesitation “More than anything” she stepped to the side and waved a hand “Ok then”
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You were sitting at the small table in the safe house, Pen on one side and John on the other. John looked so awkward, Pen was her usual self. You were just trying to maintain. “I would’ve come myself if it hadn’t been so long” he murmured and you nodded “I understand”
You felt horrible for never telling him about her, never telling him why you left him and now here he was. More handsome than you could ever imagine and knowing all about her. “It’s ok John. You didn't cause this threat yourself. It’s against the entire team, both halves from what Yelena said, though I would like to know how Valentina figured us out since Penelope’s last name is Corlet”
“Believe me, I intend to find that out. She’s not going to cause any issues for you two, I promise”
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John wanted to help you anyway he could since he knew now. Whatever that meant. You’d done it alone for so long. When he offered financial help you started shaking your head before he finished talking. Penelope however was grinning. “Come on Mom! Let’s use the wicked witch’s money!” he barely bit back a grin at that. She sounded just like you used to.
“We’ll see” you finally relented and she giggled. He wanted to know everything he missed but the thought of overwhelming you was too much so he asked Penelope about her life, anything she was willing to share. She mainly talked about Kendal. Considering how young you had her, he wasn’t surprised. She grew up in army life as well as you did. There was common ground there at least.
He absorbed every little story she told. He let his eyes flicker towards you every now and then, memories of how you two were back then flickering through his mind. That spark never died fully for him.
You kicked yourself mentally every time you caught John’s eyes. This didn’t mean anything. The threat was how he ended up here. It didn’t matter that he still made your heart flip or that it felt so natural seeing him with Penelope.
“I’ll be back, I gotta use the bathroom” she stood to walk out and John looked at you, “Honey I still don’t understand” you shrugged, “You lived a good life John. You found love, had a pretty damn good career until that mantle”
John didn’t know how to respond. He knew you loved him, just never knew you’d go that far to protect him. “What about you?” he asked and you shrugged, "I lived a good life. I graduated with honors, have a degree. Loved a good man named Lukas who cared about her”
“What happened?” he asked and you dropped your eyes down to the ring you wore on your right hand of Lukas’ birthstone. “IED” “I’m sorry” John meant it, you deserved love. “Life happens, doesn’t it” you offered with a shrug.
You both fell quiet after that, just staring at each other for a moment until Penelope came back. John stood to leave, giving her a small smile. When you and him both moved at the same time, it turned into a reluctant hug. He muttered a low “I got your number, you have mine. I’ll text so we can get coffee?” you nodded and his shoulders relaxed a bit.
Penelope gave him a grin “All in all it was pretty nice meeting you, dad” the corners of his mouth ticked up “Anything you need, your mom has my number kid. Even if you just wanna yell at me. Call” “I will” she agreed with a nod.
You walked him to the door. He looked back at her a time or two. “She’s amazing” you grinned, “I know” then your smile fell. “Don’t feel obligated because you know. Ok?” Did you think that? That the only reason he showed up was out of obligation? No, he wanted to meet her. See you.
“I want to be in her life if she wants me to be, if you want me to be” he said and you nodded. “Ok John, just be sure”
“How are you two?” John had managed to call you. You laughed and he could hear you moving around in the fridge, “Penelope is craving Chinese food and honestly I can’t blame her. We normally get it about once a week but we can’t exactly tell anyone where we are or go get it”
“I’m sorry. There’s only a few more cells and it’s over” he promised and you hummed in response. “I know, we’ll be fine. Thanks for checking in John. I’ll let Pen know you called” then you hung up after a few more minutes. He sat there staring at the phone and said screw it. You two wanted Chinese, you were getting it.
___________
You didn’t want to admit that you and John were getting closer since you and Pen had gotten pulled into hiding. You kept thinking about Olivia and her son. You weren’t jealous but he had a family. He’d been married, and was there for that pregnancy. You could think a highschool compared. You’d never stop him from seeing Penelope. She seemed so excited every time she knew he was coming, and loved talking to him. You would never let old heartache affect your daughter.
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John sent the code to your phone as he pulled to a stop. He watched the door open, you stepped out and started shaking your head when you saw the Chinese food bags. “Did you have to bring it?” he grinned, “She wanted it” you reached for the bags and when your fingers brushed his, he had to remind his heart to keep beating. “You don’t have to spoil her, John. She likes her dad”
“Well I want my little girl happy” he murmured, stepping close to you to add “Want you happy too” when you smiled at him he felt every bit of a love stuck high schooler.
He knew time was winding down on this little piece. The threat would be over, you’d be going home and he didn’t know what that would hold. He wouldn’t give up on being her father, wouldn’t give up on being there for you. He’d told Olivia about her, she knew about you. You had been a bit of a sore spot in their relationship for a long time. She didn’t hold it against you but it was still a fact.
“Mom?” you looked up from your cup of coffee to see Penelope dipping her tea bags in her own mug. “Yeah sweetpea?” she sat down across from you, sipping the tea as she stared at you for a long moment before asking, “Do you still love him?”
You swallowed hard, the coffee burning a bit. “I um. A lot was let unresolved between me and him” “And now?” she pushed. You shrugged “I don’t know” she hummed, nodding. “Ok”
You were in the kitchen when John walked into the safehouse, Penelope met him on the porch. “We need to talk” she looked every bit as serious as you. He nodded, feeling his heart drop “Ok” she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, “I like this. I like having a dad here but I think it’s ok if you two want to try something just don’t hurt her. She’s the best mom, she’s strong, stronger than she should’ve had to be. Just be gentle with her”
He was so thrown off by that but he guessed he shouldn't have been. You’d always been the mature, level headed one. “Babygirl, I would’ve followed your mama to the end of the world. I’d never dream of hurting her” he sighed, shrugged. “In a way I never stopped loving her”
She nodded, stepped to the side to let him in. “Cool. I wanna watch a new movie with you then!”
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You and John were on the back porch of the safehouse. Penelope had already gone to bed and you had fallen in love with the porch swing. “She told me not to hurt you” John broke the silence. You laughed from shock, cutting your eyes at him, “Sorry? She’s just protective John. She gets that streak from us both”
He nodded, leaning up to look at you, “A part of me never stopped loving you. I never knew why you left me. You were a hurdle for me and Liv because she knew I still loved you and now I know it was because you loved me more than I can wrap my head around. I don’t know where we go from here but I can’t say I’m mad that life dropped you two back to me. I’m almost sad Yelena and Joaquin are wrapping up the threat as we speak”
You fell silence and for one horrifying moment he worried he fucked up by half admitting how he felt before you turned to lean against his shoulder “Then stay in our lives” “Really? You’d be ok with that?” he asked and you nodded, “She’s your daughter John. Of course I’d be ok. I’m also perfectly fine with us getting to know each other again too”
“Even with how busy I am? With me having another kid?” you shrugged “You didn’t know about her until a few weeks ago. Maybe we’ll meet him one day” the tension in his shoulders sagged a bit. “Did it hurt? Hearing about him?”
You looked away, over the yard before whispering “A little, yeah. I guess it’s only natural for it to sting. I have no hard feelings towards either of you three however” he breathed out a sigh of relief, slipping his arm around you. The two of you stayed like that for a while until your head started to dip over against his chest. After a while, it dipped down and didn't come up. He made sure you were fully asleep before carefully adjusting you into his arms to stand and carry you into the house. The moment he pushed the backdoor closed Penelope was walking out the bathroom and grinned sleepily before whispering “I’ll open her bedroom door”
He walked you inside and by the time he’d carefully tucked the blanket up around you, she’d already disappeared back to her room. He hadn’t intended on staying the night but he wasn’t leaving now. He wanted to talk more, wanted to be near you both. “Night sweetheart” he murmured and walked out of your room, closing the door gently. He walked through the house, double checking locks and windows before sitting down on the couch. He could catch a few hours.
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“So, he put me to bed. How’d he get a blanket?” you asked softly, scrambling eggs and scallions in the pan as Penelope climbed onto the island to sit. She shrugged, “He was out like a light so I covered him up. He’s trying isn’t he?” “I think so” you murmured, the conversation shifting to her classmates and your coworkers since your “vacation” was finally coming to an end.
John sat up on the couch, the blanket he was covered with sliding down. He smiled because he knew for a fact it had come out of Penelope’s room. He could hear both of you laughing softly from the kitchen, and could smell eggs cooking. He stood, back popping as he headed to the kitchen. He shuffled in, hair sticking up in a few different directions. Penelope cut her eyes up and grinned, “Morning sleeping beauty” god, she really was just like you.
He could get used to waking up to the sight of her sitting on the counter, legs dangling while you cooked. You turned to look at him and smiled “Morning John” Penelope rolled her eyes, “Apparently I have a younger brother. Lets keep it at that folks” you and him both started laughing and he could feel a flush creeping up his neck.
He shook his head “Yeah yeah yeah” trying to hide that his daughter had just called him out for how he still felt about her mother. He walked over to you and the moment he was close enough, you leaned back into his touch when he looked over your shoulder for the coffee maker. He hesitated for just a second before letting one hand fall gently to your waist.
You looked over at Pen then up at him, “You are trying so hard not to smile. Your eyes are doing that crinkling thing they’ve always done” he could’ve melted on the spot. You, leaning into him, knowing him so well, even after all these years apart.
Penelope cleared her throat and you both turned to look at her, John’s hand still on your waist. She motioned between both of you, “You’re taking her out on a date before you start kissing on her in the kitchen, dad”
He stared at her for a moment, wide eyed. She’d been using nicknames a lot, dad was sparingly. She grinned, rolling her eyes with a laugh, “What? You’re my dad. I may as well start using it regularly and mom hasn’t looked at anyone like that from what I’ve seen. She loved Lukas but she didn’t even look at him quite like that”
He looked from her back down at you, “That right?” you ducked your head, “You’ve been in my heart” Penelope grunted “No sappy shit please. I want to keep my appetite” "Language!” you laughed and she shrugged, “Grandpa always said as long as it was used correctly”
She slid up to grab some eggs so John bumped her shoulder “Well ma’am do I have your permission to talk to your mom on the back porch?" she raised an eyebrow “Permission granted”
You plated yourself some eggs then John some, added him some extra paprika pulver on his and from the way he grinned it appeared that was still his favorite way to have them. The two of you headed to the back porch like the night before. For a while neither of you spoke, you just ate and enjoyed being close.
He broke the silence first, “Would you like to go out with me? On a date? Try this for real” you cut your eyes at him, “Are you sure?” he nodded, “Never been more sure” you smiled, pressed a kiss to his shoulder and he had to close his eyes for just a moment, a flush creeping up his neck before you said “I’d love to”
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John had to leave not long after breakfast. Yelena called with a mission. Penelope hugged him and after he left she knocked her shoulder against yours, “You look good together” you winked at her “I know, we made a real cute kid huh?”
John was doing amazing, juggling visitations with Eli, missions. He would call on the jet, text and facetime at random. Everything to make sure you and Penelope knew this wasn’t an obligation to him, it wasn’t just him seeing you again and nostalgia. He wanted this.
A few weeks passed before your first date. It was simple, he knew you. You didn’t like grand gestures or huge, expensive places. Once you and Pen were settled home, you went to your favorite place. You and John talked over a couple steaks and some beer. You and Olivia both wanted the kids to meet, to know their siblings. John was nervous of course but agreed. He wanted his kids knowing each other.
By the time he walked you to the front door you could tell he was nervous still. You stepped close to him, “Daddy isn’t inside this time” he laughed, “No, worse. Our daughter is” you laughed and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you later handsome” when you pulled away he had the cutest smile on his face. “I’ll call you when I get back home”
You were picking at your rings. You were nervous. You’d traveled to Georgia with John. It was time for Penelope to meet Elijah. You stood holding Pen’s hand when Olivia opened the door, a little boy at her side that you knew was Eli. He looked too much like John.
Olivia smiled at you warmly but her eyes softened even more when they landed on Penelope. “Hey sweetie” she squatted down next to Eli, “Hey baby. This is Penelope. Your big half sister” Eli looked up at Penelope with wide eyes. “You look like a whole person”
Everyone burst out laughing and that seemed to ease the tension as Eli grabbed her hand “Come on! I’ll show you my swings”
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You sat at the small table on Olivia’s patio sipping the lemonade she gave you. John had stepped away to answer a call from Bucky. “I never blamed you for being a sore spot” she murmured after a moment. You sighed, looking at the kids then back at her “I loved him Olivia, still do. I just wanted him to have a good life when I got pregnant with her that young and he did. He fell in love with a good woman, got married, had an adorable son. I’m sorry for any harm I inadvertently caused in your early relationship but know I’d protect Eli with my life the same way I would Penelope”
She nodded, “The past happened either way. I don’t regret mine and John’s time. We got Eli out of it and now look at him with his big sister” the two of you looked over and Penelope was currently going down the slide with Eli.
“He’s doing better. He’s changed so much. Our children deserve the best version of their father. I know you’ll treat Eli well. I’ll treat Penelope well. She’s welcome here whenever she and Eli want to see each other” “He’s welcome in my home too” you agreed and she smiled, holding her hand out, you gave it a gentle squeeze “To blended families then” she was dating, John had already vetted him. It made you feel better about this whole thing.
Months passed, you and John dated. Eli would come stay here and there with Penelope. Penelope would go stay with Eli. It worked well. John, you could tell, was deliriously happy at seeing his kids together. You and him were taking it slow. A kiss here, a touch there.
This weekend was your six month anniversary. His and Penelope’s ideas, not yours. She’d asked to stay with Olivia and Elijah. You’d agreed after Olivia made it clear Elijah asked first.
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After getting home, you walked in the door with John right behind you. “So, no kid in the house. Whatever shall we do?” you laughed. You turned to face him and laughed again. He looked so unsure. “John?” he shrugged, “I don’t want to push anything”
You laughed, “Come here” you drug him into a kiss and he groaned low when you covered his hands with yours, guiding them under your shirt. He broke off from the kiss, forehead dropping to yours “Has it really been years since I touched your skin?” his fingers traced the soft curves of your hips and you had to bite back a moan. “I want you John, please”
“Fuck” the next moment he was picking you up like you weighed nothing. You gasped, wrapping your legs around his waist, lips finding his. “Bed, now” you spoke into the kiss as he nodded, nipping at your bottom lip before making his way to the bedroom.
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Every piece of clothing that was shed, every inch of skin that was exposed to him, John treated like the most precious experience. He wanted to take his time, explore your body, admire every new mark you had, every scar, reacquaint himself with every sound you would make, with your taste.
