maica windsor

[bennettjude-blog]

You couldn’t have known. I don’t even really know what I’m not doing right. 

[maica-windsor]

It’s okay. I might not be able to do anything about what’s happening with my dad, but... I can help you get healthy. I can help you feel better.

[bennettjude-blog]

Thank you. I’m.. sorry. Things are a little confusing. I try to remember what normal was like when we were kids but it’s hard. Plus, we had parents back then that took care of the thinking and the figuring things out. 

[maica-windsor]

You don’t have to apologize. I wish I’d known sooner... I can show you everything you need to know, Ben. I’ll teach you it’s all... supposed to be. 

[bennettjude-blog]

Okay. Tomorrow?

[maica-windsor]

Mhm. We’ll start in the morning.

[bennettjude-blog]

I usually just take what people give me. But.. if you think it’s something you should help, that would be good. 

[maica-windsor]

Then I’ll give you more. We’ll swing by the student store in the mornings and have a piece of fruit or some oatmeal or something before classes. Then you can come over when you’re finished and we’ll make dinner together. Okay?

[bennettjude-blog]

No, it’s okay. It was too much at first. The meals they give us at lunch are so big. I never ate that much before. 

[maica-windsor]

Small meals are fine, Bennett, but you need more than one in a day. Jesus... I swear to god, it takes everything in me not to kill my father for this. For all of it. I can help you with this... That’s at least something I know I can do.

[bennettjude-blog]

That’s what I have. What they give us during lunch hour. 

[maica-windsor]

... You only eat lunch? No breakfast, or dinner? Bennett, that’s not enough. That’s not nearly enough. It’s no wonder you feel so weak, then. I can’t believe you haven’t ended up in the nurse’s office...

[bennettjude-blog]

We eat at noon. I usually eat whatever they make. 

[maica-windsor]

Well... Cafeteria food isn’t too awful. So that’s lunch. What about dinner?

[bennettjude-blog]

I didn’t really.. think about telling anyone. It’s not all that different from before. I just thought.. maybe I’d get used to it.

[maica-windsor]

Your body doesn’t get used to malnourishment, Ben. It gets sick, and it eventually shuts down. What do you eat throughout the day?

[bennettjude-blog]

I get tired a lot. By the end of the school day my head is sometimes spinning. If you think that would help… I’d like to.

[maica-windsor]

Oh, Bennett... You should have told someone about that. You’re probably not getting enough nutrients, definitely not enough protein.

[bennettjude-blog]

You don’t have to cross it off. Maybe.. I’ll get stronger. Maybe I won’t get tired as easy. You didn’t get tired so easy. I would like to watch you dance though.

[maica-windsor]

We could... exercise together, if that’s something you’d be interested in. I could help you with your diet and... help get you strong again.

[bennettjude-blog]

Maica… I haven’t.. done much of anything for a long time. I don’t know what makes me happy now. What.. makes me happy now is just.. being around you and knowing you’re safe. 

[maica-windsor]

I, uh... I’ll officially cross rock climbing off the list. Do you... maybe want to come with me some time to my independent study? You used to like watching me dance. I promise I haven’t gotten any worse.

[bennettjude-blog]

It’s okay, Maica. You picked fine this time. 

[maica-windsor]

No... I’m not sure that I did. I want so badly to just... make you happy, but... I think I have to accept that I’m... not really sure how to do that anymore. So you should pick... You should tell me all the things that make you happy now, so we can do those things.

[bennettjude-blog]

You don’t have to be sorry, Mai. It’s okay. I’m just tired. That’s all. I didn’t.. mean anything by it. 

[maica-windsor]

I’ll pick something less strenuous next time. Or. we can pick something together.

[bennettjude-blog]

Oh.. .no– I Mean it’s fun. It’s.. fun in theory. I like this. I’m having fun now. But… it .. really did make me too tired. 

[maica-windsor]

I’m sorry... We can relax up here for a while. I’ve known Johnny for a long time, he won’t mind.

[bennettjude-blog]

Or we could just quit mountain climbing. 

[maica-windsor]

Oh... Was it really that bad? You... didn’t have fun?

[bennettjude-blog]

Okay. I just… don’t want you to not do things you like. I don’t.. want to change everything for you, Maica. So much is changed already.

[maica-windsor]

It’s not like I’m quitting chocolate, Ben. I... probably shouldn’t be drinking anyway. I’m not even legal.

[bennettjude-blog]

You don’t have to stop drinking it just because I don’t like it, Maica. 

[maica-windsor]

But I want to stop drinking it because you don’t like it.