blog of some lucid teenager

something to remember

[mai0su]

intro

im 15 y/o

i use any and all pronouns

i dont usually talk to online people so excuse me if im awkward

i like fall out boy

as well as one piece

thats honestly it im mostly using this account just to rant about stuff

thanks for reading

[mai0su]

pete wentz fault btw.

[mai0su]

i wanna cvt myself so bad. the only reason i haven’t gone slasher on myself is because my mom found out about my sh in march and went scream crazy on me. and honestly ive been paranoid to do it since. i just want to die.

[mai0su]

havent posted in a while. but one of my pets died n im feeling like a sack of shit.

[falloutboyfan18]

Fall Out Boy

[mai0su]

what would you know. i did like that song. god i miss you so bad. my sunbeam.

[mai0su]

just ate. feel like a fucking pig again.

๐·°(৹˃ᗝ˂৹)°·๐

[calicantspell]

the millisecond scream is everything to me

[mai0su]

“Loose lips, sink ships.”

[mai0su]

my stomach is grumbling. this feels awesome.

ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)ʱªʱªʱª

[mai0su]

i barely ate anything today and i loved it. genuinely giggling to myself. heheh. sure cravings were hard to ignore. especially because im on my period. but still i only ate a Nutella sandwich and chicken strips. eugh. typing that makes it seem like way more. i wonder how many cals that was. what does that matter. just let me enjoy my hunger for a little longer. hahahahehe.

[mai0su]

“Wouldn’t you rather be a widow? Than a divorcee.”

[mai0su]

i know this may not be the best thing to be asking but idc. i need to lose weight. im 116.9 right now. i hate it. i used to be 114 but i binged so much this year its honestly disgusting. i usually just eat sometimes because i get cravings and it makes me sick. if anyone has any tips on how to cut back and lose more weight please tell me. thank you.

[mai0su]

nothing

i drew this on the lasy day of school. yes this is me.

[mai0su]

a song where you would least expect it

i feel a breeze wisp past me

havent i lived this day before?

the wind-chimes cling together softly, creating a song that harbors a gentle atmosphere

to what i can recall

the chatter of those around me sound like a bass-line to an already distant melody

its a feeling

the sun peaks through the leaves behind me and i can feel its glow land on my neck

im sweating arent i

my hair gets caught in the winds growing symphony

hair in my mouth

i grab the strands and twist them around my finger

ive felt a day like this before haven’t i?

my surroundings come together to compose a song like none man could dare to create

its beautiful

it makes my body and mind settle to a consistent tune

a song of lucidity

all of a sudden i hear a voice call to me

i laugh

one of those ugly belly laughs that shakes throughout your core

but its a laugh

how long has it been since i felt like this?

more voices join

friends

those i cherish

there was a day like this

it sung that familiar chorus, all of it conducted by the wind

a day that ive experienced before

a day i just cant quite put my finger on

but then i laugh again

and suddenly ive never heard a day like this before

[mai0su]

summer

summer just started and i already feel like im going a little crazy. in the span of 3 days ive almost texted my ex situationship 4 times, have had multiple thoughts of sh, pretty sure my best friend is ghosting me, binged so much junk, almost cut my hair off, and written multiple notes to said ex situationship. i also got a tan so thats kinda cool. that actually doesn’t seem like a lot now looking at it. the point is o feel like half of summers turmoil has passed me by in only a few amount of days, and you expect me to survive this whole summer? i think thats why i made this blog. i used to post my rants and writings on ao3, but after figuring out that a lot of irls know my account i switched to this. i also have another main tumblr account, but again, i have some irl friends followed on there so no can do. thats pretty much it. i think ill post one of my recent writings then hop off for tonight. thanks for reading.