Your legs were shaking around his head, sweat covering your body in a fine sheen, your fingers were buried in his hair. He was drunk on you. Your taste, your sounds, having you again. You tugged his hair with every bit of strength you had left and he finally looked up and could’ve cum on the spot. Your eyes were glassed over, hair a mess and you looked like straight sin, “Come here, please” he kissed his way up your body, admiring a few marks he’d left behind from his mouth along the way.
When he got to your lips, you dragged him into a messy kiss, moaning deeply when your tongues tangled and you tasted yourself on him. Your hand dipped between your bodies and when he felt your warm palm wrap around his achingly hard cock, he let out a shuddering breath. “Fuck me John, please”
“Don’t ever beg baby” he cooed, shifting to line up. When he pushed in you both gasped, your head falling back just enough to give him access to that pretty neck. He kissed across the soft skin, giving you time to adjust to him. You’d always needed it when you were younger, let alone now.
After a moment you nodded so he started a slow but deep grind. You tilted your hips to meet his, wrapping your legs around his waist, “So good Johnny” his hips stuttered hearing that name fall from your lips. He moved to wrap both arms around you, “Gotta be closer”
You nodded, lips brushing his. “I love you” that was the first time you really said it again. He felt his entire body jolt like an eclectic shock. He froze for a second, leaning up to stare at your face. He saw you flush, “What?” “Nothing baby, I just love you so damn much” his lips crashed against yours, hips grinding into yours, trying to push even deeper.
——————
You lay there across John, his fingers tracing shapes onto your bare body. “I missed you so damn much. I loved Liv, still do to a certain point but you? You were a huge part of my heart that got ripped out that day and I never got it back, never wanted it back, just wanted you. I love you so damn much. Never really stopped”
You pressed a kiss to his chest “I missed you too John so much. I felt horrible for leaving like that but then dad would find out about your accomplishments, I found out about your marriage. I wanted the interviews for the mantle..honestly? Pen may have a John Walker action figure in the attic”
He sat up, one eyebrow raised “What?” you shrugged “Not every day a little girl’s daddy gets an action figure” he shook his head, laying back down and dragging you over on top of him. “I understand why you made that choice. I just wish I would’ve been there for you, for her” you pressed a kiss to his neck “You’re here now”
He nodded, tilting his head up to stare at you before a smile slipped onto his face “And maybe one day my girls will decide they want my last name somewhere on them too?” “John, are you proposing?” he nodded, eyes glued to your face. “I know it’s only officially been six months but I love you. You don’t have to say yes now, I just want to put the option out there”
“Let’s talk to Pen when she gets home” you said and he nodded then smirked “Who do you think picked the ring?” you buried your face in your chest, feeling your heart flip. “Yes John, I’ll marry you. Not like a rush to the altar thing but yes I’ll marry you” his smirk slipped into the brightest grin you’d ever seen, “I’ve waited this many years for you. I can wait however longer you need” then he dragged you down into a kiss.
he goes from distrusting you to wanting you more than anything
“What the fuck was that?” you knew they meant you. You moved a bit too fast, even when you stood still, your body had a habit of giving a sense of movement. You didn’t mean to, it was just something that happened, an underlying current of sorts.
You were near the shadows of the room, watching curiously as the other four fought. Ava Starr also known as Ghost, Yelena Belova the second most powerful widow to come of the redroom,Antonia Dreykov the task master she had the ability to perfectly duplicate any fighting style she faced and him, John Walker the disgraced Captain America. It was a thing of beauty really, four humans that could fight like they could, move with their abilities, be as agile and as resilient.
When Dreykov fell, you whistled low. That move was impressive. Starr had barely put her down before she put Walker down while he was distracted fighting Belova. This may have gone very differently.
“What the fuck was that?” Walker’s voice was deep, a little rough from the fight. Belova turned towards where you were, her eyes narrowing “Morri?”
You finally stepped out, slipping your daggers back into their sheaths now that it seemed Valentina’s master plan had been uncovered. She’d wanted all of you to do her dirty work, that explained why you’d been told “Take out whatever target is left”
“Nice to see you again Yelena” you spoke low. Walker looked between you and her, “Who is she?” you cut your eyes at him “John Walker, disgraced Captain American, now one of Val’s attack dogs. Nice to meet you” you told him your name then added “Yelena called me Morri, short for Morrigan. One of the Irish widows gave me that nickname when I got pulled into helping them get out. It stuck”
Ava stepped up next, her eyes drifting across you and you smiled. Of course she’d pick up on it before John. “What are you?” you let your smile get just a tiny broader, just enough for the tips of your fangs to pop out. John took a step back, Ava’s eyes widened, Yelena was the only one who didn’t react.
“Great just what we needed, former red room assasin, shield reject and a fucking vampire” John grumbled under his breath. You tilted your head at Yelena and she shrugged, “We gotta get out of here” Bob the poor bastard who’d been locked into one of the storage containers eyed you cautiously “Like a vampire, vampire?” you nodded, “Like drink blood, hard to kill, live for a very long time vampire”
“We really need to get out of here before she gets hungry” John waved a hand at you and you smirked “Don’t worry Walker, I’d starve before I let a fang grace your neck” Ava chuckled “Oh I like her already”
John glared at you, you hadn’t said a word during his little tantrum about how he must have been sent to bring you all in, up until the alarm started blaring and the heat started rising. “Still believe she doesn’t mean to kill us all?” he scoffed, “What do you propose we do fang face?” you took a step towards him but Yelena slid between you both before fighting could happen, “Easy Morri. The field they have to stop Ava, it must have its own power source, we find it and shut it down then she can open the door from the outside” you nodded, eyes never leaving John’s “Good, lets do that so I don’t have to look at his face again”
All of you spread out, looking around the room then a low buzzing hit your ears. You looked up and Ava was running her hands along a wall “It’s warmer here” you stepped closer and the buzzing got louder “Bingo baby” you popped the panel off and there it was. Everyone ran over, Yelena was going to try to disable it but John instead smashed it with his shield.
“Hope that worked. Go” you nodded to Ava. she disappeared through the door and the four of you stood there, the seconds ticking down. A laugh escaped your lips. After everything you’d lived through, fucking Valentina would be your end. Yelena stepped closer and you saw her close her eyes like she was accepting the inevitable. John muttered “I should’ve known” and Bob didn’t say a word then at the last moment the door slid open so you all ran.
The force from the fire knocked you in different directions. You were slammed into John’s shoulder and the last thing you saw before you went down was Yelena and Bob crashing into each other.
You shook yourself when consciousness flooded back “Didn’t know vampires could get knocked out” John was holding a hand out to you and you batted it away, getting up on your feet “Bet you think we can’t go out in the sunlight either? Don’t believe everything you read in books Walker”
Ava smirked, catching your gaze “Have I mentioned I like you?” you laughed “I like you more than him not saying a lot but it’s something” Yelena shook her head “A way out?”
Of course Valentina would have a plan. “So, we fight our way out. No big deal” you shrugged, rotating your neck in a circle. You could take a few bullet holes. It would hurt like hell, you’d be in rough shape until you fed but you’d be fine.
“Or we plan a little better and hopefully you don’t have to be canon fodder” Yelena offered and you grinned, a fang popping out “Get out my head Belova” she shrugged “Quit being easy to read”
After Bob ended up showing that he apparently wasn’t in the vault by mistake. He’d been an experiment and a successful one. He took more bullets than you would’ve survived and flew, you, John, Ava and Yelena ended up in the desert when the force of his crash landing wrecked the truck you escaped in. Yelena produced the paperwork she’d found on the Sentry project and John told you all everything he knew.
The plan was to walk until a road was found, get to a nearby airstrip and try to find a plane. You were walking next to Ava when John asked if anyone was hungry. You watched while he peeled cactus berries for them. He eyed you, a raised eyebrow “Do you eat like food?” you shook your head, “No and for the record I’m not looking to chomp on anyone either”
Yelena shrugged, eating the berry “She’s not rough when she has to. I’ve let her feed from me once. Didn’t hurt, didn’t scar” John and Ava looked between you both. “What?” Ava asked and Yelena shrugged “Her body was shredded from taking bullets for me. I wasn’t about to let her die”
“I was helping to get widows out. I did what I had to” it wasn’t a big deal to you. You hated that place, had worked for years with anyone you could to get women out. When Yelena broke out of the brainwashing and found you, you were more than happy to join her.
“Wow” John murmured so you shrugged “No worries. I fed before the vault. I have no major injuries. I’m good for a good twelve hours before I’ll get hungry, sixteen to eighteen before I’ll start getting sluggish. As long as there’s no big fight I’m good for at least a solid day, day and a half at full strength"
“After that?” Ava asked. You shrugged, “I’ll injure closer to a human after the forty eight hour mark. After the seventy two hour mark, well just leave me” “It won’t come to that Malyshka” Yelena assured you with a smile. You looked over at John who was making no secret of the fact that he didn’t trust you “Let’s hope not”
That seemed like so long ago. You were now a team, officially the “new avengers” John still didn’t trust you, you tried not to let it bother you. Everyone else did at least so what did it matter that he gave you a wide berth or that you chose to feed in the privacy of your room on the rations that Mel dropped off once a week from god only knows where. You loved being close to Yelena again, you and Ava had formed a good friendship, Bob was a sweetheart, Bucky you could vaguely remember running into during his soldier days and Alexei was at least tolerable.
You were in the gym, laughing as Ava phased in and out. She was giving you one helluva work out even with your abilities. It was fun. John walked in and your smile fell. You didn’t like how close he watched when you sparred with anyone, like he half expected you to sink your fangs into them.
A part of you told yourself it was because he’d never encountered a vampire and you turned everything he thought he knew on its head, that he didn’t like you being stronger. The other part told you he was holding a prejudice against you for being turned so many years ago.
Either way, you didn’t like occupying the same space as him for very long. He didn’t trust you and you weren’t about to push things. You caught Ava on the next round and laughed weakly “I’m calling it Starr” she raised an eyebrow “Really Mori?” you cut your eyes across the gym and she groaned under her breath “Ugh, ok but movie night? My floor, just me, you, Bob and Lena?” you grinned,a careful action you’d been practicing to keep your fangs in during, “See you then”
____________
John watched you walk out and felt Ava’s eyes on him. He hadn’t said anything to you, hell you were never around him long enough for him to say anything to you. Still he knew it was because he didn’t outright trust you for the longest, he never made it a secret and now that he’d gotten used to you, started to actually like you, it was too late. You were holding him to how he’d acted and he had no idea how to fix things.
“Morrigan! You’re going with him” you stood across from Bucky, your arms crossed, fighting the urge to hiss at him you were so angry. “He hates me, Bucky! First chance he’ll let me get shot all to hell and while I don’t necessarily mind it if the situation calls for it, that shit still hurts like hell!”
He sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I’m going with Ava and Yelena. It’s John or Alexei and do you really want to go on a mission that requires some form of stealth with Alexei?”
You let out a small growl and he raised an eyebrow “That you agreeing?” you rolled your eyes “That’s me saying that I’d rather do damn near anything else but I guess I’ll meet him in the fucking jet hangar won’t I? You and Lena dropping us at the safe house?” he grimaced “A few clicks away?”
You rolled your eyes and threw up your hands “Whatever, fuck it”
John watched you pace the back of the jet. You always wore very little kevlar, hardly no protection from bullets or blades. Yeah you healed fast but it still took a toll on your body. He wished you’d wear something more. Something instead of just the tact suit Yelena had finally talked you into. Daggers on your thighs, a gun in the holster and that was it. You fought ferally, especially when you were protecting. It was a thing of beauty really.
He didn’t know why Bucky had assigned you and him together but he just hoped you weren’t too pissed. Pissed meant distracted and you could get hurt. Had you packed enough rations to heal if need be? Not like he could ask. You would just say he was accusing you of wanting to bite him. He didn’t want to take that route again, he was tired of accidentally offending you so damn much.
The base was cleared fast enough. The few guards inside were really not much for you and John combined. You had hard drives stashed in the tops of your boots and you were grateful you’d put them there. You hadn’t expected the lab coats to put up that much of a fight. One managed to slash your side pretty decent before you snapped his neck. It was already healing but it had been deep enough your clothes were sticking to you with the blood. You weren’t about to tell John that, especially while the two of you hiked through the woods to the safehouse. You had to get back there to radio Yelena and Bucky.
____________
John knew his sense of smelling wasn’t as good as yours but he could still smell the fresh blood. He wasn’t going to say anything, hoped it wasn’t yours. The two of you trekked into the safehouse and you immediately made a dash for the radio “Come in bumblebee” that was what you called Yelena these days.
After a moment the radio fuzzed in “Morri, you two good?” “As good as Walker ever is” you replied and he didn’t say anything, just sat his shield down. She clicked her tongue “Good, it’s going to be morning until we can come” “What?” you sounded panicked enough John’s head shot up. What was wrong? He knew you didn’t like being in close quarters but would it really be that bad?
“I’m sorry. I’ll bring them when I come” you sighed, looking back over at him and dropping your eyes “I’ll be fine. Stay safe, see you soon” you hung the radio up and walked to the far side of the room. Your back hit the wall and you slid down, curling up into a ball, not even bothering to remove the daggers from the sheaths.
“Something wrong?” he asked softly, perching on the edge of the couch. The safehouse had some clothes both of you could change into, get showers and be a bit more comfortable but he didn’t want to leave you alone. You shook your head “M’fine. Go shower”
He knew not to push so he just stood up. “I won’t be long. I know you like the water hot” and walked out.
You looked up when John walked out. How the hell did he know that? You felt a tremor run through your side while your body worked to knit the flesh back together. A fucking lab coat damn near gutted you and now it would be morning until you’d get to feed. You’d be miserable all night but you’d have to deal with it. It wasn't like there was another option.
____________
John was sitting on the couch, cleaning his weapons when he heard a noise that sounded vaguely like someone stumbling. He was up and across the floor to the bathroom door before he even thought about it. “Mor? You good?” you mumbled, “Yeah, should’ve fed from the damn labcoat that got me”
“Got you?” he wasn’t sure what that meant but you didn’t say anything else and a moment later the bathroom door opened. You looked a little worse for the wear. “Are you ok?” you nodded “M’fine. Damn lab coat bout gutted me when I was distracted because that explosion went off and I didn’t know where you were” the moment you realized what you said your eyes got big. “Never mind”
You started to step around John but his hand shot out, closing around your arm “Can I see?” you looked from his hand up to his eyes, what you hoped was a teasing smile on your face “If you want to see me without a shirt just ask Walker”
He rolled his eyes so you nodded, “Fine” you walked over to the bed, gingerly pulling the shirt over your head. You had a camisole underneath that covered your breasts.
