dumbass

Wannabe Rexie, forever Mia SW: 86kg LW: 58kg CW: 63kg GW: 50kg

[magnoliabones]

Lmaoooo continued fuck ups

Cow: 65.5kgs

[magnoliabones]

Every night

I want to eat eat eat

Eat

I'd like to have a big bowl of nongshim ramen with lots of cheese in it. A big slurp of intoxicating umami.

[magnoliabones]

Checked my clothes on weight

66.6kgs

Magically zapped my appetite lmao

[magnoliabones]

Every night

I want to eat eat eat

Eat

I'd like to have a big bowl of nongshim ramen with lots of cheese in it. A big slurp of intoxicating umami.

[magnoliabones]

I did finish two gynecology lectures today though. So like, it's a semi win

[magnoliabones]

I messed up I messed upp

It was fun though. Bestie visiting, staying at chacha chachi's place and meeting Yuki. Ate a pepper jack burger, poha, pesto pasta, some tandoori Maggi, iced americano, chai, ginger coffee, half of that perfectt pyaaz kachori

And then the next evening we had those gorgeous mashed potatoes and paneer steak. It was marvelous. So was the peach iced tea that I couldn't finish.

But it was a lot of food and it set me back by a lot.

Currently back at 65.7kgs

I had reached 64.8kgs.

Very disappointed.

Must pull up my socks.

Did a successful 16 hour fast today and followed it with a lot of chicken breast and one roti.

Aiming for a 20 hour fast tomorrow. Lessgo

[magnoliabones]

I want to eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat. I want to eat till I go pop. I absolutely abhor my body.

[magnoliabones]

Should I eat more? I really really want to eat more.

[magnoliabones]

1/9/25

Update: 65.8kgs

Mild weight loss (I hit 67.8kgs a few days ago) but it's mostly cos I took A LOT of laxatives and shat my soul out this morning.

I really want to finish today's 24hour fast. Wish me luck. Oh god. Fingers crossed.

To do:

1. 24hr fast

2. Minimum 2 surgery lectures with 2 surgery units revised

[magnoliabones]

Only did one surgery lecture and a 20hr fast🤡

[magnoliabones]

1/9/25 night log

CW: 66kgs

Did a 20hr fast and then ruined it by going out with my ex and his best friend.

Nik Bakers. I had a few bites of apple pie and a few bites from a tres leches pudding. Then I had an entire matcha latte (sweetened).

I came home and had an entire roti, two whole eggs + two egg whites scrambled with pizza topping.

Approx - 800kcal today.

Still mildly disappointed. Could've done better ngl.

[odeth3lobst3r]

this sudden urge to sтarve urself to death when u r sad

[pearltowerr]

im a mess :(

im seriously begging if anyone is able to support me and help me afford my rent and groceries please send something to my paypal in my bio anything at all helps even tiny sends im losing all hope and its exhausting. i havent eaten in days bc of all the stress and im tired mentally and physically. pls also help share and boost this post! i appreciate any and all support ty <3

bcs bc it gets me more views :/

[codeine-scenee]

pls help op if you can!!

[themosiac]

Raise your hand if you “recovered” from your ED and now you’re on the thicker side and don’t recognize yourself when you look in the mirror 🙋‍♀️

[magnoliabones]

1/9/25

Update: 65.8kgs

Mild weight loss (I hit 67.8kgs a few days ago) but it's mostly cos I took A LOT of laxatives and shat my soul out this morning.

I really want to finish today's 24hour fast. Wish me luck. Oh god. Fingers crossed.

To do:

1. 24hr fast

2. Minimum 2 surgery lectures with 2 surgery units revised

[magnoliabones]

31st August 2025

Ofc I keep messing up.

The first day after the last update was supposed to be spent fasting but I went on a 6 hour "date" with a bi-curious girl(???) who probably doesn't even like me like that.

The next day I was travelling back home and didn't eat anything for the longest time but did end up eating a big meal of homemade chicken curry (that wasn't a bad day tbh)

Today I had more chicken curry and lots of paneer and gathiya and so many crack jack cookies. Wtf am I doing.

I took a shit to of laxatives though.

[magnoliabones]

I missed the body that I had exactly one year ago. My peak.

I miss her.

[magnoliabones]

Update: 66.7kgs

I fucked up so so so much.

I'm back. It's been a year since I was here last. I'm relapsing. Recovery sucks I got so fat ohmygod.

My ex and I broke up a year ago. We've still been getting involved because we're far too attracted to each other and the sex is far too good for me to be able to let go.

He always told me "the bigger the better"

Now he's asking me to fix myself. I'm fatto now. "Ohgod when did your tummy get so big"

"I miss the thigh gap"

"I need someone who's as hot as me. My biceps are the biggest they've ever been. You need to pull up your socks before I get there"

(we're long distance and we'll meet two months from now)

They lie. Bigger is never better. I've gotten so strong in the past one year. I bench 40kgs, I'm muscular, I have 12.5inch biceps. I'm fit.

But I'm fat.

Bigger is never better.

I fucked up.

So I'm back.

CW- 66.7kgs 29th August 2025

[magnoliabones]

Update: 61.5kgs

Turns out, the real trick IS high protein and only medium calorie restriction.

Taking minimum 70gms of protein erryday

And a max of 1000kcal. Living my best life and losing weight in the background. Is this what healing feels like?