iv.
she didn't resent this life as much as you did. not until those 'forbidden texts' opened her mind and urged her heart to seek more.
more, more, more. more than her blessed existence as the crown princess. more than what's been handed to her on a silver platter.
...no, you did not resent her. not her previous shortsightedness. not her greed.
it was all 'simply the way things were meant to be' until then.
with enough time, patience, and ambition, a sovereign could twist the world on their fingertips - history said this much.
but tutors, scholars, your parents, their advisers, others... they surrounded her with their ambitions near-constantly. she didn't have the time or room for her own. and tradition - this is how it's been done for nearly two centuries.
you figured—if she was so set on soaking up the ambitions of others, she ought to be swayed by your own at some point, too.
...
in that secret place
dimly lit,
and far away
from their prying eyes
you'll twist those words and–
"lilium,"
you blink a couple times and refocus. she had been staring at you. how long had she been staring at you?
blessedly unfazed, she simply continues.
"do you think i'd make a good prince?"
,,,huh?
"...what?" you cringe slightly, "why would you ever want to be one of those?"
"... so i wouldn't?" she looks so unnecessarily upset... you quickly clarify.
"those are the ones that are usually kissing unconscious girls, putting themselves in unnecessary danger, and generally making situations in these books worse. sometimes dumb, usually graceless... right?"
"no, not in that way, silly..." she traces the pages gently. wistful. confusingly so.
"...it's what they represent. they're true freedom. they have the choice to pursue whatever they want, whoever they desire..."
for a moment, you hesitate.
yes, that's exactly what princes are. they answer that call to action when no one else can. pointless without them, princesses represent the world and achievement of the heart's ambitions in the same way they're treated like the 'ultimate prize' in those books...
ugh, it's nonsense anyway.
this is not a fairytale. in this life, sovereigns have the wealth and power to do anything. there's no use yearning for something so beneath her. her future is already so similar.
"you're a queen, you can do whatever you want. there's no reason for you to be a prince."
"then..." with a hum, she gives it some thought. you think. but she recovers too quickly. "then i'll choose to become my lilium's prince."
sent back in your head, you pause for far too long.
...it was simply something too foolish—even for her—to genuinely desire.
but you suppose... yes, you suppose this achieves the same thing you desire—your freedom. simply... more. you ought to agree.
...
nah, you're not getting caught up in some joke.
"yeah, okay." you pretend to humor her, rolling your eyes dismissively. she whines about 'meaning it truly' and smiles so brightly, giggles so freely... like every day, lately.
at least that's the end of it.