John sucked in seeing the raised puckered skin on your side where your body was working to heal the damage. He reached out like he wanted to touch it but hesitated so you nodded “Go ahead” when his fingertips touched it you hissed between your teeth “One thing the stories got right? Silver blades hurt like a bitch”
“You need to feed” he mumbled and you laughed “No shit. I didn’t pack provisions” “Use me” he offered and your eyes shot up to him. “No”
You walked across the floor, slipping your shirt back on. He followed you “Come on, what if more agents come in finding the base destroyed and track us? What if we need to hike to evac in the morning? You need to be at full strength” “I’ll be” you were already being sluggish, a few more hours you’d barely be above human speed but he didn’t need to know that. You could still fight. You’d survive until evac.
John watched you. He didn’t want to push. He knew this was his fault. The little comments over time, the distrust. Why would you take blood from him when he used to use “fang face” more than your actual name or the nickname the widows had deemed you with?
“Look, you saved my ass back there. Let me return the favor. Yelena said it doesn’t hurt. Let me help” he knew you could kill him with a flick of your wrist but when you looked up at him you really didn’t look like that much of a threat. You looked tired, scared and like a kid with a treat getting dangled in front of them afraid if they reached for it they may get their hand smacked.
“I’ll take bare minimum, I promise” you whispered and he indeed. “What do I need to do?” you looked around then nodded to the table “Sit down, I’ll um this is so damn embarrassing, can I sit in your lap just so I can assure I keep a touch on your pulse?” “Did you do that with Belova?” he asked, the corner of his mouth ticking up. You crossed your arms and would've blushed if you had the capability “Matter of fact I did”
He opened his mouth then clamped it shut “Oh”
____________
John settled himself in the chair and watched as you straddled his waist, barely letting any weight press down onto him. You shifted to cradle his head and he felt two of your fingers fall to one side of his neck, to his pulse while your mouth hovered near the other side “Are you sure about this John?” he nodded, swallowed hard then said “Yeah
You leaned in and he felt just the tip of your tongue run across his skin and barely suppressed the shiver before a sharp stinging went through his neck followed by a warm haze spreading across his body. Your lips connected to his neck, tongue and throat moving as the blood from the puncture wound you’d just caused started to seep into your mouth. He heard you make a soft sound but could barely register anything over the sensation he was experiencing. It felt like too soon and you were pulling away, tongue lapping at his neck and he could feel the skin mending. You pulled back to meet his eyes and he groaned seeing you lick his blood off your lips. You cupped his cheeks, talking in a low voice to him. He wasn’t sure what you were saying at first so he just put his hands on your waist. It was the best thing he’d ever felt.
You were worried for a second until John grinned slightly, thumbs starting to trace circles on your waist then you knew he was back. Your system felt like it was in overdrive. The skin on your side was mended, along with any other damage. You’d never had any blood from someone with the serum. It was intoxicating, sweet, and sat perfectly on your tongue. It was the best blood you’d ever tried.
“Thank you John. next time I’ll pack provisions no matter what” you spoke so softly, hands still moving over his face. “I only took just enough” you promised and he nodded slowly “I trust you” he realized in that moment he really did. The shock that spread across your face told him you hadn’t expected that. He’d been warming up to you, more and more and here you were so soft. He could feel himself starting to grow a bit infatuated with you and when you climbed off his lap to grab him a couple protein bars and some water, he craved tugging you back. He never should’ve judged you for what you were. You hadn’t chosen this. You’d just made the best of it.
When you handed him the food and water you reminded him gently “You need to rest too. I know you’ll probably recover faster but you did just donate” you gave him a small smile and he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. Donate. He liked that. “You needed it”
You nodded towards the bedroom “Take the bed. I’m good on the couch. I only need two hours anyways” he nodded “Sleep tight” you grinned, the blood staining your lips fainting “Don’t let anything else bite”
John watched you on the jet, laughing at something Yelena said, your fangs showing you were smiling so broadly. His mind drifted to how it felt when they sank into his neck. He craved to feel that again. Other images joined them, you under him, writhing in pleasure while his teeth sank into your throat.
He had to shake his head to clear those thoughts. Wouldn’t be a good look to get hard on the way home.
You had to stop thinking about John. Stop lingering on the fact that he offered his blood when you weren’t critically injured, something that was intimate. No one had ever done that besides when you were right on the line of true death. The way it felt being in his arms and having him in yours even for just a short time. You had to stop. You couldn’t entertain those thoughts but they wouldn’t stop dancing through your head, him using that super soldier strength to its fullest as he pinned you under him.
His blood still felt like it lingered on your tongue. The little noises he’d made haunted your ears. The little tiny grunt of pain when your fangs went in, the soft groans. You had to stop thinking about it.
John was changing towards you, it was subtle at first. Offering to train with you, telling you not to hide away in your room to feed because no one else had to take their food and hide, just wanting to be around you more. You liked John, really liked John but wasn’t sure what this change was about. You hadn’t done anything besides feed on him and you’d purposely been as gentle as possible.
____________
You were all in a debriefing room when Bucky motioned to you then John “You two are together. Its a two day mission, Mor, pack provisions this time” you grinned as you flipped him off. You noticed John’s eyes flickering towards you, almost like he wanted to say something but he didn’t.
John could’ve kicked Bucky for reminding you to pack provisions. He was more than willing to offer his throat to you. You were all he could think about. It had taken him too long to realize he liked you, really liked you. He was falling for you. The damned vampire he’d mocked, distrusted, fed and now couldn’t stand being far away from. The question was could you ever feel the same?
The mission went beautifully between your abilities and John’s training. It was a fairly smooth fight, even if he scolded you for putting your body in the line of fire over his. You weren’t scheduled for evac until the following day so you were taking time to catch your breath and relax around the safehouse.
You were sitting on the couch next to John when he finally looked your way “Can I ask something?” “Yeah?” he hesitated, a tiny smirk slipping onto his face “Did my.. Did my blood taste any different?”
Had you been able to blush this would’ve been yet another time he would’ve made you. “What?” he shrugged, looking away “You um.. You moaned a little”
You groaned under your breath before finally replying “It was honestly the best blood I’ve ever tasted. I could feel the serum surge into me too” “The best huh?” this time he was actually blushing.
You nodded, “It’s nice. Sweet but earthy. Hard to explain but it’s amazing honestly and the fact that you offered..” you trailed off because you didn’t want to get into what that meant. You cleared your throat and added “I know you didn’t really trust me before so it was even more so that trust you put in me. It made it taste better. People that don’t give willingly taste bitter, you were the sweetest I’ve ever had”
John knew he should stop but he couldn’t help the sheepish “You know you can again.. Whenever you want” that fell from his lips. You smiled softly “I’d never take from you unless I really needed it John. I don’t like taking from any of the team” he reached out for your hand, gently wrapping his around it. “I trust you and I’d like to be there it you needed it. Whenever that may be” you laughed weakly, the offer making your mind run wild.
“Still, I usually have enough rations in my room. I trust you too for the record and thank you” he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth then moved to face you “And if I told you I wanted you to? It I told you it felt good?”
“That” you hesitated, trying to ignore the flood of heat his words caused through your core. “That’s not unusual. It’s the endorphins. It can be dangerous if I feed off you too often. My body could get used to your blood, crave it. I’d never hurt you but still” you didn’t want to tell him you already craved him, that the rations tasted just a bit off since him.
His head fell back against the cushions, a low groan leaving him before he finally said “Honey, if you want me to spell it out I will. I want you to bite me. I want to bite you back. I don’t care if you take too much as long as my blood is inside of you” you had to bite back a moan at that admission and when he looked back up the heat in his eyes told you the need was just as bad in him as it was in you.
“John, that’s damn near mating for vampires” you wanted him to be sure. He nodded “I know sweetheart. You’re all I can think of” you hesitated for another moment before your lips crashing against his, a low “Fuck” escaping you when he groaned into your mouth when your fangs nicked his bottom lip. You lapped the bit of blood, your tongue meeting his.
He pulled you into his lap fully, ripping your shirt off with an urgent “Off” neither of you cared about the shreds of shirt hanging from your waist, you ripped his with one hand. “Can take one of mine” he offered, nodding at your now bare chest. His lips moved down your throat and you whined “You’re sure? Once you bite me as well, it mates us John”
You were interrupted by a pathetic sounding whimper falling from your lips when his teeth sank into the bend of your neck. Your back arched, pushing you further into him. The feeling of being claimed, mentally and physically by him was overwhelming and had pleasure coursing through your veins.
John lapped at your neck, “Good, you taste so fucking sweet” he needed you. He was drunk on your taste, your sounds. You were whimpering so pretty when you were usually the strongest on the team.
Before he could swallow your blood you shook your head “Don’t swallow yet” he wasn’t about to question you, especially when you tilted his head, your teeth sinking into his pulse. You didn’t feed, you just punctured the skin, lapping up the blood then crashed your lips against his. The blood mixed on your tongues, the perfect mixture of filth and need.
He flipped you onto your back, tugging at your pants “need you, now” both of you were bare in no time and when he pushed in, it was like electricity ran between you, moans filling the room. You wrapped your legs around his waist, tongue lapping at his neck while he sucked at yours.
Neither of you had to care about bruises, about hurting each other. You could give into every desire, every hunger. When your orgasm hit you, you moaned his name, fangs sinking into the previous bite on his neck and his entire body quivered when his own orgasm found him as he filled you with his release. He gave a few more weaker thrusts to ease you both through the aftershocks before stilling.
John leaned up after a moment to look at you, hair falling around your face, a dazed smile and his bite mark, clear as day on your neck. You weren’t kidding about the bind this would cause. His half hard cock twitched inside of you at the thought of being yours.
You noticed John’s stares and ran your fingers across your bite on his neck “Regretting it?” you were scared what he would say but he quickly shook his head “Of course not. I am basking in the fact that I am bound to the most amazing creature I have ever met”
Your soft smile eased every worry he had, quieted his mind of any thought besides that you were his. He helped you into his arms, carrying you to the shower so you both could clean off the leftover blood.
“People are gonna ask about the marks” you murmured into John’s chest once you were both laying across the bed, well him on the bed and you across him. You were still a little worried he’d gotten caught up in the moment. “Good, they’ll see you’re mine and I’m yours” he murmured, kissing your temple.
You pressed a kiss over his heart and had almost dozed off when he mumbled “No feeding off anyone else on the team unless absolutely necessary please?” you grinned, “Oh handsome, you couldn’t lose me” and he gave you a bright smile. “I’m already falling in love with you” “I’m already falling in love with you too John” you replied, pulling him into a kiss, his fingers found his mark on your neck and he grinned into the kiss “My girl”
You touched your mark on him, “My guy” he nodded “Damn right”
“John, these marks…the bond…we’re connected” you hoped he realized just how far that went. He raised an eyebrow “How so?” you shrugged, running your fingers over one of the scars on his chest, “You’ll feel when I need to feed, I’ll feel when you’re hungry or getting sick. If one of us gets gravely injured it could kill the other one if its bad enough”
“Then turn me, we won’t ever lose the other one” your heart would’ve stuttered had it been beating. “John, that’s a bigger decision than the mating bond” he nodded, pushing your hair back from your face “I know, I’m serious. I’d rather have you in a thousand life times” you shook your head, brushing a kiss against his lips “Maybe one day but for now, we both know to be more careful..for each other’s sake”
“Ok sweetheart” he tucked you against his chest and it wasn’t long before his breathing evened out and you knew he was asleep. He chose you, even if he once didn’t trust you, even if you weren’t human. He chose you. You pressed a kiss to his chest and closed your eyes, feeling more peaceful than you had in a very long time.
Medical discharge. He could write to you to let you know he was headed home but chances were he’d get there before the letter. He was nervous, what if things had changed? What if you thought he was dead? He’d been radio silent for a couple months now. He couldn’t even blame you if you moved on…not really. It would rip him in two but he could blame you. Had you strayed? Had you stayed as faithful as you promised you would? Did you still live in the apartment the two of you once shared? The place you swore would be your home until future plans were made, the need for more room happened in the form of babies.
He leaned his head back against the window of the bus, trying to get comfortable despite his shoulder throbbing. He just needed to get home. He’d figure it out from there. There wasn't much else he could do anyways. The war was winding down and it was over for him.
You were cleaning your apartment, not like it really got that dirty but you liked the routine. You liked having something to keep you steady. Too long had passed since any mail had made it to your hands from Will. With every day that passed and your mailbox was empty, your heart shattered just a little more. Was he dead? Had every nightmare that haunted you over the last couple years finally come true? You couldn’t imagine life without him, true you’d been living it but you’d told yourself daily the war would be over, he would be home. You read his letters before bed, slept in his shirts, sprayed his cologne on the pillows, left his coffee mug on the counter, anything to still feel close to him.
If he was gone, the rest of your life would be spent simply clinging to remainders of the love you once had, waiting for your next life, your chance to find him again and to do it right, to not lose him.
You had just got through putting laundry away when you heard a knock at the door. You had no idea who it could be. You saw Will’s mother on Sundays. “Just a minute!” you called, hurrying across the floor. You felt your stomach tie into knots. What if it was a soldier telling you the news?
You opened the door and nearly fainted. There he stood, a sling on his arm but alive and whole. “Will?” you took a step forward, with every intention to hug him, kiss him but he flinched and you froze. “What’s wrong?” your voice was barely a whisper. He couldn’t meet your eyes, “I just..” he shook his head and your heart fell but you understood. He’d been gone for years, had seen horrors and was now injured it had to be a lot.
“It’s ok, you’re home. It’s all going to be ok”
You stepped back to let him inside, a part of him felt like a wild animal being approached with caution but he understood. He didn’t know how to handle what was going on inside his own head. His eyes flickered around the apartment, photos of you and him still in the same places, his belongings where he’d left them, his chipped coffee mug you’d gotten him when the two of you first moved in together sitting on the counter next to your own.
“You never forgot me” he didn’t mean to say it outloud, didn’t honestly want you thinking he doubted you but the astonishment he felt was a little too hard to hide. Too many stories, too many betrayals. You nodded, eyes wet with tears you tried to hide from him, “You’re the love of my life Will. If something happened to you, I’d have spent the rest of this life clinging to reminders of you, waiting for the next one and the chance to do it right, to not lose you”
That made him ache, made him wish he could bring himself to touch you, to hold you but he couldn’t quite yet. He did meet your eyes finally, “I’ve never stopped loving you and never will” you smiled softly “Are you hungry? I’ll get some dinner ready handsome” he nodded, watching you move around the apartment. You walked into the bedroom and came back out after a moment before waving your hand back towards it “I laid out some different clothes, fresh towels if you’d like to shower. I could help if you need it with your shoulder I assume”
He shook his head “Docs taught me how to handle it” your shoulders fell but you kept that gentle smile “Of course love. I’ll get food ready”
You laid there staring up at the ceiling, begging sleep to take you before the tears did. You felt so selfish. He was here, he was home and alive. So what if he didn’t want to sleep in the bed with you? You could walk to the door of the bedroom and see him on the couch.
