The Hunting of the Snark and Other Graphic Agonies

Mahendra Singh, freelance illustrator/author Follow @mahendra_snark

[mahendra-singh]

Random nothing-to-see-here-folks illustration of the day ... the original pen and ink art’s for sale, cheep, DM for details #originalartforsale #penandink #DAPowell https://www.instagram.com/p/B9hRHZBB1Uv/?igshid=3wohsvx3id8o

[mahendra-singh]

original pen and ink art for sale, “Lord Satan” from The Gentleman by Forrest Leo, 200 USD

reduced price for a limited time (tax-man breathing down my neck), DM for full catalog/info of many more illustrations done for Gollancz, Melville House, Penguin/RandomHouse, Minecraft, Poetry Foundation, Feral House and other publishers for the last 35 years.

[mahendra-singh]

Prince Fanfreluche Before the Venusberg (looking awfully weirdsley on your thorax, coffee mug, phone case, wall, etc.) … http://tee.pub/lic/4yw8pXtzt2I

[babestourdiary]

Tuesday, 5/26/15

“Our European t-shirt design by Mahendra Singh.”

[mahendra-singh]

The Illustrator’s Dictionary of Received Opinions Deadline: a word uttered at such a high frequency that only illustrators, designers and pressmen can hear it, undetectable to writers and editors. Rush Job: similar to a blow job in that the illustrator is placed in a submissive, demeaning position with little hope of a meaningful relationship afterwards. Spec Job: similar to rush job with the added frisson of wearing rose-colored glasses while fellating the client. Art Director: twenty years ago, all ADs were frustrated illustrators, now they are frustrating illustrators. Unlike ordinary mortals, they grow younger each year. Advertising Agency Work: an illustrative auto-lobotomy. Spine: removal of which is the usual prerequisite to employment within any publication/advertising design staff. Nationally Recognized, Award-Winning Illustrator: their participation in any collaborative work usually works out to 99% of total fee, 1% of total labour. Accomplished boozers with excellent telephone manners. Agent: a tapeworm sanctified by capitalism, furnishes the basic template for 99% of the global economy. Advertising Account: invariably suspects that you will try to cheat them in the same manner that they have successfully cheated everyone else so far. A worthy symbiote to the advertising AD. A “Fresh”, “Hot” Illustration Style: a style of illustration which most closely resembles whatever style of clip-art was most popular when an AD was in art school. Fan Mail: the one perk of being an illustrator that no AD or editor will ever enjoy. The amount of fan mail one receives is inversely proportional to how “fresh” and “hot” ADs think your style is. Illustration Directory: wallpaper samples. Vector Art: a godsend for illustrators who cannot draw. Kill Fee: a sort of reward given in exchange for not doing one’s job, the apogee of postmodern, American capitalism. Licensing Fee: like a dog license except that dogs are more loyal than most licensed properties and their masters. Royalties: the penultimate stage before bankruptcy. They are called royalties because the current batch of royalty cheques wending their way through the post date from the reign of King George III. Graphic Novel: the last refuge of writers who draw even worse than they can write. Popular with the functionally illiterate, hence their general public appeal in North America. Editor: an alcoholic who can read and write while drunk. Publishing Company: a collection of alcoholics. Illustrator: an ink-stained whore. Hack: a successful ink-stained whore. Art School: a school for whores. Amazon: a pimp who offers delivery.

[terminusantequem]

Alberto Savinio (Italian, 1891-1952), Les Dioscures, 1929. Oil on canvas, 65.00 x 54.00 cm

[centuriespast]

Hendrick Goltzius Mühlbracht 1558 – Haarlem 1617 Mars and Venus Surprised by Vulcan 1585 Engraving, state I/III

Montreal Museum of Fine Arts

[superheroesincolor]

Sunshine Patriots  (2013)  //  Rosarium Publishing

“Rebellion erupts on the “paradise” planet of Elysia, plunging the colony into chaos. In response, the all-powerful United Earth dispatches its elite corps of cyborg soldiers, led by Aaron “the Berber” Barber. After more than a decade of killing hideous aliens across the galaxy, Barber questions his celebrated role in United Earth’s military/industrial/entertainment complex when he finally has to face his fellow humans.”

by Bill Campbell 

Get it now here

Bill Campbell is a native of Pittsburgh and an alumnus of Northwestern University. Throughout his varied and illustrious career, he has done everything from assembling Christmas toys in Cleveland; loading trucks, bookkeeping, and being an AmeriCorps volunteer in Atlanta; coordinating an elementary school literacy program in D.C. to teaching English as a second language in the Czech Republic. He’s also the former publisher of the independent magazine, Contraband, and the music trade magazine, CD Revolutions. 

[Follow SuperheroesInColor faceb / instag / twitter / tumblr / pinterest]

[mahendra-singh]

“Exercise freaks are stressing out our health care system,” added Doctor Pangloss. “It’s always me-me-me with these self-absorbed fitness nuts. Sure, we need affordable health care for all Freedonians, but does it really make sense to care for the healthy? That, my dear Candide, is what they call an oxymoron.”

If you’re going to die of medical neglect, why not die laughing? American Candide, the novelistic equivalent of giving your Congressman a very forcible prostrate exam instead of a vote.

[brudesworld]

The Death of Ravana, King of Lanka by Fernand Cormon, 1875

[gustavklimt-art]

Portrait of Marie Breunig, 1894

Gustav Klimt 

[amare-habeo]

Anonymous German Sculptor from Dresden

The Quarrel, 1712

Alabaster (height: 71 cm)

[mahendra-singh]

“Last week a marlin fisherman in the Gulf of Mexico was mauled to death by an angry polar bear. That bear didn’t swim all the way from the North Pole by accident. He was part of an international, animal flash mob that we can assemble in seconds, thanks to those endangered species radio collars we’ve hijacked.”

Why fight global warming when you can curl up with a great book that does your thinking for you? American Candide, the novel with a mind of its own.

[mahendra-singh]

“That’s Moses,” said Ben. “Don’t worry, we switch off his halo when it rains. It’s amazing, the way he can explain things to the field slaves. Sure, everyone wants to go down to the Promised Land, but why bother when things are just so much nicer on the plantation?”

Prescience is hell. American Candide, from Rosarium Publishing

[mahendra-singh]

“Did you know that most slaves in colonial times had better dental work and table manners than your average modern Freedonian? Heck, if that doesn’t make you think twice about certain so-called historical facts, I don’t know what will.”

American Candide, from Rosarium Press … the novel that lines America’s mental bird-cage of a mind.

[mahendra-singh]

South Park backs off where American Candide rushes forward! Why? Because real Americans aren’t quitters!  

[tomorrowandbeyond]