You didn’t want him hearing you cry yourself to sleep again, he was so close yet still so far away your heart was cracking right down the middle. You would be fine, you could do this for Will. So what if he barely touched you? He was in the house.
So what if you had to bite back a sigh when the two of you did brush against each other in passing because you missed his touch so much. You would do this. You would go through anything for that man.
____________
Will lay on the couch, listening to the light sobs coming from the bedroom and hating that he didn’t know how to comfort you anymore. He was trying so hard to get back to you still. You had been amazing, gentle words, not touching unless he did. He wanted nothing more than to just bury himself in the love he knew was still very much alive between the two of you but had no idea how.
It started small. You would find a note from Will that he’d left before work, something small like “I love you” or “See you tonight” . You cherished each one because it was him reaching out to you.
Then he would slip his arm around you in the kitchen, just a small gesture while you were doing something, dip his head down to rest his chin on your shoulder and stand there for a moment. Something that seemed so small but meant so much.
Finally after weeks you were half asleep and the door cracked open a little while before the bed dipped behind you and he pulled you back into his arms, your back flush against his chest and you had to stifle the whimper in your arm. “Why’d you wait?” he asked softly. “I would’ve wanted forever Will” you answered and closed your eyes, just enjoying his touch.
Will laid there, his arms around you and closed his eyes. War changed him so much, had taken so much but he was taking it back. He wasn’t letting war take him from you any longer. You were being so patient, waiting and being there. He was fighting and would continue fighting for you.
You were so warm in his embrace, a warmth he had been missing for far too long. He could feel it seep into his body and felt his muscles relax as far as his mind would allow. He heard you let out a shuddered breath before you relaxed in his arms and knowing you were breathing easier made him feel both guilty for not being able to do this sooner and relieved because it just reinforced knowing that he still had the effect on you of being your comfort.
____________
You woke up and your heart nearly burst out of your chest when you realized Will was still wrapped around you, his breath warm on your neck. You could feel when he started to wake up, his hand that had slipped under the old shirt of his that you were wearing started to trail over your stomach, tracing little shapes. “I slept so good” he murmured low and you smiled. You’d also slept better than you had in years, after so long of showing up to work exhausted from nightmares you’d never tell him about because you didn’t want him feeling more guilty.
“Can we stay here a little while?” you asked softly and he hummed “Of course, wanna move back closer?” he still knew you so well. You scooted back a little and his arms tightened. His hands wandered a bit, gentle like he was just trying to make sure you were real. You closed your eyes to enjoy every little brush of his fingers.
When the alarm rang you didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to leave the bed and break the moment. “You shower first” he murmured and didn’t kiss your neck but nudged it with his nose before getting up.
____________
You walked into the kitchen and Will was standing at the window drinking coffee and he reached a hand out. You honestly could’ve cried. He pulled you into his arms, tucking you against his chest and the two of you stood there silently. You felt your body relax even further.
Before the two of you left to go your separate ways for work he leaned down to press his forehead to yours, “I love you” you swallowed hard, he was still fighting to get home to you and god you loved him so much for it. “I love you too Will” you whispered, seeing just a ghost of a smile on his face and your knees nearly buckled.
That started Will back sleeping in the bed with you. He would hold you every night, tell you he loved you before work. You didn’t push for more. You adored every bit of progress he made.
Will felt you move the first time and his eyes flew open, he looked down and you were clinging to him in your sleep, sobbing. “Baby, baby wake up” he shook you gently and you jolted, eyes wide. “Will?” he nodded, “Are you ok?” you nodded but you were still sniffling and shaking “Can I just stay close? Please?” he nodded “Of course” he knew it was a nightmare, guessed it was about him but wasn’t going to ask, you’d share when you wanted to, for now he was here. He would keep you safe from whatever was lurking in the darkness, that much he could do.
You walked into the kitchen after a shower, looking for coffee. He held out a hand and you smiled, expecting to get pulled against his chest and held until the pot was made but one of his hands gently fell to your hip, the other to your chin. His lips barely brushed against your lips like he was remembering how to do this but the moment you shuddered at the touch he smiled just barely and pulled you back into another kiss, this one similar to the one you shared the day he left.
You gasped so sweetly, an almost silent moan breaking in your throat. You’d been craving this for years. He sighed when you started to kiss him back, the more sure he became, the more sure you became. He deepened the kiss, nudging you back until you were stopped by the counter “Missed you, missed this so much” he groaned when the two of you separated for air.
“Missed you too” you barely got it out before he was pulling you into another kiss. You pulled back just enough to speak with your lips against his “Nothing more has to happen Will. you know that right?” his nose brushed against yours “I know honey and I love you so much for that”
The kisses got hungrier, needier, like every touch was bringing back the way you felt for each other before the war tarnished it. “Need you, please” he muttered, hands already hovering on the buttons of your shirt. You smiled “Bedroom handsome”
____________
You laid there, your fingers caressing the gunshot that had brought Will home to you. Your bare body was across his, your lips trailing across scars on his chest while his fingers traced shapes on your body. He pulled you into a kiss, tongue tangling with you before he pulled away, staring at you with so much love your heart ached “You wanna marry me?”
You froze, shock slamming into you. “You really mean it? I don’t want you to feel like you need to” he huffed out a quiet laugh and you could feel your cheeks warm, it was the closest to himself he’d sounded like since he got home.”I want” you let out a soft sob, lips finding his “My husband” “My wife”
You were laying across Lewis’ chest. He was fast asleep for once and you couldn’t sleep, you didn’t want to wake him however. It wasn’t nightmares that kept you up, wasn’t demons lurking in the darkness. No, it was good thoughts for once.
His birthday was coming up. June was fast approaching. The two year mark since Lewis killed a man for you, since the events of Ciel Blanc, since what the media now deemed as D-Day. So much had changed since then. You pressed a kiss to the mound of scarred tissue on his shoulder and he stirred, murmuring “You wanting to start something just let me know Pistol”
“Thinking about your birthday Lew” you admitted in the low light of the bedroom. His eyes slowly fluttered open, an easy smile working its way into his face “And why?” you shrugged, tracing the various scars, moles and freckles that littered your husbands’ body. “Because I almost lost you two years ago” his hand covered yours, “You didn’t” he knew you still had nightmares about that hook, same as he did. It terrified you especially bad, the thought that had he died it would’ve been because he killed Miller to protect you and that action was what landed him in Wafner’s cross hairs to begin with.
He must have seen the look that crossed your face because he turned just enough your body shifted under his, bracing himself on his forearm to hold his body up. He pressed a kiss to your lips, a grin on his “Besides, last year was a pretty damn good birthday if I do say so myself”
You felt your thighs tense, unable to clench considering your husband was currently between them when memories of his previous birthday flooded into your head. His first one home, the first one you actually got to spend together uninterrupted. It stormed all day, no one was able to come out in it and the two of you took full advantage of that. The entire day had been spent making love, sleeping in each other’s arms, just enjoying being together.
“Oh it was the best” you agreed, meeting his lips for a kiss. He nodded, shifting just enough to slip the panties you had on down your legs. You whined out his name when two thick fingers teased through your folds. He pulled away from your lips, pushing his fingers into you, curling them to hit that spot that immediately had you clenching around the digits. He studied your face for a moment, working his fingers into you. You could feel the pleasure building already, loved just how well he knew your body, loved seeing the pleasure he took in bringing you pleasure.
“Then why are you worrying?” he murmured, thumb falling to your clit. A few well pressured circles and your back arched, a moan of his name echoing off the bedroom walls as you came, your entire body shuddering under him. He worked you through your orgasms then slowly slipped his fingers out, bringing them to his mouth and holding your gaze while he licked them cleaned. You were panting to get your breathing back to normal and reached up to trace his scar under his eye and up through his eyebrow with a shaking hand “I want every day that celebrates you to be perfect” he groaned low, heading falling over into your touch “Fuck honey, you know the power you have over me. Don’t you?”
“I have some idea Lew, about the same power you have over me” a crooked smile slipped over his face as he turned his head just enough to kiss the tips of your fingers “Whatever you want, we’ll do. Ok?” you nodded, smiling “Good. Now come make love to your wife” he grinned, “Yes ma’am”
You didn’t want any big thing, knew Lewis wouldn’t either but he deserved to have a birthday. You started to plan. You invited Henderson and Henrietta, Boyce along with Chloe and Paul, Tibbet, Rosenfield then of course Lewis’ parents and his sister.
“I swear I think this one could get dropped in any situation and come out on the good side” Tibbet was teasing Lewis. The men were around the small fire in the backyard while your father grilled, you and Vivian were in the kitchen with Chloe finishing up Lewis’ cake.
Henderson grinned over his beer bottle. “Oh you mean catching shrapnel to the face and meeting the love of his life that was willing to walk into actual hell for him?” Even if Henderson hadn’t been in Ciel Blanc the other men trusted him with it and he’d believed them. He’d seen plenty. “Exactly! That woman jumped out a plane, stole a g.i.’s uniform and trekked through the dark to get to him and now look around” he motioned around the backyard and Lewis shook his head, “You’re a pain in the ass”
Boyce chuckled “Oh they’re meant for each other, just as crazy about the other one” Rosenfield nodded, “That’s the truth” Lewis smirked, “You all sound a bit jealous” the men chuckled, “Oh Pistol is our sister. Just know we would chose her over you”
About that time you walked out the backdoor, carrying the cake, laughing about something and they all saw how Lewis’ face softened. “Don’t think that would ever be an issue” Boyce chuckled and they all laughed in agreement.
____________
The night was winding down. Only Henderson, Hen, Boyce and Chloe remained. You all sat around the fire in the backyard, you were curled up in Lewis’ lap while all of you talked. “So, two years being home Ford. How’s it feel?” Henderson asked and Lewis nipped at your neck “he asking me or you?”
You looked back at him with a grin before answering “It feels amazing” you stared at Lewis, your fingertips tracing the scar that ran under his eye. This amazing man that made you feel safe from the first moment, that never rushed things even in a war zone, that killed to keep you safe, that you followed into the worst of places and would do so again without hesitation. “Happy birthday love”
He gave you that crooked smile you’d adored from the very first day, “Here’s to a lifetime more with you” “All he’s such a sap” Henderson laughed, Boyce cracked up then Chloe and Henrietta smacked them both.
Deputy Anders x Reader (We’re calling his first name Paul)
When Paul finds out you need a surgery your insurance doesnt cover, he has a solution
Fake marriage, pining, smidge of sexual happenings
“I’m glad he couldn’t come” you were nearly silent, staring at the results. Your sister Cheyenne was asking the doctor questions, timelines, medications, treatment. Things you should be asking. You knew your insurance wasn’t good enough for this. The doctors would get you in eventually but you wouldn’t be high on the list and the question was if it would be soon enough.
You’d come to the doctor because you were staying short winded, your chest was hurting and you had originally been told it was a leftover effect from that virus that ran rampant a few months back. As it turns out that wasn’t the case. Apparently you had a hole in your valve that was getting bigger. A few months ago, it may not have been that severe had it been caught then but now? You'd lost weight from it, you were paler than you had been and apparently there was now the chance of a ticking clock on the wall. “How long can I go without the surgery?”
You wouldn’t let Cheyenne get another mortgage on her place. She’d just paid it off. Doctor Lionels looked over his paperwork, read the results again and the look on his face told you all you needed to know “I’d like to operate within the month. We can't risk it going further than that. As is, it could get worse and…honestly you could die”
“My insurance won’t cover it” you admitted, eyes dropping to your hands. You had no idea what you were going to do. He looked at Cheyenne whose jaw was already tense “I can put you in touch with some charities. We can see about indigent care but ma’am we have got to get you scheduled within the next two weeks or I am afraid of what could happen”
You opened your mouth but no sound came out. You looked at Cheyenne and luckily she knew what you were trying to say. She looked at the doctor “We’ll call you before friday with arrangements to schedule” he nodded “Do not wait” “We wont” she promised.
The moment he walked out you looked at her, swallowing hard. “Can you.,. Can you call him?” you knew he was already upset he hadn’t been able to get off work when your doctor called you back about your appointment being moved up when your lab work had come in, you knew he’d want to know but you were afraid if you heard his voice right now you may cry. “Of course honey”
Anders sat down heavily at his desk, he was pissed he hadn’t been able to get off to go with you for this doctor’s appointment. You’d been sick off and on for months. It was scaring him and your sister. Now he had to sit and wait.
He was getting ready to say fuck it and go to the hospital despite being on shift when his phone rang with your sister’s number. Ok, that wasn’t necessarily a sign something was wrong. He swiped to answer and the moment she said “Paul, are you sitting down?” She never used his first name. He felt his heart hit his feet “what did they say Chey?”
“She…um she has a hole in the right valve of her heart” the room shifted around him. You had a hole in your heart. What did that even mean? “What does that mean Cheyenne? I’m a cop not a doctor”
She laughed wetly, he could hear the fact that she was holding back tears. “It’s not good. Doctor Lionels said he’d prefer to be able to operate within the next month, six weeks is pushing it”
“Ok, when’s it scheduled for?” Anders was already reaching for his mouse to send an email to the office’s secretary to let her know he was cashing in PTO hours. “Her insurance doesn’t cover it” “What?” How could insurance not cover that? “What happens if she doesn’t get the surgery?”
He needed to know, had to know. That question seemed to break the dam your sister had been holding back, a sob ripped out of her throat “We’ll lose her”
Cheyenne had to go, had to calm down to be able to take you home. Anders told her he’d be over as soon as he could. He was sitting there, staring blankly at his computer screen. They could lose you because of goddamn red tape. Because hospitals were too far concerned with making sure they got paid over losing human lives, over losing the most important life he’d ever known. You were his best friend, there at his side for everything. He loved you.
He scrubbed a hand down his face, blinking fast to force tears away. Fuck he loved you so damn much. He’d never risked saying a word because he didn’t want to lose you and now..
Wait. His fingers started moving across the keyboard before his brain caught up good to what idea was forming. His insurance. He paid the same regardless if he was a single man or for spousal benefits and he had damn good insurance. Cheyenne had told him the name of the surgery, the meds you’d need, the doctors. He started typing, cross checking. They were all covered. Every last thing.
He could get you on his insurance. You could get the surgery. One trip to the damn courthouse. That’s all it would take. He clicked another link to find out how long it took for spousal benefits to start. Apparently as soon as the marriage license was filed and he could email proof to the company it only took three business days. It was monday. He could have you on it before the week was out.
He shoved back from his desk, grabbed his hat and went to clock out. He didn’t care he was four hours before his shift ended. He had bigger worries.
You were half asleep on the couch, Cheyenne fussing around the kitchen. She was worried. You’d seen the tears on her face after she’d called Anders. You hoped she’d lightened it as much as she could for him. You turned over, a pain going through your shoulders and tried not to grimace but apparently you failed because she was across the house and to your side before you could draw another breath “Are you ok?”
“I’m not dying yet Chey” you murmured weakly and she shook her head “Not really funny considering” you gave her a small smile “Kind of funny”
She sat down next to you, putting a pillow on her legs and patted it. You shifted to lay on it and she started to run her fingers through your hair like she used to do when you were younger. “You’re gonna be ok, we’ll figure it out” “You’re not getting another mortgage” you refused to let her go into debt over you.
She opened her mouth, no doubt to argue but about that time the doorbell rang. You smiled up at her, “You need to get that” she rolled her eyes, “This isn’t over young lady” you grinned “Yes ma’am” she gently shifted you from her lap to the couch then went to answer the door.
You laid there for a moment just staring up at the ceiling. It was strange going from just feeling horrible overall the past few months to knowing there was an expiration date written somewhere. What would happen to Chey? Would you still be her sister when you were dead? Would she still buy red velvet cupcakes on your birthday? Laugh at your favorite movies, sing your favorite songs?
What would happen to Anders? Oh Anders. You loved that man with every part of you. He was your best friend, from when the two of you were young and he’d flush every time the other boys would teasingly call him “Paulie” he was a good man, the best. Handsome, loving, brave, loyal. You hoped he’d find someone to take care of his heart, someone who deserved him. At least now you wouldn’t have to go through the heartache of seeing him fall for someone else, right?
As if you summoned him you heard his voice and Cheyenne saying “Paul have you lost it?” you pushed yourself up off the couch and headed for the foyer. The two of them were standing close, talking. When you walked in they looked up like kids who had gotten caught conspiring to steal the cookie jar. “What’s going on?” you asked softly.
Cheyenne looked at him, he looked at her. She shrugged, “Go on” he half smiled, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. He was still in his uniform, he must have come straight from work. “Hey honey, your sister told me everything the doc said, even about your insurance not covering it” you nodded, leaning against the wall. “I will tell you what I told her Paul, no one is going into debt over me”
He nodded, that crooked grin that always made your heart stammer slipped onto his face. “Which leads to my next point..” he looked back at Cheyenne and she shrugged again so he turned back to you, a light flush on his cheeks. “Marry me”
“What?” had you already died? Was this some fucked up afterlife? You swayed slightly but he was faster and was across the floor catching you before you could think about fainting. You braced your hands against his chest “Have you lost it?”
He shook his head, bringing one hand up to push the hair out of your face “Trying not to lose you. Listen, my insurance has spousal benefits, damn good ones. It covers everything. Marry me, please? I can’t lose you”
You looked from him to Cheyenne and back. The two most important people on earth in your eyes, the ones you were just thinking about having to leave. You couldn’t do that. You couldn’t fake marry him. It could get him in trouble if the department found out, not to mention it may drive you crazy. “What about the department?” you asked softly.
He shrugged one shoulder “We’ll move enough of your stuff into my place to make it believable. We’re used to each other, and have been in each other’s lives for years. You’ll need help before and after the surgery. The department will let me off with pay for a spouse having a major surgery so I’ll be there to take care of you. You and Cheyenne can go find you a pretty dress and we can get married this week, tomorrow if you’re up for it”
You nodded slowly, staring into those ocean blue eyes you couldn’t imagine being forced to say goodbye to, not without a fight “Ok, Paul Anders. I’ll marry you”
“Chey, am I doing the right thing?” you were currently sitting on the chair in the dresser room of the store she’d found because you’d gotten winded looking at dresses. Fake or not, you refused to show up to your wedding day to Anders looking like a mess. “You mean marrying your best friend who you’re actually head over heels for and have been for years or the insurance fraud?” she asked, a soft smile on her face. She was still terrified, the surgery could fix you but it was fourteen hours under the knife, still a risk of you not waking up. You could overlook the teasing.
“All of it?” you asked softly, running your fingers over the dress that was laying across your lap. It was pretty, simple but pretty. It was off white, a lot of lace and a pretty cut. Flattering too. “I don’t wanna die Chey. I love you and he’s..” you trailed off and she squatted in front of you, “I know why this is hard, the decision to do this isn’t something he thought of lightly. He can’t lose you anymore than I can. Let him save your life. Please? For your big sister?”
You laughed weakly, wiping your eyes. “Fine, but only for you” she grabbed her chest. “Oh I’m honored. Now, let's get you all prettied up. Your husband is waiting.” you felt your stomach quiver at the mere thought of Anders being your husband. You’d never admit how long you had feelings for him, how deep they went but you knew he cared about you, he was your best friend and if he was willing to do all of this for you? It just proved how good of a man he really was.
Anders had worked to move enough of your stuff from your sister’s place to his to make things believable if anyone looked close enough while you and her shopped for a wedding dress. He unpacked your clothes, hanging up what needed to be hung in the closet, folding your clothes into dresser drawers. The only thing he didn’t touch was the box labeled “intimates” . He sat that on top of the low dresser so you could put it away later but still not have to bend too much to get to it.
Standing in his kitchen, dressed in the dark blue button up he knew you loved, he had to admire the fact that the universe had one hell of a sense of humor. Here he was, staring at your coffee mug sitting next to the pot right next to his. He was about to go to the courthouse to meet you and Cheyenne. He was about to marry you, bring you home as his wife and it was all a lie just to save your life.
He shook his head and checked the time. He had to get going. Your appointment with the officiant was in half an hour. He didn’t want to be late.
____________
Leave it up to you to take a farce of a wedding and still make him do things the old fashioned way. You made him wait until the last moment to see you. He’d gone and bought wedding bands, just simple silver ones to go along with the ring he already had you. He was fidgeting with all three rings when the door to the officiant office opened. He stood up, a joke on the tip of his tongue that was quickly cut off. Your hair was carefully styled, light makeup. The dress was beautiful on you and you were smiling. You looked more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen. For just a heartbeat he let himself pretend this was real. You were marrying him because you wanted to. Then reality set in when you took a staggered breath, your smile faltering just a bit before you recovered it.
You hated this. You were winded from the walk up the courthouse stairs. You and Cheyenne used to go on hikes, Anders always joined you. Now you couldn’t even do something so simple. Hell you were robbing your best friend’s first marriage and yet here he was, smiling at you like you were something amazing. Cheyenne nodded to him “All yours Paul” he held out his hand and you took it. He looked at Cheyenne then the officiant “Can we have just a minute?” they both nodded so he tilted his head to the side of the room. You followed him and he turned to face you, a small smile on his face. He reached into his pocket and held out a ring “You need this before the ceremony where we get the other rings”
You raised one eyebrow then actually looked down at his hand, shaking your head “Paul, that's Mrs. Janie’s ring” his grandmother’s heirloom ring. The one that was supposed to stay in his family. The one given to him to give to the love of his life, the most important woman to him.
He shrugged, “We gotta make it believable and it’s supposed to be given to the most important person in my life. Even if this isn’t real real, you’re still that” you blinked fast a few times trying to keep tears away “Damn you, I’m not supposed to be crying” he grinned and gently took your hand, slipping the ring in place. He lifted it to his lips and lightly kissed the small diamond. “You’re my best friend. There’s nothing on earth I wouldn’t do for you. Now let’s go get married”
___________
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride” the officiant said and you knew Anders would never kiss you first but you also knew it wouldn’t look real without a kiss and maybe you just wanted to kiss him? You leaned up on your tip toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Cheyenne wolf whistled, he turned a light pink and the officant clapped, “Congratulation Mr and Mrs Anders”
Anders stepped out the shower, half expecting you to still be asleep when he walked out into the bedroom. He’d gotten dressed in the bathroom just in case. After you started staying with him, he’d gotten a bigger bed. You refused to let him sleep on the couch and he didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into you and hurting you throughout the night but he wanted to be close if you needed anything.
You’d asked about after, what he’d done then. He’d told you he’d been planning to get a bigger bed. He hadn’t. He didn’t want to tell you that the mornings he woke up and you were curled up to his chest, fast asleep, were the best mornings of his life.
When he stepped into the bedroom however you weren’t still in bed. He called your name and heard a soft response back “Kitchen!”
He stepped into the hallway and the smell of blueberry muffins hit his nose. You were baking. Why were you baking? You were going to be wiped out. He wanted to lie to himself, to say he wasn’t seeing you get worse daily but the truth was he could. He could hear your breathing be ragged at night time, could put his thumb on your pulse and feel it jump in your sleep where your heart was struggling to keep up with the hole.
Your surgery was two weeks out. On one hand it couldn’t come fast enough because you desperately needed it. On the other hand, it was fourteen hours that anything could go wrong.
When he made it into the kitchen, you were sitting at the table with a mug of tea in front of you, the dishwasher was running and you looked up with a tired smile. “Morning”
He looked around, the muffins were on top of the stove cooling and there was a pot of coffee making. “Was I in the shower that long?” you shook your head with a laugh, “I got Chey to help me make the muffins last night while you were at work. Wanted to surprise you this morning since you’ll be off for a while to help me with recovery figured I’d at least make you a decent breakfast”
“You didn’t have to do that but thank you” you nodded, waving a hand towards the muffins “They’re good. Lemon blueberry crumble. Your favorite” he grinned, shaking his head “Don’t know what I’m gonna do when you leave me once you recover” your face fell just slightly and he was worried he said something wrong until you shrugged “At least you still have a while to worry about that huh?”
He grabbed a muffin and some coffee and sat down across from you. The two of you started talking about your upcoming appointment for last minute blood work. Cheyenne was donating a few pints just in case, a few fellas at the sheriff’s department had donated in your name too. The hospital should have enough o positive on hand but no one hadn’t wanted to take a chance.
You leaned on your hand, staring at him long enough he thought he’d spilled coffee or crumbs down his uniform until you shook your head “I don’t know how you weren’t already married Paul. You're handsome, caring, brave. You’re fucking perfect” he could feel a blush run up his neck. “Well good thing I wasn’t huh” was all he could think of. He couldn’t possibly say he’d never wanted to get married after the time you swore you’d never get married because all he’d ever wanted was you. He checked the time and cursed “I gotta get going. Call me if you need anything” “Ok, be safe”
You knew the risks of the surgery, you’d gone over them so many times you could recite them in your sleep. Hell Paul and Cheyenne could recite them in their sleep. You were ready. It was this or die with no attempt at saving your life. However, the morning of the surgery, getting to the hospital while it was still dark outside, wearing a hoodie that smelled so much like Paul and so little like anything else, you couldn’t stop thinking about the fourteen hours that were ahead of you.
What if you didn’t wake up? What if you never told him? What if he never knew?
_______________
“You can turn around” you had taken a little longer than normal to get changed but Cheyenne kept looking from you to Paul. She was trying to get you to tell him. Just in case. He turned around as she was pulling the sheet back up over your now hospital gown clad body and arranging your iv lines. “Ok, I’m going to go hunt coffee since they’re gonna kick me out soon anyways. Only your hubby gets to stay till last minute. I’ll see you later, ok?” she pressed a kiss to your forehead and walked out the room.
You followed her eyes out then looked over at Paul. He was already staring at you. “Anders?” your voice was soft, low. The corner of his lips twitched up “Yes ma’am, Mrs. Anders?” you laughed weakly, holding your hand out so he stood up, walking over to the side of the bed and slipped his hand into yours. You couldn’t wear your rings back so he’d slipped yours onto his chain that he wore around his neck. Your thumb absentmindedly ran across his ring. They would be coming to take you back soon, you both knew it. Time was dwindling down.
“You’ll be ok” he murmured, leaning over to press a kiss on your temple. You closed your eyes, barely holding back tears. When his lips pulled away from your temple, you opened your eyes and reached your hand up, cupping his chin. He grinned slightly but when you pulled him down to your lips he seemed shocked for half a second.
You cursed the iv lines for hindering your movements but Anders seemed to know what you want, leaning a little closer. When your tongue flicked out across his bottom lip he willingly gave you access, tangling his tongue with your own, a breathless whine falling from your mouth into his, mixing beautifully with the groan he gave.
When you finally had to break the kiss because your breath was getting short you stared up at him, wide eyed, chest heaving. “I couldn’t die without properly kissing you once because the truth is I actually do love you Paul. Not just as my best friend” you could see the shock spread across his face but before he could say anything the door opened and the nurses were there to take you back. You squeezed his hand, “I’ll see you soon?” he nodded dumbly “I’ll see you soon honey”
The longest fourteen hours of his life, now here he sat next to your bed, watching your chest rise and fall. The bandages covering your chest a stark reminder of what you’d just endured and your words echoing through his head “I actually do love you” god, you loved him. You actually loved him. You married him. You were his wife and you loved him like he loved you and now he had no clue what to do in return but he hoped when you woke up you didn’t change your mind.
You slowly started to stir, everything aching, the lights were too bright, your entire body felt stiff and sore. “Anders?” you called weakly, your eyes struggling to open fully but the moment you managed there he was, right next to you. “Hey baby, it’s ok. I already called the nurse. Stay calm. You’re ok”
You looked so weak still but you were awake. He gently cupped your cheek, trying to keep tears at bay and his voice even “You did so good”
“Paul, I..” the nurse came in with the doctor and you closed your mouth. He stepped back so the doctor could examine you then was right back, his hand sliding into yours while the doctor gave you both a summary of the surgery. “It couldn’t have gone better. She’ll be out of commission for four to six weeks but after that? She’ll be better than she was before”
You both thanked the doctor and watched him leave. The moment the door closed you opened your mouth to apologize to Anders, for the kiss and for springing the fact that you loved him on him like you did but the moment you turned towards him he was pulling you into the most gentle but deepest kiss you’d ever experienced in your life. You gasped into it and he pulled back enough to murmur against your lips “I feel the same, I love you so damn much”
You laughed weakly, tears slipping down your cheeks “Can we please not get divorced?” he grinned, tears falling from his own eyes “Are you kidding me? You’re stuck with me as long as you’ll have me for. I’d never take that ring back I gave you” he pressed another kiss to your lips “I love you”
You sighed in relief just hearing him say it, “I love you too, have loved you for so long” he broke the kiss and gently leaned his forehead against yours, “Don’t know how I would’ve lived if I had lost you” “You don’t have to worry about it. You saved my life, husband” you teased with a smile and he grinned “I’d do anything for you, wife”
“Come on love” you whined playfully. You loved him, god himself knew Paul Anders owned your heart inside and out but christ if he kept it up with these thick and hearty meals you were going to end up weighing too much. You’d already gained back nearly all the weight you’d lost from the months of being sick and then some.
He grinned, tugging you into his lap, “What beautiful? Don’t like my cooking all of a sudden?” you rolled your eyes, slipping your arms around his neck “I weigh too much now!” he froze, one eyebrow shooting up “Be for real. You almost died. I’m going to feed you, celebrate you being alive” he tugged you down into a kiss and added against your lips “And you being my actual wife”
You giggled when he moved from your lips to down your neck, “Besides, I’m your husband and I think you’re perfect”
Anders loved nothing more than that, you cuddled up to him, kissing him. You’d always cuddled to him platonically but now? He got to hold you, keep you safe as his proper wife. Not just in name.
You looked up at him with a smile “I’ll eat if you eat with me” he grinned “If you’ll stay here in my lap” you nodded, “Gladly”
You were going insane. He’d help you in and out of the shower. He would change your bandages. Feeling his hands on your body was part heaven and part torture. You knew he’d never initiate anything while he thought there was a chance of it hurting you. Now you and him were sitting in the exam room of your doctor’s office, waiting for your checkup and you were a bit more excited than maybe you should have been.
Would he initiate? Would he turn you down if you did? You were nervous despite his hand in yours, his thumb tracing your ring. “I love you” he murmured, you turned towards him, laying your head on his shoulder “I love you too handsome” and gripped his chin to tilt his head towards you and pressed a kiss to his lips, barely letting your tongue graze his bottom lip and he groaned lightly. “Behave beautiful” you pouted, nipping at his lip “Make me. I’m alive and yours” he shook his head and about that time the doctor and nurses came in.
You didn’t understand. All the times you’d felt him get hard when you were in his lap and the two of you were kissing. The little groans and grunts. You knew he wanted you. You were laying in bed next to him and finally muttered “Fuck it” to yourself.
“What baby?” he asked so you rolled over and straddled him. He grinned up at you, hands covering your thighs. “We didn’t get a wedding night” his hands moved up to your waist, eyes wide as you continued “Or a honeymoon” he chuckled but that chuckle broke off into a grunt when you shifted to plant your heat right over his crotch, grinding down softly “And I want you to be my husband in every way. Can we consummate our marriage?”
“I promised to give you everything you want, didn’t I?” he asked softly, eyes dark. You nodded, bracing your hands on his chest “I’m still here. I fought, I stayed. I’m yours” “On one condition” he finally agreed and you nodded, “Anything”
He slowly sat up, pulling you against his chest. “Lay back and let me take care of you, let me savour this, let me convince my mind I’m not gonna hurt you, let me convince my heart you’re still here”
How the hell could you say anything but a resounding yes to that?
______________
You were quivering under Anders’. Every flick of his tongue, every touch of his finger. He’d wrang so many orgasms from your body you were absolutely spent. He finally leaned up on one arm, lining himself up with your opening.
Anders sank in as slowly as he could. You were so damn tight, pulsing heat wrapped around him and felt like heaven itself. You were both holding your breath in that moment, years of want finally boiling over into a moment of pure love, pure desire, pure celebration over the fact that you were still here and very much his.
The only thing that kept running through his mind was the fact that he almost lost you. The most important thing to him. Your moans and gasps of his names were the prettiest damn sounds he had ever heard. “Where’s your pretty head at baby?” you whimpered, nipping at his neck. He snapped back to reality, grinning down at you weakly, the fact that you could still read him like a book, “So glad that you’re still here, that you’re in my arms” he snapped his hips forward your hips fell forward, a whimper of his name falling from your lips and he added, “And just how damn pretty you sound”
It wasn’t long before you both were falling apart, clinging to each other. Anders could feel you shiver when you came, your body shudder when he filled you, teeth grazing your neck.
____________
Anders finally rolled over, tugging you over onto his chest, refusing to pull out of you. He kissed all over your face, your neck. “I love you so damn much and to think you once swore you’d never get married” you nodded, pushing yourself up to stare at his face, “Yeah,because I always wanted you”
He froze, a broad grin slipping onto his face “Really?” you nodded “Just didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you didn't feel the same. I’ve loved you from the start” “Oh honey, I wish I’d known from the start” he murmured, pulling you into a kiss. You shrugged, lips finding his “We have each other now”
You were standing at the counter, waiting for coffee to make when you felt Anders’ arms slip around your waist, his lips brushing your neck. “Will you marry me?” his words were so soft. You turned to look up at him “I’m already married to you” he nodded, pressing a kiss to your lips “Yeah, but for real. I want us to have a real marriage. Not a I’m about to lose you marriage. Not a fake marriage, a you’re the love of my life and everyone needs to know. Not just Chey. let’s do this right” you blinked back happy tears “I’d marry you ten thousand times over”
after losing Caleb, getting caught in a spring blizzard and nearly dying you thought you and True would be ok, until he starts pulling away even after he gets out the hospital
self hating thoughts, mention of amputation, unprotected sex, a smidge of angst
“True, where are you going?” you’d spotted him when he walked out of the house and the duffle over his shoulder made your stomach hit your feet. You knew losing Caleb was going to hit him harm, he was going to blame himself. You didn’t think he was going to do this. “For a drive” he muttered, not meeting your eyes as he opened the backdoor of his truck and tossed the duffle inside.
“With Dude?” you waved a hand at the trailer that was already hooked up and when he heard you say his name, Dude huffed in response. “Yeah” True nodded, slamming the door and turning back to you but his gaze was still down on his boots. “I’ll go with you then” you offered it knowing it was a long shot but you were going to make him say it. He wasn’t walking away from you without saying the words.
He shook his head “No.. no” he finally raised his eyes, “You’re amazing…beautiful..smart.. and I’m a liar” you blinked back tears threatening to fall. Funny, you could’ve sworn you had cried yourself empty staring at Caleb’s urn but guess you were wrong. “So this is it?” you asked softly and he nodded “M’sorry” and climbed in his truck. You stepped to the side, watching as he climbed in, turned over the engine and pulled away. You let the tears start falling, even when you heard George call your name from the porch you remained rooted to the spot, watching long after that black truck was out of sight.
Your apartment felt empty. The bookshelf set in the corner filled with Caleb’s books. His mother had brought them to you because you and him had always gone to the store together to buy them and she had no idea what to do with them now. You’d never be able to bring yourself to get rid of them because they were what you had left of the man who was like a younger brother to you.
Photos of you, him and True sat atop the bookshelf along with some of True’s artwork he’d given you over the years. Your little corner of the Brandywine men you’d loved. One who was gone forever out of this world and one who had walked out of your life and you had no idea where he was now but there wasn’t a day that had gone by that you didn’t think about him, hoped he was safe and at least halfway taking care of himself.
You worked, you came home and that was your life. Every now and then a couple friends would manage to drag you out or you’d wander out to the Brandywines’ place. You still hated George for pushing Caleb into the marines, for always treating him and True like they weren’t enough but that wasn’t Chewy’s fault. Caleb’s horse. He didn’t know why Caleb hadn’t come home.
You still managed to make your way out there every few weeks to see that horse, take care of him as best as you could, and bring him treats like Caleb used to. Something to feel a connection to your friend and to True, wherever he may be.
You were in the barn, brushing Chewy. You had the radio on low, a station you liked but would keep George out if he started this way. Kathy didn’t mind it because she said it made her feel like Caleb was still around. You were humming to yourself, trying to get in a better mood while Chewy butted at your shoulder. “Yeah I miss em too”
Today would’ve been yours and True’s anniversary. It still was to you, you were still his. You would always be his. You closed your eyes, laying your forehead over on the horse’s neck for a moment before you heard George walk into the barn and cursed under your breath “What?” he never tried to talk to you like he always did True and Caleb, he knew it wouldn’t work. You didn’t respect him like they had.
When you looked up however he looked panicked “Put him up and get in the truck now” “What? No” he walked over to you, turning the radio off and shaking his head “God dammit sweetheart, hate me later. A hospital three states over called. They got True, he’s in bad shape, was caught in a spring blizzard. Go get your ass in my truck!”
You never moved so fast to follow orders from George Brandywine.
Seventeen hours. You had been curled up in a chair in the waiting room for seventeen hours. George paced, Kathy slept off and on. You stared at the double doors waiting for an update. Concussion, frostbite, exposure, dehydration, pneumonia and that was just what you could pick from the swirling list in your head. They hadn’t let you back to see him.
George had gone. Kathy hadn’t gone back, said she’d go when he woke up. You’d begged the doctors to let you go back. George shook his head and when your tears turned to anger he didn’t try to stop you. He just stood there, “You love that boy more than anything. You don’t need to see him like that. He wouldn’t want you seeing him like that and I spent too many years of my sons’ lives going against what they wanted. I gotta protect you now”
You hadn’t said a word since. You drank the tea Kathy gave you, couldn’t attempt to eat. You needed True to wake up. He’d been conscious when he was found but apparently his body had finally given in to everything it had gone through. You were terrified of losing him.
Everything hurt. His head, his entire body. The first thing he noticed was the lack of weight in his foot. True scrambled trying to set up but nurses were there and faster “Mr Brandywine! Slow down”
He realized where he was, everything flooding back. The man who stopped on the side of the road. He called help. He was at a hospital, Dude was at the vet clinic. “What..” his voice was so rough. The nurse smiled softly and stepped away to grab a cup with a straw. She held it up to his mouth and helped him to drink a few sips then pulled it away.
“Thank you..” he muttered and she nodded. “You’re alive. Your horse is ok too. You had some pretty severe injuries” he glanced down and there was no lump under the sheet where his left foot should be. “My foot”
The nurses’ face fell, sympathy clear in her expression “Was severely frostbitten. I’m afraid to keep from poisoning your entire system the doctor had to amputate. We will get you fitted for a prosthetic and get you into physical therapy but there is no reason a young man your age and otherwise healthy shouldn’t be able to make a full recovery! Your family has been here since they got the call”
“Family?” he asked and she nodded, lifting up his chart, “George Brandywine, Kathy Brandywine and..” before she ever said your name he knew. She read your name off. “She hasn’t even slept. Every time I’ve walked through the family area she’s just been staring at the doors. I’m assuming that’s your spouse?” he opened his mouth to say you were, that he fucked it all up, that he broke your heart and yet here you were waiting on him but instead he just nodded. “Can I get a pillow for under the sheet so they don’t see that shit yet when they do come in?” she nodded, “Yes sir”
You nearly fell when the doctor came out to tell all of you True was awake. “Can we see him?” Kathy asked and he nodded “For just a few minutes”
Her and George looked at you and you hesitated, “He left me. I don’t know if he even wants me here” George shook his head “You wanna see him?” “Yeah” he nodded “Then come on, if he gets mad it’ll be at me”
You walked behind them, your arms crossed over your chest. When the door opened Kathy started crying and you heard True’s voice “I’m ok”
They stepped in and you barely stepped in behind them, closing the door then turned around and George moved so you and True could see each other. “Hey” you whispered and he nodded “Hey” you hadn’t even realized you were on the verge of tears until you started sobbing. He looked so pale, he’d lost weight since he’d been gone. His head was banged up and you couldn’t tell on the rest of him.
“C’mere” he held out the hand that didn’t have the iv in it and you made your way over to him. He wrapped his arms around you, tucking you against his chest “I’m sorry for leaving like that” he murmured it into your hair. You shook your head “You’re alive, all I care about”
You heard George tell Kathy to give the two of you a minute and the door opened then closed. Once they were gone you leaned up, looking at True and gently pushed his hair back out of his face. “I love you. Fuck I love you” he smiled weakly “I love you too honey but” your heart fell before he added “I’m gonna be in and out of doctors for a while. That ain't no life. You got a job and all back home”
“So? I’ve waited this long for you” he nodded slowly, “Just don’t wanna fuck up your life anymore than I already have” you shook your head “I am in love with you True Brandywine! That doesn’t go away” his eyes drifted down his body like there was something else he wanted to say then he shook his head and smiled “C’mere” and tugged you into a kiss.
When he pulled back he nuzzled his nose against yours “I’ll always love you. Even at my lowest you were all I could think about. There’s drawings in my jacket over there to prove it” you laughed wetly “You’re such a damn romantic at heart I swear” he grinned and pressed another kiss to your lips. “This is a long road ahead of us” you shrugged “I don’t mind”
True had to stay in St. Helen’s for right at three months. That was close to hell. You hated being that far away from him but at least now you talked daily, he even learned to facetime thanks to some kids that were apparently in the same physical therapy program as him.The frostbite had caused an amputation of something, you were guessing a portion of his foot. He hadn’t gone into details with you and the doctors legally couldn’t since you weren’t married.
It was hard but you got to see his face, talk to him, tell him you loved him and hear him tell you he loved you. You were certain that meant things would get better, that by the time he got home things would be good. For a heartbeat you even assumed he’d move back into your place you once shared, until he’d told you on the last facetime call he was moving into the bunkhouse instead. It was a one bedroom, one bath, right off the barn and he’d rather stay in it than in your place with you.
Maybe he just needed more time to heal. His mom didn’t work so she could drive him to his appointments easier until he got a new car. Maybe that was it?
He promised to still come over, still start back spending time with you so it would be fine, right?
You were over at the bunkhouse, True was showing you some sketches he’d done of you, Caleb and Chewy. He’d even enrolled in that art school you and he had always talked about.
“We should celebrate” you laughed, tugging him in for a kiss. He grinned, both hands slipping around your waist as he deepened the kiss, tongue bullying its way past your lips. One of his hands left your waist to come up to rest at the base of your neck, tilting your head where he wanted you. You whined lightly, this was the most contact you’d had with him in so long it was driving you crazy.
He groaned, his hand trailing up just enough it hooked around your neck. You stepped closer, certain he was going to move things forward but like a switch flipping he shook his head and stepped back, chest heaving. “Fuck baby, it’s getting late. You gotta get going so you aint driving in the dark” “I could stay?” you offered and he shook his head “This place ain't hardly fit for one, let alone two”
You sighed, hands clinging to his shirt “Then come home True! Our place is waiting” he nodded, pressing a kiss to your temple “I will baby, in time” you blinked back tears, nodding slowly “Ok” “Don’t cry honey please”
You stepped back, wiping angrily at your eyes “The love of my life who nearly died just told me he doesn’t want to move back in with me. Yeah no reason to cry. I’ll see you tomorrow, True. I love you” he took a step towards you and you shook your head “It’s fine and don’t follow me out. It’s getting dark and I don’t want you to step on something with your foot. I’ll call when I get home”
“I love you” he murmured and you nodded “I know”
“You’re in art school, you have income, you’re through physical therapy. What’s the real reason,True? Do you just not love me anymore?” you were sitting on one end of the couch and he was standing at the door about to leave. You thought you could take it, thought you could keep being understanding but you hadn’t so much as gotten to sleep in the same bed as him since he’d been released from the hospital.
“What?” he paused, his entire face scrunching up the way it did when he was honestly confused about something. You stood up, holding your hands out to the side. “When was the last time we shared a bed? The last time I just got to go to sleep next to you?” he fell silent and you laughed bitterly “I’ll tell you, the day before Caleb’s funeral”
“So what, you’re wanting sex?” you shook your head, staring at him like you didn't even know him. “True, you know me better than that. I miss you. I miss us. You barely hold me when we are around each other. You barely want to go out because of your limp and I get that but dammit this here? This apartment, this is just us”
He scrubbed a hand down his face, shaking his head “You don’t get it” “Then tell me, please” you were begging but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care.
“What if I can’t..” he trailed off and you crossed the floor to stand in front of him, reaching for his hands and when he let you take them you felt your heart speed up just a bit “What if you can’t what?”
He slowly raised his eyes and shame was written across his face “What if I can’t love you the same because I’m less of a man? What if you can’t love me anymore because I can’t do the things I used to?” you felt like you’d been dipped in ice water at his words. That’s what the problem was? He thought you wouldn’t love him anymore because of his amputation?
“True” you whispered his name and he dropped his gaze “Took me long enough to figure out how to walk right, how to shower… I don’t know how to love on you right anymore. How to please you when I don’t know how to move around on the god damn bed without my foot”
Your heart was crumbling in your chest when tears started to brim his ocean blue eyes. “Honey, I could never stop loving you because of something like this. You can’t help what happened. You can still please me, we can still be together. We can figure it out, you just have to trust me, trust us”
His eyes searched your face, his throat bobbing with how hard he was swallowing. “There hasn’t been a second since I got home that I haven’t wanted to be here with you” “Then stay, be with me, make love to me True” your lips were almost touching when he whispered “How?” you smiled, fingers trailing up his chest “You still trust me don’t you?” “With everything” he murmured so you took his hand “Then follow me to our bedroom cowboy. I’ll figure it out”
____________
True lay just under the sheet, he’d taken his foot off with your head turned because he’d asked if he could do it like that. You weren’t making him uncomfortable, not this first time. This was about relearning each other, about figuring things out.
Once you’d stripped down to just your bra and panties while he laid there, his arm propped behind his head like he was enjoying the show you grinned at him, “Can I join you?” he nodded, eyes dropping to where he was already hard under the sheet. He gripped himself, a low groan falling from his lips “You don’t know what it does to me just seeing you”
You stripped the bra and panties off and climbed onto the bed. True moved the sheet just enough you could slip under it with him, straddling his waist. You leaned down to catch his lips in a kiss that started gentle, talking into it “Oh I can feel” you rolled your hips down, not able to bite back a moan at the feeling of his hard cock catching on your clit.
His head fell back so you pressed kisses along his neck, “Tell me when you’re ready” he lifted his head, tilting it to the side “What about you?” you always struggled to take all of him and after this long it was going to be a fight to fit him but you could do it. “I’m ok” he raised an eyebrow “Get your ass up here” “Where?”
His tongue slipped out, rolling across his bottom lip and you knew what he meant. “True!” he grinned “I ain’t lost nothing up here” you slid up his body, hesitantly straddling his shoulders until he gripped your thighs, “Please” his voice was low, near pained like he needed this more than you, needed to know he could please you.
When you lowered yourself down, the first broad swipe of his tongue had your head falling back in pleasure, your hands gripping the headboard. He murmured into your skin “Attagirl” he pulled you down, diving in completely, his nose hitting your clit while he devoured you.
It wasn’t long and you were falling apart, legs shaking around his head, nails digging into the wood of the headboard, whimpering his name as he worked you through one orgasm and towards a second. You tried to move but he shook his head, doubling his efforts and when the second orgasm hit, you practically screamed his name, your release soaking his chin.
He finally loosened his grip and you weakly slid back down, nearly falling onto his chest. He looked so damn proud of himself when your hands shook as you brushed his hair back from his face. “Still think you can’t please me?” you asked, lips finding his and you couldn’t help but moan when you tasted yourself on his tongue.
You adjusted your hips while you kissed him, lining him up and slowly sank down on his length until you were hip to hip, a shudder running through you both at the feeling. You leaned your forehead over on his, staring into his eyes. “I love you, so damn much” he nodded “I love you too”
You started to move, a slow deep grind of your hips, crossing an ankle over his lower leg so he wouldn’t agitate his injury when you felt his hips coming up to meet your movements. You knew it wouldn’t be long and you’d be cumming again. He groaned your name, hands gripping the soft plush of your hips. You were both moving together, meeting each other's thrusts, moaning out the other’s names. It had been far too long since you’d been together like this.
You started to fall apart first, the fluttering of your walls dragging him over the edge with you. He tugged you down flush against his chest, both of you rocking against each other to ride out the aftershocks as he filled you with his release, some of it dripping back out and down your thighs but you couldn’t care.
____________
You stayed like that for a while, curled up to his chest, just happy to be in his arms. “Honey, I am so sorry for pushing you away” he whispered, fingers tracing some intricate design on your back. You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his lips “It’s ok True. you went through hell. What matters is now”
True finally let himself fully relax after hearing you forgive him. He needed it, needed you back in his arms more than he ever even knew. “You kept me going” he murmured into your hair and he heard you sniffle, “I love you True, nothing could ever change that”
He sighed softly, kissed your head again, “I love you too, more than I could ever say” you did start to cry softly at that, he knew why. This was a lot he lifted your head softly and you smiled gently despite the tears “No more hiding?” he kissed a tear away “Never hiding from you again”
_____________
The two of you fell asleep like that, True still buried inside you and you curled up on his chest. When you woke up in the morning it was the most relaxed either of you had been in a while. He nudged your nose with his “Wanna use that big ol bathtub that made you want this place?”
You grinned broadly “I’d love to” you slipped out of bed first after True gently pulled out of you. You half expected him to slip his foot on but no, he used the wall to brace himself to stand up. You gave him a small smile and he nodded.
_____________
You were sitting against True’s chest in the water, laying back against him. “Can I do anything to help soothe it?” you asked softly and he hesitated before chuckling “Honey I can barely stand to look at it” “I could wash it?” you offered and he stared at you wide eyed, “You’d do that?”
“You would if it was me” he nodded after a moment and you smiled, “Ok then”
True watched you while you washed the nub from his amputation. There was no disgust or apprehension. There was concentration and love. You just wanted to take care of him and he hadn’t trusted in your love.
You cut your eyes up at True and his head was leaned back, lips in a light smile and your heart flipped. Guess that felt good. You were through so you crawled up his body and pressed a kiss to his lips “Better now?” “Never been better” he promised, arms circling your waist.
____________
When the water started to get too cold, you coaxed True out with the promise of a breakfast and a lazy day cuddling on the couch. You helped him balance without commenting on it and bent to help him dry his leg with the softest towel you could find. You scrunched up your nose “We’re buying softer towels. This one is rough at best”
“Shut up, I like that towel” he laughed and you rolled your eyes “Make me” he tugged you up into a kiss. You watched while he put the prosthetic on so you’d know how to take it off and put it on just in case.
He cut his eyes up once it was secured like he was self conscious so you shrugged “I just wanna know how it works so if you ever need my help” he flushed a bit and dragged you into his arms “I was an idiot for thinking you wouldn’t still love me”
You nodded, leaning up to kiss him “You’ve always been an idiot but I love you so it’s ok” “As long as you love me, I don’t care about the rest” he laughed, leaning down to kiss you back.
Yelena gets tired of seeing you and John tip toe around each other. She enlists Joaquin and Bob for help
Guest appearances by fantastic four, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, Weird combinations happening (you'll see) bodyshots being taken, sexual tension, morning after, relationship blooming
How? That was the only question you had. How did a group of semi- intelligent, supposed adults end up with the brilliant idea to move all the furniture out of the way in the common room and turn it into something that looked closer to a frat house to play drinking games?
Joaquin swore it was well deserved after everything you all had gone through, Sam deemed it a “bonding experience” from a counselor point of view, Yelena said everyone just needed to catch their breath. You’d just helped Yelena make sure everyone had safe places to crash within the tower for after the fact.
“This is stupid” you muttered, flopping down on the couch next to Bob who was just sipping on a beer because he’d decided he wasn’t drinking anything too much given his past addictions and he wanted to be witness to the mayhem anyways.
“Won’t be too bad, c’mon we get to watch Jessica wipe the floor with everyone on beer pong” he shrugged. You laughed, looking across the room where she was now kicking Kate’s ass at the game. “That is true”
Johnny was trying to bait Yelena into a game of “never have I ever” until he realized she had eyes for one person in the group and it damn sure wasn’t in his group. Sue and Reed left early with the baby, Ben was pretty fun however.
You had no idea who had gotten their hands on asguardian liquor but John, Bucky and Alexei seemed to be enjoying sipping on it. Each super soldier had a glass and from the looks of it was enjoying the buzz.
You weren’t sure when or why the idea of bodyshots came up. Maybe it was the fact that most people here hadn’t exactly had a partying phase. You shook your head when Ava cut her eyes at you, Johnny had hopped up on the counter, gladly offering himself to any woman that “wanted a lick”
After that it started to slowly deteriorate into chaos. Bucky took one off Sam’s chest, Sam in turn took one off Bucky. Yelena convinced Bob into letting her take one off his abs and he hesitantly licked a shot worth of vodka from her collarbone, Luke had no qualms about doing multiple shots off Jessica and she had no qualms about doing shots off him and god help you all Ben and Alexei did shots off each other.
Kate and Joaquin even got in on the fun until it was glaringly obvious only two people hadn’t indulged. You and John. “Walker!” Sam laughed and he shook his head “Nope, partied enough in high school man”
“He just knows nobody would be up for it” Yelena teased, cutting her eyes at you with a look that said so much more than words could. She knew how you felt about John, she was silently urging you to offer. “What about you?” Bob walked up next to you, bumping your shoulder with his and you’d honestly never felt more betrayed.
Johnny’s grin brightened “You mean the female firebug hasn’t taken a bodyshot?” he’d been flirting since he realized your mutation was pretty damn similar to his power given that you could make and control flames. “Easy flame head, wouldn’t want one off you anyways. No offense” he grabbed his heart, grinning then waved a hand around “Take your pick then gorgeous. I’m sure anyone would be up for well besides the married couple”
Jessica shrugged “If you want a shot off me I’m game” Joaquin who must have been in cahoots with Yelena spoke up “Naw, her and Walker are both still dry. I say she takes one off him and he takes one off her”
You felt your face warm and glanced over to see John was already looking at you, his eyes dark. He cleared his throat and shook his head “Her choice” you raised an eyebrow “So you’d do it?” he cut his eyes at Johnny and you saw his jaw clench, wait. Was he jealous? No, no way.
“Sure” he muttered, holding his drink out to Sam who took it happily. He slipped his shirt over his head then waved a hand at Yelena “Guess you’re pouring?” she nodded “Oh you bet I am”
John couldn’t believe he was doing this, he was letting you take a body shot off him but there was no way in hell he was letting Johnny Storm near you. That asshole hadn’t taken his eyes off you. He barely got to see you as is with you being a part of Sam’s team, living in D.C. he wasn’t being witness to that, he may very well kill Storm.
He leaned back on the counter, angling his body just enough that Yelena could pour the tequila down his chest. It was cold, trickling down his skin. She held out a wedge of lime to his mouth and he glared at her as he gripped it between his teeth. She sprinkled salt right on his collarbone then waved at you like she was offering the prize in a game show.
You stepped up, eyes wide and smiled up at him. He could feel your fingers trembling just a bit when they touched his bare skin, your tongue flicked out and the moment it touched his collarbone he was grateful for the lime. You traced the area with the salt, trailing your tongue along the veins and scars there. You leaned down, hands hovering over his hips but not quite touching and kept your eyes on his as you started to lick the tequila off him. Long laps of your tongue starting at his navel, trailing up his chest and circling just before his left nipple. He was having to think about anything else on earth to not get hard.
You leaned up on your tip toes, mouth dangerously close to his as you took the lime wedge from between his lips, sucking it slowly. The entire room had fallen dead silent then burst into cheering as you stepped back.
Jessica groaned dramatically, wiping her forehead “I think I’m pregnant again after that and she’s the father Luke”
Everyone burst out laughing. Yelena stepped up behind you, her arm slipping around your waist “Ok my favorite little flame, time to get on the counter”
You knew your eyes were wide, probably comically so. You were so damn turned on after that, you were worried every super soldier or enhanced person in the room could tell. “My um.. My scars” you mumbled, trying to play off your nerves on the few scars you had on your stomach.
Ben cleared his throat and waved at his chest “Rock sweetheart” Yelena and Ava looked around the room “Anyone have anything negative to say?” everyone shook their heads but your eyes were on John, “You don’t have to do anything you don't want to” he mumbled but you could tell it was something else. He thought you just didn’t want him taking the body shot off you.
You shook your head “You’re not backing out on me now Walker” he grinned, eyes twinkling a little “Ok”
You slipped your shirt over your head, grateful you’d worn a yoga sports bra because it was a long line bra and covered damn near as much as a camisole. Bucky patted the counter “Lay out”
You climbed up, laying your head on the shirt Bucky had slipped onto the counter. Yelena giggled as she climbed up with you, the tequila in her hand. She pushed your bra up, sprinkling salt directly under your bust. She tilted the bottle, running it across your stomach and down damn near to your jeans, you could feel it puddle in the soft plush of your stomach. You lifted your head just enough to give her a look and she shrugged “Walker can’t get drunk off this anyways, might as well give him extra” then she slipped the wedge of lime into your mouth.
You felt like a damn buffet laid out. Yelena climbed off the counter with Bob’s help and John stepped up, still shirtless. He turned his body so you were blocked from view, when he leaned down his breath was warm against your skin “Fuck you’re beautiful” you couldn’t respond with the lime then his tongue was flicking out, warm and wet and so damn wide. He ran it along the entire underside of your breasts, just barely grazing the skin and not missing a single grain of salt. You were having to concentrate on your back not arching into him.
He moved down, following the trail Yelena left. You were holding it together, swallowing your noises until he got to one of the puddles Yelena left. His mouth locked around your skin, sucking it into his mouth, his tongue rolled across it, getting every drop of tequila. His teeth barely grazed the skin and a whine managed to make its way past the lime wedge.
He lifted his head, eyes locked on yours. His pupils were blown, breath coming in sharp pants and when he came up to wrap his lips around the lime wedge, they grazed yours for a heartbeat. When he pulled away, you were left breathing deeply and hoping no one realized just how turned on you were. Joaquin clapped and said something about karaoke, Bob was encouraging everyone to join in, they all trickled out as you slid off the counter, plucking your shirt off the floor.
John stood to the side, eyes dropped low. “I’m supposed to stay on Ava’s floor tonight” you murmured, eyes slowly raising to his face. He nodded, “Could always stay with me” his voice was low, like he was scared of rejection. You groaned, grabbing his hand “Thank fuck” and dragged him behind you towards the elevator.
The moment the doors closed behind you, John tugged you into his arms. You’d yet to put your shirt on, he hadn’t either. He hesitated right before his lips met yours, “Are you sure?” you nodded “I’ve wanted you for a while John, please don’t change your mind about me now” he groaned low, “Fuck baby, you don’t know how bad I wanted to hear that answer” and crashed his lips against yours.
____________
Yelena watched the elevator close and whistled to Bob then Joaquin. They both followed her line of sight and pumped their fists in the air. Operation “get the two idiots to realize their feelings” was a success.
John woke up the next morning, your bare body curled up to his. You were laid across him, face tucked into the bend of his neck, marks from his lips littered across your skin.
Flashes of the night before went through his head, Stumbling into his quarters, what little clothes you both had on barely making it until the door closed. You practically climbed into his arms, kissing him like your life depended on it, the low confessions of how long you’d both wanted this, wanted each other.
The way it felt to push into you, the gasp that fell from your lips. The way your body arched into his, the way his name sounded falling from your lips, the way your nails dug into his shoulders. The hours you clung to each other.
Now the morning light had him worried. You’d be leaving soon, back to D.C. would the distance make you change your mind? Would you still want this? Still want him?
You woke up slowly, John’s arms wrapped around you. You smiled, lips finding his neck and he stirred “Morning” you grinned up at him, your eyes finding one of the many marks you’d left on his neck the night before “Morning”
You could feel the tension in his body so you pushed yourself up a little further, pushing his hair back “What’s wrong?” he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips “This.. was it.. Are we.. “ he sighed, leaning his forehead against yours, “I want this to be more than one night” you nodded “So do I?” and felt the tension seep out of his body “Really?” “Really John, this isn’t a one night stand for me. I want this, us. I want us to work. I’ll come visit as often as I can, I’ll tell Sam any time anyone from our team gets loaned out to put me on the top of the list, you can visit me if you want of course”
He pulled you down flush against him, flipping you both so your back was on the mattress, a little yelp of surprise left you and he grinned “You’re really mine?” you nodded “You really mine?” he grinned “hell yeah honey, all yours”
You stood with John as the jet was loaded. Johnny and Ben had already left, Luke and Jessica had long been gone home, everyone else had left, now it was time for all of you to get back to D.C.
He was nervous, you could tell. Your mind went back to the conversation you’d had in his bed, his worries about the two of you only being one night, about you not wanting him once distance was there.
You turned in his arms, tugging him down into a kiss, here in front of everyone. He moved closer, lips moving against yours like you were the very air he breathed, fingers digging into your hips. When you pulled away he was grinning, lips a bit swollen. You whispered “Believe me?” he nodded, “Very much. See you soon?” you nodded, kissing him once more “I’ll call when I land”
Sam stepped to the edge of the jet and whistled “Sorry firebug, time to stop playing tonsil hockey with Walker. We gotta go” you flipped him off and he burst out laughing. Yelena walked by and patted you and John both on the back “You’re welcome by the way”
Your eyes met John’s as you both said “Thanks Belova” she nodded, “Happy to help”
John leaned down, brushing one more kiss on your lips “Be safe” “I promise” you murmured, feeling your heart ache at leaving him so soon. He nudged his nose against yours “I’ll see you soon. Ok?” you nodded “You better, I’ll miss you John” he grinned, “I’ll miss you too baby”
You and Paul have been traveling together a while, you're in a steady group, finally catching your breath and realize you both feel the same about each other.
Outdoor sex, unprotected sex (pullout method), love confession
You were sitting to yourself, sewing up a couple shirts. The goal was to make what you had last longer. That was all you could do, stretch supplies.
You and Paul had been together since a few weeks after he lost Karina. You’d just lost your group, your brother among them. Neither of you had exactly been in the best of shape when you ran across each other but you were glad you took a risk in trusting him. For a while it was sort of just a truce, traveling close enough for the comfort of another human being, then he'd ended up getting hurt protecting you when a group of men realized you were a woman. Since that day the two of you had damn near been inseparable.
This new place seemed ok for now, stable enough. They had families, rules. It was enough to let you catch your breath until time to hit the road again. Paul had gone on a run with some of the guys. You were nervous as hell, trying to find something to do with your hands. If anything happened to him at this point.. you didn’t want to think about it.
“Incoming” Peonie, the sixteen old girl working the watchtower called out or as close to a watch tower as you could get. Considering this was an old school, she was sitting in a shaded area on the roof with binoculars. The lights and water didn’t work of course but the gate was a nice illusion to safety of some sort.
You tucked the shirts into your bag and stood, hand hovering over the gun at your side and the knife tucked into your belt. Realistically you knew you couldn’t kill any of them if Paul didn’t make it back but they better have a damn good story to tell if he wasn’t in that truck.
The moment the blue chevy parked you jogged across the lot and Paul was the second person out, those blue eyes met yours and you breathed a sigh of relief. He was here, he was ok. He winked at you, despite the hell around you, you laughed lightly. He was ok.
Once the supplies was divided Paul made his way to you. He led you away from the crowd “Got you something” you raised an eyebrow, “Huh?” that was when you noticed that the pink traveling up his neck wasn’t just from the sun. he was nervous. He nodded and dug into his satchel, pulling out a small notebook with some pencils, a pack of sunflower seeds you’d mentioned liking in passing and a bar of shampoo.
“Oh my god Paul!” you breathed, eyes wide. This was better than any Christmas. You slung your arms around him and he laughed, hugging you back. “Guess you like it?” you nodded, pulling back. “I love it” you tucked the notebook,pencils and seeds away for later, turning the shampoo bar over in your hand. “Special occasion or just because?” you teased and he shrugged, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck “If my math is right, we've been traveling together about six months. Figured it was a good enough anniversary of sorts present”
Anniversary? You and him? You knew you felt something for him, a kiss had been shared here and there and you always shared a bed roll but you assumed that was for safety. You never expected he felt the same, he never tried to take things further.. Your face must have shown something because he chuckled nervously “Or I can’t read signals even in the apocalypse" “What? No, no. It’s just…” you were rambling. You took a deep breath, leaning up to kiss his cheek “I don’t have you anything but the hole in your jacket sewed” he grinned “Good enough for me”
You tapped the shampoo bar in your hand, “That creek a half mile south has been clear for a while. Wanna go get cleaned up properly while everyone is busy?” his eyes widened, “You wanna take a bath…together?” you shrugged, “Well safety in numbers, the water is crystal clear and we can wash each other’s hair”
“Ok. let’s grab clothes and tell patrol then we’ll head out” you nodded, hooking two fingers in his chain to tug him down to your height, this time pressing a quick kiss to his lips “Sounds good to me”
____________
Paul was hoping he hadn’t made you feel like you owed him anything. He had just counted up days and then saw the things you liked and had just hoped it was a nice gesture. He walked close to you through the woods, both of you on high alert despite the area being monitored pretty well by watch.
The creek was just ahead and as soon as you and him got to it, you laid down your bag and started to kick your shoes off. He could feel his pulse racing. Was this a good idea? Could he protect you should something happen? What if one of the patrol came by…holy hell you were naked.
You eased yourself out into the water, going out just far enough your body was covered. You dipped under to get your hair wet while he watched, mouth agape. When you came back up, he knew he probably had a fucking tent in his pants but he couldn’t help it. The swell of your breasts just peeking out the water, the grin on your face. He was gone. You curled a finger at him “Gonna get in here with me or just watch?”
You treaded water gently, the coolness refreshing to your sore body. It was running water, a nice slow current. You watched Paul slip his boots off then he tugged his shirt over his head. You let out a wolf whistle and he shook his head “You’re horrible” “You must like it” “I love it” he replied and suddenly you were the one blushing.
You tried not to stare when he slipped his pants off but it was hard or rather he was hard, half hard. He was long, thick, absolutely fucking gorgeous. He cupped two hands over his crotch, leaning his face forward until his hair fell forward in it. God he was a dream of a man. Protective, handsome and modest to boot. “Come on goodlooking. I won’t jump your bones unless you ask nicely”
He shook his head and walked into the water, finally moving his hands once he was out far enough his body was covered. He stopped a little ways in front of you and tilted his head to the side, “Fuck you’re beautiful even looking like a drowned sewer rat” your mouth fell open for a second then you burst out laughing “Oh fuck you” and just like that any awkwardness was gone.
Paul held out his hand for the shampoo bar and you turned, feeling Paul gently gather your hair then start lathering it, his fingers working through it and against your scalp in a way that made a moan fall from your lips. “You like that?" his voice was low, held a gruffness to it that made your stomach flip. “Love it” you breathed and he hummed in response.
____________
Once you and Paul were both the cleanest you’d been in longer than you’d care to admit he moved to walk out of the water to put the shampoo bar away in a clean cloth he’d stashed in his satchel just for that purpose. You watched him from the water, refusing to get out. “Come on! Patrol said we had about an hour! We’ve still got time! Please?”
He was standing there with his boxers in his hand about to slip them on then shook his head “One day you and your please are gonna be the death of me” you held out your hand and he splashed his way back over to you, slipping his arms around your waist once he got close enough.
You slipped your arms around his shoulders, tugging him close enough your faces were mere inches apart. His blue eyes searched your face “I really care about you, like I’d burn everything that’s left to get back to you if something happened” you felt your heart flip hard enough in your chest your ribs ached.
“Paul, that’s pretty damn close to a confession of love” you whispered, holding his gaze. He nodded, moving his hands from your waist down to your upper thighs, just barely grazing the soft flesh “I know, you need to know how I feel. In this world, there’s no holding back. It doesn’t matter to me if you feel the same. Won’t change how I feel or the fact that I will always have your back, will always be right at your side but I don’t want to risk dying without you knowing I love you”
“I love you too Paul” your voice was barely above a whisper, nearly inaudible over the trickling of the water but you knew he heard you when the corners of his lips ticked you. “You do?” you nodded, “I was just thinking when the men returned from the run how I’d probably risk killing them if you weren’t in that truck because I couldn’t imagine doing this without you”
“Can I kiss you?” he murmured and you nodded, “Please” the kiss started soft, tentative. Your lips barely moving against each other, taking your time in savoring the moment. Then his tongue slipped out, teasing against your lips. You gladly parted to give him access and had to bite back the moan that wanted to fall from you at the feeling of your tongues meeting.
His hands moved down, cupping the backs of your thighs and dragging your legs up around his waist. Your fingers tangled in the wet blond locks at the nape of his neck. You could feel him, hard and thick at your thigh, begging to push forward towards your warmth. You broke away from his lips long enough to say “I want this Paul” he half smiled, that lop sided grin you’d always loved “Quit reading my mind dammit” you laughed “Quit being so easy to read and have sex with your girl”
He groaned low, reaching a hand under the water and you felt the tip of his cock teasing at your entrance. “Don’t wanna hurt you” he murmured against your lips. You nodded “Just take your time going in” he grinned, slowly rolling his hips forward. The first push of his head past your lips and into your core gave a bit of resistance, it had been so long since you’d been with anyone. You gasped against his lips and he moved to kiss you deeper, muffling the sounds.
He stilled there for a moment, letting you adjust then pushed in a little deeper, inch by inch, letting you feel every ridge and vein. Once he was hip to hip with you, he broke away from your lips, head dipping down to your neck. “Fuck, this feels…” his voice trailed off, a tremor running through you both at the feeling of being connected so intimately.
“You can move Paul” you muttered. He nodded, “Give me a second, I…” he lifted his head to look at you, a crooked smirk on his face “Baby I ain’t been with anyone in a long time… you feel like heaven itself..I wanna please you here”
“Oh” you hadn’t expected that. He chuckled, mouthing at your neck as he started to gently roll his hips into yours, the angle making it where the tip of his cock was hitting just the right spot with every thrust. His pubic bone was rutting against your clit just perfectly. You could feel an orgasm building already.
“Fuck baby, already?” he gasped, feeling your walls flutter around him. You nodded, head tucked into the bend of his neck “Feels so good Paul” he grunted, keeping the pace and angle just the same. He wasn’t far away, just desperately needed you to cum first.
You dug your fingers into Paul’s hair, dragging him into a kiss to muffle the whimper of his name that fell from your lips as an orgasm tore through your body, pleasure shot up your spine, a tremor running through your body as he worked you through it. He kissed you with everything he had, gave a few more thrusts before he was cursing out a mixture of praises and your name and was snatching his hips backwards so he could pull out of you before he came. He still clung to you, fingers digging into your hips as he shivered, his own release rocking through his body.
Once you both came down, he tugged you into his arms, just holding you in the water, pressing kisses everywhere he could. “I love you, so damn much” “I love you too Paul” you whispered, laughing when his beard tickled your neck. He lifted his head, a grin on his face “So, if I told you I found you a necklace that matches mine since I know rings aren’t really in the cards nowadays would you be up for it?”
“I’d definitely be up for it” you assured him, dragging him into another kiss. You sighed happily, “Guess we better get dressed and get back” he nodded, nudging his nose against yours, “At least now I can hold you without the excuse of worrying you’re cold” you laughed, pressing a kiss to his neck “You have always had full permission to hold me. I’m yours until the day my heart stops beating” “And that will be years to come if I have anything to say about it” he quickly added and you grinned “Same goes about you there honey”
